Chapter Thirteen

The first time she opened her eyes it was confusing. Buffy knew she wasn't in her bedroom. That was easy to see as nothing looked liked her bedroom. Everything was too different. The decorations were all wrong and she wasn't wrapped up in her sheets.

She closed her eyes and opened them again as she remembered she was at Faith's apartment. The previous night came back to her then, all the talking she and Faith had done and how Faith had told her she wouldn't hurt her. The other slayer definitely wasn't hurting her right now as she held her close. The feeling made Buffy smile.

Buffy didn't know if Faith was awake or not but she figured she wasn't since her breathing was very even. They were both on their sides facing each other and Buffy was curled into her, resting her head against her chest. Faith had an arm wrapped around her in an almost protective manner and their legs were tangled together.

It felt perfect, like it was meant to be, and Buffy wondered if that was the reason she didn't have a splitting headache and she wasn't completely overwhelmed with fake memories. She didn't know if the feelings she had for Faith at the moment were genuine or because of the spell but she couldn't remember the last time she felt so loved.

For a few seconds she thought about how crazy that sounded in her head: she felt loved by someone who had been her enemy for a very long time. Granted it was only long in teenage years but it still felt like a lifetime in Buffy's mind. It was insane to think that there would be any kind of love between them. Hell, when they fought Buffy was sure that by the end one of them would be dead and during their last fight, she had accepted that she would be the one to kill Faith. She had made peace with what felt like a simple fact.

Now everything was different and it was hard to explain why. Explaining what she was feeling and seeing because of the spell was easy. All the memories of happy times with Faith were fake and she knew that. Buffy figured all the feelings she had when those memories flashed through her mind were also fake so it was easy to put those aside.

As she looked up at the ceiling she knew what had changed was Faith. It was as though the person lying in bed with her was completely different from the one that had shown up in Sunnydale. The spell had changed something in her as well and Buffy wanted to know why. She would have thought that she would be set on revenge when she had woken up and that the spell wouldn't have stopped that. It might have even helped.

There was movement next to her and Buffy looked away from the ceiling toward Faith. She watched as the other woman opened her eyes and looked at her. "Good morning."

Faith smiled at Buffy as she turned her head more so she could see her better. The first thought in her head was that the woman next to her looked amazing first thing in the morning. "Good morning."

The urge to kiss Buffy was strong, so much so that she almost had to restrain herself from doing just that. She didn't want to scare her off and risk ruining the morning. She wanted to get breakfast with her and have what for most people would be a normal morning.

Faith had never had a normal morning.

She settled for running her fingers through Buffy's hair. "Sleep okay?"

Buffy nodded. "There's something about being here that is relaxing to me. It's a little strange."

"How's it strange?"

"Think about it," Buffy started out quietly as she sat up a little. "We almost killed each other here. We broke most of your furniture fighting. And now . . . now we're lying in bed together and you're looking at me . . . like that."

"Like what?" Faith asked as she continued to smile at her.

"Like you have feelings for me," she managed to whisper out.

"I do," Faith said just as quietly.

They looked at each other for minute before Faith looked away and managed to get out of bed even though every part of her wanted to stay there. "I don't really have any food here. Do you wanna go and get some breakfast?"

Buffy thought about the offer for a few seconds. She looked over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was still early. Her mother knew where she was and she didn't have plans with any of her friends this morning. The only place she needed to be was that she would eventually go to Giles' place but she would likely be doing that with Faith.

It made her think of a memory where Faith had surprised her with breakfast in bed. Well, it hadn't been much of a surprise. She had woken up to the sound of the smoke detector and Faith swearing as she dumped out the remains of some very overcooked bacon.

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

Faith grinned, showing off her dimple. "Do you want to use the shower or do you want to go home and get some new clothes? I probably have something you can wear so you don't have to wear what you were wearing last night."

Buffy could tell Faith was a little nervous and for a second thought it was a little cute. "Sure but let's get going. I bet you're starving."

"Always, B."

It felt like a first date.

That's what Buffy kept thinking as she let Faith drive them to a small café that she had only been to once or twice before. One of the waitresses sat them in one of the booths and left them alone with menus, causing both of them to focus on anything other than each other.

Small talk between them had always been awkward, even in some of her fake memories. Faith had always been a little antisocial and at the start it had been like pulling teeth to get her to open up about anything without being sarcastic about it. That was only the first few times they had talked though. After that, she was much more open and Buffy felt that nothing was awkward after that.

That was from the spell though.

"What are you thinking?"

Buffy looked up from her menu. "What?"

"For food," Faith clarified. "What looks good?"

"Oh . . . I guess I hadn't thought of that yet."

