A knock on the door had me shoot up like I'd been shocked in the ass. I looked around frantically; forgetting where I was entirely for a moment due to my PTSD from my apartment in the World of the Living. While that in itself was irrational because they never knocked, it didn't stop the emotion or the fear that got me.
Movement next to me had my head snap down to look—the sleepy King of my world rising next to me reluctantly. He set a calming hand on my shoulder; doing his best in his tired state to cool me down from my frantic behavior.
The knocking continued in the same rhythmic pattern. He leaned into me to give me a quick kiss on the cheek for the first greeting of the morning, then rose entirely to answer it. I watched his bare back as he made his way to his wardrobe; the muscular tone of his smooth, yet scarred skin entrancing me as it usually did—the urge to feel it on my fingertips a terrible itch that needed to be scratched.
He threw on some warm clothes, and trekked his way to the front door in time for another verse of knocking to sound. I laid back against his firm, yet comfortable white-sheeted pillows and re-tucked myself in. I didn't want to get up and deal with anything; the best thing in the World was laying in his bed with him by my side—why would I want to do anything else? Why when I could have him hold me and keep me warm, talk sweetly to me, make me feel—
"You're acting like a love-sick puppy." Musei no Koe rudely interrupted.
My close-eyed face dead-panned. "I can't let some feminine qualities slip every once in a while to distract myself?"
"I wouldn't quite label them as feminine qualities; more as what I've said—a love-sick puppy waiting to be pet,"
Whatever. She didn't get it. She hasn't been there to really understand why—I decided to just bypass her condescending judgement.
"Can I help you?"
"The Shinwa needs sustenance—get up, and get ready to go." She said with a serious tone.
The fact that The Shinwa needed a sacrifice already made that little bit of a normal mood dissipate almost instantly. It depressed me that there wasn't a choice in the matter—the damn flower had to get what it wanted whether anyone liked it or not. Although all my body wanted to do was just sleep so that my mind could recuperate a bit longer, again it was all for not.
I rose up to my dismay, and started making my way to the spare room I kept my shihakushou in. Right before I opened the door to exit Toushirou's room, he beat me to opening it—nearly scaring half to death.
"Nankai is here to see you." He began.
"Oh," I responded in remembrance of the odd happening with her from yesterday. I hadn't told Toushirou what happened since the rest of the day was pretty much complete shit—I honestly just didn't want to deal with it right now.
"Musei no Koe told me that The Shinwa needs tending immediately—what is she here for?" I prompted.
"She said it was just a quick visit to make sure your stitches aren't still in. Abarai informed the other Taichou of what went down yesterday, so Kotetsu sent Miyuki to make sure nothing is awry—while I know that everything has been removed and healed, did you want her to take a quick look at you?"
Curiosity was getting the better of me, and I wanted to know exactly what she meant by that tid-bit of a comment, but I couldn't ignore Musei no Koe's warning. We agreed that whatever she says goes for the time being, and as much as it somewhat agitated me, I knew it was for the best.
"No, I'm fine. I'd rather get this taken care of before we do anything else. If she pitches a fit, tell her to come back in a few hours." I told him.
"Sounds good," he confirmed before returning back to the front entrance.
I went into the room to get ready; stripping from the lent yukata and shivering when the cold morning air collided with my hot skin. I looked over my naked body in the mirror for a moment; inspecting the areas of the two recent wounds that were now sealed. I fully expected them to be new editions to the gallery across my stomach, but was in pleasant surprise when they didn't leave so much as a faint scar. The stitches were completely gone—I assumed removed rather than dwelling under my skin—and I traced over the area with the tips of my fingers for some sort of unnecessary reassurance.
"Can I ask your opinion of The Shinwa?" I asked Musei no Koe.
"It can be the greatest good, or the most virulent evil; dwelling within you, the chances of the later were slim. However due to your inability to control it or me, the scale has reversed."
