CHAPTER 5
The house is empty, just as Andrea remembers. She spent her childhood here, holding her grandmothers hand and drinking Horchata after school. The white fenced doors need a little paint, but otherwise the house has held her own for the last decade. The last time Andrea visited was to enforce her grandmothers will, and put the estate in her name. Olivia Nieto had left her everything, though Olivia and Andrea's mother did not keep in touch after Andrea left Mexico forced by her parents, the elegant Mexican lady kept in touch with her granddaughter. In fact Richards first law firm had been started with a loan from Mrs. Nieto, a loan that perhaps was never re-payed. For a long time Andrea considered changing her name to Nieto, she still wanted to but never got around to it.
"This house is beautiful Andrea," Natalie whispered and for a second drew her friend out of the haze. Andrea nodded, it truly was. The house in the best area of the city was beautiful indeed. Rich mahogany wood lined the living room and marble lined the formal dining room. Grand curtain rods fell from the tall ceilings glass windows oversaw the front garden. Her grandmother loved light, and flowers, the vintage wallpaper off-white and peeling in some hidden corners gave in a majestic air.
Andrea felt the same airless sadness she would feel in her dreams. Walking in this house, in the stillness of the memories standing around her she felt hallow. She wanted to cry, close her eyes and cry. She was finally back home, but home wasn't here anymore. The memories were ghosts, ghosts of yesterday that shaped who she was and gave her eternal sadness. Slowly she walked into the studio, dark bookcases lined the walls and glass decorations still stood proud. Here her grandfather used to sit and read the bible, crossed legged and with a glass of whiskey. She could see him now, sitting on the sofa, glasses perched on the edge of his nose.
"would you like me to read to you?" he'd ask.
The studio also had a glass panel, guarded by decorative white iron, from here you could see the back garden. The rose bushes her grandmother had planted ere drying and overgrown but the white long tulips still bloomed in the tempered city climate.
She let the two women wander around, she had gotten food delivered and they were putting it away.
Mindlessly she climbed the stairs, to the bedrooms, each half opened and filled with shadows. Her grandparents room was the first she entered. Dark and cold, the bed stood in the center of the room still, everything else as covered in white sheets, the dark green velvet curtains were fading and made no attempt to pull them shut. On the nightstand was her grandmother's crucifix, and everything stirred in her. She used to reproach God for taking her away from Mexico City, from her grandmother, from happiness.
She wanted her grandmother to be there, to tell her everything was going to be all right, she wanted the dark-haired woman to dry her tears, to hold out a cup of tea on her wrinkled hands and laugh with her as they went through outfits to wear. Instead she felt Miranda hold her, softly and proving. Andrea cried into the shoulder of her lover, perhaps it was exhaustion from driving or confusion from the world falling apart but she felt weak, she had no strength to continue, at least not for that night.
The news from the north only got darker. High politicians were murdered, people were fleeing to the banks, taking their money out, they were being turned away from airports and the neighboring countries closed their borders. Mexican citizens had returned by the hundreds, the ones still in the estates were trapped. Mexico plagued by drug cartels and not enough resources did not want to risk chaos. Those who opposed the actions of the elected government in the north faced trial and disappearance. Europe remained impartial, and though neither Russia nor any of the other accused parties had responded the war rally, the bombings kept happening all over the states.
"I'm glad I trusted you" Miranda jokes one morning. At least in the city life continues on as if nothing were happening Andrea has gotten full access to the will and the funds, all three women are living a surreal escapade. Miranda goes to Plaza Santa Fe once a week to keep herself entertained, she visits the Gucci store and usually buys something. She now has a collection of Gucci scarfs that Natalie likes to use for every outfit she has, which is not many. Natalie mostly stays home, or visits the neighbors who are also foreign nationals here on a post from France. They feed her bonbons and marzipan and Aida the wife plays bridge with her. Andrea goes down to the city center a lot, mostly by herself bus sometimes she takes Natalie too. They eat avocado flavored ice – cream and drink red wine with mole. Natalie likes to buy traditional art and Andrea humors her. The three women go to Sanborn's café twice a week, they eat something different each time, though Miranda always tries to sneak away with Tomato Pasta soup, and no one talks about Miranda's lack of dietary constriction, or the three glasses whiskey Andrea has at the restaurant followed by other three at home. They don't talk about the future but they watch the news in silence almost religiously.
