This story was going to be titled the bet but you know me, I've gotta have my over-dramatic titles.
There's a little bit of Gironatsu this chapter, along with the other characters actually being present and doing stuff.
Kululu groaned as he let himself fall into his big cushy chair in his lab. Not only was falling onto the floor and just groaning in despair draining of the energy it was humiliating!
"Ugh. Every moment is hell." He rubbed his head just annoyed. He felt so cold, he shivered.
It was all Mois's fault. Asking him cute and innocent things like "Come to the store with me. I like your company." It was too damn pure. It destroyed his soul.
Stop repeating everything she said in your head. It's just making you feel like you'll explode again. She had that effect on him. It disgusted him.
I really need to re-evil. Who knows how much evil I lost by dying on the floor and making dying whale noises in distress? Sure he didn't have a device to measure evil, but he was positive that the longer Mois had been there the more he had wanted to take her up on her suggestion and be with her. That meant losing evil, and the desire to have positive company...why that was pure! He was becoming pure!
It frightened him.
Luckily, dunking himself in the secluded darkness of the lab always seemed to replenish him, and let him rest, like a vampire drinking blood. The lab was the epitome of evil, non-innocence. It was a perverse, dark place.
So drowning himself in the bad lighting and sadistic inventions and creepy cameras that surrounded him always made him feel better and more like himself. It reminded him that he was Kululu. Kululu the selfish jerk and he could shake off any of that purity.
Kululu turned on some of his video footage to watch. Unlike Keroro who would de-stress by watching bad anime, Kululu had a better method. A worse one. He called it "Giroro's funniest home videos" it was just videos of all the various tortures and pranks that he had inflicted on Giroro, running on repeat.
He sighed in content. "This is the sort of thing I really should be thinking about! Ku, ku, ku. What to do next to my favorite butt monkey." Kululu reminded himself.
Hurting others should be the first priority on his mind, or at least humiliating others. He didn't have to have his mind constantly wandering back to thoughts about a certain very cute girl.
"Tch." His mind had wandered back to Mois again. And usually Giroro was so distasteful and such an unpleasant thing to imagine that it dissuaded his mind to envision Mois's face or imagine her smiling, or think back on her leaning over him, her long slender fingers typing on his keyboard, feeling her breath on his body, being so close to her he could practically taste her…
He shivered. He was back to thinking about Mois. Calm down. Kululu tried to steadily calm himself of his fear. He was breathing faster again and his heart rate had picked up, the sign of true terror. She's not here. She can't hurt you. Can't worm herself into your mind.
...I bet you want her to worm her way into a lot of things. But mostly you just want her on you. Kululu's mind seemed to respond.
Kululu wasn't sure why his own voice was echoing him with a bad answer that was most certainly not his, but he threw his keyboard up into the air as if to show the voice that that was not true in the least bit.
He felt his face grow hotter. That was not true. He eliminated any images in his head of Mois on top of him, Mois closer to him, Mois in his arms looking up at him touching his cheek…
And he was trembling again and shaking. He held himself trying to stop his body from shaking. Relax. He told himself. He knew himself well. He didn't want those things. He just...imagined them from time to time. Especially when Mois was staring at him and close to him.
A thought struck him all of a sudden. I freaked out pretty badly today. Mois didn't notice did she? He didn't know what he would do if Mois somehow realized how intense his fear truly was.
It would be humiliating. Not only would she probably try to help him or do something stupid like support him, but perhaps she'd try to look into the psychology reasons of where this "fear" stemmed from.
Kululu wasn't quite sure himself, but he knew he definitely didn't want Mois of all people knowing. Part of him knew that whatever she would find there was bad. It would be embarrassing and just...something he didn't want her looking into at all.
But most of all he didn't want her to feel like somehow this whole situation was her fault. She was just the embodiment of his fear, and Kululu knew she'd have the tendency to blame herself, especially since he was loudly blaming her too. He knew Angol Mois well enough that she'd be sad. And I don't want any of her tears. That would be...hard to deal with. He just didn't want to see it. He didn't want to cause it.
Perhaps that was what was truly terrifying about the purity of Mois. He really didn't want to see her sad at all. That was definitely her purity seeping away slowly at him, like a mosquito draining his blood.
Don't worry. Mois's pretty oblivious. She hasn't realized that Tamama's in love with the captain. I mean...I doubt she even realizes how badly I freaked out today and how afraid I am. She probably hadn't even noticed that he had fallen to the floor when she had asked him to hang out with her.
Kululu nodded. He could have faith in Mois's oblivious nature. She was a little ignorant and blissfully unaware of her surroundings. There was no way that she had noticed the intensity of his fear yet. After all she hadn't been trying to ask him about it or tease him.
He relaxed unaware just how overly obvious his freak out sessions and fear was. Everyone including Mois could hardly avoid it. But Kululu didn't know that. And Kululu didn't want to know that.
I wonder….Kululu thought, If there's a way I can compose my fear a little better. I mean I don't freak out all the time. I can hide it some of the time it's just been getting worse lately. It was his blasted heart's fault. For some reason it had been accelerating a lot and sending his decision making capabilities into a downward spiral.
Thinking about that Kululu got his heart rate monitor and put it on his finger to try to measure it. The more he thought about Mois the more it accelerated, beeping loudly at him. He tried to get it down.
Things have been getting worse and worse though. Finger brushes, smiles...They all send my heart into a panic. Kululu cursed loudly. The heart rate monitor was going higher at the memory of Mois's smile.
He pulled it off. This wasn't doing any good. He hated just how afraid he was.
Fear is the only thing that sets off these sort of responses, these sorts of thoughts spinning around one's head. And I manage to have a pretty big batch of fear. Kululu just felt angry as he tapped his fingers against his desk trying to think about what he could do to better his life and minimize damage from this fear.
Trying to work on keeping calm and composed didn't seem to work, his body just did things his mind didn't want. It was the first time his body hadn't obeyed his mind's commands and it annoyed him. What was the point of being a genius if he couldn't control himself from petty human emotions and things like that?
