Chapter 5

Back in this fucking courtroom. I think I'm going mad. And I'm not even in Azkaban yet! Oh god, I'm going to Azkaban aren't I… No stop! You're innocent! You haven't done anything wrong!

"Let us continue. The very next day in the late hours of the evening there was a shocking event that shook your old friends to the core Potter, do you know the incidents to which I refer?" Fuck Hermione… What happened to your hate of going out after curfew?

"Look! It's not really what you think! Honest, it sounds bad but it really isn't!"

Harry walked down the hallways excited. Luna was the best! He was glad he could count her as a friend. Apparently, someone in Ravenclaw knew the spells for removing tattoos. So Harry arragened a meeting and when the time was right he skidded down to the history corridor.

"Potter."

"Susan?" Harry asked in shock. Susan Bones knew how to remove tattoos?

"Yeah, I know. it's cause of my older brother. He gets embaracing tattoo's all the time when he's drunk." Susan said with an annoyed flair. "By the way, I'm sorry to interupt your… fun," she said with a wink. Harry blushed crimson

"I dont… what are you… I mean."

"Potter… first of all, you've been going down to and coming from the dungeons all the time. You undress him with your eyes sometimes in broad daylight… in public! Honestly, you tend to follow him like a puppy… and uh…" she coughed and pointed at him. Harry frowned then looked down.

"Oh shit! " Harry said as he realized what he was wearing. "Fuck I picked up the wrong… look okay he got called away… it was a comfort fuck." he insisted.

"Yeah, too much information." Susan said with a grimace like a smirk before she reached into her bag "Here." she said holding a slip of paper out to him. "This is what you need." Harry quickly read in and grined.

"Thanks again, Susan. you're a true friend." Susan rolled her eyes then grinned.

"So Potter… is it true you like it rough? Like with whips and chains and stuff?" the boy blushed bright crimson.

"Look okay…" he scratched the back of his head then relented a bit "Whips yes chains no."

"OH!" Susan said with a wide grin.

"SHHH!" Harry cried out in annoyance "Do you want the whole bloody school down here?"

"Fair enough… but hey Harry… tell your master I said hi." she said with a grin. Harry blushed beet red again before he reached for his hood and lifted it a portion before he remembered:

"Probably shouldn't."

"Yeah probably for the best ya know," Susan said with another cheeky grin. "Wouldn't want to give all the ghost another heart attack."

"Nice to scare Filch to death though," Harry said with a thoughtful knuckle on his lip.

"Oi! Get back to your masters bed! He's not very patient." Susan said with a grin.

"Susan!" Harry said horrified before he turned around and ran off. The Ravenclaw blond laughed at his retreating figure.

"Who woulda thought Potter a whip loving fairy." Susan muttered under her breath before she walked away.

"Now we don't know how you blackmailed that poor girl into helping you. Amelia Bones was out for your blood when she saw this account.

"Where the fuck did you even get it?"

"There was a pair of gryffedors hiding under an dissolusment charm. they overheard the conversation in an alcove." oh for fuck-

"Let me geuss. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

"The… yes actually. It was from those two…" Fuck Hermione.

"Jesus…" Ron said quietly once the pair found a quiet classroom.

"Oh god, Ron what are we going to go?"

"Since when was Harry gay?!" Ron suddenly blurted out.

"RON?! This is not the time! He's working for Voldemort for god's sake!" Hermione cried.

"Working?! God Hermione did you hear what he said?! He's Voldemort's fuck toy! Urp! Oh my god!" Ron dashed for a overturned wastebasket and emptied his stomach at the thought. Hermione patted his back with a grimace.

"I agree it's distasteful… but we have to stop him." Hermione said in a no-nonsense tone.

"We need to catch him somewhere he cant run." Ron agreed.

"Somewhere public." Hermione agreed.

"Actually… I have an idea." Ron said with a stony face. The next day the pair waited for Harry at the defense classroom door.

"Hey, guys!" Harry said with a grin.

"Harry… where were you last night?" Hermione asked with a worried not so fake front. harry grinned.

"Just had to clear up some buisness. things are finally looking up." Harry said. Thank Susan and bless her with long life one of the spells finally removed the curse he'd put on himself. He didn't need piles and piles of potion to keep pain at bay anymore! He felt alive and free again! That thought made his smiles slowly fade to a determined frown. He could do this for Severus. He clenched his left fist tightly as he coldly thought of how satisfying it would be to free Severus from that bastard. So wrapped up in his own thoughts he didn't notice the other two's exchange of slightly horrified looks. Finally, the door opened and their pasty new defense proffessor admited them.

