Chapter 6. Hidden meanings
Three more roommates followed in the days after the Chambers girl announced that one of the dorm building was rat infested. There was a Holly, a Molly and a Peg. Holly lasted all of three days, when she said she could not stand to be in a room with someone who stared as much as Sarah did. Molly lasted two days, her excuse for leaving was that Sarah was too restless a sleeper and she was getting no rest. Then there was Peg, who lasted more than two weeks.
Peg Morrissey was nearly as big as "large" Marge, and twice as unpleasantly malicious. Her situation was well known to all the girls in the school. Peg came from a violent background, and had an evil tempter. She'd announced to Sarah upon becoming her roommate that she didn't like doll princesses. She'd warned Sarah to keep to herself or else. Sarah wondered if she should be issuing the same kind of insulting warnings, but had no real desire to, nor did she care what was about to befall Peg. Peg was territorial, that was more than evident, but she was also a thief. She'd seen a locket that Sarah wore, and coveted it. When Sarah was out of the room she opened the drawer in the dresser Sarah used, and took the locket out and placed it in her pocket. When she moved to the door it would not budge, and she began to hear strange growling noises.
When the monitor called for the emergency services, he explained that he had not seen anything except the girl seemingly go into a panic attack over a stuck door. He never mentioned the pilfered locket until he spoke to the Doctor. The locket that had been taken by Peg, and pocketed turned up on the floor of the little dorm room. Sarah was questioned about the incident, however as she had not been in the room, was found blameless. Peg was taken to the hospital where she babbled on and on about shadows and sounds and odors that filled the room until she was gagging. She confessed to having stolen the locket and having tossed it at what was attacking her. When asked if she could describe this mystery assailant, she shook her head. Had it not been for the marks on her hands and arms, the staff at the hospital would have thought it was all in her head. Peg's things were removed from the room, and an exterminator was brought in. He found no signs of any kind of rodent and suggested that Peg must have scratched her own hands up. The girl however after being released from the hospital, and once settled in a new room, spread the tale of her encounter. She began to blame Sarah, and warned everyone off signing up to room with the Williams girl.
Sarah was brought into Doctor Daniels office for a discussion. He asked her if she'd any idea of what had happened. Quietly Sarah suggested that perhaps poor Peg was a bit unbalanced. Daniels found little humor in the statement and warned Sarah he was watching her closely. He was sure she was behind all the problems with the room mates. Sarah rose to her feet moved to the door and told him in a breezy tone, "This interview is over." Daniels sat with his mouth open as she exited. He picked up his phone, pressed in a number and spoke lowly. "Up the prescription on the Williams girl, I want to see what more does to her…"
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Andrew got out of his car and looked up and down the quiet street. He still felt like he was being followed, but if he had been it was through no fault of his own. He walked unhurriedly to the dinner, moving toward the back of the establishment next to the kitchen doors. He took a seat opposite the man already sitting in the booth. "Robert," he greeted the man as calmly as he could.
"Andy," the man greeted him back as he lifted a mug of steaming coffee to his lips. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me."
"I hope you know what we're doing," Andrew motioned the waitress over for a mug of coffee for himself. "Ever since I got fired from the school district things have been so weird."
Robert Williams had a worried look on his face. "It's not going to get any better either." He warned softly.
Andrew had guilt written on his handsome young features. "If I'd known for one moment that St. Ambrose had changed, I'd never have suggested it for Sarah." He groaned sipping his coffee.
Robert kept his eye on the door, looking for strangers or anyone who seemed out of place. "Our cover is you want me to take care of some legal matters for you," He passed legal forms to the other to read.
"Listen, I'm not sure how long before get disturbed. There's some scuttlebutt about this Daniels in the medical circles." Andrew said as he pretended to look over the papers. "A friend intimated that Daniels was behind my being fired."
"Why does he want Sarah?" Robert pretended to be pointing out something on the papers to the younger man, who was nodding. He kept looking to the door, "I just don't understand it."
"I hear that there's some study being conducted up at the clinic… sleep and dream depravations and how it effects the morale of a person." Andrew shuddered. "I just wanted to help, Robert… I never meant…"
Strangers walked in and Robert saw their eyes scouring the place looking for them. "I think you'll be pleased with this trust fund set up." He said aloud. "It's the safest way to protect your assets." He handed a pen to the younger man.
"I do appreciate this, Mr. Williams," Andrew signed the paper and shook hands with the lawyer. "I'd best be on my way, I've got to get back to the office."
