This chapter was probably the true writing hell for me. Most of the time I had actually wasted often gone by because I usually wrote some text, let it be, and when I opened it again to finish what I started, I went ahead and deleted everything because there was always something that seemed like it was written the wrong way. Even now, I'm not satisfied with how it turned out. So, this is another chapter that is due to a future rewrite.
Luckily, the next few chapters won't be too angsty or anything like that. I can certainly promise this. Maybe I'll enjoy writing them a lot more, too.

To say the least, Tails' situation hasn't improved all that much in the past few days. Actually, no – it was even worse off. For the past few days, Tails' daily routine was much of the same – after he woke up and took care of all the morning routine, he would lock himself in his workshop and begin working on something. He avoided talking to Cosmo and being near her, and whenever she came over to his workshop to leave him some food or drink, he would ignore her and blankly stare into one spot until the seedrian left his workshop. When he came back home to sleep, he once again tried to avoid Cosmo entirely. The young seedrian could swear that she heard sobbing coming from Tails' bedroom whenever he came back from his workshop to sleep. This continued for a few days in a row now.
On one particular day, after Cosmo brought Tails his breakfast and went back into the house, she stood in the middle of the living room for a while, looking around and listening to…Nothing. Aside from the occasional noises coming over from the workshop, the house was otherwise awfully silent.
"I just wish I could actually help Tails…But he just doesn't want me around. How am I supposed to help him at all?" – The plantgirl lamented, and went back to her housework.
It all vaulted down into oblivion a few days later, however. Normally, the daily routine would go something like this: Tails woke up before Cosmo, done all the morning routine and then ran off to the workshop for the remainder of the day. Cosmo would wake up a little later, get her own routine out of the way as well and for the rest of the day, she was pretty much taking care of all the housework – cleaning up the house, bringing breakfast/lunch/dinner over to Tails' workshop, all that. Most days, Cosmo had done all of her pre-bed routine while Tails was still away at his workshop, and the young fox only came back by the time Cosmo was already sleeping in the guest room. Despite being a couple and living in the same house, the two pretty much lived like if they were living separately – with Tails trying to ignore Cosmo and Cosmo trying not to disturb Tails respectively.
On this particular morning, however, when Cosmo woke up, she had heard sobbing coming from Tails' bedroom. As she exited the bedroom and slowly opened the door, she saw that Tails was sitting on the floor, weeping. At first Cosmo just wanted to leave him be and not worsen the situation, but soon realized that she must at least know what was the cause of all of this. The plantgirl slowly entered the room and walked over to Tails. No reaction, Tails was still crying. Cosmo slightly knelt down to the young fox and asked: "What's the matter?"
Tails didn't respond once again.
"Tails, please, just tell me, what's wrong." – Cosmo asked again in a more concerned tone. Tails sighed and half-heartedly replied: "Everything."
"What do you mean by that?" – Cosmo asked in a slightly confused tone. The young fox only sighed in reply, not wanting to continue the conversation.
"Enough. You saw it all too well – waiting for things to settle on their own did nothing good to the situation. It's about time you take matters into your own hands." – Cosmo thought to herself, and asked again: "Tails, please, just tell me what's wrong. If there is something troubling you, don't be afraid to tell about it."
Tails sighed and replied: "Alright. But it's going to be quite a long story."
"Don't worry. I'll gladly hear you out." – The seedrian said, helping Tails stand up from the floor. Tails sat down on his bed, took a deep breath, and spoke up:
"To say the least…When I first met you, I had actually thought my life was getting even better. My life was quite tough to begin with – I hardly even remembered my parents, and up until I met Sonic, I spent most of my childhood at one rather awful orphanage in the city. While the caretakers hadn't really abused neither me nor the other kids in the orphanage and never neglected to take care of us, the aforementioned other kids were…Rather cruel, to say the least." – Tails shuddered at the unpleasant memories. While Cosmo was certainly caught off-guard by Tails deciding to go ahead and tell his life story to her, she still listened carefully.
