CHAPTER 6.
The hacienda is a vast expanse of what used to be glory. Andrea remembers riding horses and all the flower fields that grew. The family made no money from the property it was their vacation home, in the family for generations. Her grandmother would always complain about the heat, her slight curvy hair would frizz and she'd have to put it up in a bun which she found odious.
The three women found the work of cleaning and restoring the hacienda therapeutic. They could for at least moments forget they were in a limbo or sorts. Andrea started cleaning the grounds the very next day of their arrival. She spent all morning out in the large fields collecting all the hay and trash that had been accumulated. They had someone come a few times a year and clean it but it clearly had not been enough.
When she finally came into the main house she found Natalie asleep and Miranda sitting by the piano drinking lukewarm coffee, lukewarm coffee. The fashion diva who always wanted hot, 'and I mean' hot coffee, who would fire any assistant who did not deliver it the temperature of the sun, was drinking warm coffee like nothing in the world mattered.
"Don't look so surprised, Andrea. We've been through so much shit, we're sitting in your families semi-abandoned farm the temperature of my coffee is the last thing on my mind."
Andrea understands the sentiment but nonetheless, sits down in her just showered hair and cries.
Miranda knows it isn't the coffee, it's the implausibility of everything that has happened to them. She wants to tell her lover this isn't' the time to cry, that they have to be strong, that they have to figure out some way to make money while they are here, she wants to tell her that they now will have to take care of Natalie, and what will they do about the birth? But, this isn't the time.
"I'll make you dinner, why don't you play me something? I know you play, what was your grandmothers favorite song?"
Andrea smiles, she loves that Miranda understands the deep connect her and her grandmother had. She sits by the piano, Miranda stirs and sets a plate of salad down. The brunette plays a few notes without a theme then she focuses. She doesn't have the music sheets but she doesn't need them, she can play this song in her sleep. 'Unforgettable' by Nat King Cole. The tempo is slow and melancholic, it soaks up all the tears that both women want to shed. Andrea loops it twice, Miranda doesn't seem to notice. When the song ends she's sitting down next to Andrea.
Andrea leans slightly into Miranda and starts playing Cielito Lindo, a Mexican mariachi song that was her and her grandmother's song for each other. She mouths the words, whispering them, knowing Miranda doesn't understand them but can feel the pain hollowed in the syllables.
"We need a song Andrea, what is our song?" she asks she wants to hear Andrea play forever. The Aztec sun has set beyond the hacienda, outside the windows are only shadows.
Andrea doesn't have to think, and Miranda recognizes the song in at the first note.
"Sway, sway with me" she sings softly. Natalie could hear the pair, the piano notes and the wisp of Miranda's voice and she smiles. Miranda and Andrea make the perfect pair, she had so many doubts about them at first. Andrea had always been so reluctant to speak of Miranda, she had practically shunned out love for her former boss. And when Miranda finally showed up, demanding so much Natalie had though she was crazy. But now seeing them together, seeing them endure things that most couples never endure she knows they are meant for something. She doesn't know what the future will bring, but she knows this child will change her life and that if she were ever to be missing, both women would take care of the baby.
Miranda sings Sway constantly, for some reason she has ended up in charge of the domestic work, cooking, cleaning the house, washing the dishes. They don't want to hire help because though they can afford it, they can afford to make over the whole farm, buy cattle and have maids. They choose not to bring attention to themselves. Three women living alone in the south of Mexico. Though it has become less dangerous than the north and the city, there are still dangers lurking below the surface. They try to leave the hacienda as little as possible, Andrea being the only one that speaks Spanish goes to the market, buys food and tells the locals that she's here on vacation from the nearby city.
"Andrea, we can't keep this forever," Miranda says as they crawl into bed a few months later. The upkeep of the terrain has taken a toll on both women. Andrea's hands are cracked and dry, her skin has gotten sunburnt and she is always tired. The week before she bought two cows and a dog. Milky and Mae she named them and Clementine was the scot terrier she had bought. Miranda has ran out to see the puppy and let it sit all over her dark dress.
Clementine slept with Natalie most of the time, no one had told it to. The little puppy had chosen to all on her own.
