Wasteland – chapter 2

Warnings: This chapter gets a bit more graphic injury-wise, and some might find it disturbing, but it's for the sake of the Hurt/Comfort… No H/C can have comfort without some hurt first, right? lol

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Zero ran so fast he was practically a blur as he made his way to the large communal tent where he'd been told that his soldiers had taken the enemy king to.

It was a credit to his men that they recognized him as he passed them by, rather than panicking at seeing someone moving so fast and possibly thinking it was an enemy. But they were all used to their leader, and while it had originally disturbed them that he was a vampire, they owed him too many victories and worshipped him too much by now to even think of what he was, most of the time.
Most of them just conveniently ignored the issue, openly loathing vampires but not considering their commander one of them. After all, he was just as open in his hatred for the enemy race, so they didn't have to worry about double loyalties or offending him.

And yet, loathing for the enemy or not, the hunter armies were also quick to admit that vampires were very pleasing to the eye, and were not above putting those charms to a better use whenever they could put their hands on prisoners after the battle. It was as if all their rage and fear for the enemy race turned to a lustful desire to inflict pain and humiliation once the vampires became fettered prisoners at their mercy rather than dangerous predators. Payback for all those long years where the hunters had feared them and stood guard through long sleepless nights… they would give the bloodsuckers all that fear back tenfold.

Zero knew better than anyone his soldiers' tendencies, as he had been strongly against them and long tried to dissuade them from raping the prisoners as soon as a battle was over. But even the authority of the most worshipped commander could only go so far among soldiers drunk on victory and thirsty for revenge, and he knew well that the rapes would go on as soon as he had his back turned.
Over the years, he'd grown more and more bitter, more and more harsh as the war and what felt like a void in his soul led him to stop caring so much, and to realize that if he couldn't stop them, he may as well be more permissive so that when he truly meant to order them off, they would actually obey rather than wait for him to look away as they might otherwise. A commander must know not to give orders that might push his men to disobey him.

But he'd seen the aftermaths of groups of soldiers teaming up on vampire prisoners, and he knew what a horrible sight it could be. More than a few times, he'd personally finished off what was left of the prisoner, with a merciful bullet to the head.

But not even the knowledge of what to expect and the horrible scenes he'd witnessed before could prepare him for the sight he had when he flipped open the flap of the tent and rushed in.

Kaname…

It wasn't so much the sight of a prisoner who'd visibly been tortured and passed around by a number of soldiers that was the most disturbing. It was the fact that it was… him.

Zero was unprepared for the wave of repressed feelings that tore through his chest as he laid eyes on that face he hadn't seen in years. If he hadn't been so hardened by the years of war and emptiness, he might have shed tears right on the spot.
But perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that he was now harder and more level-headed, as it also made him more decisive and quick to display the necessary authority.

Zero broke the group off instantly, barking orders and shoving aside the surprised –and semi-naked— soldiers crowding around Kaname. Most of them had visibly been waiting to take over while cheering on the ones currently having their turn with the king. One of the soldiers, a large burly fellow with a red beard, had been raping the pureblood, while another man had a painfully firm grip on the vampire's hair, holding his head at the right level while pumping himself with his other hand, visibly intent on climaxing over the fallen king's face. The hunters took no risks, making sure to drug their prisoners so that they wouldn't be able to fight back with their natural abilities, but even with that, one didn't lightly take the risk to invade a pureblood's mouth, for obvious reasons – if their saliva got into a human's bloodstream, it would be the end, they would inevitably turn.

Kaname's eyes were closed, his lips parted unresponsively, and it wasn't quite clear whether he was conscious or not. His whole body was a mess of welts and bruises, marred all over by blood and fluids, sticky from being used by the troops for several hours, probably uninterruptedly ever since the early afternoon.

The pureblood's wrists were tightly bound together by barbed wire, digging into the skin that was already raw from being tied, and attached firmly to the arm of a heavy-looking ornate chair with sculpted feet. With a flash of understanding, Zero suddenly realized it wasn't a mere chair -- as an additional insult, the soldiers had taken the royal throne from the ruins of the castle and brought it here. Kaname was raped tied to his very throne.

There had been jewels decorating part of the throne, but most had been pried off by greedy soldiers, leaving only empty spots to witness the defiling of the vampire monarchy and its last king.

Zero was terribly unbalanced at the moment, and feared greatly that he might do or say the wrong thing in front of his soldiers. He'd lived so long in an empty void of ashes and nothingness that he felt like he was nearly drowning under the current onslaught of sensations and feelings he had at the sight of Kaname. The pureblood's familiar scent flooded Zero's senses like water to a plant that had been close to withering away – regardless of the fact that Kaname's scent was barely perceivable due to how much he'd been abused and soiled by the countless men who had used him for the past several hours. The scent was still present through his blood, highly fragrant to Zero's vampire senses, and of that there was quite an amount spilled, on Kaname's skin, on the throne, even on the ground. The soldiers had visibly not held back the slightest, either because he was a pureblood and they assumed he would last long enough, or because being the vampire king, he was the very embodiment of the race the hunters hated above all else.

