I woke up screaming. I shot up as if electrocuted; trembling and panting as the after-effect.

It was dark, and not even the light from the window—if there was one; wherever I was—made a difference. The panic rippled through me into a hyperventilation attack, and I couldn't control myself. With the fresh fear from my nightmare along with my last waking moments, my mind finally began to process—now collapsing more than ever.

I couldn't trust anyone anymore; whoever it was that was after me could change into anyone at any time, and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Even if I was somewhere safe, how could I trust anyone now that I knew this person could be literally anyone?

The door slid open with a loud slam; causing the grip I had on the sheeted mattress beneath me to result in the muscles of my palm to spasm. A tall, shadowed figure stood at the threshold, causing me to lurch back into the wall; the memory of the shapeshifting assailant that haunted me in both the dormant and waking world sending me into a dangerous cardiac sputter.

"Akinoyo, what happened?" Toushirou urgently rushed toward me.

"S-S-Stay away from me!" I shouted.

He proceeded forward through my feeble protest; taking an adjacent seat next to me on the mattress. I squirmed back even without the actual space behind me—my hyper-active amygdala refusing to budge even a fraction.

"Akinoyo, calm down; it's me, Toushirou," he cautiously cooed as he leaned toward me.

"D-Don't come any closer!" I managed through the staggered breaths.

"Breathe; you're not bre—"

"You're h-him aren't you?" I choked out. "The m-man from before; the shape-shifter, the assailant, th-th—"

"No, Akinoyo; it's me, Toush—"

"Don't lie to me! Where am I? W-What are y-you—"

In a quick movement, he took the side of my face in his palm, and pressed his forehead against mine. "You're safe, Akinoyo; please, just breathe."

The touch of his cool skin on mine begged for my shrieking mind to calm down, and although it was uncompliant, my heart beats and the shallow feeling in my stomach from his gesture caused the guard miniscule falter. He wasn't making any sudden movements. He stayed still; the only movement from him in reaction to my shaking. The lack of abrupt movement on his end encouraged my psychotic-overdrive to lower the output, but I just—this seemed so much like him though.

"H-How do I know you're telling the truth?"

His hand shifted to cradle my head; his thumb gently grazing just behind my jawline. "Would your Romeo lie to his Juliet?"

It was him.

It was really Toushirou.

My hyperventilating breaths settled down to ones of a small child. Tears escaped my eyes as my shallower breaths and sniffling trailed behind.

"T-Thank Kami it's you," I choked out—his other hand set over my trembling right one, and I loosened my grip at the touch.

"You're okay now; nothing is going to happen now that I'm with you." He withdrew his forehead from mine, and stared into my eyes—I stared down at the small space between us; trying to control my two flooded lavender seas.

"Thank you, Toushirou; y-you being here means everything to me,"

"And here I thought I was still your everything," Miyuki's words from my terrifying dream repeated in my head.

Guilt squeezed my heart like a death-grip on yesterday at the recollection. Miyuki was once my everything, but when she died I lost all emotion. I became an empty void; it didn't matter what was happening to me, or what anyone wanted—they could take it. I had nothing I cared about left in my life when she passed. Over several years, I finally decided to do something for myself for once; I wouldn't get emotionally attached or reliant to anyone ever again, and I would persevere all on my own. I took myself out of there—I didn't need anyone to support me any more.

I didn't want a Miyuki replacement; I was acceptant of what I'd become, and I fully intended to keep it that way. I didn't want anyone to ever reign supreme in my world again, but…now I...

A warm touch swept the top of my cheekbone. I twitched by default; the hand that snuck past my periphery pausing before repositioning for another sweep.

"It's okay," he cooed.

I looked up into the soft gaze he had on me, which only confirmed to me how far I'd fallen yet again. I'd complained so much about how I hated this, but now that I was sobbing uncontrollably again, the feeling just reared its ugly head back to haunt me again.

"Why?"

His gaze didn't falter, and I took hold of the hand wiping the tears from my cheek.