"I don't think we will have to" Andrea says cuddling up to her lover.
Miranda doesn't push. Natalie is due any day now. All three women are worried, she hasn't seen a doctor for all the pregnancy, and though she herself thinks everything is normal, she worries about the birth, and the baby.
Miranda doesn't sleep that night, she extracts herself from her lover and looks out through the window. The ring on her hand seems to exist in a whole different dimension. The two of them in cocktail dresses and Canadian tea. She thinks of her days at Runway, it is less than two year ago. She spoke to Nigel last week. The closest person she ever had as a friend had called her daughters. They had given her his number.
"Miranda! You disappeared" he said
She didn't reveal much just that she was safe, and happy.
"I'm in Mexico," he told her, "30 minutes out from the city. Lots of tequila here."
"How is the city?" she asked
"Horrid, rampart with crime. People barely exit after 8pm you know. Such a shame, I came out here for so many shoots. It was such a beautiful place, filled with museums, palaces and history." He sounded nostalgic on the phone.
"I don't have a lot of time, Nigel," she sounded agitated her hear beat fast inside her ribcage.
"Of course, well here is what I've got."
He had told her of Elias Clarke, what he knew of the few people that had escaped. All major designers were still good and trending in Europe but the American continent was a mess.
Troops from the EU coalition were marching toward Syria and Russia but the UN had been pretty much dismantled, Section 5 had been called, no one agreed, France left the table.
Various French monuments had been bombed. Refugees were living on the streets. Germany had closed borders too. Miranda knew her daughters were safe, but she worried. She worried that something bad might happen, and she would not be there.
Their chat had been brief but he had told her the New York senator was staying at the house of the Oaxaca governor, a few miles away from where Miranda was. She should pay a visit. Miranda knew that Andrea would disagree. The young lawyer for all her talk of being jaded was still an idealist at heart.
Miranda went because she needed civilization like water in the dessert. Put on her best suit, her best make up, and showed up like she was visiting Valentino at a run through. In the end, she would tell herself she did it for her daughters. It was an excuse that would hold up against everything.
"My, my Miranda!" John Walker exclaimed.
"John, darling Nigel had told me you were here" she said. It was so natural being this other person. The diva everyone admired and respected. She liked it. She had missed it.
"Sit down, let me introduce you to Ramon Aguirre the governor, who graciously offered his home."
"Ms. Priestly I've heard so much about you," the tall governor says in heavy Mexican accent.
"I can't say the same" she deadpans.
"May I offer some whiskey, or wine, tequila perhaps?" the governor tries again.
"Miranda, Ramon here has some tequila to die for, won't you have some?"
Time escapes Miranda, she's not sure what she had expected visiting the senator. He had been a good friend back in New York, his wife Laura was big in the fashion circles. She wasn't sure what she had gone for but she had come out with more than she bargained for. The information she learned ate her at the core. The senator's wife was dead, the governor knew an attack from the drug cartels was coming, they were going to let it happen. Money guaranteed that they were safe. The senator had invested in the area, after the war was over he wanted resorts.
"who knows when the states will be stable and safe, but here, this peninsula. It is paradise on Earth."
"Where the fuck where you?" Andrea asks as she unlocks the door hours later.
"Hello is customary, "
"don't give me your Miranda Priestly dismissive attitude, I've been worried sick. You left before I came back from the market, it's been hours. Fucking hours Miranda, I thought you were dead. Natalie went into labor, I needed you." Andrea sobs between screams and frustration.
"Oh darling" Miranda feels guilt crawl over her.
"you smell like alcohol, Miranda where the fuck where you? Fucking tell me! I … we're in this together! Aren't we? What the fuck is going on? You've been different for days. Natalie had the baby and you weren't here! What is something went wrong? You didn't even care?"
"Jesus Andrea you're being dramatic!"
"Dramatic? Dramatic? Don't give me dramatic. You have no right? You are not fucking Miranda Priestly here! You're nobody, this is my house! My money! You've got no bargaining chip here"
Miranda is silent she's stunned, she hears the coo of a baby nearby and makes an attempt to walk.