The men were startled by Zero's sudden arrival, but none would dare disobey their commander, and the group that had been apparently waiting for their turn quickly parted to let him pass.
Upon hearing Zero's orders to back off, the man who was holding Kaname by his hair had a vague look of 'can't I finish first?' on his face for a second, but the withering glare Zero shot him made him quickly lose the impertinent look, and give an embarrassed little salute before letting go of the pureblood and stepping back. The man who had been at Kaname's rear also looked like he was doing a quick mental calculation, and much as he'd have liked to stay, he realized well that the commander was not in a mood for disobedience. Holding back a sigh of frustration, the man pulled out and released the bruising grip he had on Kaname's hips, letting the pureblood fall in an undignified heap, his head lolling against the side of the throne as his body sagged on the ground, no longer supported by anyone but still tied by his wrists to the throne.

Zero glanced at the circle of hunters around him, ordering them quickly. "Out! All of you. I have something to ask the prisoner."

It was certainly a strange choice of a moment to question a prisoner, but Lord Kiryuu was Lord Kiryuu, and no one in that tent was fool enough to challenge him, so the naked ones grabbed their respective garments and they all exited quickly, more or less grumbling about the interruption and about having to wait in the cold outside, but none spoke directly against their commander.

Zero waited until they were all gone and he could sense that they had indeed obeyed and weren't trying to listen in or anything. By now, they knew better than try something foolish like that on him, and he could feel them walking away from the tent, talking to each other in a disappointed tone as they congregated around the nearby fires to warm themselves with the heat of fire and ale.

Zero crouched by the pureblood and surveyed the damage. Kaname was trembling involuntarily, his body racked by tiny little spasms. Zero touched his shoulder tentatively, and the pureblood flinched, not recognizing his touch at first.

At least he's conscious…

Ignoring the mess of blood and semen all over Kaname, Zero removed the barbed wire, uncoiling it from around the throne handle and then from the pureblood's wrists as carefully as he could to avoid doing further damage as he pulled out the prongs that were embedded in his skin. Unsupported, Kaname slid further down towards the ground, but Zero controlled the fall, laying him down on his back while holding his head gently. The pureblood's delicate face retained its striking beauty even marred by the numerous bruises and the caked blood that ran from his eyes, nose and corners of the mouth, as well as from a split brow and a number of smaller cuts and lacerations, visibly gotten as he was hit.

"Kaname…"

At the sound of Zero's voice saying his name, Kaname's eyelids shot open, and he had a look of shocked disbelief. He let out a small little choked noise that sounded more like a sound of pain than anything coherent, before he had to squeeze his eyes shut again, moisture from unshed tears making them burn too much to stay open.
He'd apparently not noticed until now that Zero was present, perhaps because he was too out of it while he was still being raped. Now that he actually realized, it came as quite a shock.

Zero was about to say something, but went silent as he noticed that Kaname's split lips quivered for a moment and parted as he tried to speak.

The pureblood's voice came out so weakened and broken that Zero nearly didn't recognize it. The hunter felt an additional pang in his chest at how terribly different to was from the compelling and in control voice he remembered. But it was what Kaname said that puzzled him even more.

"… I… I though you wouldn't come…"

"What…?" Zero didn't understand what the pureblood was talking about, and pulled him closer carefully, still supporting his head as Kaname visibly didn't have the strength to do so himself. As it was, it looked like the pureblood was putting whatever reserves he still had left all into mustering the force to talk more.

His voice breaking every so often, speech interrupted and slurred, Kaname spilled out what he'd been carrying on his heart for much too long now.

"I waited… so long. So many… years. I endured, hoping you'd return… and even as the war approached the end, I kept on going, knowing there was only doom at the end, but still forcing myself to stay on that path, because I knew this was the only way for you to find me… I've been waiting for you all this time… when it all ended, and they said I was for you, I… it just felt so unbelievable and bizarre. Something too perfect to be true… And then, you… gave me to them instead… But I didn't mind… I didn't mind at all… I just hoped that if I went through it all… then maybe… maybe you'd think I'd suffered enough for you to look at me at least once before the end… I… I tried so hard to atone, but I'm not very good… Will you ever forgive me, Zero…?"

He opened his eyes just enough to see Zero, almost not daring to fully take in the sight of the hunter.

He wasn't even sure the hunter was really there and wasn't an illusion, a wishful phantasm of his tortured imagination. And truth to be said, much as he had desperately needed to ask that one question, he was at a point where he no longer had any hopes that Zero would truly forgive him. Or that he would ever forgive himself, even if the hunter did do it.
He'd waited much too long, fading hope dying away with each hour spent walking in the tall corridors of the royal castle, listening to his own steps echoing emptily on the cathedral-height ceilings, each instant passing slowly and as tangibly as sand in an hourglass. Each instant of misery as he waited for someone who never came.