"I am going to start writing our memoirs" Miranda announced one Friday night as they are getting ready to go to the ambassador's gala. Natalie has refused to go, she feels tired and has caught the flu or something. Miranda has bought a new cocktail dress, black silk and gold bodice, Andrea is using a silver shimmer one that used to belong to her grandmother. Miranda has taken the side in, complaining that Andrea should just have bought a new one while at the same time bragging that she was an excellent seamstress.
Andrea was already drinking. Miranda repeats herself and Natalie who is brushing her hair laughs and says," can you say I was the most beautiful of the three?"
Somehow that one simple joke breaks the tension of the past few months and Andrea sits down, complete exhausted. "I feel like we have slipped through a certain crack. Like we are stealing time, and sooner or later it's all going to catch up with us"
"Andrea let's not be negative, not tonight"
The three women brood over what has been said. None of them have said it but they think it every day. Communication to California or New York has been restricted and monitored, the borders are closed except to certain factions. The UN negotiations have fallen through and most major countries have pulled their embassies out of the US. The country that used to be the example of democracy is now the example of a failed model. It is rumored the government has made the factions disappear, though uneven bombings continue to be heard of. Russia has openly declared war and Hawaii as well as Guam have been hit repeatedly. Tankers have been sunk and planes constantly circle the skies at night.
The previous week a cyber-attack shut down light panels in 10 major cities across the nation and the intelligence agencies took days to recover.
Andrea has heard rumors that the resistance as it has started to be called was escaping though what used to be cartel tunnels. They were making way to Mexico to regroup and get new allies.
War does make strange bedfellows, she though as she mingled in the brightly lit soiree at the embassy. Everyone here laughed and sparkled, drinking old fashions and elderflower cocktails avoiding talk of the troubled northern neighbor. It reminded the young lawyer of movies she had seen about WWII, Nazi officers in rich soirées without care about what was happening outside the walls. Miranda glances from across the room, she knows exactly what her lover is thinking. She locks eyes with her and a few minutes later waltz out into the city air. The night is dark, their driver pulls up and they ride hand in hand back to the house.
They haven't really talked about their relationship in the months that have passed. It was quiet and unspoken, they were together and nothing else needed to be said.
"I need to bring the girls home, Europe is no longer safe" Miranda says that night as they sit in the back garden and drink eucalyptus tea.
"home?" Andrea asks
"This is home for now, I guess" she says
"Do they want to come?" Andrea asks
Miranda shakes her head, "they are young idealists, who think they can help more there.."
"I remember what that was like"
"And their father thinks they are safer there than here. I miss them so much Andrea," she pauses.
"You will see them soon," she says hoping it's true.
"When all this is over, will you still love me?" Miranda asks. She wanted to say she was sure of the answer but she was afraid when silence washed over the night.
"I will always love you, Miranda. There will never be anyone else," Andrea confesses.
"And what will we be?" Miranda continues taking her lovers hand and drawing circles in the inside.
Andrea inhales the musty air, it wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold, they still sat dressed in cocktail dresses and full makeup. Miranda was confused and frustrated, how long could they keep this charade for? How long before war come looking for them too? Would this end? Would her home country ever go back to being what it was.