Robert stood up and said his good byes; taking a seat again he called the waitress over and asked for more coffee. His eyes kept track of the strangers. One followed Andrew out, and two stayed keeping him under surveillance. Robert put the papers back into his briefcase, and sipped his coffee unrushed. He left a good tip for the girl who'd waited on him and exited the dinner half an hour later.
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Sarah stood looking out her window as the last leaf dislodged and descended from the old gnarly oak that was within her view. No tree grew too close to the dorms; it was as if all efforts to isolate the students who lived here had been taken. If one tried to pry open one of the windows they soon discovered that the windows were stationary, and inoperable. The only think lacking was bars, but Sarah knew a prison when she saw one.
She'd been in the school for close to three months now, from the end of August to today, November the twenty forth. She knew it was a Tuesday, and that most of the students who were allowed to would be going home for the Thanksgiving Holiday. It was no surprise when she'd been called into the Head Mistresses office to find Doctor Daniels waiting for her. His face had looked on the verge of a smile as he delivered the 'bad' news that she was not going home. He had expected her to pitch a fit by the look of expectation on his face. Just one more thing he could use against her. She'd been prepared for this, and disappointed him bitterly.
"I understand," she said and exited without waiting to be dismissed.
"Young lady, I was not finished." Daniels called after her as she moved down the hall.
Looking over her shoulder Sarah glared at the man, "I was." She walked unhurriedly down the hall to the stairs wondering where is new brazen bravado had sprouted from.
Now she stood in her room, watching family cars drive up, and other students escaping from this reform school from hell. She leaned on the glass no longer concerned if she was being watched by a hidden camera she wasn't supposed to know was there. Part of her was glad she wasn't going home. Not that she didn't miss her family, or hunger for the familiar surroundings. Not that she didn't miss her own space and freedom, no she missed that; nevertheless she was glad she didn't have to worry about Toby being safe around her. She had awakened one morning this past week to find she'd flung out her arm in her dreamless sleep and smashed the table lamp. Her deepest concerns were now the safety of her family. Every chance she had was spent in the library doing research on this aliment, now she'd started keeping a private log.
When the last car had pulled away from the circular drive, taking the lucky ones away, Sarah took her sweater from the hook in the closet and headed toward the dinning hall. There were fewer than twenty students in the great hall this evening. Just the hard cases, cases like Sarah, Lilith and Bryn. They met her at the door and moved as one solid unit toward the line for what was being served up as dinner. Tonight it felt as if there were more monitors than students in the hall.
Lilith chose the table, one in a corner that was only big enough for four to eat at. No one dared join them, and they had the table to themselves. Bryn picked at her food, detesting the goo that was supposed to be mashed potatoes, the vegetables were not much better and the meat was indigestible by her standard. Lilith also picked at her food.
"Sarah, eat," Lilith coaxed lightly, not wishing to be overheard by the monitors.
Forcing herself to lift the fork to her lips she closed her eyes and shoved the tasteless substance in her open mouth. Fighting the urge to gag, she chewed slowly and forced herself to swallow. Her stomach revolted and threatened to regurgitate the vile mouthful of what ever it was she'd shoved in. Sarah used every bit of control she had to keep her diner down.
Lilith began a light conversation. "I hear they are planning an outing for the junior class," she said pretending to enjoy her meal.
"Really," Bryn looked at her with mild interest not wishing to appear too happy at the prospect of escaping for a few hours.
Lilith nodded, "I hear we're being bussed over to the University for a Lecture."
Sarah went over in her mind how many students were actually in the junior class here. She knew most of the girls who were, and looked at Lilith. "They are going to bus all sixty of us?"
Lilith nodded, "I hear they are trying to get some of us interested in applying to the college for credit classes when we become seniors." She smiled, and said in a quiet under breath so hushed that it was barely audible; "Ours is not the only school going either, it will be easy to get lost in the crowds for a short time."
Sarah felt her heart race; could she really have a short respite of freedom?
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Robert looked at the dinning table, and frowned at the missing place setting. He looked at Karen whose own face was showing worry and distress. "The table looks nice, honey." He said softly trying to be encouraging and supportive. Karen nodded, but didn't speak. They had planned on a quiet family celebration this year. No extended family, just the nucleus, just the four of them. The call from Doctor Daniels had put that plan to rest. Sarah was not going to be allowed to leave as she was according to Daniels involved in an incident under investigation.
