For the umpteenth time in three days she heard her beloved Thedas let out a pitiful whine. Both of them were feeling pent up and chaffing against the prison they had been placed in. Mother was an impressive warden. Three days of being stuck inside 'resting', more like torture and her slobber prone pet agreed. Hawke sighed heavily leaning her head back on the sofa in the library. Normally the fire would catch her attention, the little red tendrils dancing on the walls, but one could only observe so long until things that once encouraged comfort now induced irritation. She hadn't felt sunlight in days.

The sound of her staircase being chewed on and slowly whittled down to toothpicks had her left hand twitching practically reaching for her daggers, either that or the apparent reason she was forced into 'relaxing'. Someone, a sandy haired traitor that would not be named at the moment, had insisted to her mother that due to the slight damage done to her nerves she was prone to twitching and her fine motor skills would not be on par with what she was normally capable of. When she had offered him refuge it had been with the intent of spending as much time as possible running around, prolonged contact with Anders led to blushing and stuttering and all things female and while she enjoyed having him near, her nerves were beginning to fray.

To make it worse he seemed to be more than happy to keep her company but he hadn't looked her in the eye for three days. The conversation was nice but polite, it almost felt like a level of their friendship had disappeared and that upset her more than anything else. See this was why she needed to be doing things, not thinking, thinking lead to remembering and that lead to shame. She had to stop throwing herself at him or she'd loose what little of the real him she had seen. He was right the other night back in Darktown, this had been a bad idea. At least Varric had not seen what happened and no one would hear the tale of just how pathetic she had the potential of being.

The scratching of a quill meeting parchment had her gritting her teeth and a loud yowl right next to her ear was the breaking point. The damn dog was right, she had to get out of here. "I'm going for a walk."

Suspicion was not well hidden in the brown orbs that swiveled towards her, but never meeting her own. There might have been a few escape attempts on her behalf. It didn't help that Thedas knew her too well and had rushed to her side tail wagging, happiness oozing from the animal."I suppose you deserve a short walk around Hightown, just don't push yourself too hard, alright?"

The concern was the first she had spied of her Anders in days. A tentative smirk lifted her lips. "Don't worry, besides I won't be alone."

As she left the estate Anders let his quill fall, trying and failing to hold back a sigh. The past three days had been so horribly awkward. He knew his behavior was partly the cause of her melancholy, but all he could see when he looked at her was... By the Maker when she told him she loved him, he could think of nothing else. Three days of chit chat and scrolls upon scrolls of nonsense he had scratched out while enduring all that her presence induced. Three days of weighing and judging, even though he knew it was pointless. There was no way to predict the future. Even if they managed to survive Kirkwall and she, by some miracle, forgave him for his solution to the whole Chantry situation, his Calling and Justice had surely cut years from his life.

'You are repeating your thoughts, this is ineffecient.'

'Your powers of observation are astounding, Justice.' The spirit stirred at Anders ire. It made sense the indecision would irritate him, part of being Justice held little to no tolerance for hesitation. Anders could feel his strain under his skin, he chuckled darkly, as if it was his own. 'Do forgive me, not all of us are omnipotent.'

'Do not patronize me mortal, I have given leave to spend more time with her and yet you hesitate because of your fears. You will not hide the true nature of your thoughts from me, I will not say I am comfortable with the notion of experiencing a coupling, it is not something I was meant to feel. However, it seems resisting distraction has begun to drive you mad. We are of no use to anyone, much less mages, in this state. Sate your needs or leave but there is no middle road. There mortal, the choice you refuse to face. Make your decision.'

/

Sweet Andraste! The sounds and smells of the Hightown market were ever so welcome compared to the muted environment she had been subjected to. It felt like the first deep breath she took in days. Thedas was running delighted circles around her, barking madly, the animal's joy was infectious. An affectionate grin spread across her lips despite the disapproving titters from the more reserved citizens of Hightown. She spotted a tuft of white hair moving sleekly through the crowd, headed to the far side of Hightown. Desperate for a friendly face Siri called out to the elf, "Fenris!"

He stopped turning towards her, the grump always had a frown on his face. "Hawke, aren't you supposed to be resting with that abomination tending to your every need?"