"Please take out your wands." Professor Merrifoot said with a juxtaposed deep baritone voice. "Today we'll be duelling." Harry grinned at that. This day just kept getting better and better! He loved dueling! Merrifoot started going through the class picking partners. "Weasley and Potter. Weasley watch Potter's blocking charms, you could use improvement in that area. Finagin, remember, try not to blow anyone up. Alright… Begin!" the classroom was a flurry of spells. Harry made sure to use lots of blocking charms. Certainly, he fired spells to attack but he was an instructor at heart. After a bit, both he and Ron were slighty out of breath.

"Not bad mate. But try not to be so rigid." Harry said with a bumpb on Ron's shoulder.

"Like this?" Ron asked quietly before he flicked his wrist. Harry froze for a second then grinned.

"What? Is my hair purple now?" he lifted his arm to try and pull some hair into his face and froze. His left arm was bare and his tattoo was in open air. He slowly looked down and saw his left sleeve lying on the ground in two pieces, the victim of the seam splitting charm. He looked up at Ron, but he didn't look shocked or horrified as Harry had predicted. He looked angry. Harry barely opened his mouth to explain when Hermione arrived with two arrors.

"Oh fuck," Harry said quietly before he began to block the various curses they threw at him. Then Merrifoot fired a stunner and Harry, at last, was caught. Bound for the ministry while his classmates stared in shock at the fallen hero...

"So that brings us to your arrest… this is your account… though it is riddled with falsifications! You haven't even explained anything! When did you get the mark! What has the dark lord been instruction you to do! You have explained nothing potter!"

"Because it's not a dark mark! How long do I have to-"

"Enough! Edigrad! I say we just trial him and be done with it! There's enough evidence against him to give him Azkaban for life! Or the Dementor's Kiss! We're wasting our time! Who cares why Potter did it? What's done is done! Let/s just move on!" Let's not and say we did!

"If you just listen I can exlplain! This is all a huge misunderstanding! It's not a mark it's just a-"

"Harry James Potter you are hereby accused of being a death eater under the service of you know who, acting with the intentions to blackmail, and resisting arrest. All those opposed?" Great, no hands, what happened to my adoring public?! "And those in favor of life in Azkaban?" Huh… less hands then I thought their be "And those in favor of the Dementor's Kiss?" FUCK! "Harry James Potter, you are hereby scentenced to recive the-"

"WAIT!" Is that… Percy?

"What is the meaning of this? I demand to know what is going on."

"The warrant just came through. Albus Dumbledore gave us permission as Harry Potter's legal guardian to use verectiserum." Murmurs! Murmurs are good! Hey if Dumbledore gets me out of this I might just kiss him! ill also snog Severus… a lot… everywhere.

"Alright alright! We'll use the serum to confirm our evidence. Proceed ." ugh! severus you didn't warn me about how dry it left your mouth after drinking it straight… my tougne feels like sandpaper…

"Harry James Potter, are you a death eater?" Finally some justice.

"No."

"What?!"

"No that can't be possible!"

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Perhaps I rephrased the question. Are you working under the designs of the Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, He Who Shall Not Be Named, Tom Riddle or v… vo… Voldemort." Really… whispering… gods Hermione was right, this is dumb.

"No."

"Then what is that one your bloody arm!" Finally!

"It's a tattoo, sir. Of two snakes." Wow… they look pissed… ha! Now you know how it feels.

"You mean this whole thing was over a bloody tattoo?! Why do you even have a tattoo?!"…

Well shit.

"For my lover." Oh great… this is gonna end well.

"Who is your lover?"

…

Fuck.

The End

A/N: Damn… that took way to long… see my profile for an explination for this sudden boost of content i'm sure you've all noticed...

So here it is. The fifth and final chapter of this crazy wild ride! Sadly I'm taking a break from humor after this. It's not my forte after all. I prefer romance and family adventure.

Varisha01: I would definitely categorize this as a NSFW... just putting that out there.

EvilAngelofHeavenandHell: I hope you like the ending. it is left open for more but it'll be in another fic with probably just as long of a name and I won't be writing it until I've got less on my plate. that's for reading. also, please don't choke. the guilt would kill me

#canadian

Anyways I'm gonna go play video games to write a fic...

It makes more sense in context ;P

-TTC