Toby sat in the dark room that had been his sister's. He was too quiet for a normal three year old. Karen often found him in the girl's room, sitting in the center of the floor staring at the window with Sarah's old bear tucked up under his arm. She found him there just before dinner on Thanksgiving. He sat with his eyes hunting for something out the window, something he could not voice. Closer and closer he clutched the bear, as his little face became more and more serious.
"Toby," Karen called his name softly, almost as if she were fearful of disturbing the little waif. He looked at his mother for a moment then turned back to the window. Karen moved into the room feeling like an interloper. "What are you looking for, baby?" She asked in a whisper more to herself as she'd not expected the child to answer.
"Birdie…" the boy pointed to the tall French styled windows.
Karen moved toward the window to look for the elusive bird her son was looking for when she noticed the car on the street and the man sitting in the driver's seat with binoculars watching their house. "Dear God," she groaned. "Toby, stay away from the windows." She warned as she went to the hall and called out. "Robert, honey could you come here?" The quiet tone of urgency in her voice alerted the lawyer that something was amiss. Entering the room he looked at her, at the boy of the floor and the window she was pointing to. "Toby is looking for a birdie," she said and pointed to the ground rather than the sky.
Looking out the widow, and pointing up he asked. "Here?" While his eyes moved down to the car keeping surveillance. Moving back from the window he frowned and motioned his wife to pick up the boy and leave the room. "I'm hungry, let's have that dinner." He said quietly. In the hall Karen gave him a quizzical look, begging for answers of which he had none. He motioned her to the dinning room, where he put the music on and then spoke to her in a quiet undertone. "Karen, I'll get to the bottom of this, I promise."
"Bring Sarah home, Robert." She begged. "This is wrong, and you know it."
"I know," he agreed as she began to carve the bird on the table.
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The Girls at St. Ambrose had not roasted turkey. They did not have cranberry sauce, no sweet potatoes casserole, nor did they have much hope. All twenty girls were gathered in the dinning hall of the school with the Head Mistress. Most of the staff was home with their own families. Only the monitors were in the dinning hall, even the kitchen staff was bare bones. Mrs. Browning looked down her nose at the girls left at the school. She didn't speak to them or give any indication she felt anything for them, save for contempt. The Head Mistress ate at a table by herself, glaring at the unfortunate students who had to remain at the school. Her most heated looks were directed toward Sarah and Lilith, with Bryn catching to fallout of her anger.
Bryn muttered softly under her breath. "I don't know what's got her knickers in a knot." Her statement came out of the blue. "It's not like we had a choice…"
Lilith hushed the girl with long red locks, "I'm sure she feels she's got plenty of reasons."
Sarah looked around the room; 'Large' Marge was one of the girls left behind, as was Peg and a few of the other roommates that had been foisted upon Sarah. Having always been one to love puzzles, Sarah was noticing some interesting patterns. "Everyone here is some kind of hard case…" she whispered under her breath.
Lilith didn't look about, "I'm sure."
"They want something more than sleep disorders." Sarah mused. "But they have bit off more than they can chew." She looked at the Head Mistress who was staring daggers her direction. She smiled over at the woman who seemed startled and looked away quickly.
Bryn whispered softly. "What excuse did they give you for your being kept here this holiday? The excuse they gave me and the one they gave my folks was lame."
"They didn't give me a reason," Sarah said looking back at the dissatisfying dinner. "And they seemed a bit taken aback that I accepted without protestations."
"That Daniels is up to something," agreed Lilith letting her eyes wander the room. "There are no classes tomorrow… meet me in the library after breakfast." She said finishing what she could of the dinner.
Sarah pushed her tray away, and found a heavy hand clamp down on her arm. One of the monitors was glaring down at the girl. Sarah, unable to tolerate the touch recoiled. Quickly she stood up and in a dark and dangerous tone told the monitor to never touch her again. She was surprised when instead of continuing the forward attack her would be assailant recoiled in fear and backed off quite quickly.
Mrs. Browning had expected trouble, stood up with a look of triumphant victory, only to lose the look as the room didn't break into pandemonium. She glared once more at the three girls glaring back.
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Sarah was escorted back to her room by a monitor, once in the room she began to pace like a caged animal. She knew she was being watched but didn't care any more. Something kept plaguing her. Why was it, she and the others were being pushed to have outbursts, she wondered. What was it Daniels thought he was going to gain? Over and over she mulled it though her mind. Stopping she looked over her shoulder and looked at the painting of Po Li. While it was still only a dragon chasing a bird, she was beginning to wonder about the reasons the dragon was in pursuit of the bird. She looked at the bottle on her night stand, the tablets prescribed for her by Daniels. Picking up the bottle and aware she was watched, she prepared to take the medication and become ill.