Faith smiled, knowing Buffy had been thinking about something else. She always had a certain look when she was. "I don't think the waitress is going to let us sit here all day." She paused. "What were you thinking about?"

"What do you think?"

Faith nodded and was about to say something else when the waitress and her perfect timing stopped that from happening. Both of them quickly picked something off the menu and ordered so they were left alone again. Once she was gone Faith looked at Buffy again.

"I think you should tell me more about the Faith in your head."

Buffy raised an eyebrow at that. "What do you mean?"

"Whenever you get a faraway look on your face and actually tell me what's on your mind, you're always thinking about one of the memories from the spell." Faith paused and leaned forward slightly. "So what were you thinking about?"

For a second Buffy thought about changing the subject completely but then she realized that there didn't seem to be a need to. She had already been sharing some things with her. "I was thinking about how spell Buffy got spell Faith to open up. I already have this awkwardness in my head."

Faith laughed. "It is a little awkward."

Buffy smiled as she realized how much she liked to hear Faith's laugh. "Okay, here's what I know about you from the spell. Your dad was nonexistent and your mom was a terrible mother. She didn't look out for you like she should have. You made some mistakes and once you told me you regretted half the decisions you made in order to survive in Boston." She paused. "Right so far?"

"It was probably more than half. I wasn't the brightest kid."

There was a silence between them before Buffy thought of the right thing to say. "Never say that you aren't smart or bright or whatever. Faith, you sell yourself short so much. I don't know how many people told you that but they were wrong. They just wanted to keep you quiet but I don't want that. I want your opinion. I want to know what you're thinking."

"No one wants that, B," Faith said then kept her mouth shut as the waitress arrived with their food.

It wasn't that talking with Buffy made her uncomfortable but having her say that she valued and wanted her opinion surely did. That wasn't something she ever thought Buffy wanted and had always had the impression that she was always supposed to follow her lead. She wasn't supposed to give a differing opinion.

Buffy watched Faith as she ate and noticed that what she had said made her whole body stiffen. She knew what she had said wasn't something Faith had expected to hear and she knew that without the spell, she wasn't sure that she would have ever said it. Instead, she probably would have the same misinformed judgments of the other slayer. It made her think that there was a silver lining to the spell that was causing her so much pain.

"It's not bad," she said quietly.

"What's not bad, B?" Faith asked as she looked up from her food. "I've always thought the food here was pretty good."

"No, not that," Buffy said as she looked at Faith. "My head . . . the longer I'm with you the less the pain is. For a second I didn't even realize I was in any pain."

"That's good, right?"

Buffy nodded. "I really don't understand this spell. We should get to Giles' to see if he can explain any of this."

Faith nodded and watched as Buffy continued to eat. The mysteries of the spell the Mayor used was something she knew she would never be able to explain or probably even comprehend. She was finally happy to have a watcher that might be able to discover the answer.

"Faith, is that your car?"

Faith smiled as she walked behind Buffy as they met Giles outside his front door. He was carrying a paper bag so she figured they had caught him on his way back from a store. "Yeah, I needed a car so I thought that was a good choice."

"Indeed."

He let them in and walked into the kitchen to unload his groceries while the slayers sat down on the couch. "How was patrol last night?"

"It was fine," Faith said easily. "Nothing much to report. Nothing strange or anything."

Giles looked over at the pair, specifically at Buffy. "Buffy, any trouble?"

"I'm probably a little rusty," Buffy said as she looked at Faith then Giles. "I had a little trouble with one but I wasn't in any danger or anything."

"And the headaches?"

Buffy looked at Faith for a second, seeing her nod her head for encouragement, before focusing on Giles again as he walked back into the room and sat down in a chair next to them. "That's kind of what we wanted to talk to you about."

The question caught Giles slightly off guard because he didn't want Buffy to relapse and have her condition worsen again. He didn't think he would be able to find a cure for that if it happened. "Are they worse?"

"No," Buffy answered quickly. "Since I've been around Faith there hasn't been any sharp pain or spikes where I want to pass out. Usually it's just a dull throb and this morning when we were eating breakfast I noticed that I didn't notice it."

"So you had forgotten about it entirely?"

Buffy nodded and Faith spoke up. "Any thoughts on this, Giles? Could I have something to do with this since I was part of the problem to begin with?"

"Don't say it like that," Buffy said quietly as she looked into Faith's eyes. "I believe that this wasn't your fault."

Giles observed the pair for a few seconds before speaking. The fact that they had insinuated that they hadn't been apart since last night did not get past him. "Both of you know that I've been having a hard time finding a large amount of information on the spell. Remember that Buffy is the only one I know of to survive it."