"What did the caretakers do about all the bullying and teasing? Nothing. One day, I ran away from the place. Nothing was keeping me there – I had no friends in the orphanage, and I was sure no one was going to adopt me. I hardly even remember how and when I actually met Sonic afterwards…But we've gotten along fairly well and it was not uncommon of me to tag along with him on some of his adventures. So, that was the point when my life has taken a turn for the better. I had actually thought it was going to stay that way. Then, over four years before now, you crash-landed on the planet. I already told you about how you made me feel when I first saw you. But about what I felt when you had disappeared…I did hold back a bit when I was talking about it." – Tails took another deep breath, as he was about to bring up another unpleasant memory.
"I was but an empty shell of my former self. Even though on the outside I mostly pretended to be my usual cheerful self, on the inside, I was practically screaming in sorrow and anguish. And of course, there was the guilt." – Tails paused for a moment, shuddering. – "Those scars you saw on my hands back then? They were just the more recent ones. I constantly sought to punish myself for the biggest mistake of my life – for letting you down and basically killing you by my own hands. One nagging thought was always in the back of my head: 'This is all your fault and you must be punished.' "
(Flashback)
"Aargh!"
Another swipe of a thin razor blade across the fur on the young fox's hand. Another bleeding wound left behind. Another cry of pain. And the nagging voice in the back of Tails' mind, constantly repeating: "You deserve to be punished."
What would Cosmo think of him if she saw him like this, constantly inflicting more and more razor wounds on himself completely willingly? She would be horrified. She would be disgusted. She wouldn't believe that this emotional trainwreck actually used to be the young boy that she fell for way back then.
And yet, Tails didn't bother with it.
"Cosmo is dead. She died by my own hands. It was all my fault. I must be punished." – That was the thought running through Tails' mind as he continued to inflict more and more painful wounds on himself. Soon enough, the pain was getting too overwhelming, and Tails passed out. The last thing he remembered from that particular memory was a sound of someone barging into his house through the front door.
(End of flashback)
"And that didn't happen just once. I don't really remember how often, but I certainly didn't stop up until your return." – Tails said, finishing this particular part of the story and letting Cosmo analyze what she just heard.
The plantgirl was looking noticeably horrified.
"I…I…I'm terribly sorry you had to suffer like this because of me." – There Cosmo was, back to her usual, cowering self, if only for just a moment. – "But I don't understand one thing…I thought that, with my return, our life was going to get back to being moderately normal."
"I thought so too, Cosmo. But it wasn't just your disappearance that had fazed me so much, you know. It was the fact that I had hurt you by my own hands. The nightmares and panic attacks didn't start until later after your return, because…Well, your return was a little sudden. I was rather happy and content with everything. But then some painful memories reared their ugly head again, and I was left feeling even guiltier, as your return basically meant that I had to answer for my sins to the one person that suffered the most from them." – Tails sighed as he finished his speech. This was the situation where Cosmo knew that speech alone wouldn't convince her foxy boyfriend and she decided to take a slight risk.
The plantgirl tightly embraced the kitsune, holding him closely to herself. At first, Tails was a little confused, and asked: "Cosmo…What is that all about?"
"Tails, tell me something." – Cosmo took a deep breath and continued: "If I didn't forgive you, would I be hugging you right now? Would I be trying my best to reassure you? Would I go as far as to convince Gaia herself to let me return to the mortal world so that I can be with you again?"
"Well…" – The onslaught of questions was a bit overbearing, but in the end, they all led to the same answer. "I guess you wouldn't."
"See? Don't worry about it, Tails. Dwelling on this incident won't do you any good. What's done is done, and there's no need to worry about it." – Cosmo wanted to find a way for Tails to get his mind off of the incident, and she immediately thought of something. – "How about we go out into the Mystic Forest again? I mean, you haven't gone outside in quite a while, so I suppose a breath of fresh air might be able to ease your troubled mind."
"Actually…That would be nice."