"Marry me, Miranda" Andrea declares and she unclenches her free hand revealing a thin, gold ring. Vintage and fragile, it boasted an emerald not a diamond in the center, it hung on the ring with an unconventional mount. "It used to be my grandmothers, my grandfather gave it to her for their 50th anniversary, it was meant to replace her original ring that was essentially worthless, since they both were poor. He told her the emerald was more beautiful than a diamond, full of color, and life and dreams and the mount was custom made because he said, she deserved unconventional. I thought it would be perfect for you, for us"
Miranda opens her mouth, casting her eyes toward the ring in Andrea's open hand. She's shocked and confused. It isn't that she doesn't want to marry this woman, it's that this woman didn't want to marry her.
"Miranda?' Andrea probed reaching out for Miranda's left hand and looking up at her diamond blue eyes.
"Andrea? I…" she wanted to make sure this was because Andrea loved her, and wanted this, that she wouldn't regret it as soon as the war was over.
"Is that a no? Miranda, I thought you wanted this, me, us"
Miranda snaps out of the trance she was in, she takes the ring out of Andrea's hand and holds it captive in her own. Looking straight at the large chocolate eyes she whispers, "Of course I do, I want us more than anything in the world. Nothing would make me happier than to be your wife, but I don't want you to do this because you think it's what I want. I don't want you to do this because we are in our own little world, far from our friends, from your family, Andrea I want you to be sure"
"I am," Is all Andrea says and reaches over to put the ring on Miranda's finger, "it looks beautiful on you"
"You and Natalie are all the family I have, being here has made me realize this. Now fiancée, will you kiss me?"
Miranda bubbles over with laughter, loud and incandescing, Natalie stumbles out the patio door, sleepy and slightly inebriated.
"Oh! Andrea did you do it?" she asks.
"you knew too?" Miranda questions now both her and Andrea are up and half hugging, half twirling in the grass.
"Of course, Miranda"
The scene if someone were to see it from afar was perfect. Both women in beautiful gowns, hair made up, laughing in the gleam of the moonlight, Natalie in white robes and hair down laughing along with them. The night was darker than usual, the grass was moist with dew, the air was crisp and silent. No one would guess the world around them was falling apart, that they were exiles from their country, in the dark about what was about to happen.
The New York Times, Elias Clarke, Random House all bombed the following morning, nothing was being done. Outside news outlets claimed it was the government who was bringing all the chaos, destroying liberal media, hushing the country and giving way to the alt-right to creep in from the shadows. But everyone had known that, from the Inaugural Address. Miranda didn't talk the whole day, she simply stared at her ring and the grass outside. Natalie and Andrea knew better than to say a single thing.
The months in Mexico soon became a year and the borders still remained closed. England, Italy and Spain had declared they would support America but no action had been taken on European soil yet. The EU was breathing shallow these days, with Eastern countries aided by France, Germany wanting to remain neutral and all the factions breaking away right before it's eyes.
In Mexico things were starting to feel tense too. Violence had soared in the city, Natalie arrived once afternoon in tears and white as a ghost.
"Natalie what's wrong?" Miranda asked as she descended the stairs.
"I lost the car" she said simply as she sat down in the kitchen table and poured a shot of the first brown alcohol she could find.
They had agreed on buying one car and using the older Buick that her grandparents still had in the garage, with a few mechanical fixtures of course. Miranda and Natalie took turns driving the new Mercedes while Andrea for the most part drove the black Buick. Today she had gone to buy groceries, Miranda was alone.
"What do you mean?"
"I … someone assaulted me gun point" Natalie stuttered out as poignantly as she could in between sobs. She was shaking, Miranda put her hands on her shoulders and tried to calm her.
"but you're okay, right, that is all that matters"
Natalie nodded but kept crying, this was the scene Andrea walked into.
"Oh my God, what happened?" she asked dropping the bags at the door, a tomato rolled out but no one noticed.
"Miranda? Natalie?"
"Calm down darling, Natalie was assaulted, they took the car but we are all okay"
"I'm pregnant" Natalie blurts out and both women look at her and think it is the stress from the incidents today.
"I went to the doctor, he confirmed it."