Sarah entered the little bathroom, poured herself a glass of water, pretended to take the tablet and as she drank the water moved her fingers so she could stick one down her throat to stimulate the gag reflex. Up came the water, and part of her dinner. As she emptied the contents of her stomach she dropped the tablet she'd palmed into the commode as well. She washed out her mouth and changed for bed. Once she'd gotten comfortable under her blankets she laid on the bed feeling as if she'd had a little victory of her own.
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Lilith was sitting with Bryn when Sarah entered the library. Taking her seat she whispered to the girls as she slipped out of her coat, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this." She placed her books on the table and picked up a note book. Standing up she said in a voice that would carry. "I'm going to look up that reference material I need for my report."
Bryn whispered to Lilith, "I hope she knows what she's doing."
"I think she knows more than they want us to know already." Lilith murmured keeping busy. "Keep your eye on her, if she needs cover I'll do something to distract the Librarian."
Sarah moved past the usual reference sections and as she was passing the medical section something caught her eye. Something that should not have been there at all a misshapen little creature was smiling at her from the shadows and shoving a magazine her way. Sarah looked about; no one else of the few people in the library seemed to take any notice of the creature. Moving closer she knelt to pick up the medical journal from the magazine rack. The issue was a few years old, in fact it was ten years old, and the pages were worn. It was the picture on the front that now had her attention. Doctor Daniels, a much younger version, but Doctor Daniels none the less, the caption next to him spoke of his study on sleep disorders and how they could be used to control subjects. Sarah looked at the creature receding into the darkness, and as it did it seemed to have receded in her mind as well. After all she could not have just seen a Goblin, could she? She slipped the magazine into the folder she carried under her note book. Sarah looked at the rest of the rack, although the copies were all old, they all seemed to deal with Doctor Daniels.
It was a much quieter Sarah who returned to the table, and Lilith whispered to her. "What's wrong?"
"We're being used as Lab rats," Sarah replied.
Bryn looked up, and quickly alerted the girls that someone was coming toward them. "I need the map for the history assignment." All three had completed the assignment already, and Bryn knew the other two would pick up on that discrepancy.
Sarah shuffled her things under the other items on the table and handed the map book to Bryn. "You need the one on page seventy eight." She said knowing they were now developing a code all their own.
Mrs. Browning was now standing at the table, looking at them as if she were ready to accuse them of some infraction. "What are you three doing?" she demanded.
"Homework," Lilith said as if asking a question rather than answering one.
The woman pulled the map book out of Bryn's hands and looked it over, certain she was going to find something else. But as it was only a map book she found nothing. She slammed the book down on the table making a loud noise that registered and resounded throughout the room. Grumbling she stalked off.
Lilith let out a long sigh of relief, and turning to Bryn gave the red haired girl a wink. Bryn passed the wink on to Sarah who was watching the Head Mistress exit the building. "She's wound too tight." Sarah muttered.
"Talbot was much more pleasant," agreed Lilith as she began to write on a sheet of note paper. "What did you find Sarah?"
"An old medical journal with a picture of Daniels and an article on his experiments;" She looked about, "I'll show you both later."
It was past noon when the three girls packed up their books and headed out of the building. Once more they moved toward the fountain, but finding it turned off for the season they walked on. Needing to speak and unable to. Bryn took the lead and moved toward the complexes generator building. There was a constant hum coming from the building and it was hard enough to hear someone next to you. She leaned toward Sarah. "Get up close to the building."
There seemed to be one spot that was shielded from the on going din. Sarah found it and spoke quickly. "Daniels was all but drummed out of the research community. He's got this idea of using sleep deprivation as some kind of… control technique. And the meds he's been prescribing are not on the recommended list of meds for my disorder….What's he prescribing for you?"
Lilith frowned, "I think he's got me on some kind of mood altering drug… right after I take it I become restless and have trouble sleeping… not that I didn't have problems before…. But when I take it I don't feel rested…I usually don't take it…"
Bryn nodded, "I'm on stuff like that… and I noticed they are looking for me to… pick a fight…I've been watching them watch me."