"Why do you do this?" I asked.

He didn't say anything—just waited for me to continue.

"W-What good comes out of comforting me for you? Why are you here? Why put up with someone who is an empty shell of what she once was? Do you even realize just how much time out of your own life you're wasting on comforting me? Do you?"

I drifted from my own self-loathing to another aspect that only made me realize it even more. I was so emotional that everything coming out of my mouth sounded border-line angry and insulting, but it was something that honestly concerned me. Why was he always there for me? Why did he make me feel this way—like it was okay to be a fragile, emotional carbon-based lifeform with feeble control of her own reality? Okay, maybe I was going a little overboard, but the guilt that he had to put up with me sent me spiraling even faster down this sickening internal whirlpool of self-hatred

"Comforting you isn't a waste of my time, nor will it ever be. You keep lumping yourself in with the lowest of the low, when that isn't the case at all. You're not worthless; you deserve the time of day, Akinoyo. I've told you this before, yet you still don't accept the words I've said."

I put his hand down into the space between us; taking both of my arms and holding myself as I hunched forward and broke our eye contact.

"It's because you're not getting it, Toushirou. You're not getting that I'm just another lost cause. It's only a matter of time before they get me, and then they'll come for all the ones that tried to help me. Why go to the length? I don't want any of you to get hurt; especially you, Toushirou. I didn't want anyone to cross over that line, and yet I let you through like there wasn't even a barrier to begin with. Due to my own weakness and crumbling self-esteem, you're ultimately a target for them as well. He even told me that it's up to my discretion on how many of my 'friends' I want to sacrifice until they reel me back in." Cue the fresh tears.

"And with knowing all this, you still are right here—taking care of me—when you could've just left me and been on your merry fucking way. Why the fuck do I matter to you so Kami-damned much that you would risk your own safety for me? Why do you continuously assist a sobbing fucking wreck like me, that's border-line going insane and ready to just call life quits for the sake of all of you, when you could have the time of your life doing anything fucking else? I don't get it at all. I don't get your reasoning at all."

I shifted my hands up and down along my arms with the uncomforting realization of the word vomit coming up out of my mouth. I was being so fucking rude when all he was doing was trying to help. But I couldn't stop what I was doing; I couldn't stop the harsh truth that completely wrecked me internally as each second passed by. I was wrecking everyone's lives, and giving nothing back.

My shoulders trembled as I touched into another truth that absolutely terrified me.

"Now the attacks are getting more frequent, Toushirou; I barely escaped last time because I wasn't in control of myself, and now guess what? We find out this guy can be anyone and turn into anyone, and now I can't tell him apart from anyone. I keep getting hurt, and making you feel responsible when it isn't even you're fault, and I keep causing more and more problems as this keeps unravelling, and I keep worrying everybody, and becoming more of a burden to you, and I—"

His lips took mine without warning.

As I halted in petrification from the sudden action, he moved his lips against mine delicately; the soft touch of them assisting tremendously in halting my anxious, melt-down verged cry to a complete stop. He disconnected the kiss, but lingered at the spot; my cheek now in his palm again.

"For once,"

The fingertips of his other hand ascended delicately along my arm; stopping to gently take hold of my shoulder.

"Can't you just let me ease your worried mind?"

In nine simple words, my brain came to a screeching stop; skidding across the asphalt pavement with smoke coming from its heels. I didn't understand just how the man could do it; how he could make my mind almost completely shut down with the simplest of touches. As my mind mellowed, my body now assumed command; my right hand rising to take hold over his on my cheek.

Taking that as my permission granted; he took my lips once again.

The insane clenching of my fear and self-loathe loosened upon the touch; replaced with another welcomed squeeze around the beating organ in my chest I'd been in need of. Those soft lips of his sent all the bad feelings away so instantly it was like drugs, but drugs that wouldn't leave me in a horrendous state of complete fortuitous paralysis for others.