"Don't you fucking dare!" Andrea steps in front of her, "you haven't earned the right to."
Miranda stands there alone in the dark kitchen, she doesn't move. She knows she shouldn't have left without telling Andrea, but what would she have told her. She knows it's her fault but she also didn't expect the brunette to hurl the fact that here in Mexico Miranda was practically destitute. She would never have done the same, they were lovers, soulmates, bound by two rings, she's unaware of the tears that fall down her face. She doesn't climb to their shared bedroom instead she opts to go into Natalie's bedroom. The woman is fast asleep, Miranda pulls up the chair next to the bed and sets her head down.
The baby was a girl, Olivia Rose. Olivia for Andrea's grandmother and Rose for Natalie's. The little girl was gorgeous, she had inherited her mother's blue eyes and blond hair. Miranda and Andrea didn't talk for days, expect for the necessary.
"Are you mad at her?" Natalie asks her best friend
"No, "
"you two haven't spoken a word, "
"She still hasn't told me where she went"
Natalie shakes her head, but says nothing.
Miranda goes back to the governor's house, she goes back a few times. They become friends.
"You own the Hacienda on the edge of town?" he asks
She shakes her head, "No it was my friend's family who owned it"
Now she feels like Andrea must feel, trying to hide their relationship. She looks down at her emerald ring and wonders when this madness will end. All she wants to do is go home, to New York and marry Andrea. New York suddenly seems like a fool's errand, she'd settle for Mexico City, with Andrea and Natalie.
Instead she ends up in bed with the senator. She tells herself that this will guarantee they are all safe but she's lying to herself. He wants her to come live at the governors' mansion. They are about to take the haciendas from the people, he confides in her. She spends all night holding little Olivia, Natalie knows something is off.
"Miranda?" she asks
"Natalie, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I just forgot how beautiful holding a baby is"
Natalie smiles in the darkness, "Miranda somethings wrong. I can tell. Tell me"
"Nothing is wrong, Andrea and I had a fight'
"A month ago!" Natalie corrects, "You two had a fight a month ago and you've made no attempt to fix it. For someone who traveled across the nation twice to patch a love you don't seem interested any more. Is that it? Have you lost interest? This domestic, deglamorized, no longer powerful attorney doesn't do it for you? Miranda, Andrea loves you. I hope you know how much."
"I know how much Natalie. I love her the same" Miranda hands the baby to its mother and walks out of the room.
Natalie shakes her head, Miranda is hiding something.
The coup doesn't come right away, in fact it takes months in the making.
Miranda and Andrea don't talk about that night, but they patch over whatever is hiding between then. Miranda goes back to sleep with Andrea and the make love every night. Andrea wants to hold on to the older lover, she's always felt at a disadvantage Miranda was too much for her, too beautiful, too glamorous, too grand. She felt her lover slipping from her hands. It could not be right? Miranda had said she loved her, she wanted to marry her. Miranda's two previous marriages came to mind and suddenly that didn't seem so important. Those thoughts plagued Andrea often, as her head rested down Miranda's thighs, as her lips licked her porcelain skin, as her hands roamed the deep expanses of heat.
Miranda felt guilt every time she touched Andrea, she was hiding so much from her. She wasn't sure why. She wasn't sure why she always hurt those she loved, she could not help it. They always forgave her. Would Andrea forgive her?
Olivia turned a year a day after the guns rattled all over the little town. Andrea had been away at the market, Miranda didn't know the exact day. She had thought that perhaps they had retracted, but they hand not.
Miranda went to the governor's every time Andrea went to the market now. Natalie watched her leave, didn't mention a thing to Andrea.
The raids were fast and violent, news traveled to the market fast. Andrea drove faster than she ever had. She'd never forget the scene, the blood dripping from the door, drops one after the other. It really does slide down slowly, like the movies show it. She can't move for long moments. Then she runs all over the house, and doesn't see Miranda, but Natalie is lying next to the kitchen door. The blood is hers, "Andy!"
"Natalie, you're going to be okay, it's going to be okay" she stammers holding the open wound that has stained the light blue dress, her long blond tresses are stained with blood too and her usual bubbling eyes, are red and stormy.