Well, saying that her statement didn't make me feel too great was a damn understatement.
"And so at this moment, the only thing that I can do is rely on you, along with plunging yet again into the seventh circle of Hell to satisfy it on the daily?"
"Until you can control it yourself—yes."
I finished with the corset and pants, and slid my shitagi on as my thoughts went rampant. Not even ten seconds into it, she interrupted with light amusement in her voice.
"I have a plan—you can stop with the unnecessary internal panic."
"How can I not panic though? How nerve-wracking is it—"
A knock on the bedroom door broke me from the conversation.
"May I?" Toushirou asked.
"Yeah," I groaned on accident.
The man was so quick with all this damn attire we had to wear that it made me envious. I was stuck fiddling with the damn obi like it was fucking rocket science.
"I'm ready when you are," he approached; taking the ends of the obi out of my hands and tying it like it was a walk in the park. He made sure it fit snugly, yet loose enough for my zanpakutou to be situated properly; his fingers sifting between the fabrics and—unbeknownst to him—causing the damn insects to crawl around inside me.
"Nankai will be back around noon—she was adamant about seeing you. It seemed as if it was more on a personal note than a professional one," he finished with the obi. "Looks like someone's warming up to you," he teased; taking my zanpakutou from the dresser I set her atop of and handing her to me.
"She said something weird to me yesterday—I really don't know how to feel about it," I said as I affixed Musei no Koe through my obi.
"Oh?"
"She said something that she would've only known if she remembered everything between us—look." I reached into my inner pocket, and took out the picture of the forest she gave me. "She said she knew I like and want to visit a place like this, and that she wanted to take me to see it for my first time. Since I've met her in the Seireitei we haven't even once talked about anything related to that—but we talked about it when we were still captives. I don't know what to make of it," I trailed.
"Normally, it's very rare to remember past memories from pure previous lives, but it by no means is impossible for traces of it to carry over."
"Yeah—I guess I just don't know what I'd do if she did remember everything. It's unnerving,"
He took hold of my shoulders; making my distanced gaze refocus back up to him. "And if she does, she does. You'll be able to overcome it just as you have begun to with everything else. Who knows—perhaps the two of you will have a stronger relationship than before,"
I knew he meant for it to ease me…but…
I smiled up at him, and snuck my arms to curve around him to pull myself up into a quick, gentle kiss.
"Yeah…I guess I'm just overthinking it," I upturned the corner of my lips.
He looked into me for a moment before tucking away some of my hair. "It is a part of your usual thought-process after all," he commented with an upturn of his own lips. "Here," he reached into his inner pocket and took out my wooden hairpiece.
"Thanks," I took it from him and backed out of his grasp to quickly maneuver my hair.
"I'll wait for you on the engawa,"
"Be right there," I said as I turned to the mirror to make sure I wasn't doing a terrible job.
"This Nankai woman," Musei no Koe began.
"I'd rather not—thanks." I quickly interjected.
She didn't have to make a noise or say anything for me to feel it—I just didn't want to deal with it. The era of Miyuki's dominance was over, and I intended it to permanently stay that way.
"You're about as convincing as addict's oath to not use his borrowed allotment on narcotics,"
"You can hear my thoughts—can't you?"
"Is that an actual question?"
Fucking Kami.
-x-x-
"Here should be adequate." Musei no Koe—in current control of my body—said as she landed out of a flash-step.
Toushirou landed behind me, and followed after my zanpakutou as she moved me forward and deeper into the forest. We were in the Rukongai—the district unknown to me—past most of the civilization and at the base of a far-off mountain. She hadn't said it, but it was almost like she'd been here before; it most certainly wasn't the area of the tragic event with Mai—thank Kami—but it seemed somewhat familiar in an odd way.
Without warning, she leapt up onto a tree branch and scanned the area. Toushirou leapt up as well to an adjacent branch of another tree; leaning against the trunk of the tree with his arms crossed.
"Good, stay there," she told him.