"They want us to pick a fight…." Sarah agreed. "I read that Daniels first position was with the penal system… and I'll bet he wants to go back there… that's why he's turned this school into a prison. He's using us to experiment on…and I'll bet none of our folks know. Because no matter what, my father would never agree to something like this…"
Lilith nodded, "Makes sense…" She looked up the path to be sure they were still alone. "Look, if we can get through this year without him cracking us it'll take a miracle. He's got the monitors and Browning on his side. What can we do?"
"I'm not taking the meds," Sarah said darkly. "I'll learn to control my anger on my own… and as for the sleep disorder; well I'll learn to live with that as well. My anger belongs to me not some frickin' mad scientist, I'll be damned if I let him control me. "
"We need a code," Bryn said decisively; "Some word known to the three of us."
Lilith looked at Sarah and asked. "Is there anything you can think of that would be out of the ordinary?"
"No," Sarah shook her head. "You want something mundane! Something that would mean nothing to anyone," she looked at the trees on the path. "Willow!"
Lilith giggled. "Willow?"
Bryn leaned on the wall, "I think that's perfect, it's mundane and it's unique at the same time."
Lilith held her hand out and Bryn put her hand on top, Sarah let her hand hover over theirs and they seemed to understand. "Pact," Lilith said and the word was repeated by the other two girls. Lowering her hand, Lilith warned. "I think we'd better move on."
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Andrew moved quietly, not wishing to attract notice. He had gotten on one train, only to jump off at the last moment and get on another going the opposite direction. Once he was sure he's lost the man who'd been trailing him for days, he relaxed enough to take a breath. He leaned on the wall of the train watching the station diminish as he was carried away. He had made a mental promise to himself to get to the bottom of this and now he was going to. He had made phone calls from other people's phones, fearing his own lines were being tapped.
Robert was waiting for Andrew when he arrived at the station. He was driving the car of one of the other partners of his firm and looked as if he'd eaten a canary as the younger man entered the vehicle. "Andy, I've found someone who can answer our questions." He announced.
"Robert, I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in a James Bond movie… and I have to tell you," the younger man groused. "I don't like it."
Robert pulled his car out of the station lot and into the light traffic outside the little town that they had used as a meeting location. "I'm not sure you're going to like any of this." His own voice was amused and Robert wondered why. They pulled into to a parking garage in the heart of town, and drove to the top floor where they were greeted by six men standing beside a dark sedan. Parking his car along side, Robert stepped out. Andrew did the same. They approached the vehicle, and were given entry to the back seat once they had cleared the security men.
Robert looked at the elderly man seated on one side of the sedan, as he took his seat. "Doctor Danvers?" he asked as Andrew took a seat beside him.
The man nodded, "Williams?" he looked the younger man and asked; "Who is this?"
"This is Andrew Crowley, he's…concerned about my daughter as well, he is the one who suggested St. Ambrose." Robert explained quietly. "Can you help us?"
"I'm not sure." The elderly man said leaning on a silver topped waling stick. "It depends on what you want." He looked at Andrew, "I'd like to know why you suggested St. Ambrose."
Andrew nodded, willing to give what information he had if it would help the Williams' and Sarah. "I was familiar with Doctor Talbot's methods for dealing with teen anger. Sarah's condition causes some uncontrollable issues. Can you help us?"
Danvers frowned, lifting a medical file in an envelope. "Yes, I've read the reports." He turned to the father. "You understand that everything said here is off the record?" he dropped the envelope back to the seat beside him. "I have no formal authority in this case."
"Anything you can give us will help," Robert stated softly. "This is my daughter, and I can't stand back and watch her become …."
"A prisoner," the elderly man suggested softly nodding as if he already knew the man's worst fears. "I'm afraid that is exactly what she is and what you've done to her, both of you, unwittingly; but both of you have played a part in this little pantomime of terror."
Leaning on his knees Andrew asked again. "What can you tell us?"
Danvers leaned back and apprised the pair of men before him. "Daniels is not respected in most medical circles… however he has done some work that has caused a stir. He's trying to tap into the primal energies stored in the brain and regulated by sleep… that's why he got himself appointed to the head of St. Ambrose hospital." His face showed disdain and anger. "They gave him a blank check as it were, and all those poor girls to experiment on."
"I never signed anything allowing such a thing," Robert protested. "I'm a lawyer… and I read everything before I sign anything."
The elderly man looked at him unimpressed. "You think everything is in ink?"
"Fuck!" cursed Andrew loudly. "This is my fault, they can do what they want and said it's part of the course of action to help her deal with the anger issues… they can drug her and you don't have to sign a thing."