Maker she would never be free of that man. "Not you too, I've only just escaped. Surely you wouldn't be cruel enough to return me to my prison of resting so soon? Besides, I despise holding still and I get the sneaking suspicion you can sympathize with that."

He looked pained as a smirk lit up his face, almost as if emotions that were not dark and angsty made him physically uncomfortable. "I suppose they can wonder where you are for a bit longer. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you went to Sundermount. I was looking into something."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with the sister our dearly departed Hadrianna mentioned, would it?"

Fenris did his best to not look surprised focusing his displeasure at her keen instincts. "On second thought, I might just call your mother." His one interaction with Hawke's mother had been quite abrasive, her doting nature more than smothering. All he could recall was a whirlwind of 'you don't eat enough' and 'do come by if you need anything', concepts that had long ago become foreign to him.

Her scandalized look amused him far more than Hawke knew. "You wouldn't dare!"

"You know better than to doubt my threats, Hawke." She was indeed a beautiful woman, but the worry and stress in her gaze was not something he approved of. Siri was truly a paragon that stood for what she thought was right and she had been good to him, he owed her. "Speaking of threats, Varric has intimated of cards and free ale this evening. Perhaps you can convince your jailers to let you out?"

"That sounds simply fantastic! I've been cooped up for days."

"Does rest mean bouncing about with your dog?" Leandra's sharp tone cut into the conversation.

Only familial devotion saved her mother from the mounting ire and irritation. She loved her mother and knew the woman only had her best interests at heart but the thought of returning home right now made Siri consider bolting for it. "Mother I am not a child."

"No you are, however, my child. It worries me when you run around so and worse you usually come back injured! Can you truly blame me for wanting to see you get better? I know this chafes dear, but you must rest." Leandra shifted her purchases to the other hip and Hawke, out of habit, reached out and took the packages.

"One must rest the body, but true healing stems from the soul. Perhaps a night, amongst heavily armed friends, at the Hanged Man will improve her disposition?" Fenris mumbled, staring rather pointedly at the ground. He had always been uncomfortable around her mother, although she had little trouble understanding why. She was a little shocked he spoke at all, but his words encouraged her. Good, he was starting to move on from his time in Tevinter.

Leandra nodded, "That is true. Well, at least I can make sure you are well fed before you go."

"In that case, I need to speak with Isabela. Pardon me." And with that the elf departed, leaving Leandra and her daughter alone. They fell into step together headed back towards the estate. "Siri, I wanted to ask you about something... More specifically your healer."

Siri didn't bother hiding her groan, "Mum, we really don't need to discuss this."

"You obviously care about him, why wouldn't I want to pry?" Leandra huffed.

"Believe me, there's nothing to tell."

"That's why I spoke... Are you sure you want to tie yourself to him? He's a troubled man, one with plans for the future that might not bode well with many people, and to top it off we are in Kirkwall, there couldn't be a worse place for mages. I admire his determination and his cause, but as your mother I find it harder to approve of him. The life he would bring is not what I want for you."

"Well, the man's refused me more times then I'd like to admit, so you've no need to be concerned."

Leandra kept the rest of her thoughts to herself, but his resistance to her daughter was the only reason she was sure the man loved Siri. Saw the same look in that young man's eyes that her beloved had held as he pushed her away, saying she deserved better than an apostate. Maker help her, Siri was too much like herself.

/

Warm smells greeted the Rivaini as she pushed open the door to Hawke's estate. Fenris had stopped by earlier and detailed this little jailbreak of his. She could just imagine how Hawke was dealing with the mothering. Admittedly, half the reason she agreed to the ridiculous proposal that Hawke needed protection was so she could drop by for dinner. Leandra's cooking was legendary.

Siri sat at the left side of the table with Anders to her right both were nibbling on their dinner. "Looking forward to an evening away from your prison?"

"Don't say that like you had nothing to do with it, I told you to gloss things over not give her a bloody breakdown of the facts." Oh how adorable, she was trying to be irritated. Poor kitten, that man could piss on her shoes and she'd thank him for shining them. "The amusing fact has to be that the most stubborn man I know and the only woman who ever came near besting me are both being bull rushed by one woman." Bela quipped, taking her serving from Leandra. "Best cook in the Free Marches."

"What do you mean nearly besting you?!"

"I am not stubborn!"