She closed my eyes; taking a deep breath as she did, and drew her zanpakutou form from its scabbard.
"Howl," she whispered.
Instantly we went into Shikai, and at that moment she rose our reiatsu; the feeling of it making me tremble internally at the control. Now that I'd tried to control it myself during the battle two days ago with Koizumi Fumiko, I realized just how hard it was to actually control. I'd been naïve—granted I knew I was in way over my head, but I didn't think I was that much over. Feeling her use it like this left me in awe; I knew that it wasn't the extent of what it could be, but how she instructed it was like a conductor at an orchestra—I was like a kami-damned ape bashing at it with a club to bend it to my will.
"Believe it or not, you weren't always as savage as you are now,"
Damn her and her ability to read my thoughts.
"With the right training, soon we'll be equals,"
She took a step back toward the trunk, and in a quick moment, I sank back into it—or rather I phased into it. When my body made contact, that familiar presence spread through me like lightening—a powerful, yet gentle force that was warm and enticing enough for me to selfishly crave dominance. My body phased entirely into it; a state of elation enveloping me as our heartbeat synched with it.
I felt movement—on all parts of me. It wasn't that same enchanting life-force we'd just merged into, but rather pulsations from a thousand other things on almost every part of me.
"Those are all the souls residing in this forest," Musei no Koe told me. "Concentrate; pay attention—do you feel the three of them?"
Three of them?
I did what she asked; I concentrated on feeling them. But what did that even mean? Three souls? What did she—
"Here,"
In an instant, I was able to envision the forest we were in—shades of gold, bronze, chartreuse, and sage depicting every single detail of what was ahead of us. The trees glistening in gold were what I focused on first before scanning around the other shades that outlined and defined the rest of the surroundings.
"We are currently connected to the life-force of this tree; by its roots, it is able to feel the world around it—every creature over the span of its roots is accounted for. With my ability to command its life force, I am able to utilize this mapping to my advantage; anything that falls within range I am able feel—some I'm able to control. Take this for instance,"
The tree Toushirou stood on to my right caught my attention as it pulsated, and glistened brighter than anything else.
"The roots of this one are within our range; since it is a like-entity, I am able to utilize it to further the mapping—do you understand?"
"I have questions, but yes. You brought us here so that you can have a range to work with. I don't understand the purpose of going to this length, however."
"Can you feel them?" She continued.
"The three pulsations? As in, three amongst the thousands I feel everywhere?"
"What do you think those are? The pulsations?" She continued.
"I'm going to go with living creatures—final answer."
"For once, you're right." She answered albeit hesitantly—I had a feeling she didn't think I'd get it.
"My guess by looking at this, is other than the gold which represents our range and points of contact, the bronze must be other souls while the greens merely are a backdrop to the area for a full picture."
I mean, the biggest give away was Toushirou—when she made the tree he was on a beacon for me, I noticed just how he looked and felt. He was that bronze color; radiating and pulsating just like everything else—his breathing and heartbeat completely catching my attention as it reverberated on my skin. Strangely, I felt closer to him than I ever had like this—maybe it was because I in a sense 'became' the tree? Kami only knows.
"We didn't 'become' the tree—you have much to learn."
"Clearly."
It was sudden, but it was like the atmosphere changed—an urgency made clear by Musei no Koe's sharp statement.
"We're out of time."
In an instant, all the pulsations aside from three stopped. Those three…it was like they pounded on my chest—completely making me breathless and light-headed from their intensity. My body moved forward and out of the tree; the three entities gravitating toward me as my translucent body regained solidity. My eyes opened at the screeches of pain—the three animals hovering toward me in complete panic. A fox, a hare, and a raven—that was on the menu.