"I've looked at the medications list you sent me," Danvers stated. "I'm amazed you were able to get it."
"I had my secretary request a medications form for insurance allocations." Robert said. "Sneaky I know, but it worked."
Danvers smiled at the man, amused. "We could have used a man like you during the war." He mused as he pulled the medications list from the envelope. "Each of these drugs by them selves is fine… beneficial to some degree depending on the aliment. But in these combinations… they could be,"
"Deadly?" Robert asked thinking the worst.
"No," Danvers said sadly. "But you'd almost wish they were…. Look, the aliment your daughter is suffering from… there is no cure, and most of the poor bastards go mad…" He pointed to one of the medications. "This is for convulsion; it's one of the later stages of the disorder. Do you know if your daughter has begun convulsing?" Robert said not that he was aware of. "I didn't think so… in this dosage, it can actually cause that symptom to occur."
"Why would they want her to…" Robert shook his head, unable to get him mind around it.
"Daniels was rumored to be working on a mind control system." Danvers stated coldly. "He was said to have connections to some secret government agency… I'd hate to think that was true… He was despicable and hardly trustworthy…." The older man went on. "He was originally working on a way to help prisoners who had developed a sleeping disorder… some of his patients went mad…but before they did, they developed some frighteningly powerful senses. He said he was going to harness those senses, and that power… You see, Mr. Williams, for Daniels it is all about the power."
"He wants to turn those girls into some kind of monsters?" Andrew asked aghast.
"No, something else has already done that…. He wants to harness their raw energy and power." Danvers looked concerned. "I still have friends, some of whom have contacts… I asked about your daughter…and learned that Daniels took her off the only thing that was remotely helping, these Chinese herbs. He won't allow you or anyone else to interfere… and you enrolled her in that school…" The old man warned again. "He'll find excuses to hold her there like the prisoner she is."
Robert set his jaw, "Daniels is not the only one with government connections."
A hand moved toward the upset father. "If what I read in this report is true, it is too late to save your little girl. She'll start exhibiting violent ways, and be a danger to herself or worse, you and your family."
"I can't leave her there…" Robert complained.
"I'm afraid you must." Danvers said sounding less than compassionate. "Daniels already has her…"
Robert got the strangest glint in his eyes. "Not Sarah, she's no ordinary girl…." He smiled as if he knew a secret that even he was not aware of.
Catching some of the father's optimism, Danvers smiled as well. "I pray you're right… but just in case… limit your family's exposure to her."
"Sarah already requested that," Robert confirmed.
Surprise registered and the elderly doctor became more interested. "If this is true, then you're daughter may have a fighting chance."
"Oh she'll be fighting alright." Both of the other men said in unison.
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Sarah read the information once more, not certain her eyes had read it right the first time. "That dirty son of a bitch," she murmured to herself in the closet with the flashlight on the page. She had crawled out from her bed, slithered on the floor like a snake and pulled the closet door closed behind her to ensure her privacy. She'd made sure she'd locked her door before she went to bed, and was sure no monitor was going to enter with out authorization.
Something moved in the closet with her, something dark and small and quick. It gave off a noise that sounded exactly like a hissing snicker. Sarah turned the beam of light toward the spot but what ever it was had been faster than she, and it was gone. Sarah looked at the closet and wondered why it was it had a lived in look. Even the crakes on the wall looked more like etchings. She trained the flashlight beam on the wall, and would have sworn that the cracks made an intricate and elaborate pattern like a maze. It made her head hurt to look at it, so she lowered the beam back to the magazine in her hands. She was glad that the next day was Saturday and she could sleep in if she liked. Not that she'd get all that much rest, but she would not have to rush to get up for classes. She was aware that most of the students who'd gone home would not be back until Sunday. Finishing reading she hid the magazine and turned off the light to crawl back in the darkness to her bed.
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Lilith and Bryn were waiting for her outside her building the next morning. The three walked as one unit to the building where the students received what the school called nourishing meals. Again they sat at the little corner table, and again they were given a wide berth by the others. Sarah looked over at the monitors and began to feel pity toward them.
Lilith smiled as if all were well. "The trip to the university has been confirmed."
Sarah looked up at her, "I'm not sure how I feel about that."
"Be glad," Bryn suggested. "I hear they have a whole grove of willows."
Both Lilith and Sarah turned to look at the red haired girl who was pleased with herself. Sarah looked over at Lilith. "I'd like to see that."
"Me too…."