"No, I won't. I'm a doctor Andrea remember? No lies" she murmurs in chills and teeth clattering. Andrea has to be the strong one.
"Promise me you'll watch over Olivia? I want her to live with you. When all this is over, I want her to stay with you. Do not ever give her to my parent's" she whispers.
Andrea nods.
"Promise me, Andrea!" the dying woman screams and winces from pain.
"Promise" she whispers and hears the baby cry in the distance.
"Promise me you'll tell her about me, and watch her grow into a happy woman. And if .." she gasps for air every few seconds"
Andrea wants to tell her to stop trying, to save her strength but she knows she can't save her friend. She'd need an ambulance and a hospital that would not report back to the governor.
"And if… if Miranda isn't there with you…. Pr… Promise me you'll … you'll be strong alone."
"I promise" she says and wonders why Natalie would say that.
It doesn't' take more than 10 minutes for Natalie to stop breathing. She sits there for hours, ignoring the child crying and the distant gun sounds. Like solitary booms in a ghost town. Natalie's hands are cold and hard, she'll have to bury her. She'll do that tomorrow. What time is it? The harsh exhaustion of tears hit her, her eyes fell like sandpaper and her body wants to lie down next to Natalie's.
Images of them in college flash through her mind, time has gone by so quickly.
She hears the click of heels.
"Get up" Miranda instructs.
"Miranda, Oh my god, I though they took you too" Andrea says, and tears of relief wash over the young woman. She felt so alone, so cold, so abandoned. Where was God she had thought. The God that her parent's spoke of. The one her grandmother prayed to religiously every day, clear rosary pearls passing through wrinkled hands slowly. The God that this whole damn country believed in, pilgrimaging to the Basilica and the Cathedral. She wanted to ask God personally why he would let all this happen. How could he punish sin, love, like Miranda and hers and not do a single thing to save a whole country drowning in war. She wanted to but she could not because deep inside she still believed in every single word her grandmother had made her repeat as a child. They say that a Catholic's faith is never lost just forgotten. And she was remembering every verse,
'Our father who are in heaven…" she had prayed crouching against the wall, hoping the distant shots would end soon, and the sirens would quiet down and Miranda would return. Hoping that they can be safe, and the war be over and the US free. That she can see her mother and father and that Miranda can see the twins.
She is living on hope.
"Get up" Miranda repeats she's holding the child and a suitcase.
Andrea looks up at the harsh words of her lover and finally takes in how Miranda looks.
She's not disheveled or dirty; she's wearing a black pencil skirt part of a suit, with white embroidery on the left shoulder. It looks like something out of a 1940's movie, she's got small heels on and she doesn't recognize the suitcase. The child is wrapped in an elegant blanket.
"What … where are you going?" Andrea asks confused, grabbing on to the wall and the floor to get up.
"I don't have time to explain. I need you to take this and Olivia and go," she says in her Miranda Priestly voice.
"Go where?" Andrea starts confused, she doesn't understand what is happening.
"If you had been here they would have killed you too. They are taking the land. You need to go," she repeats and shoves the child into Andrea's arms.
"And you?" she asks afraid of the answer.
"You can't go to the house in the city. The government is repossessing the mansions in that area, using them as communication centers. I need you to follow these instructions," she hands Andrea a piece of paper and puts the suitcase on the floor. "I need you to leave now."
"You betrayed me, again? You hurt someone you love to… said to love… and only thought of yourself," Andrea asks but there is no question in her voice. No raised syllable, no expectation of an answer.
Miranda turns around and walks away.
"Fuck you Miranda! We saved your life! And you throw us out like nothing!"
"You wouldn't understand" the diva murmurs with a slight shake of her hand.
"What wouldn't I understand? That everyone wants to be you?"
Miranda knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard. Would it ever be excusable what she is doing? True love would risk fleeing with Andrea, they would figure out everything along the way. The love she professed back at Andrea's Chicago loft would never abandon. Perhaps she had been mistaken, perhaps it had never been love. She told herself she had to be safe and have the means to bring her daughters back, Andrea would understand that, one day.
She had to.