Wasteland – chapter 3

Warnings: Angst and limey flavors going back and forth!! *_*/

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The fragrant vapors of the scented bath filled the air with a pleasant warmth that was comforting without being heavy or stifling.

Kaname blinked softly, drifting in and out of consciousness a few times before he seemed to finally remain awake for long enough to try and find out where he was now. His whole body felt numb, no longer just from the results of the repeated pain and abuse but from how relaxed he was, the deliciously warm water soothing his aching muscles and raw skin. The pain was still there, inevitable after all he went through, but he was gently propped inside a bathtub and had visibly been scrubbed clean and washed thoroughly, most likely in a different water as this one was clean of filth and wonderfully scented with rose salts.
It was an elegant metal bathtub, comfortably curved inside and with one edge higher than the other to serve as a headrest. It was set in the center of an ornately furnished tent, on a ground covered with countless rugs, not far from a brazier where a fire burn brightly making the air as warm and pleasant as was the water of the bath.

Despite the comfortable setting that beckoned him to drift back into a much needed sleep, Kaname panicked at first, not seeing Zero anywhere near and thinking he'd either dreamed meeting him, or that the hunter had left him again. Kaname had gone through too much to think coherently and make any proper attempt of using what he could currently access of his power to sense where Zero was.

Luckily, the hunter walked back into Kaname's field of vision right about then, having felt the pureblood's consciousness stirring. He was no longer wearing his coat, and Kaname couldn't help but notice that the casual pair of pants and shirt Zero wore accentuated beautifully his lean body. His sleeves were folded, revealing his forearms, and he was carrying a plush towel of a soft peachy color that seemed to match the overall feel and look of the lush interior of the tent they were currently in.
The place wasn't anywhere as dauntingly large as the soldier's communal tent had been, but it was countless times cozier, even if some of the decoration was a tidbit overdone – animal pelts over the furniture? Most definitely soft and warm, but a little overboard perhaps, even for hunters, no?

Kaname remembered now the things he'd barely registered during the time he spent drifting back and forth at the very edge of consciousness. He remembered Zero holding him by the throne, then picking him up gently after composing himself, and carrying him out in his arms, declaring to the hunters that he had changed his mind after all and would 'keep the prisoner for himself' as was the original plan.

There had been countless grumbling and disappointed looks, but no one spoke against their leader, especially not to complain about him keeping what was due to him by rank and valor according to their traditions. The soldiers who missed their chance to have a go at Kaname simply glared at their fellow hunters who had more luck and had had their turn with the king before the commander came to get him, and who were now bragging about their luck in not having been on duty during the afternoon.

Kaname had blanked out a few times while Zero carried him, exhaustion and shock winning even over pureblood stamina – a lesser man wouldn't have survived the ordeal at all, and it was already an impressive testimony to Kaname's strength that he'd been conscious when Zero found him— but he woke up a few times, and remembered fuzzily hearing Zero call out for one of his officers and talk to him about a tent exchange, before Kaname passed out again, only waking up much later in the bathtub, where he was currently soaking.

Zero looked at him with eyes so filled with warmth that Kaname felt his heart swell in his chest to the point that it couldn't possibly contain it. Tears burned in his eyes, and he could only do his very best to try not to spill them while he tried to overcome the huge lump he felt in his throat, that was preventing him from speaking. At long last, he finally managed to voice out "why…?"

Why are you here? Why are you being so gentle? Is this a dream? It will hurt so much more when reality returns full blast.
He'd grown too used to living in hopelessness, and was afraid of hoping again and getting hurt as badly as he did in the past.

The tears spilled down freely at last, and Kaname almost felt wrong for letting them fall into such a perfectly clean water, which he realized now must have been poured by Zero.

Zero... Who was still smiling warmly, and at whom Kaname was inevitably staring, tears rolling freely down his cheeks, unable to say anything more to the hunter.

Zero raised a hand gently and wiped a tear off Kaname's cheek in a soft caress of his thumb.

"Shh, don't cry anymore, my love, it's okay now…"

It felt so weird to see Kaname in front of him like that, and to call him "my love" so freely and without hesitation. It awed Zero, who had so long believed he had no more heart, and yet who now felt that very same heart throbbing and overflowing with the need to be gentle to the pureblood and make up for all the horror he'd gone through.

Not out of misplaced duty, not even out of guilt for having caused so much of that pain. Out of love.

Zero was amazed to find himself strangely at peace with his feelings now –apart from the guilt-- as if having Kaname here and now at his reach strangely made it all okay and gave his heart a balance he could not remember having ever really had before. Rather than dwelling in what should have been or whether or not this feeling was 'right', Zero could finally only think of protecting Kaname, comforting him and fixing all that he screwed up in the past.

