Kaneki was pondering if he was insane, for he had gone and joined the enemy. Perhaps, he could've worked thrice as hard, perhaps he could've explained. He didn't, he walked straight to the enemies to get stronger for his friends. He didn't offer an explanation, not when he quit and not when they were so close, so warm in the biting cold of winter. He walked straight ahead and didn't glance back, clinging onto his memories for his salvation. He had to be strong, to protect them. He remembers when he thought nobody was there for him, when he thought he'd forever be in the middle. Then, he wanted to be human. Now, he has to be a Ghoul. For his time with Jason had opened his eyes, he couldn't protect the ones precious to him if he was this weak and indecisive. So he marched ahead, never waiting for his friends to catch up and never waiting for those ahead of him to slow down, they'd soon have to walk faster if they wanted to catch up to him.