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Daniels went over the tapes again and again, looking for something, and seeing nothing new. "There has to be a reason," he snapped at his assistant. "That Williams girl should be climbing the walls, and clawing at everything that moves! Why is she not?"
The assistant shrugged, "I don't know… She's taking the meds, and responding to all the stimuli, but I can't explain why her responses are not more pronounced, sir."
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The weekend passed, and the lucky returned to St. Ambrose. The ones who were there already felt a bit of envy for them, but only a bit. The first week passed as did the second. Sarah feigned taking the drugs as prescribed by Daniels. Most went into the commode with Sarah tossing her cookies. However she'd begun to read up on eating disorders in young women her age and decided she'd have to find another way to get rid of the unwanted pills.
Sarah began making daily trips though the medical section of the library, with Lilith and Bryn watching her back. She'd returned the first journal and took out another and another after that. On the morning of the planned trip she knew that she was already on a short leash with her emotions. The nights seemed to be dragging on, and her mind never seemed to be getting much rest. Already sensitive to touch it was becoming a real problem now. If someone bumped her by accident she had to bite down hard on her lower lip to prevent herself from doing bodily harm to that person. She wondered if she should just refuse to go on this outing. Lilith seemed to sense her turmoil and whispered; "Willow grove." Sarah's response was to calm herself and think tranquil thoughts.
Mrs. Browning was going over to the University with the girls of the junior class. She sat in her seat in the front of the bus looking prim and proper. The girls, in their uniforms sat with quiet excitement building. Lilith led Sarah and Bryn to the back of the bus where 'Large' Marge was seated. Upon seeing Sarah, Marge got up and moved to another seat. The back bench was wide enough for four if they were tightly packed, but no one else wanted to sit with the trio. None of the other girls even talked to them, which suited them just fine. Some inner sense seemed to tell the trio not to speak of anything out of the ordinary on this journey over to the university. The girls exited the bus and lined up behind the Head Mistress who ushered them into the auditorium building where they were directed to the seats set aside for their school.
After a lecture that took half an hour longer than it should have, they were divided up in groups to see the campus. Bryn pulled both Sarah and Lilith into a group that was mostly filled with girls from another school whose uniforms were very like the ones they wore. They followed the guide out of the auditorium, and down the quad. Half way across the quad, Lilith broke away and pulled the other two with her. She pointed down a path that was clear and said; "Student Union."
Once walking quickly toward the building young men and women were entering and exiting from, Sarah asked; "How did you know that?"
"Map," Lilith said brightly. "I looked it up a week ago at the library while you were doing more medical research." She motioned the girls to sit and she moved to where a group of young people were standing about. She came back happily a few moments later. "Come on, let's go outside." She had something in her hands as they moved quickly out the door again into the brisk air. "The guy in there said that there's a place up ahead that's great for having a smoke without being bothered. There it is," she pointed to a depression in the buildings. "Come on."
It was actually a place where three buildings came together and it was out of the wind. It was also deserted, and Lilith handed her treasure to the other two; three cigarettes. While Bryn praised her up and down, Sarah stood holding the tobacco product in uncertain hands. The group Lilith had spoken to had not only supplied cigarettes but also a pack of matches. Lilith lit up quickly and passed the book of matches to Bryn, she then leaned on the building drawing the hot smoke deep into her lungs. Bryn did like wise and passed the pack of matches to Sarah who stood looking at them as if she were from another planet.
Lilith blew out the smoke and looked at her with a smile. "What are you waiting for, light up." She commanded softly.
"I don't smoke," Sarah said feeling a bit out of touch.
"Don't or never have?" Lilith asked cheerily.
"Is there a difference?" Sarah asked.
Bryn nodded, "If you've tried it and didn't like it, that's one thing…."
"I've never tired." Sarah admitted. "I've no idea of what to do… my parents don't smoke…"
"It's easy," Lilith said feeling calmer now that she had nicotine back in her system. "That end is the filter; it goes in your mouth. You light the other and draw slowly, not too fast or deep for the first time… or you'll feel like coughing up a lung." She teased lightly.
"Give it a try," Bryn said drawing slowly on the burning embers in her hand. "You'll never know if you like it if you don't."
Sarah placed the tip of the cigarette in her lips, Lilith took the book of matches and lit one and held it to the end of Sarah's cigarette. "Slow and easy," warned the girl with black hair and excited eyes.
The first drag was rough, and caused a coughing spasm, and Sarah's eyes to tear. But with the encouragement of the two other girls she tried again. The second drag was more successful, a few moments later Sarah looked at the two and whispered. "Ok, that's weird. I feel more relaxed than I have for months."