That familiar, malevolent reiatsu belonging to The Shinwa coursed through me, and Musei no Koe tapped into it to bring the delectable souls to me. This was the first time I'd been conscious to feel The Shinwa's power within me—an unsettled, fearful, and sickeningly sweet feeling prickling at me. As they moved closer—squirming and jerking around—the more my heart dropped. I could feel their rapid heartbeats and hear their chocked breaths—Kami, I didn't want to do this…
"We have no choice," She halted the three of them in front of me, and commanded The Shinwa to execute what it wanted most.
Their necks audibly snapped all at once.
All trains of my thoughts stopped—that high-pitched ringing after a gunshot the only noise filling the void that was my mind.
My raised, open hand closed into a fist; all their bones snapping and crumbling inside them while breaking through their skins as their bodies caved in on themselves. The red liquid began oozing from them, and before gravity could seize the first drop, The Shinwa called the liquid forth—draining all of it from the corpses as if sucking the last bit of a Kami-damned soft drink.
As it circulated in a controlled sphere in front of me, Musei no Koe pulled up my left sleeve and readied the blade in my right band. In a swift motion, she ran the inside of my forearm against it—blood immediately oozing from the deep gash as my pain receptors sounded off. She turned back to frontal face before extending my arm out toward it. Immediately, she commanded it into me in a swirled river from the pool of it—the entry of the liquid into me extremely noticeable and all around uncomfortable.
Once all of it was in, she took some of the residual blood from the wound on my opposite forefinger, and brought it to my wrist to write the kanji symbol for dominance of the silent giant we stood on. With a simple motion of my right hand, a deep root of the tree we stood on rose to the surface—the earth quaking at the movement enough to scare all the remaining animals away. Once the root lifted out of the dirt just enough, Musei no Koe brought the corpses into the dirt beneath the uplifted root, and when they were secured, she returned the root to its origin. After using The Shinwa to make the landscape appear as if nothing had happened, she quickly healed my self-inflicted wound before letting The Shinwa's power slip into a shortened dormant state.
She looked to Toushirou as she dropped her Shikai—his aquamarine eyes firm, yet painted in a type of solemn that just made me feel so much worse about the entire situation.
"Each day, we will come here to provide sustenance to The Shinwa. With the trees placed here, I can easily find prey in the same fashion you witnessed. It will be clean, and time efficient if we continue this way." She told him.
"And so it is a matter of daily consumption? Is it generally three souls?" He questioned.
"Unfortunately it is. There is a cycle to The Shinwa that I have yet to truly understand the meaning behind. Akinoyo may have known it in the past, however at the moment it is still a mystery. The amount of souls the Shinwa feeds on per day varies—it could be as little as one, or as many as ten. On days it is utilized, the next is generally a minimum of three souls—hence my choices today." She explained.
"Yesterday you warned us that time is limited because of The Shinwa's wake—care to explain that a bit further?"
"Our time has shortened to one month. If Akinoyo doesn't regain her full strength and abilities sooner than that—the chances of all of you perishing become almost inevitable."
Good Kami.
"Why? What is going to happen in a month?" He pressed.
"The Shinwa continuously grows within her—becoming more powerful each day as we do. While we have maintained control over it by providing it sustenance in exchange for salvaging the lives of others and power, there are times where the miniscule daily sustenance isn't enough. While The Shinwa is active, once a month it tries to take full control over her—there's only so much we can do to stifle it." She completely faced him—a grave tone taking over her next words.
"In one month's time, it will try to take command; if no action is taken, everyone within a 10 kilometer radius will die. However, this is only the result without Akinoyo's strength paired with my own to stop it."
Toushirou's eyes flicked to where the root uplifted below in thought—the news no doubt affecting him, but not nearly as much as it affected me. Once a month, this stupid fucking thing inside me tries to kill everything? Dear Kami—just what in the fuck have you created?
"You said yesterday if you didn't feed it, the same radius would be affected—are you implying that is the result of skipping the daily sustenance?"