"Well, it doesn't have the same ring as best cook in Fereldan, but it's good to know that my talents are appreciated. Isabela if you sit on the table rather than in a chair I will have Thedas slobber all over that plate I just handed you." Leandra stated, without facing Bela.

Anders and Hawke shared a smile as the pirate who had been preparing to sit on the table plopped herself in a chair. "Weren't you saying something about being bull rushed?" He was so handsome when he thought he was being quippy.

"Shut it."

Siri snorted into her cup.

"He doesn't need any help from your silver tongue," Isabela practically sneered over her bowl. "Or so he claims."

"And on that lovely note I'm getting my daggers, then we can go." Siri rose from the table and exited the room.

"Daggers?! Siri you said this would be safe!" Leandra tore after her daughter all motherly concern.

"Are you having fun pirate?" Anders growled. "Your speech on Sundermount wasn't enough?"

"I only get rightfully upset once a year. That leaves me with innuendo and sarcasm, I'm working with what's made available to me. No need to get uppity. I'll lay off, besides for tonight I just want to see her smile, she never has been one to hold still well." Bela stated gathering up the dishes. Quick fingers did a weapons check and she was good to go.

Anders stood walking into the foyer, from the sounds of it Hawke was in no mood to be coddled, not anymore at least. It was strange to look at her in the mindset that he could have her, to feel anticipation without the strain of 'look but don't touch'. If you had told him last week that he would be plotting to get her alone, that Justice would be encouraging this, his first impulse would be to check said persons temperature. Her little braids whipped to the side when she went to answer her mother and the fire of irritation in her gaze only served to remind him of a different fire he had seen shortly after he had tasted her on his lips. He would give coin he didn't have to know if she remembered that.

When her gaze finally landed on him, for the first time in three days, he didn't hide his eyes or the glimmer of arousal them. He wanted her to see it. Finally, three years of tension and three years of waiting were going to be over.

Siri stumbled when Anders held her gaze and felt ridiculously warm under his scrutiny. Right, more thought power into putting one foot in front of the other.

"Mother, for the tenth time, I will be fine. You've seen the trouble I've managed to get into before, I doubt a night at the Hanged Man will be what brings me down." She marched rather determinedly towards the foyer, retrieving her coat from a small wooden protrusion on the wall.

Anders grabbed his staff, his amusement only increasing as Leandra hovered rather effectively. Probably due to the older woman barraging her daughter with questions and the corner Leandra had her backed into Hawke was having trouble pulling her coat on. Her right arm was caught at an incredibly awkward angle. He stepped over, pulling the fabric taught so that her arm could slip through without further issue. Maker she smelled good and she was actually having to lean on him due to space limitations, her weight felt right. "I'll make sure she comes home safe, Leandra. You need not worry."

It felt far too natural to let him support her, and the feathers were tickling her nose. Wait... Why hadn't he moved away? Siri felt like pinching herself when his hands wrapped around her waist. Hopefully they couldn't see her shiver, was he intentionally breathing in her ear? Anders had to know that was driving her up the wall. Maker help her, she would take anything he'd give. He was most definitely touching skin, on her, for longer than a period of seconds. Hawke's brain seized a little as the rules of reality realigned themselves. Damn just a finger stroking her hip and she was really really sure she would fall if he let go. She should be irritated that something that simple could leave her this hot and bothered, perhaps it was more the the implications that prolonged touching led to that had her palms sweating.

"Are we ready to depart?" Fenris voice cut through the moment.

"See we brought the cleaving happy elf with the big sword! No reason to worry Leandra, dear." Isabela cooed, slipping past the trio towards the now open door.

Anders stepped towards the door and Siri moved with him, fitting like a glove. She had no idea where the sudden contact was coming from but damned if she wasn't going to enjoy it. As they crossed the doorway and fresh night air filled her lungs, she wrangled with the flush that wanted to make itself very known. She had to be distracted because next moment, and at a notably lower tone than his normal timbre, "I'm not crowding you, am I?"

Exactly when had he gotten that close to her ear?! "I don't mind."

Anders smiled pulling the rogue flush against his side, sliding his arm up to her shoulders. "You know," he leaned in closer. "Justice has insisted that I take the night off. Tonight should be interesting."

"Has he now? Well that's good to know."

It did wonders for his pride, the tremor in her voice.