"Nicotine," Lilith shrugged. "I'll bet it counteracts the drugs they've been pumping in us." She looked at the cigarette in her hands as if it were a savior. "I miss these little buggers… I use to have a stash… but the new janitors found it and I was shit out of luck."
Sarah leaned on wall behind her. "Oh this is amazing," Both Bryn and Lilith watched silently as Sarah visibly lost some of her edge. "Where has this been all my life?" she joked lightly.
Lilith winked, "I'm sure there are many other wonderful experiences awaiting you." Her face turned serious. "We don't have a lot of time; they'll be looking for us in half an hour. What did you find out?"
"Daniels is using the Hospitals connection with the School to get his hands on cases that match his needs. Sleep disorders mostly, but a few anger management issues cases as well." Sarah said coldly. "He's using the information to give rise to a new mind controlling technique. One that will not have to depend on drugs once it's in place."
"And that bastard is using us?" Bryn frowned. "I wish I could show him what it feels like to be a lab rat…"
"Be careful what you wish for," murmured Sarah. "You never know whose listening."
Lilith paced, "We've been able to hold them off so far… but we're going to have to be careful…"
"More than careful," Sarah argued. "We are going to have to be incredibly brilliant about this. We need to make sure we don't fall prey to this horrid plan."
"Any suggestions?" Bryn asked the girl enjoying her first smoke.
"A few," Sarah smiled cryptically. Holding up the cigarette she looked at Lilith. "We need to put a stash of these in somewhere… maybe… we can get one of the smoking staff to accidently drop a few now and then…. I feel so much calmer…."
"The plan," urged Lilith.
"Oh yeah, we need to stop allowing them to control us. We need to be in charge, and that will give us the power. Do you guys meditate?" the other two shook their heads, "Well start, I read in one of the journals that when a subject meditates even the ones with disorders like mine, their anger levels go way down. From this moment on, we three are going to become model students."
"Model students," Lilith made a face and her voice dripped sarcasm. "I hate school…."
"Learning is power," Sarah countered quickly. "It's all about power Lilith… we have it, they want it…"
Bryn, seeing something more in the comment nodded her head. "She's right Lilith, if we are to take control of our power before it falls into their hands…. We need to be smarter about it… and going into the system instead of bucking it is a great cover."
Lilith snorted, laughed and placed her hand with a balled fist outright. "To the Willows,"
"To the Willows," Bryn placed her fist on the one there.
Sarah held her hand just a fraction above, as close as she dared come without actually touching; "To the Willows." She took her last drag on the cigarette, "Ok, girls let's haul buns and get back before that harridan Browning misses us."
Lilith suddenly laughed collapsing against the building. "They'll have to let us go home for Winter break!"
"Damn right," Bryn said with a wicked smile turning to Sarah. "And we'll be in control from here on out…"
Sarah looked around at the buildings as they moved back toward the auditorium. "You know, it's really not a bad place… better than Ambrose hell…"
Lilith stopped, "I get the feeling you are saying more here."
"I think I want to go here after we get released from hell," Sarah said nodding. "I'm going to have dad look into it for me…. Getting information is the first line of defense."
Bryn turned to Lilith. "We've been so busy bucking we've overlooked our own futures. Sarah's right," she looked about the quad, "I could see us going here."
Lilith's face changed as she saw something in a design over one arched door. "Perhaps," she murmured. She kept the secret of what she'd seen to herself, knowing they were now too close to the area where Browning was. She brightened up with a cheery tone. "I think going to school here would be cool." Browning came out of the auditorium and looked like she was about to screech, Lilith moved toward her quickly. "Oh Mrs. Browning, we got lost… we stopped in the little girls room and when we got out our group had moved on… do you know how big this campus is?"
Sarah had to look away, unable to keep from giggling at the precious little thing act Lilith was performing. Bryn snickered and pretended she was sneezing. The Head Mistress looked at the three and taking control of her emotions sighed. "It's time to get back on the bus, young ladies." She pointed to the bus of students already seated.
"Yes, ma'am;" They answered in unison as they marched toward the bus.
Browning looked around the campus, it was large, and her girls were new to it. They could have gotten separated from the group. She made a decision not to mention this incident to the Doctor as she took her seat. "Ladies," she said as the bus pulled away. "I do hope you all enjoyed your visit to the University, and are seriously thinking of taking the classes that will be offered to you in the coming year…"