Much as he despaired for the inevitable doom of the ones who had appointed him their leader –regardless that he had not desired the title-- he had felt a hidden hope for himself as the war neared its end, thinking that maybe he would get to see Zero again, at least once.

The hunter had never come, but Kaname didn't mind anymore that he would be a prisoner when he finally saw Zero.

But even then, Zero had refused him, had he not? Then it must be that his fate was long sealed, and he had been nothing but a fool clinging to an illusory hope. If Zero wanted his destruction, then so be it. He would suffer, no longer out of a true hope to have any chance of atoning and being forgiven, but merely because the way he saw it, Zero wanted him to suffer this, so he would submit himself to the torture and even to the more unspeakable horrors, and accept it all willingly. Because that blind obedience was the very last thing he had left to offer Zero, even if the hunter might never even know, might never deign to come and look down on him one last time, before or after Kaname's death.

All his life, Kaname had been a passionate person, one who loved wholeheartedly. Much like his heart and soul had belonged entirely to Yuuki –and shattered with her death – he also had long felt he belonged to Zero, and had poured the full force of that broken heart's love into the memory of the hunter, as he desperately waited for him to return, losing more hope with each day that passed.
He could have left everything behind and chased after him instead, but the way Zero left… Kaname felt that Zero would never forgive him if he went after him, and so he did the only thing he could, and waited, accepting the title of king merely because he felt it was the place where it would be easiest for the hunter to find him if he ever decided to return.

But life was not always made of perfect intentions and understanding, and while Kaname withered away in despair and loneliness, waiting for a forgiveness he desperately needed, Zero thought him dead, and lived in emptiness and silence, blaming himself for having blamed Kaname, hating himself for having let his loved ones die, believing wrong reports and misinformed tales.

Zero's heart, which had been locked away under so many chains and walls that he felt he could never open it again, was now breaking free, the dam that held for much too long finally shattering, tears rolling off his eyes under the overwhelming feeling of love and utter guilt that flooded his body. He hugged the pureblood to his chest in a near painful hold, burying his face against Kaname's shoulder while he sobbed.

Kaname was puzzled, not understanding why Zero was crying, and fearing that perhaps it was proof that it was indeed all an illusion. Zero had no reason to cry, had he…?
In Kaname's eyes, it was already unbelievable that Zero would be here, looking at him, much less holding him gently as he was doing. Wearily forcing his eyes to stay open despite how close to losing conscience he still was, Kaname raised a hand to caress Zero's hair reassuringly, then saw the blood and grime on his hand and decided not to touch the hunter after all. Mustn't soil him…

"Zero… don't cry… I have no regrets…"

"Kaname?"

Zero looked up for a second, trying to understand what the other meant. Kaname continued, his voice more and more on the verge of breaking as he fought to remain conscious.

"I'd go through it all again… all over again, no matter how many times it took… just to have you hold me like this… Dying in your arms is not so bad a fate, Zero."

Kaname smiled beautifully at Zero, but the hunter could only stare at him in silence, thick tears rolling down his cheeks and falling heavily onto the pureblood's chest. It wasn't that Zero didn't want to speak, it was merely that the emotion was such that he couldn't find his voice anymore.

Kaname's head lolled to the side weakly, coming to rest against the hunter's upper arm, as his eyes closed softly and his consciousness faded away slowly without that radiant smile ever leaving his lips.

Zero cradled the pureblood's head to his chest gently, murmuring softly "Incorrigible… you were always incorrigible…"

All that Zero could do to hold onto reality was focus with all his will on the barely perceptible thrum of the blood in Kaname's veins, indicating that his heart was still beating. A human may have thought him dead, but Zero's vampire senses told him that Kaname still lived, and that was the most unbelievable luck that an otherwise cruel fate had ever thrown on Zero's path, so he clung onto his unconscious lover with all his might, sobbing softly into Kaname's hair while he cradled him as if he was the most fragile and precious thing in the entire world.

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[tbc…]

It almost turned into a deathfic! XD;;; lol
But there is still hope... ;D

If you're wondering why Kaname is so devoted to Zero in the fic, keep in mind the following things:
He's supposed to love Zero in this fic, and we know how Kaname normally behaves towards his loved one: completely surrendering himself to them, indulging their every whim, doing anything they'd want etc... He's canonically a very self-sacrificing person.
We see how utterly devoted he is to Yuuki in the manga, so we can imagine it would be similar with Zero if he loved him. :)
Spoilery, skip if you didn't read the manga yet:
For a concrete example, we know that in the manga, Kaname endured 10 years of agonizing loneliness and carrying the weight of everything all by himself just to give Yuuki a choice. Imagine how he would feel/behave in an AU setting where on top of his normal extreme devotion to his loved one, he also felt terrible guilt for something in the past that shattered his heart and that his surviving loved one blamed him for. (As we saw that Zero had done in the fic before leaving, even if Zero later regretted it and realized how wrong he had been.)
So yeah, that's it. :)

And if you prefer to picture Kaname differently, whether because you prefer him seme rather than uke or something, you can always imagine instead that he's softer because it's AU...*lol*