"I wish it were not—but that is correct. As long as we are able to provide it sustenance, then there shouldn't be any issues. The Shinwa has been completely sealed off for the last 8 years, and on this cycle for the prior 57 years—as long as tampering with it ceases as promised, we shouldn't run into any issues. The only thing standing in our way now is Akinoyo's lack of power—if we can get that under control, then all we have to worry about is the Organization rather than The Shinwa on top of the slate." Musei no Koe hopped down from the branch—Toushirou following suit. "Is there anything else you need to say before I let her take the reigns?"
"Koizumi Fumiko," Toushirou began; Musei no Koe's interest perked. "Akinoyo reacted due to what she sensed from Koizumi—a reiatsu that seemed familiar to her with implications of deleterious intent. You soon after told her Koizumi wasn't a person she would preferably keep in her presence—what is the meaning behind your words?"
Took the words right outta my mouth. I hadn't gotten around to asking her since everything blew up in my face—thank Kami he was able to ask her for me.
"Her reiatsu was similar to The Shinwa's. Based off that—and based off Akinoyo's previous hatred for all things associated with the flower—Akinoyo would have taken her life immediately."
"So you're saying that Kurotsuchi's results were correct in the similarities between Koizumi and Akinoyo? The same biological make up—two Shinwa?" he questioned.
"If not more," she answered—continuing before Toushirou could. "Is what I would assume; I have as much resource as you do to go off of. What we do know however, is that originally Akinoyo volunteered as a research subject for The Shinwa—who could say she was the only subject?"
Well…shit.
"A valid point," Toushirou stepped closer to me; clear disapproval of the situation etched in his facial expression. "I'd like to schedule a meeting today to go over all the new information, and to discuss more if there is any—would you be willing to participate?"
"I don't really have a choice in the matter at this rate. With the organization on our heels and The Shinwa active—it's only a matter or time before chaos ensues. While we had a good leverage on The Shinwa before, the tide has changed, and we're running out of time. The sooner you Shinigami are up to speed, and the sooner that she regains her strength—the better. I'll surface for your meeting, Hitsugaya; until then,"
In a blink, I was back.
My eyes immediately zeroed in on the spot where Musei no Koe had buried the three corpses, and I wordlessly moved to look over their barely noticeable grave. They didn't deserve what I had to do to them—they were innocent creatures that were selfishly sacrificed for the greater good. Their screeching replayed in my head as the heaviness of my heart plummeted further down—I feared the day that I regain control to execute them myself.
Leaves rustled in Toushirou's approach; his arms curving around me and pulling me into him—a mind reader. I reached up to his forearms over my chest; gripping them firmly to keep myself in check.
"I-I don't even have a single flower for them," I muttered just at coherence.
He nuzzled against me—the gesture in such high demand at that moment that I couldn't be more grateful—and pulled me in tightly. His reiatsu rose suddenly; the already cold atmosphere dropping noticeably at his quick action. Before I could say anything, his hands that had crossed over my chest to keep hold of me withdrew; coaxing my hands to be brought forward in front of me.
He put his hands over mine to bring them together—my fingers curled inward as my palms touched to form an empty cradle—and he placed one hand above, and one beneath my hands. My warmed hands grew cold, and I nearly jerked when I felt something forming in my hands.
"I wanted to give you this first, but it seems that it can't be helped,"
He moved his hands away and to my wrists so I could see—a flower of ice now rested in my palms.
My change in breathing from shock caused a low chuckle to rumble in his chest—a quick kiss on my cheek after he did. "Go ahead,"
He withdrew himself from me, and after another moment of letting the intricate, glass-like sculpture captivate me, I did what needed to be done. I took a knee, and placed the flower sculpture over the grave; quickly clapping together my hands in a single clap, and bowing my head in apology.
I took a deep breath with closed eyes—this was something I was going to have to get used to. I had to understand, and accept the thought as much as I didn't want to—the sooner I could, the better.
I opened my eyes and looked up at Toushirou; he extended his hand for me to take. I took it, and surfaced up to take hold of as much of him as I could.