"But the whole part of the spell was that she would be tormented by pain and memories of having love that she didn't have outside of the spell," Faith said. "The people you read that killed themselves: were they able to fix what they were dealing with?"

"You mean since you're here after we broke the spell Buffy has the opportunity to act on the happiness she felt in the spell?"

Faith looked at Buffy, who shrugged, then back at their watcher. "Uh, sure."

"So let's say the person before me who had this spell cast on them lost the love of their life when the spell was broken and was tormented by it because maybe that person wasn't around when the spell was broken," Buffy started. "Faith was the love of my life in the spell but once it was broken she was still here. Maybe the fact that I can be around her is the key."

"I'll see what I can find out but I don't feel we should expect much," Giles said. "The Mayor likely picked this spell because it was so rare. I'm sure he knew we would find a way to break it but he also was probably aware that information about it would be scarce."

"So we might be out of luck in finding out the reason behind my head not being so hurty?"

"I'm afraid not but that doesn't mean I won't try to find something." Giles observed the pair for a moment, noticing that they were closer than normal and Faith looked to be slightly protective. "It would be fascinating to know if simply Faith's presence would be part of a cure."

Faith looked at Buffy and gave her a slight smile. She knew that if Giles could prove that she was the one that was able to cure Buffy it would probably be one of the happiest days of her life.

"So how was it?"

Buffy was only partially paying attention to Willow as they sat on the couch in the living room. She was still thinking about what happened with Faith when she drove her home, or what didn't happen anyway. She was so sure that Faith would lean in and kiss her. Everything about how the other slayer had been looking at her had told her as much but it hadn't happened.

She had no idea why it didn't happen.

"Sorry, what?"

"Buffy, are you okay? Do you have a headache?"

Buffy finally shook the thoughts away and turned her attention back to her best friend. "Nothing major. It seems like they're slowly going away."

Willow smiled. "That's good. I was asking you how last night's patrol went."

"It was fine. We hit a few cemeteries, staked some vamps, it was your standard patrol. Nothing major."

"How was Faith?"

Buffy looked at her best friend and tried to gage how exactly she should answer. She didn't like that Willow was still so hostile toward the other slayer. "Faith kept a close watch on me and made sure that I didn't get into any trouble."

"Really?" Willow asked, not quite believing the response. She didn't trust Faith with Buffy no matter what both Buffy and Giles said. She hadn't forgotten that she'd hurt them before. "I still don't know how you can trust her."

"Because she has feelings for me, Will," Buffy said simply. "That's how I know I can trust her and that's how I know she will protect me when we go out on patrol. She's protective to a fault, really."

Willow's mouth hung open for a second before she could respond to what her friend said. "Faith has feelings for you? Are you sure, Buffy? I mean, Faith says a lot of things that may or may not be true. She could have just said that because it's what you want to hear."

Buffy raised an eyebrow at the response and knew she had to set Willow right quickly. She knew that Faith would be a part of her life now, had accepted it, so everyone needed to get on board. "I think we need to get a couple things straight. First, having Faith admit she has feelings for me wasn't exactly something I wanted though I'm definitely okay with it now."

"Okay," Willow said slowly, "what's the other thing?"

"Everything you thought about Faith when she first came to Sunnydale and betrayed us by going to the Mayor? Let it all go. The spell changed Faith, too. There are certain things that I notice about her that I didn't the first time around."

"Like the fact she has feelings for you?"

Buffy paused. "I think it's more than that. I think Faith's in love with me."

"Are . . . are you sure?" Willow wasn't exactly sure how to react at the revelation. She didn't know how to act around Faith since the spell given that Giles and Buffy were on her side and now Faith was in love with Buffy. It was almost too much to process. "I mean . . . really?"

Buffy nodded. "The way she looks at me now is the same way as what's in my fake memories. There are times when she looks at me, really looks at me, and it's like I'm the only one she sees. It's like she can see everything about me and loves me no matter what."

Willow looked down for a minute before looking back at Buffy. "This is a lot to consider. I want to believe that Faith is the person you think she is but I'm not there yet."

Neither of them said anything for a minute and Buffy was slightly uncomfortable with what seemed to be a little standoff. She knew that it would be hard to convince Willow to give Faith a second chance. That might not ever happen but she would like all of them to be in the same room without fighting. She hoped for the same when it came to the rest of her friends but Buffy thought starting with her best friend was a good start.

"Will you at least try?"

"I can try," Willow said after another pause, "but I can't promise anything. And you know you're probably going to have the same conversation with Xander."

"I know," Buffy agreed. "But I want to see where this thing with Faith goes. Maybe what I'm feeling is just as real as Faith's."

"You mean . . ."

"I'm in love with her, too."