"And I can't just avoid Mois. She basically lives down the hall from me!" It wasn't like he lived in an apartment, he lived under a house in an alien base, but Mois was basically his apartment mate.
The speed of his fingers tapping increased in annoyance. "I can't get rid of her either to make my life easier. Getting rid of her at work isn't an option because she's surprisingly helpful." He needed to find a solution but just ridding himself of the person who embodied his fear wasn't an option.
It was confusing but Mois's smile frightened him something fierce, however if she didn't show up to work with it he felt empty. When she was gone he couldn't get anything done, he couldn't think straight.
Do...People with other fears feel that way? Kululu wondered briefly. That without their fear around they feel empty? Maybe I just like being kept in check. Like some cat and mouse game. Maybe Giroro would feel that way if he suddenly disappeared, like his life had a little less meaning.
Kululu groaned in more annoyance. He wasn't trying to analyze other people's lifestyles or how his fear was similar to others. His fear was a lot more complex. After all he had never heard of someone with a dark soul being afraid of someone good trying to make them good. He had heard of good people being afraid of dark mean people, but that was common and obvious as to why. They didn't want the person to hurt him.
The other way around didn't make a whole lot of sense, although it seemed to make a whole lot of sense to Kululu.
Kululu just groaned some more and banged his head against his table. He just didn't know what to do.
By the next day Kululu was still stuck in a loop of thinking about Angol Mois. It was both because he was tallying up the damage that he had created from his fear and the evil opportunities he had missed because of her.
He really didn't know what to do.
I'll just power through. He eventually decided. It's no big deal. Life goes on. It's just an eensy-weensie little fear. There was no reason to over-analyze it and he honestly didn't want to.
He got up. His life had more things in it than a fear and thinking about Angol Mois. And the biggest other thing that always managed to make him feel like he had no purity and was still in fact a big jerk was hanging around Giroro.
Giroro always managed to cheer him up with whatever humiliating thing he was up to. Not only that but Giroro kept his mind off of Angol Mois. The two very rarely had anything to do with each other. Not only that but he's super pathetic. Funny to laugh at, and he's a major turn-off.
Kululu frowned at the last thought. There wasn't any 'turn-on', unless of course he was a big masochist and he got off being afraid. He honestly wasn't surprised if that was the case.
Either way it was in his best interests to deal with Giroro quickly to get himself off of this train of thought.
Kululu pressed a button and soon he had risen up to the meeting room for invasion meetings. He looked around for Giroro who he assumed would be polishing his guns.
Instead of seeing that he saw Giroro looking guilty and sitting on the ground as Keroro pointed his finger at him and yelled.
"Another invasion plan ruined! And this one's all your fault!" Keroro yelled. "I can't believe this happened again. You know I actually calculated it once-"
"When he was doing his work for himself in a rare circumstance-" Tamama added.
Keroro shot him a glare. "And you're actually the one most responsible for the failure of this invasion. It's all your fault for falling in love with a pekoponian! Have some more loyalty to your platoon! Your mission! Let us win one for once! Don't go all off guns a blazing to protect Lady Natsumi!" Keroro yelled.
Kululu sat down looking interested. Ah. I get it. Giroro has ruined yet another expensive and stupid invasion plan to protect Natsumi. Pathetic. Kululu leaned on his wrist and watched. It was truly amusing to see Giroro get so chewed out.
"I-I'm sorry. B-but...The invasion plan wouldn't have worked anyway!" Giroro tried to lie and defend.
"Shut up! I'm not done lecturing!" Keroro yelled, trying to draw attention back to himself. "The invasion plan totally would have worked-"
"Which one did he wreck this time? Ku, ku, ku." Kululu asked trying to keep posted.
"The one where we were going to make the pekoponians only hunger for eating bugs." Keroro explained. "Inspired by Natsumi making fun of me and saying I was a frog and that I probably ate flies! Well I don't eat bugs. I eat space okonomiyaki like a normal person!" Keroro defended. "We were going to use the satellite you created to make all of the pekoponian species only need to eat bugs."
Kululu nodded. He remembered that plan. "I worked pretty hard on that satellite. Don't tell me Giroro broke it? Ku, ku, ku." An evil glint shined in his glasses in pure anger.
"He did. The plan was going pretty well because the pekoponians were freaking out and in chaos over their new desire to eat bugs. But he broke the satellite because he couldn't bare to have his precious lady Natsumi in chaos!" Keroro cried.
Kululu got up, finally joining in on the scolding of Giroro. "You broke my invention? Mine? You broke another thing I made for the invasion that might have worked just because you couldn't bare to have your stupid crush eat a bug?" Kululu asked. "Why, Giroro, you truly are pathetic. Perhaps the worst in this entire platoon. Ku, ku, ku. You're the problem with this invasion."
Keroro nodded in agreement. "Kululu's right! Why can't you just let your precious Natsumi be hurt like a normal enemy! Stop bringing us lower!"
"W-well..." Giroro tried to defend his actions. "Um...Natsumi was distressed!" Was the best defense he could come up with. "She's a warrior. I can't let her be beaten in such a lowly manner. I had to honor her warrior spirit. She has to lose in an actual battle."
"Ku, ku, ku. I bet she blamed you for the whole catastrophe." Kululu frowned pointing to a bruise on Giroro and Keroro's cheek.
"Well yeah, she fought and beat up me and Keroro afterwards but...It was in a warrior's way so I'm okay with it." Giroro nodded. "If I lost like a warrior than that's just because I wasn't strong enough." He still tried to maintain his pride.
Keroro and Kululu weren't convinced. His pride was too far gone.
"Mr. Sergeant! Giroro hurt me trying to destroy the machine. He's a true traitor turning on his own platoon mates! Hug me!" Tamama demanded, trying to use his light bruising to get attention.