I took my hand off his, and pulled him closer to me by the linen of the haori he proudly wore. As much as I'd just completely cemented the fact that he was better off without me, now that my mind was cut off almost entirely, my heart completely took command and charge at the opportunity he'd given me. He complied to my request, while making one of his own. The hand on my shoulder left down to the small of my back; pulling me into him to securely close the gap between us.

After a few short, gratuitous moments on my lips, he left his post there and began at my collarbone. His hot breath on me left my lip quivering from the need I never knew I had; I'd never shied away from a man's touch due to the nature of my previous job, but for some reason now, I felt completely different. I loved every second of what was happening and didn't want it to stop, but the excited butterflies that flurried in my stomach caused me to falter; I-I wasn't good enough for him. What was he thinking—doing this with a whore like me?

But as he continued lightly grazing my skin with those sweet pecks of his, the more that I wanted to send those thoughts to Hell. I wanted to permanently rid myself of all those horribly horrendous thoughts that composed my depressive personality, and I wanted that heat he provided to rid me of it—I wanted it everywhere, and I wanted the actions that normally followed afterward by it to send me into absolute bliss. This entire happening was so sudden, and as much as I wanted things to progress quickly, I knew in the back of my mind that I needed to restrain some of my selfish behavior.

He left my collarbone, and began at the base of my neck; little nibbles at the tender skin here and there—making my breathing deepen in an effort to restrain myself.

"Toushirou, I—" I reached both hands around him; gripping the fabric on his back as I continued. "I-If you keep that up, I won't be able to hold myself back any longer—I-I don't want you to r-regret this," I muttered.

I forcibly made my body stiffen under his own leaning over me, all in an effort to stifle myself from making any sudden movements. He was a Taichou—he was important. This action could ruin him; this affair with a whore that was an underling in another Squad not to mention also under investigation could send his reputation plummeting downhill. It was wrong and I knew it, but my heartbeat that thrashed like a vicious beast within me didn't want me to let him stop. I wanted all of him; every last bit of him explored and dominated by me—I gulped down the resulted salivation exuding from the thought.

He kissed tenderly under my jawbone; the actual emotion behind the action arousing me in a way I'd never experienced before—was this what it was like to have real intimacy involved?

"There would be nothing to regret,"

His fingertips brushed some of the hair resting on my face to the side, as if opening the curtains for a full view of the main attraction.

"While your worry is sweet of you, please don't let it be your reasoning to shy away from me. All I want is for you to relax, Akinoyo; your mind, your soul,"

He placed his forehead against mine. I opened my eyes to meet those entrancing aquamarine ones I cherished so much.

"Your everything,"

His thumb brushed across my cheek, and my breathing stuttered as his other hand slithered around to rest on my hip; his fingers gently pressing against the protruding bone.

"Akinoyo,"

His lips hovered over mine, and my hands clenched the fabric tighter as a last ditch effort to steel myself.

"Will you allow me to be the one to help you?"

I couldn't hold myself back another second.

I pressed my lips against his, and took my hand to the back of his neck to pull him into my rough, unrestrained kiss. He reciprocated it, quickly taking the reigns from me as he pulled me closer into him. My other hand went to the fabric covering his chest; gripping it fiercely and pulling it toward me. My hunger for him seemed ravenous now, and I clenched my legs together to rid myself of the lustful craving that radiated between them.

In almost an effortless motion, he pulled me back with him, and laid me down on the mattress. He deepened the kiss with the insertion of his tongue; causing me to pucker at the new waves of seduction that overwhelmed me. His hands were at my hips; making their way to my obi to untie the damn restrictive fabric. My own hands were already past the kosode and underneath his shitagi; feeling his chest, and reading his pectorals like brail as I descended down him delicately. One hand stayed at his side while the other felt his lower abdominals; playfully tracing the lines back and forth, and occasionally inching further downward then back up in a tease.