Not to make up for past failures, but in hopes of building a future ahead, one in which hopefully the two would be okay.

It was a far jump, built on dangerous assumptions of a relationship that might not even exactly fully exist at this point, but the look of utter awe in Kaname's eyes told Zero that it was possible, and that as long as the two of them wanted it, they could make whatever future they wanted.

Kaname's face was still sporting a puzzled expression of awed disbelief, and unable to hold any longer, Zero reached closer, cupping Kaname's cheek gently and pressing their lips together in a remarkably gentle kiss, before whispering "I'll never leave you alone again."

Kaname buried his face against Zero's shoulder and let out a choked sob in disbelief.

Reaching into the water, Zero slid an arm beneath the pureblood's knees and another around his back, and lifted him out. Kaname gasped in surprise at first, but couldn't help burying his face in the crook of Zero's neck and melting into his embrace. If this is just an illusion, then so be it. He would cling to it with the determination of utter despair, and enjoy it as long as it lasted. Shivering softly in Zero's arms, Kaname clung to him while the hunter carried him to a bed, in a different 'room' in the tent, a subdivision separated from the main area by an extra flap of the thick canvassy fabric that made up the interior walls for extra insulation from the cold.

The furnishings in the room were as ornate as the rest of the place, and another brazier sat in a corner of it, embers glowing lazily inside it, ensuring that none of the outside cold disturbed the people inside, regardless of the biting frost of the winter that was currently sweeping through the camp outside.

Around the same time elsewhere, Zero's right-hand officer was donning a third thick coat and cursing the horribly cold winter while walking circles rubbing his own arms.
He didn't mind switching tents, and was glad to be of help for his friend and commander, to whom he was flawlessly loyal… but in the exchange he'd inherited Zero's utterly spartan tent and was currently freezing in it while Zero and Kaname were quite cozy in the lieutenant's luxurious tent… Zero had never felt a need for fancy interiors, but he realized his own tent was far from comfortable, and wanted to give Kaname a more pleasant place to spend the night. So for once Zero had found an use for his lieutenant's taste for overdone interiors after all...

Zero placed Kaname on the bed carefully, laying the pureblood down on a second towel he had set there in preparation, and using the one that was draped over his arm to begin gently drying him.

Kaname let him do it in silence, still a bit too shaken and too exhausted to do much without taking the risk of passing out –and he desperately wanted to stay awake and bask in this moment as long as he could.
But when Zero dried certain parts of him that were still much too painful, Kaname recoiled slightly, pulling his legs together and covering his lips with a hand in a late attempt to silence the soft whimper he'd let out. His other hand found its way to Zero's wrist, stopping him as their eyes met and Kaname couldn't help but ask "…is this all… actually real?"

Kaname's breath caught in his throat when Zero leaned in and captured his lips in another kiss, this one more sensual than the chaste one given when Kaname was in the bathtub. The kiss deepened as Zero sat down on the bed, leaning over Kaname, and the pureblood slid his arms around the hunter's waist as if he was afraid Zero would fade away like a dream if he didn't cling to him.

"Kaname…"

The hunter trailed his lips down the pureblood's jaw line and then onto his neck, kissing the sensitive area with the utmost care, and earning a delicious shudder from his lover.

Zero was finally sure of his feelings.

He'd long hesitated, even back when the two were together but also in love with Yuuki. His hesitation, coupled with his hatred for vampires and the terrible unbalance he'd found himself in back then had caused them years of wasted time, and a world of pain to the two of them, especially Kaname.

The most recent pain he was still suffering from was directly caused by Zero, and it being accidental didn't change the fact that the hunter would take a while to forgive himself, if he ever really did.

Zero realized well how much anguish he'd caused Kaname and himself because he wasn't sure of his own feelings. He didn't want to ever dwell on the past and lose track of the present again. Seeing Kaname humiliated by the soldiers had triggered a powerful protectiveness in him that was still surging through his body full force right now, finding an outlet in each gentle caress Zero's fingers ran down the pureblood's side as he leaned over him.

Forget the past doubts and uncertainties. He wasn't about to waste this second chance that life had so unexpectedly put in front of them. He'd lingered long enough in the past, trying to fool himself into believing he could live without this pureblood. He would never again let the past or his own doubts ever part him from Kaname. He'd lost him once, nearly lost him forever if he hadn't arrived on time. He would never make the same mistake again.