Miranda and Andrea look at the glass of alcohol she's holding. Another surreal thing. The whole year has been like a trip down the rabbit hole.
"What?" Miranda asks as ineloquently as both younger woman have ever heard her.
They are going to need more whiskey, maybe not Natalie, but what the fuck. She servers three more shots, they all drink them, guilt and confusion in their eyes. Once the moment passes Miranda speaks again, "Who is the father?"
"Adrian"
"Natalie what the fuck are you doing? What do you think we are doing here? On vacation? You fucked our neighbor? Oh god and you went over and had lunch with his wife! I don't even know what to say. Why would you be so careless? What are we going to do now? What the fuck, we're stuck here and you are whoring around" frustration rings in her voice, she brings her hands up to her eyes.
"Darling why don't' I get you a glass of wine and we talk about this later, Natalie has had a bad shock, I'll make her some tea, we will all calm down and order dinner? Okay?"
Andrea nods, she always nods to Miranda.
The wine makes a noise as it pours, "Don't be too hard on her darling. We all make mistakes, besides a child is always a blessing. Promise me we'll take care of her"
"Of course we will; she's like my sister. I just don't understand what was going to through her head"
"Aida knows" Natalie is standing on the portico, both women no .
"Okay, she knows you're pregnant?"
"She knows we had an affair, she was okay with it. She doesn't know I'm pregnant."
"Well we won't be able to hide it for too long" Miranda says.
The pregnancy is an unexpected move, like someone is playing chess with them and they are losing. Ultimately is not the pregnancy that makes them move but the creeping violence that has gotten out of hand. People in the neighborhood are being kidnapped, illegal fighters from the north have gotten into Mexico they ask for money and then they use it to buy guns, weapons and allies in the northern war. Rumors about the violence and the bombings eroding the northern borders, and crossing over to the North States rounds in the news cycles. Durango, Sonora and Tijuana are drug territory. The cartels will do anything for money, kill, kidnap, rob, rape, smuggle. The Mexican government is knee deep in corruption with the drug lords, the war in the north and the closing of the borders has affected their drug imports. New ways to make money must be made. Germany pulled its ambassador from Mexico City last week.
"My grandmother had an hacienda in the south, I used to spend summers there as a child. I think we should go there. The city is getting too dangerous for the moment. I don't want the risk it with Natalie pregnant, it has been 3 months since we found out. She has to be about to show. What do you think?"
Miranda is getting ready to go to the plaza. She has a facial appointment today; her hair is perfectly combed and she has opted for a dark mahogany lipstick shade that matches her Gucci scarf and the white dress she's wearing.
"Come with me, we'll have a nice dinner, some wine, we'll buy something we don't need. We can get you a ring too. We really haven't celebrated," the older woman asks and turns around from the vanity mirror to the sofa where Andrea sits.
"I'm not dressed to go out," she says although anyone watching would disagree.
She's got on mid-calf pants dark brown and a pearl blouse, "put on the camel colored coat and you'll be perfect." Miranda instructs and as always gets her way.
"I feel like we've been together forever" Andrea says as the wine arrives.
They bought a modest engagement ring, more a symbol than anything else.
"that's because we're living through a war Andrea, wars do that to people. The world is falling apart around us. We haven't spoken to our family or friends forever, it seems like it is just you and me for now.
"Have you talked to the girls" she asks
Miranda nods, "they are staying in Germany with their father. The only safe place for now it seems. What an irony "
Andrea nods.
"You look beautiful Miranda, I sometimes don't say it to you, but you do. I look at you and I remember why I fell in love with you"
Miranda blushes, the queen of fashion, used to having compliments left and right blushes. Andrea notes that.
"Let's leave this week" Miranda speaks, "I think it will be good for all of us"
And they do, they all pack up the old Buick and drive down south to the peninsula, to the warm ocean and coffee plantations. The change will be good for them, it has to be.