Keroro hugged him. "There, there. See, Giroro? That's no way to act as our platoon mate beating up the person I put to defend the satellite just so Natsumi wouldn't be harmed."
"Ku, ku, ku. Turning on your own platoon mates and my machine? Wow, Giroro. Didn't know you branded yourself a traitor of Keron." Kululu mocked.
Despite his anger though he felt himself smiling. He truly did feel better making fun of Giroro. You could say, misery really does love company? Dammit. She's back again in my head. He tried to shake off lingering thoughts about Mois.
He had to think of Giroro again. He laughed to himself lightly as he watched Giroro continued to be scolded by various platoon members.
"Your love sickness truly is pathetic." Kululu finally said, "You got yourself into this whole mess and dragged us down with you by screwing up the invasion because of your love for Natsumi. If you just shook off your disgusting feelings maybe you'd be a competent soldier, but it's too late for that. You're just a drag on us now. The most pathetic member of this platoon. A joke." Kululu's words were mocking, harsh and cruel.
But instead of feeling insulted, Giroro just felt embarrassed because they were all about his feelings for Natsumi. He blushed and turned pink and started shaking his head. "I-I'm not in love with Natsumi. I just respect her as an enemy. I really am loyal to this platoon. I didn't fall for the enemy!" He quite obviously denied.
Keroro and Tamama started laughing. "Yeah right." Keroro laughed. "You're too far gone to deny it now. It's so obvious. Everybody knows except for Natsumi herself!"
Giroro blushed.
"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed. Quickly and like lightning Kululu flipped out a photo album labeled 'Giroro blackmail'. "Sure you aren't in love with her? Because all of these pictures of you say otherwise."
Each picture of Giroro and Natsumi in the album had Natsumi doing something normal, usually mundane. But Giroro was always looking at her smiling like a lovesick dork, all of his attention was on Natsumi as if his heart was blissful. It was quite obvious in all of them how lovesick Giroro was, drooling in some of them as well.
Giroro blushed. "P-put those away!" He demanded, quickly trying to shut the album. He wasn't even doing anything that embarrassing or abnormal. He was just looking at Natsumi and that was still super lovesick.
"There's all sorts of pictures in here." Tamama realized. "Wow, Giroro really is pathetic like you said! All she's doing here is cooking and he looks like he's melting. Even I'm better than that!"
Keroro was still laughing and rolling around on the ground.
"Ku, ku, ku. You, Giroro, have truly sunk the lowest of us on Pekopon. You've changed the most from an invader and a warrior to someone just so lovesick. Pekopon truly can make you pathetic." Kululu said coldly.
"Actually…." Dororo piped up, having always been in the room but nobody noticing him, "I think I myself have changed the most on Pekopon. I mean I even changed my name! My entire identity! That's got to count for something, right? I fell in love with the beautiful planet!"
Nobody listened to him. Everybody ignored him and didn't even notice he was there. Dororo cried in a corner.
"I...I am not pathetic!" Giroro tried to deny and defend himself. "And I didn't change on Pekopon!"
"Prove it." Kululu challenged.
"I will!" Giroro took the bait and stood up. "I'll go up to Natsumi right now and challenge her to prove that I'm still a warrior. I'll show you all that I can take Natsumi on despite how attract—how much of a strong foe she is." Giroro corrected.
Giroro marched off.
"How quickly do you think he'll give up?" Tamama asked.
"My bet's on in two minutes." Keroro decided.
"Moment he sees her." Kululu offered.
Tamama nodded. He wasn't sure which one of those were correct. "How will we know what happens?"
Kululu brought up a camera. "This is connected to every room in the Hinata house. We'll be able to see what Giroro does directly."
Everybody circled around Kululu.
Giroro went right up to Natsumi, ready to insult her or challenge her. He knew he could do it.
"Heya, Giroro!" Natsumi greeted. She was smiling and humming to herself looking like she was in a great mood. "I was just looking for you!"
Just as Kululu predicted Giroro gave up. "N-natsu-Natsumi." He got out. "You're… Challenge...Umm...never mind." He couldn't break her good mood.
"I got tickets to a fan's viewing and listening of Mutsumi's radio station! Maybe without the frogs around I'll finally be able to hear my letter be read." Natsumi swooned. "I got two free tickets, and I don't know anyone who's as much of a fan as me as you are. So I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? We could hang out."
"You...You want me to go out with you? J-just the two of us?" Giroro asked. His body seemed to melt from the words.
"Yeah!" Natsumi nodded. "Will you come?"
Giroro nodded before he fell onto the ground fainting and melting into a metaphorical puddle. Natsumi...This was a date wasn't it? Or was it? Either way Natsumi had asked him! He couldn't think and he just melted onto the ground.
"Oh dear. Dead Giroro happened again." Natsumi frowned. Giroro was always fainting on her. She stepped over him and walked away. She was way too used to it. He'd probably wander off eventually. She was just glad he'd come with her.
Keroro, Tamama and Kululu just laughed and laughed as they watched the pathetic display.
Giroro eventually managed to pick himself up from the puddle of good and wander back to the platoon.
Watching Giroro humiliate himself really does make you feel so much better. The guy's a walking train wreck. Ku, ku, ku! Kululu laughed.
"I um..." Giroro tried to come up with something.
"Don't even try to lie, we saw it all." Tamama was trying to get some words out between his laughter.
"I think it's really sweet that you went to Natsumi to challenge her and got a date instead-" Nobody listened to Dororo except Giroro who just blushed.
"Ku, ku, ku! This is just hilarious! That whole mess was grade A funny! I mean it's bad enough that you went out to insult someone but somehow managed to get yourself a date instead, Mr. supposed invader and warrior." Kululu teased, "But fainting on the spot when someone asks you on a date is truly pathetic! Ku, ku, ku! I can't imagine anything worse!" Kululu mocked.
Giroro just looked at his feet truly humiliated as Kululu continued to laugh at him.