At the present moment, that all-encompassing urge was translating itself into an irrepressible desire to hold and comfort Kaname, to shower him with gentle caresses and to watch him shudder beautifully as he'd been doing when Zero's fingers brushed his skin.
On a larger scale, Zero realized that it meant a lot would be changing in his life as well. In the back of his mind, secondary to the current need to lavish attention on Kaname, gears were already turning to figure out what he'd have to do; he planned to resign from his rank among the hunter troops the very next day. The war was over anyway. The hunters hoped he'd stay, but they no longer needed him to survive. He would hand his command over to his lieutenant, -- who may have strange taste for furnishings, but who would make a solid and just leader, and he would leave the matter of reorganizing the world and fixing the differences between their races to the politicians and the pacifists, who'd been already working hard at that cause long before the war ever started.

Before, Zero had been ready to accept whatever position the hunters asked him to take over after the war, merely because his life was like a boat without a rudder. But now, he had a purpose and a direction.

If Kaname would still have him, he wanted nothing more than leave everything behind and take the pureblood far away, where they may both finally live at peace and no longer have to worry about this world's disputes and whatever it may otherwise drag them into if they stayed.

The question was, would Kaname still want him?

The pureblood had been ready to die because he thought his loved one would never want him... But after all he went through, would he be able to forgive him still? Would he ever feel like being with him…? Much as Zero would have liked to just keep enjoying the moment and caressing the pureblood forever and ever, he feared that he might be delaying the question he feared, and making assumptions that, contrary to his past habits, may for once be too optimistic…

He forced himself to let go for a moment and to search the pureblood's eyes questioningly.

"Kaname… Are you just letting me touch you for the sake of the past or… or… I…" I fear I've done too much for you to forgive me.

But Kaname knew what Zero was going to ask before the hunter even ordered his mind enough to voice the words aloud, and he raised a gentle hand to caress Zero's hair, wrapping an arm and then the other around the hunter's neck, pulling him down towards him –or more exactly, guiding him down, as he currently lacked the strength to pull Zero down if the hunter didn't follow his lead.

Kaname pressed his lips to Zero's, tentatively at first, then deepening the kiss more and more, arching up to better meet the hunter with his body as well as his lips, the latter becoming flushed from the contact made rough by the passion. Kaname ran the tip of his tongue teasingly over Zero's lips as he parted the kiss, before smiling lovingly at him and whispering "do you really need to ask? Is my answer not obvious enough in the way every inch of my body and soul yearns for you so much?"

"Kaname…"

Zero was being as careful as he could to avoid further hurting Kaname, but he leaned in further, balancing himself with his forearms on the bed on each side of Kaname's head, a leg between the pureblood's as he kissed him back passionately, sliding the tip of his tongue into Kaname's mouth finally, and feeling the pureblood shudder beautifully under him. Kaname welcomed the delicious invasion and sucked on Zero's tongue, feeling renewed tears stinging in his eyes, this time from the sheer happiness of tasting his lover again after having missed him for so long. Their tongues briefly fought for dominance as each wanted to taste the other deeply and to prolongate the moment as much as they could before finally having to briefly part for air, inevitably laughing together at how eager they were for each other.

Both were starved for contact -- not anyone's contact, only each other's touch could sate that hunger. They yearned to feel the other's touch and rediscover every inch of each other's body, which they had been denied for far too long.

But Zero was afraid of hurting Kaname in the pureblood's current state, and the hesitation showed in his overly careful caresses, and the way he was ever so afraid of resting too much of his weight on Kaname's body, until the pureblood chuckled softly and arched up to press himself against the hunter's taut stomach, letting him feel that hurt or not, he was perfectly aroused now, and terribly needy.

Kaname whispered silkily against Zero's skin, "Uhmm, Zero… If you're so worried about my injuries… then make me forget how I got them…"
There was a very clear invitation in the tone of his voice and the way Kaname raised his knees up higher on each side of Zero's hips, that left no doubts on how exactly the pureblood wanted Zero to make him forget... and yet, unwittingly, a hint of fear briefly slipped its way into his seductive voice.
Their eyes met quickly, Zero's gaze showing how surprised he was by the pureblood's words, before anxiously searching Kaname's face for any hints of sarcasm or reprobation. But there were none at all. To Zero's renewed surprise, he could no find no blame whatsoever in Kaname's passionate eyes, regardless of how much the hunter blamed himself.

There was only sultry desire in Kaname's gaze, and… Zero caught also another glint of that deeply hidden fear, which Kaname was trying his very best to harness and not let it escape and take over him completely. But it was so very close to the edge…

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[tbc]

Talk about one-shot ran out of control. XD;; It has currently four chapters.
I was going to go on tweaking more, but I'm falling asleep on my keyboard, so I'll just post it finally. XD;