I could feel the smirk on his lips at my action; he pulled back from the kiss to nibble on my lower lip as his first form of payback—the second that followed surpassing the brutality of the first easily. He loosened up both the kosode and shitagi to reveal my bandage-wrapped torso and lilac bra. He knew better than to attempt anything at the area I despised, so his hand merely trailed up along my side; stopping at the wire of my bra. His fingers inched underneath the wire; the hand on the arm that balanced him over me separating the lining of my bra gently under my right breast, while the fingers of his other crept further up into the cup of my left.

His lips left mine to trail back down to my jaw; I took in quick, short pants to bring myself back to a normal heartrate. His fingers inched further over my breast; gravitating slowly toward the quivering, protruding nerve-ending sticking up at the center. His fingers stopped at the dividing line between nipple and breast, and he traced the line of it gently back and forth—the true payback that made me want to just full-on ravage him without another moment to lose. As my hands travelled further down to slip beneath his waistline, his words cut off the action.

"I don't want you to think this is all for my own gratification; I want you to be the one letting your mind slip away for once," he took my hands out of his pant-line, and left them to linger at his chest. "To let yourself slip away for once, and let someone who cares for you to show admiration for you," he kissed me again, and brought his hand back up to cradle my face as he leaned onto his elbow.

He brought his head up to stare down into me, and I returned the soft gaze with my own. He smiled lightly, and the look of it on his features made me completely melt into my pulsating feelings for him.

"Only if you'll allow it, however,"

I knew what he was implying. While everything that was happening didn't point to it, he wanted to make sure I didn't feel like this was solely him taking advantage of me like all the other men ever had. He didn't want me to get the rape-vibe that was literally every single sexual encounter I'd ever had. He wanted me to want him; to take this experience in for myself rather than money or any other benefit. He wanted me to feel like a normal person—a normal person with someone who admired her.

The emotion that had been in hiding for the past several years resurfaced; displayed in a smile of true, warm endearment and gratitude. My left hand reached up to rest along the crook of his neck while my right cupped the side of his face; my thumb gently sweeping across his cheek.

"I just…"

I looked away from him. What was I doing?

"I-I just don't want to be a burden to you; I'm loving every second of this, but I don't want you to feel like you have to do this,"

He lowered himself and kissed me briefly; leaving my lips begging for more as his hot breath covered the moist surface. "Please, I don't want you to think that way; I'm doing this because I feel for you, Akinoyo—I want you to know I'm here for you, I want to help you, I want to protect you,"

He moved my face to look at him; the seriousness of his gaze something I never thought I'd see coming from him toward me. "Most of all, I just want you, Akinoyo—all of who you really are,"

For the first time in my life, an uncontrolled eruption of elated emotion ruptured through the beating organ in my chest. This feeling was something that for the first time didn't seem like emotion stemming from reliance; it was pure, and from a place I never knew my blackened mind allowed to exist—my actual soul.

The blush erupting on my cheeks made me avoid eye contact with him—this new shy, feminine characteristic in full swing at the realization of his words. Although my throat seemed to close and saying anything at all seemed like a lost cause, I gathered the strength so as not to keep him waiting. There was so much that I needed to say, but I had to settle on brevity for the time being.

"There is no one else I want, Toushirou; I…I want your everything, and in exchange I want to give you my everything. You're the only one I would gladly slip away with—the one I want more than anything to slip away with. Toushirou, I—"

"You've always belonged to me—you can never belong to anyone else."

Miyuki…

No.

She left me.

It was time I took my false idol off her pedestal; even if it really was her the other night. She would always hold a special place, but I had to move on—she wasn't here with me anymore.

I looked back up into his eyes, sudden courage and determination reflecting back into his own. "I want to be yours, only if you will be mine."

His gaze softened, and he pressed his forehead back to mine. "You've always been one for equivalent exchange," he brushed his nose against mine. "I am yours, and you are mine from here forward—agreed?"

"You know he isn't enough to satisfy you; he isn't suitable as my replacement,"

Defiant against my own misconstrued disruptive thoughts, I pulled his head down so his lips met mine; completely commandeering his mouth briefly to satisfy my relentless hunger.