Kululu felt great. Laughing at Giroro really was a mood booster. And he really is pathetic for all of that. But then he rethought what had just come out of his mouth. He agreed that everything he had said was true, Giroro was pathetic for all of that, but….Didn't...Didn't I just faint yesterday when Mois asked me to hang out?
Kululu stopped laughing and froze as Keroro and Tamama's laughter drowned him out. His hands felt ice cold and he froze as he tried to reason through his own hypocrisy. No. It's not hypocrisy. That's not the same as Giroro. Getting dizzy from fear and having light-headiness when someone says they want to hang out with you...That's completely different. Kululu reminded himself.
He shouldn't even began to compare himself to Giroro. The condition of lovesickness wasn't even close to fear.
But...If Giroro is pathetic and has sunk low for melting around Natsumi...Does that mean I'm pathetic? Kululu wondered. He couldn't deny the statistics that he had fainted in the face of a pretty girl even more so than Giroro. He might not have had any pictures on camera of himself looking at Mois with a forlorn lovesick look, but he definitely acted more embarrassing when Mois gave him positive attention. He died in a much more extreme and dangerous way.
The platoon continued to laugh, their laughter echoing loudly around Kululu. For once though Kululu didn't join their chorus. He just stopped. He stood frozen as he continued to think about the situation. Lovesickness and fear aren't the same thing. We're different. It's not the same situation. He continued to reason to himself.
Still for some reason he couldn't find any words come out of his throat to continue to mock Giroro. He didn't want to be a giant hypocrite, and a part of him was suddenly afraid that someone would call him out on it or Mois would pop out and point it out. He didn't want to be as hypocritical as Giroro, lecturing Keroro on the invasion but ruining it himself.
I just can't help relating our situations. That's all. It's because I happen to mentally die and act all sorts of embarrassing around Mois and Giroro does the same around Natsumi. I'm just looking for answers in the wrong places. I need to stop over-analyzing. Stop thinking about it. Kululu wanted to hit his head. He needed to stop thinking about it.
He couldn't stop thinking about it. A voice in his head, probably his self-conscious tried to give him the answers he was looking for. You're the one who's sunk low here on pekopon. You're just trying to project your own anger.
Kululu shook his head and slowly walked away from the laughter and Giroro's ongoing torture, which got Giroro to tilt his head in somewhat confusion at how withdrawn Kululu seemed to suddenly become at mocking him. He wasn't going to question it though. He just counted his blessings.
No. I'm not projecting. There might be a similarity to mine and Giroro's reactions but our feelings are different. Fear is different from what Giroro experiences. I am afraid and Giroro...Well Giroro has a crush. A crush was very different than being afraid.
Mois was his biggest fear. He didn't have anything resembling a crush on her.
Giroro wants Natsumi to be his. Kululu reminded himself. He wants to kiss her. He wants to do primarily romantic things with her. He tried to let his steady rising panic wane, make those weird worms in his stomach vanish because those were different desires than his desires for Mois.
Don't...Don't you want the same with Mois though? Don't you also envision kissing her at times? There was that blasted voice again, telling him the terrible truth that Kululu definitely didn't want to hear.
"No." Kululu said out loud. "I don't. T-those...Those are visions of terror. Similar to imagining your own death."
Isn't having her heart and being hers completely, purity in a way? Isn't that what you're afraid of? Don't I have this ongoing desire to be kind to her and love her and all that? That desire was the fear. He was afraid of having that desire.
Kululu hurriedly rushed back to his lab and slammed the door shut so he could curl up in a little ball and try to steady his breathing. He didn't like what his mind was coming up with.
Don't you also have a crush? His mind finally seemed to ask him. It was a straying thought, but Kululu hated it.
He jolted up and seemed to stare forward at nothing, or what he seemed to imagine as his enemy, his self-conscious. The biggest enemy to Kululu was Kululu. The only one worthy of destroying him and could.
"Put that analysis back in the private box of thoughts that I'm never supposed to touch or think about. Just lock it up and never think of it again." He demanded, pale as a ghost. There was a hint of begging in his voice. He was begging himself.
He hugged his knees knowing why he didn't want to even consider something like that, or look into the possibility that that might be the quite obvious case behind his fear. He didn't want to have to confront those thoughts or think about it emotionally.
He hurriedly tried to put that dumb logic that he had come up with back into a hidden box in his mind of things he wasn't supposed to think about. There's no reason to think about things like that. No reason to put any labels on bigger reasons behind my fear. Because nothing will ever come of having a crush on Mois.
She wasn't his enemy like Natsumi was towards Giroro, but Kululu still knew if there was the off chance that he did have feelings for her, or developed feelings that it would not work out and that she'd be sickeningly kind about rejecting him, but it would still be that, a rejection. Nothing good would come out of thinking about having a crush on Mois.
He would only have bad pining or some crap like that. There was no reason to confront his feelings or tackle them. She's 100% in love with Keroro. It's like every other word that she says 'Uncle this, Uncle that.' It's gross but it really wouldn't go anywhere if you did have a crush on her.
So there was no reason to try to look into the fact he might have a crush on Mois, because nothing would come of it except probable pain and mental injury and languish.
But I don't have a crush on her. Kululu reassured and reminded himself. The more he repeated those words the more he believed it.
There was no crush on Mois. Just a very bad fear. Giroro and I don't have one thing in common after all. Giroro tries to protect Natsumi and puts her feelings and well being over all other people. She's better than the other pekoponians and the other keronians and the invasion. He gives her special privileges. Kululu reminded. Giroro was very biased.
Although Kululu knew Mois was better than everybody else, that was just fact and not out of bias. He reasoned. She's the freakin lord of terror. So of course she's stronger than everybody. And I never give her special privileges over everyone else. I'm a jerk to everybody equally. He was a jerk till the end after all.
He felt better over his own stupid logic. He relaxed. He was right. He was not in love with Angol Mois. He had just panicked over nothing.
The butterflies in his stomach went away as if lied to.