Just like back then, Cosmo and Tails had wandered rather deep into the forest, right to the same tallest tree that they had climbed on during their date less than a week ago. This time, however, neither Tails nor Cosmo really felt like going up to the top of the tree, instead just quietly lying next to each other in the shade of it. Tails had quietly leaned on to his seedrian girlfriend's shoulder, seemingly half-asleep. Cosmo smiled at this, and slightly pet Tails on the back of his head. The young fox replied with a satisfied sort-of-purring noise, which made Cosmo giggle.
"You seem to be perfectly content with the current situation." – The plantgirl said, still petting Tails.
"It's just that…It's so nice and calm here. I just love being up close and personal with you like that." – The kitsune replied, moving his head in such a way that his left ear brushed against Cosmo's shoulder slightly. The green-haired girl embraced her boyfriend and asked: "You're feeling a lot better now, are you?"
Tails just quietly nodded, and Cosmo let go of him, for now just sitting next to him and holding his hand. The two sat there for a few more moments before Cosmo asked: "So, did you have any plans for the near future?"
"Well…Depends on your definition of "near future", of course." – Cosmo giggled at the young kitsune's reply, and she then said: "I meant in the nearest future. The next few days, maybe even a week. Myself, I wanted to see a bit more of Mobius. For example, I always wanted to see a Mobian city up close – back when I crash-landed on Mobius, I hadn't had much of a chance to do so."
Now this is where Tails has gotten a little nervous, and he replied: "Yes, well…Look, the city is a rather nice place, but…I don't really think it's a good place for an alien to hang around in. I can't guarantee that the citizens won't mistreat you or won't think of you as another invader."
"But they've never seen any of my kind, how would they know-" – Tails didn't let his girlfriend finish her sentence and said: "True, but they are pretty suspicious of any and all aliens. I can convince them that you're here on peaceful terms, but I doubt they would think about an alien walking around in broad daylight as anything normal. Unlike the planets whose inhabitants thrive entirely on doing business with other races, we barely even have any two-way communications with most alien races. What little contact we had with any and all alien races…It certainly wasn't going on peaceful terms."
"Oh." – Cosmo, of course, understood what Tails meant. – "I get it. So, the city is off limits to me?"
"Well, not completely off limits. We can go out into there, sure, but…I can't guarantee that we won't be getting any suspicious glares directed at us or whispers behind our backs." – Tails replied, frowning.
"It doesn't really matter to me what complete strangers would think about who I am. I guess if it doesn't go too far, then I suppose it won't be much of a problem." -
"Alright. But I'm certainly not going tomorrow. I still have a project to work on, you know." – Tails said, sliding back down onto the ground a tiny bit. Cosmo was a little curious just what Tails was working on, and so, after a few moments of silence, she slightly turned to face the young kitsune and asked: "By the way, what was that project, anyway?"
"Oh, just an upgrade for the Cosmic Tornado. I figured that simply repairing it won't do, and that I might improve the failsafe system while I'm at it. Make it easier to repair in case of another unsuccessful landing, make said landings less dangerous for the pilot – you know, just all the failsafe necessities." – Tails answered in his more usual, cheerful voice. He certainly liked discussing such matters with others, but most of them wouldn't really listen. And yet here Cosmo was, ready to hear him out on something that became both his field of work and his hobby at the same time.
"You seem to be really passionate about mechanics and engineering. I wish I could learn something about this field of work as well." – Cosmo replied, looking up a bit.
"Sure thing. But are you sure you can handle this?" – Tails realized that it sounded like an insult to his girlfriend's intelligence, and immediately corrected himself: "Not that I think you're not smart enough for mechanics, it's just that…" – Cosmo just giggled at the young fox's bashfulness.
"Now that's the Tails I remember." – The plantgirl replied in a somewhat laughing voice. – "I may not be a natural at mechanics, but this doesn't mean I completely cannot grasp them. After all, I did live most of my life on a seedrian spaceship."
"Very well then. We'll start whenever you feel like it."
"That would be great." – And with that, Cosmo finished the conversation. For the next hour or so, the two were just quietly sitting next to each other, holding hands and giving each other the occasional loving looks, as the only sounds around them were the distant chirping of birds, and the sound of leaves and grass being rustled by the gentle wind.