She didn't matter anymore…she…she didn't…she didn't matter.

This is what I wanted.

I pulled back for the briefest of moments; only to reply to—what I now realized was—the most important question in my existence.

"Agreed."

He met my lips again, and gave into his own hunger I now knew for certain he had for me. I gripped his hair with one hand while my other gripped onto his hip; pressing my fingertips to reiterate my lustful need into the bone. His hand slipped beneath my back to unlatch my bra; and the second the fabric loosened, his hand came back from underneath the elastic under my arm to meet with my breast. He ghosted slowly over my breast, causing me to stiffen in anticipation of the touch I'd been in dying need of.

His lips left my mouth, and fled back down to my neck in a predetermined route. As his soft lips passed between my collar bones, his other hand crept over my unattended breast; the warmth of his rough palm aiding in the increased beating within my chest. He moved my bra out of his way; the wired cupped boulder-holder resting above my actual breasts as he rose to gaze upon the territory he was about to monopolize.

My fingers that were still in his hair trailed down to the back of his neck, and both hands cradled the base of his head; my thumbs feeling his chiseled jawline before proceeding further down to the muscles on his shoulders. He went down into the valley between my breasts; tender kisses that outlined the base of my left one sending expectant shivers over me yet again. As he proceeded to scale up to the peak of it, his thumb and forefinger of his other hand played along the dividing line of the other in circular motions, making me finally cringe and let out a tiny yelp accidently. His lips met the other nipple after his planned, playful tease, and the feeling of his tongue along the aroused nerve-endings had me grip his shoulders and tighten and twist my legs beneath him. His other hand played along with the other protruding nerve-ending, his goal in presenting the one-way ticket to bliss successfully accomplished.

I'd become impatient now however, and the mere entry ticket he handed me was not enough; I wanted to board that train immediately, and I wanted him feeling exactly how I was.

I began lifting my head up; the motion of my chest rising up causing him look up at me and halt as I pushed myself up toward him. Once he rose back up to an upright position, I took his mouth by storm; leaning into him with the fierce thirst dying to be quenched.

As I quickly pushed myself forward in order to gain that dominate position atop him, a sharp pain in my abdomen halted me in my tracks; causing me to disconnect the kiss, and intake a sharp inhale as my hand immediately flew to my torso. Alerted, Toushirou pushed me back delicately to look over me; worry clearly replacing that lustful aura from mere seconds ago.

"Your wound still hasn't healed completely," he reached back under my clothing and latched my bra back on before ushering me to lay back down.

I frowned at the necessary action.

While my wound throbbed from the accidental over-exertion, it didn't compare to how terrible I felt that we couldn't continue. We'd finally made the progress I'd longed for, and then I had to pull the rookiest of moves.

"I'm sorry, Toushirou; I-I didn't mean to—"

"No, I should be the one apologizing; I was completely engaged in the moment that I neglected to remember your injury,"

He lifted my hand away from the spot; inspecting to see if any blood soaked through the bandages before he proceeded. The chartreuse, healing reiatsu glowed beneath his palm, as his facial expression changed completely to regret. I took hold of his other hand, and he looked back toward me with that worried glaze over his hues.

"Toushirou, these past few moments have meant the world to me. There's nothing to be sorry about—I'm the one that forgot about my own injury." I smiled sheepishly.

"But—if you wouldn't mind—I was hoping to make a request…if possible," My free hand went to his cheek, and I smiled shyly—yet incandescently for the first time in my life—up at him before averting my eyes. "W-Would it be possible…for you to sleep next to me tonight?"

Oh Kami, was I asking for too much? Kami, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself for creating such a needy cretin.

His hand on my cheek caused my eyes to flicker back against my will. He reciprocated my previous smile with a warm one of his own; the small movement of his lips making my heart leap due to the fact that I caused that emotion in another soul. He bent down with a quick shake of his head—finding my plea funny no doubt—and planted a sweet, soft kiss on my lips before pulling back enough to speak.

"Of course—I'd do anything for you, Juliet,"