The next day Kululu felt the need to remind himself that he was in fact sound in his logic. That he was the biggest jerk in the history of jerks, a jerk to all, a jerk till the end, and a jerk to everybody equally.
He had to keep his mind off his failures and Mois. But mostly he just needed to make himself feel superior and better.
Doing one of those good old fashion pranks to everybody, being a jerk to everybody will be sure to remind me of where my heart truly lies. On the path to evil, alone and loving it.
"Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed knowing full well what variety of tortures he'd inflict on everybody.
It was Natsumi who realized that she was being jerked around first.
"AHHH!" She screamed running out of her room and slamming the door.
"Natsumi! What's wrong?" Giroro asked, running in, looking a little bit different. He had his guns out ready to defend her.
Natsumi tried to steady her breathing. "S-slugs...Slugs all over..Everything...All over my room. Someone put slugs everywhere." She finally managed to gasp out.
Giroro looked at her sympathetically. "I can remove them for you." He offered, "I bet it was Keroro or Kululu though that did such a crime. Keroro was probably mad over something petty and found a bunch of slugs to put in your room or Kululu...Was just being Kululu." Giroro guessed. If it was Kululu he was glad the prank seemed harmless.
Natsumi looked at him closer. "Giroro...Did...Did you forget to do something this morning?"
"No?" Giroro asked, unaware that one of his key features was gone. "Why do you ask?"
"Well...I just mean...You kinda forgot your make-up." Natsumi squeaked out a bit embarrassed.
"Make up?" Giroro asked. "I don't wear make up."
Natsumi pointed to her face. "Your scar."
Giroro looked confused. "That's not make up." He corrected. "That's really a scar."
Natsumi shook her head not believing him. "Scars just don't vanish and leave your face. Also what kind of scar jumps over your eye and doesn't damage it at all? It's all right, Giroro. I'm sure everybody by now knows it's make up."
Giroro quickly ran to a mirror to look at his face. He screamed. "AHHH! My scar is missing! Someone stole it! Wait...People can't steal scars." What the heck had happened to his scar? It really was a scar!
But….But now….People were sure to believe that Giroro had just been faking it for years. Like what Natsumi said.
Kululu. Giroro realized. Only he could have done something so wretched. He probably made a raygun….To steal my scar of all things? It's kind of stupid but it's humiliating. How am I going to explain my theory to everyone else? Everyone else was sure to think he was just edgy instead of this being real.
Giroro sobbed over his lost scar.
Luckily for him it didn't take long for other people to come in and start reporting pranks. Dororo was the first to show up.
"WHERE THE HELL IS KULULU?" He actually swore in pure anger. Koyuki stood in front of him as to block him from everybody's view.
Natsumi and Giroro looked at him unable to see him. "What's going on?" Natsumi asked.
"We suspect Kululu visited our house to prank us." Koyuki confessed. "He switched out all my cool weapons with rubber toys!"
Giroro walked up to her and pat her leg. "That is a great crime." He could understand how losing weapons was sad.
"No it's not. It really isn't that bad. I'm surprised Dororo's so mad over it." Natsumi pointed out.
"Giroro! I didn't know you drew on your scar." Koyuki noted. "That's a bit weird. Makes me feel better about being weird. At least I'm real." She smiled.
Giroro growled in annoyance. "I don't draw it on-"
"Makes sense. Scars don't jump over people's eyes." Koyuki nodded. "That's not how they work."
Natsumi nodded in agreement.
"But no...That's not what Dororo's mad about." Koyuki told them.
Dororo sobbed. "My...My lips are too big too put my mask on all of a sudden."
Natsumi pushed Koyuki aside from hiding Dororo so she could see. The keronian now had huge fish lips and was unable to put his mask over those fish lips.
"Wow….Wow..That...That really is bad and hideous." Natsumi couldn't make light of this situation. "But why us? Why did Kululu decide to prank us three?"
"He pranked me too! He stole my scar!" Giroro tried to remind. For once it was him that was ignored and not Dororo.
Fuyuki ran up the stairs. "It wasn't just you guys that Kululu visited." He looked like he was in despair too. However unlike the rest of them he looked pretty unharmed.
"What did he do to you?" Natsumi asked.
Fuyuki threw himself on Natsumi and started to sob. "He gave all my occult theories to sci-fi writers! They ruined it and wrote it into fiction! Now everybody thinks my theories are all just a work of crackpot sci-fi! My life is ruined!" He sobbed.
Momoka ran up the stairs after him as if hearing that Fuyuki was sobbing. She pushed Natsumi aside so she could hold Fuyuki.
Fuyuki didn't shy away from the hug, instead he clung onto Momoka and cried. "My life's work...It's all ruined. My good name. It's all sci-fi! Bad sci-fi!" He sobbed.
"I know how you feel. I'm pretty sure Kululu got to me and Tamama too. And I'm in a rage!" Momoka proclaimed.
"What did he do? Oh no...Are your occult theories gone too?" Fuyuki asked wrongly assuming she had occult theories.
"All my pictures of Fuyuki have photo-shopped mustaches on them! They're suddenly very ugly! I can't even lovingly gaze at pictures of Fuyuki when they have Paul's mustache on them!" Momoka cried.
Fuyuki slowly got off of her. "...Huh?" He really didn't understand Momoka. "Wait….You think I'd be ugly with facial hair?"
"Uhhh...I didn't mean that. I just meant...Umm..." Momoka got all embarrassed. "You're...Not planning to grow a mustache are you, Fuyuki?"
Fuyuki didn't know. He wasn't sure. Right now though he thought that probably wasn't a good idea.
Tamama bounced up to the growing congregation. "Momocchi's prank isn't nearly as bad as what he did to me. He actually put me through pain!"
"...Really?" Giroro asked.
"Yeah! I mean I wouldn't exaggerate! Look at this!" Tamama took out his phone and a message from Keroro. "I only learned that Kululu had gotten his hands on Mr. Sergeant's phone after I realized that Momoka had also been jerked around. After all this...This has to be Kululu's doing! Not Mr. Sergeant's!" Tamama sniffled.
They all looked at the text messages that Tamama was holding out. It had been faked from Keroro
Yo Lady Mois, you really really really good last night. We should do that again. But we've got to make sure nobody else finds out. After all we wouldn't want them to know about our dangerous love affair.
Crap...I think I might have sent this message to the wrong person. Crap. Crap. Wait, I sent this message wrong too.
Don't tell anybody we're banging!
Tamama sobbed into his hands. "I believed Mr. Sergeant was having a dangerous love affair with that woman of all people for hours! I cried my eyes out!"
"….This is so obviously faked." Giroro just frowned. "Keroro would never use the words 'dangerous love affair.'"
"Yes, he would! Don't shatter my dreams!" Tamama cried.
"Just got a text from Mom." Natsumi frowned. "Apparently an obviously alien thing happened at work too." She just continuously frowned. "Before she got to work her office was moved with a tractor beam a block away while everybody was in it so she didn't know where her work had gone. She was two hours late. Everybody else didn't notice and just shook it off as they had forgotten where they had parked but she knew...She knew it was obviously alien."
"Man, he even got Aki? I'm starting to think the only one he didn't get was Saburo." Giroro crossed his arms.
"And you." Natsumi pointed out.
"I told you it's not drawn on!" Giroro denied.
Saburo jumped up the stairs at just that moment, frowning. "I came to see Kululu. Heard the end of your conversation and unfortunately that stuff you said isn't true. He got me too."
Natsumi smiled when she saw him. Then she covered her nose and backed away. Koyuki and Momoka did the same.
Giroro looked around. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on. He liked that Natsumi didn't seem to like Saburo but something was odd here and he didn't know what.
"S-saburo...Um...Uhhh...Why do you..." Natsumi didn't know how to say this. "Do you need to use our bath?"
"No. It's Kululu's fault I smell so bad." Saburo sighed. "He gave me a soap that he assured me would work with my hair gel and I wouldn't have to re-do things. I stupidly believed him. Turns out it makes me smell like stinky socks." Saburo just frowned.
"You don't smell like that to me. You smell like pekoponian." Tamama pointed out.
"I only smell like stinky socks to females." Saburo corrected, pointing to Koyuki, Momoka and Natsumi who all looked nauseous. "It's ruining my popularity! He complained. I need an antidote from Kululu!"
At that exact moment the doors opened wide as a swarm of people barged in.
"It's down the hall and to the base, the auction said!" The greasy people seemed to yell. There were hundreds of them and they were all normal humans.
"Hide the frogs!" Natsumi said quickly.
"What the heck are pekoponians doing barging into your house?" Giroro asked.
The humans didn't seem to notice any of them.
"Get out!" Natsumi yelled, "This is my house!" She yelled.
But the people didn't answer, they just swarmed past her towards the base.
"The base...Our alien secrets—It's in danger!" Giroro yelled. The people didn't even seem to notice the aliens around them, they were on a mission.
There was a loud scream from the base- quite obviously Keroro's. "No! Stop!" He yelled. "Please….Take someone else's life instead!"
Everybody looked at each other in horror. Were these scientists coming to take Keroro away.
Fuyuki pushed past the greasy people as they streamed into his house and then streamed out their hands full of bags. "Sarge!" He desperately tried to get to his friend.
By the time he had gotten past the crowd Keroro was lying on the floor of his base crying in a pile of money.
"W-what's….What's going on?" Natsumi asked, the people having just left. They had come so quickly and left so quickly that she didn't understand a single thing that was going on besides the fact that Keroro was sobbing.
Had he been hurt?
"They...They took them all...My gundam models!" Keroro cried. "They were all hardcore Gundam fans! Said I had put them up for auction on an online site! But I swear I didn't! They paid me and stole them all!"
"...That's all? They were just weird fans?" Giroro asked. "Perhaps this is for the best then. I mean this is quite a lot of money. We're rich."
Keroro cried. "But the gundam models! This is too far! Who the heck would do this? Did you do it, Giroro?" Did you sell my gundam models?"
"N-no." Giroro said quickly.
"Wait a minute, Sarge. They saw you? Humans saw you?" Fuyuki asked. "What did they say about you being an alien?"
Keroro shrugged. "They just thought I was a small fan in cosplay. Honestly they didn't notice. Their minds were filled with greed and desire for my beautiful collection." Keroro sobbed again. "My poor gundam models...All gone."
"I know who did this, Mr. Sergeant." Tamama put a hand on his arm to try to comfort him.
Keroro wiped away his tears. "R-really? Private if you uncover this mystery you'll be my hero!"
"It was that woman!" Tamama proclaimed, using any opportunity to throw Angol Mois under the bus. "Speaking of that woman...You aren't having a dangerous love affair with her by any chance, right?"
Keroro looked at him oddly. "No? I can assure you I'm not." He reassured.
Dororo sighed. "It was Kululu, Keroro. Kululu's been being a jerk to all of us. It's no surprise that he got you too."
"Nice lips." Keroro complimented. "First time I saw them. I guess I win with the fish lip theory."
"I will stab you if you comment." Dororo threatened and hissed.
Keroro backed off.
"He didn't do anything to Giroro though." Natsumi pointed out.
"I keep telling you all he stole my scar!" Giroro protested.
"I thought you drew that on." Keroro frowned.
Giroro just growled in utter annoyance. "We've got to punish Kululu. We gotta find him."
"Way ahead of you. My gundam will have vengeance." Keroro nodded.
Even Saburo nodded. "He's gone too far by making me smelly and unpopular. I'm like...Not as cool anymore." He was fuming.
"I agree with you!" Natsumi said from a distance, avoiding him. "I mean about the he's gone too far part not that you're not cool. I mean you are pretty stinky and not cool, but...I should stop talking now." Natsumi squeaked.
Saburo frowned.
"It's...It's okay though. If he's being a jerk to all of us I know exactly who will be able to talk to him and deal with him. Mois will take care of all of this for us." Natsumi reminded.
Everybody smiled. Of course she would. This would teach Kululu a lesson. She was always Kululu's weakness and would get him to stop acting like a little jerk and pulling huge pranks like this.
"I wonder what awful torture Kululu enacted on her. I know all the things I would do to that woman if I was him." Tamama decided. "I hope it's worse than what he did to me."
They knew Mois was their comrade in this and headed off to her room to see what tortures were enacted on her.
They all stood by Mois's door and waited for her to open it. She did after a moment and smiled.
"Why hello!" She greeted, perfectly rested. "What is it that you need?"
"We wanted to see if Kululu had visited." Giroro told her.
She looked at him for a moment. "I didn't know you drew your scar on Giroro. That's a bit...You could say, lame?"
"You could say that. And you did just say that." Tamama groaned.
"I do not!" Giroro denied. "Kululu stole my scar!"
"I didn't know people could steal scars. Keronians are super complex." Mois replied.
"Augh!" Giroro groaned. Did nobody believe him that his scar was real?
"What Giroro was asking is have you seen Kululu recently." Natsumi poked past Giroro.
Mois nodded. "Yeah! He visited me earlier." She smiled.
"Oh? And what did he do?" Natsumi grinned knowing Mois would want revenge like the rest of them.
"Hmm...Nothing much." Mois thought for a moment. "He gave me a few maps of Keron's geography. You know for if I ever want to fantasize about destroying it."
"They were probably incorrect. That little jerk." Keroro piped up.
"Nope! They were perfectly correct. He gave me a globe of Pekopon too! I of course, broke it, but I'm pretty sure that was the purpose." Mois nodded. "Why?"
Natsumi just frowned. "So...You're saying instead of doing anything remotely mean Kululu came here to give you gifts?"
"I guess you could say that. He didn't give you gifts?" Mois asked.
"If you can call a room of slugs a gift, then yes. He did." Natsumi growled. "What a jerk! He was so afraid of Mois that he knew we'd try to use her to punish him and he made sure to keep her in a good mood."
Mois just looked confused. "Um...Can I ask you what that smell is-"
"It's Saburo." Momoka pointed. "Kululu was a jerk to all of us. He pranked us badly. And you're the only one who managed to be untouched."
They all looked at Mois equally jealous of the fact that she was Kululu's fear and he was too afraid of her to touch her. They did not realize in anyway that Kululu was just a huge hypocrite and giving her special privileges over everyone else even though he had sworn not to.
"Oh no. That doesn't sound very fun. Let me get dressed and then I can come out to talk to you." Mois, still in her pajamas because she had been napping, closed her door to get dressed.
They all just frowned.
"This is so unfair that she was the only one who didn't get pranked!" Tamama cried.
A variety of complaints went out about things being unfair by a lot of them as they waited for Angol Mois.
"I think we should still send her to lecture Kululu." Natsumi decided. "What he did was over-the-top. He filled my room with slugs!" She complained. "It had to be him doing it just to be a jerk! And Mois is sympathetic towards our plight."
Keroro for once though spoke up and used logic. "I don't think that would work. I doubt Kululu would truly learn his lesson and next year he might do the same thing. And I never want him to hurt my gundam models again."
"Well then what do you suggest?" Natsumi asked. "I doubt you have a good suggestion to fix this."
"Natsumi, I'm a leader. I always have good ideas!" Keroro boasted. "Uhhh..." He tried to come up with an idea. "I think we should make something more long term and torturous than Mois just scolding Kululu once. I mean...He ruined some really important stuff. Like gundam models!"
"And occult theories." Fuyuki agreed. Besides that there wasn't much long-term damage.
Everybody nodded actually agreeing with Keroro. They wanted Kululu to have a long term punishment.
"Let's make him go through hell for an entire month. Let's make the next month for Kululu absolutely torturous." Keroro suggested.
"And how do you suggest that?" Dororo asked. "We're not going to like...Physically harm him are we? I mean I'm willing over the lips but-"
"No, that's a little far." Keroro winced quickly trying to keep Dororo from hurting someone. Giroro already had his guns out. "I just meant well...In the spirit of Pekopon, this month is the month of October, right?"
Natsumi nodded.
"October is the month of horror." Keroro reminded. "So let's terrify Kululu for an entire month."
"And how do you suggest that? He's no Giroro." Tamama reminded.
"H-hey!" Giroro frowned.
"We'll use Angol Mois of course. She's his fear. We'll get her to make his fear for her worse, and drive his fear even worse. That's better than a one hour lecture that he's got to withstand. A month is better torture than an hour!" Keroro smiled.
Natsumi actually smiled too and nodded. She could see Keroro's logic.
"But how do we make that woman more frightening and worse? I always thought she was already at her worst." Tamama pointed out.
"We get her to spend more time with him and stare at him more, of course!" Keroro smiled. "Mois's pretty easy to convince to do something if she thinks she's doing it for good or to help someone. And I know for a fact that she's looking for a way to help Kululu through his fear. I'll just tell her that the best way is to spend more time with him."
"And that will work?" Giroro doubted that.
Keroro nodded. "Yep! I know Mois well enough to know that will work."
Mois opened the door. "Okay! I'm ready to listen to your problems."
Giroro looked skeptical about Keroro's plan but decided to go for it. "Ignore it, Mois. We discussed things and things are much better."
"Oh. Really? And you're still all here? Did you need something else then?" Mois asked.
"Y-yeah...We were wondering...If we could get you to do a favor for us. Well more like a favor for you."
"More like a favor for Kululu!" Keroro quickly spoke up.
"A favor for Kululu? What does he need?" Mois asked.
"Well, I was thinking about the advice you asked me for the other day...I've decided you probably shouldn't just give up on helping and supporting Kululu. In fact I want you to try curing him of his fear." Keroro told her. "I was thinking we could even make it a bet to make it more fun, because I believe in you that you can in fact cure him!"
Mois smiled. "...You really think that?" She looked excited.
Everybody nodded, although Natsumi looked at the ground feeling a bit guilty. She knew they were setting the poor girl up to fail. Nobody believed she could cure Kululu, and nobody wanted her to cure him. She almost felt guilty enough to speak up, opening her mouth to tell Mois the truth instead of manipulating her.
Saburo grabbed her arm though to stop her. Kululu needed to learn his lesson. Natsumi passed out from the smell and fell onto the floor.
"Natsumi!" Giroro rushed to her side.
Mois barely noticed. She was still thinking about the subject of curing Kululu. "But what new information did you get Uncle that made you suddenly feel that it wasn't a lost cause? What can I do to support him?"
"Well, I know the best way to cure a fear is through over-exposure to said fear. You kinda get used to it over time. That's just common knowledge. It's kind of a shock therapy. Lots of shock from that fear makes things better." Keroro lied. That was a load of crap, that made a fear worse.
Mois smiled, not knowing that though.
"Your task should be incredibly easy! You have the power to really help Kululu." Koyuki reassured her, seeing what Keroro was doing.
Mois nodded. I've actually been thinking a lot about Kululu's fear and what I can do to help it. I want to help make it go away. And now a way has presented itself to me. "I'd be happy to take your bet. I mean it seems harmless and bet's always make things more fun!"
Everybody cheered and grinned.
"But….It was my understanding that removing the object that frightened someone helped them? Maybe that means I should spend some time away from Kululu so Kululu can have some time away from being frightened." Mois suggested.
"NO!" Giroro spoke up quickly. "You should not!"
"Yeah." Tamama quickly agreed. That would defeat the whole thing. It was probably what Kululu wanted. And if anyone was going to get away from that woman it was him. "You should definitely spend as much time with Kululu as possible. Like so much time. Mr. Sergeant will be okay with you not spending time with him for a month for Kululu's sake. So like...Don't spend any time with him and just hang out with Kululu, all right?"
It was pretty obvious that Tamama just wanted Mois away from Keroro.
"The only way for someone to overcome a fear is by confronting it, I've heard. They've got to be stronger than the fear." Fuyuki tried to advise. "Maybe this will be for the best and you'll give Kululu that strength?" He wanted Kululu punished too, because he was super mad but there could be some good that came from this. Mostly though Fuyuki was just kind of petty and wanted Kululu to be punished too.
"Yeah, just be with him non-stop and try everything you can to get Kululu more acquainted with you." Everybody agreed surrounding Mois.
Mois smiled. She was glad everybody was so supportive. "I'll do it!" She agreed happily to the bet.
Dororo however, although angry at Kululu, felt no need to drag Mois down into such a torturous punishment. He felt the need to be the voice of reason. "If...If this is a bet we should definitely give her something if she manages to do it. Honestly guys I think we should give her something just for going through with it." He paused. "RIGHT?" He hissed, trying to remind everyone that they were manipulating Angol Mois and they should feel bad for her.
"Y-yeah...Mois should get a reward for just going through with this." Momoka agreed.
"Losing is it's own punishment for the bet. She'll have gone through all that effort for nothing. So I think we should give her something regardless of the outcome. To get her through it." Dororo suggested. He just really felt bad and thought she deserved a reward.
"I'm okay with only getting something if I win. I mean that's kind of how a bet works." Mois reminded. "Although Kululu being cured might be enough of a reward."
Dororo glared at everybody and wrote something on a sign behind Mois "WE'RE DEFINITELY GIVING HER A REWARD FOR GOING THROUGH WITH THIS EVEN WHEN SHE LOSES." His sign read.
"I agree with Dororo. Mois deserves a prize! It'll make things more fun and in good spirits." Koyuki jumped up and agreed with Dororo.
"Well then what do you suggest?" Giroro asked.
"How about a date with Keroro? She always did want that." Dororo suggested.
Everybody nodded. That made sense.
"Um-Uhh...I kind of think it's wrong to get a date with Uncle for a bet involving Kululu? I want to win Uncle's heart on my own so umm...I'm not too okay with that suggestion-" Mois tried to speak up as the others discussed her reward. Her speech went over everybody's heads though and nobody seemed to hear her even though she was the main subject of the bet.
She thought they heard her though. Why wouldn't they be listening to her of all people after all?
"How about a cake? I don't want that woman to have a cake but it's way better than letting her date my Mr. Sergeant." Tamama suggested.
Not many people heard him either, instead all agreeing with the Keroro date. Mois heard Tamama though.
"I like that suggestion! I would love a cake regardless of outcome!" Mois smiled. "I agree to that as the reward of the bet!" She finally spoke up louder and everybody heard her.
Unfortunately for her they all assumed they were talking about the Keroro date. Tamama screamed, but they all nodded.
"Why am I signed up for this? Why does she want that?" Keroro asked just confused.
"It's okay. I think this all works out for the best." Fuyuki said hurriedly. "We're glad that you agreed! We wish you the best of luck!"
Mois smiled and nodded, non the wiser that she was going to date Keroro.
"You have a month then." Momoka pointed out. "A month to see if you can cure Kululu."
"I'm sure I can do it! If you all believe in me so much I'll do your over-exposure therapy!" Mois said giddily. Seeing everything had been decided she skipped off to do exactly this.
Everybody else smiled as she left.
"This really is the perfect punishment for Kululu." They agreed. He'd regret the day he pranked them. He'd probably regret it in a week.
They were so excited to see his terrible reactions.
Pretty clear to Kululu that he's got a crush he just really doesn't want to face that.
Every long kurumois fic that's fluff I try to make it so that Kululu doesn't have feelings for Mois from the beginning but...I end up caving pretty quick so I didn't even try this time. He's in love with her those are the facts.
This was the original end of the first chapter but I split it into two chapters.
Please review.