Chapter 14

ONE YEAR LATER

"Mr. Toshiro to see you, sir," Mrs. Chiyo said to Sasuke's back.

Sasuke didn't bother to turn around, but gave a nod as he continued staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows. Suna lay thirty stories below, the people and cars looking like toys. He didn't know why he still bothered hiring the private detectives. Twelve months ago his whole life revolved around the reports of the first one he'd hired. The reports were called in daily, and Sasuke took the calls wherever he was. But when the detective could find no trace of Mrs. Sakura Senju and her baby son, Sasuke had fired the man and hired someone else.

In the last year he'd hired and fired more detectives than he could count. He'd tried everyone from sleazy guys whose ads promised to catch any cheating husband to men retired from service. But no one could find the single woman and her little boy.

"You have nothing to go on," he'd been told again and again—and it was true. First of all, there were no photos of Sakura past the age of twelve. Tsunade, her mother-in-law, had taken pictures of her grandson, but Sakura wasn't in them. The people in Sakura's hometown said that the house Sakura had grown up in burned down the week after Sakura's mother's death, so maybe all the pictures of her had been destroyed then. Maddeningly, Sakura seemed to have been absent every time photos were taken for the high school yearbook.

The detectives said that all she had to do was go to some two-bit lawyer in some one-horse town and change her name. The lawyer would run the announcement in some local rag sheet and, "Not even God would read it," one detective said. And with a new name, Sakura could be anywhere. The world was full of single women with kids and no fathers.

One by one, Sasuke fired each man; the truth was too painful to hear. So now he'd spent a whole year paying people to look for one woman and one child and they'd come up with nothing.

Sasuke heard the current detective enter the room, but he didn't bother to turn around. It wasn't until the man cleared his throat that Sasuke whirled about. "What are you doing here?" he snapped, for Naruto stood there.

"Wait!" Naruto said as Sasuke was about to press the button that called his secretary into the office. "Please, five minutes; that's all I ask."

Sasuke moved his finger off the buzzer, but by his stance, he wasn't softening. "Five minutes, no more. Say it, then get out."

Instead of opening his mouth to speak, Naruto thrust his hands in his trousers' pockets and walked about the room. "I always hate your offices," he said conversationally. "They're always so cold, all that glass and these pictures! Who chooses them for you?" When he looked back at his brother, Sasuke was scowling.

"Four minutes," Sasuke said.

"Want to see pictures of my wedding?"

Sasuke didn't answer, just glared at his brother. A year before on that horrible morning when Sasuke woke up to find Sakura and Kenji gone, he and Naruto had had a fight in which they'd nearly killed each other. Naruto blamed Sasuke for everything, saying he drove Sakura and Kenji out into the snow, with no means of support, no friends or family, no help of any kind.

And Sasuke blamed his brother for having started it all in the first place. But in spite of the argument, Sasuke had a search party looking for Sakura within an hour of waking up. But by then the trail was already cold. A woman traveling alone with a baby was too common a sight and an unremarkable one; no one had noticed either of them.

It was after the disappearance that the real rift between the brothers came, because Hyuga took Naruto's side. Sasuke's loyal secretary, a woman who had been Sasuke's right arm for years, was suddenly his enemy. For the first time since he'd known her, she'd stood against her employer and told him what she thought of him.

"No wonder she left you," Hyuga had said, quietly at first, but her voice came from deep within her and carried more volume than the loudest siren. "You have no heart, Sasuke Uchiha. You look at people as goods to be bought and sold. You think that because you pay me a high salary, you can treat me as though I'm not human. You thought because you bought Sakura's baby a roomful of furniture that she would fall down at your feet in everlasting gratitude. But the only thing men like you foster is greed. You made me want more and more money from you until I was beginning to despise myself. But I need my self-respect back, so I'm leaving your employment."

Nothing in the world could have stunned Sasuke more than Hyuga's defection. When he turned away, he expected never to hear from her again, but that was far from what actually happened, for three months later he received an invitation to the wedding of Dr. Naruto Uchiha and Miss Hinata Hyuga.

To Sasuke, still trying his best to find Sakura and Kenji, the marriage seemed the ultimate betrayal. Now, he could hardly bear the sight of his brother. If Naruto hadn't called him and made up that lie that their father was dying . . . If Naruto hadn't thought he was in love with a widow with a baby . . . If Sasuke hadn't fallen for Naruto's hard-luck story . . .

"What do you want?" Sasuke demanded, glaring at his brother.

"Family, that's all. Getting married, settling down, changes a man. I want you to come to Christmas dinner. Hinata's a fine cook."

"She has a nice kitchen to do it in," Sasuke said, remembering the bill he'd received for the addition of a fabulous kitchen to his father's house. And that was another thing: his chef had left him to try to start his own business in gourmet baby food. Sasuke had tried to be pleased when he heard that Hiro wasn't doing very well, but instead he felt bad for his former cook. Hiro's cocky arrogance didn't go over too well with bankers, and he'd had no luck in finding the funds to back his business.

"Is that still bothering you?" Naruto snapped. "Damnation, but I'll pay you back for the bloody kitchen. I don't know how, but I'll do it."

Suddenly, Naruto sat down on a chair across from Sasuke, who was standing rigid behind his desk. "What do you want from all of us? What do you want from life? Do you think that if you find Sakura, she's going to come back to you and live inside your golden cage? She didn't want to be a prisoner, no matter how beautiful the surroundings. Can't you understand that? Can't you forgive her? Forgive me?"

Sasuke didn't move, but stood still as he stared at his brother. How could he explain that for a few short days he had been happy? Plain, old-fashioned happy. During his time with Sakura and Kenji, it had given him pleasure to buy things for other people, to do things, to listen, to laugh. Sakura had a way about her—

He had to cut himself off from thinking about her or he'd go crazy. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about how old Kenji was now. He was walking by now, maybe even talking.

Or maybe he wasn't. For all he knew, Sakura and Kenji were dead. There were some awful people out there in the world and—

"I can see that you won't give up," Naruto said as he stood. "But then, that's what makes you strong. And makes you weak. Look, it's Christmas Eve and I need to fly home. I want you to come with me, and—"

"I have plans," Sasuke said, glaring at his brother. Tonight his apartment would be full of people, for tonight was the anniversary of the last time he'd seen Sakura and Kenji. Tonight he was going to drink champagne until he was drunk, and tomorrow he was not going to wake up alone.

"All right, I tried," Naruto said as he started for the door. "If you need us you know where we are." He started to say more, but at the stony look on his brother's face, he shrugged, then walked to the door. But he paused with his hand on the knob. "I know you're still grieving for Sakura and Kenji, but there are other people in this world. There are even other children." When Sasuke made no reply, Naruto sighed and left the office.

Sasuke buzzed his secretary. "Call Tiffany's and have them send me a selection of engagement rings."

"Engagement?" Mrs. Chiyo said.

"Yes!" he snapped, then punched the button to cut her off.

###

"Oh, Sasuke, Darling ," Karin purred as she rubbed her perfectly toned body against his. "The party is perfect." Somehow, she made the word sound like "Purrrrrfect." "I have never seen so many famous people in one room before."

Sasuke sat on the chair in silence as he sipped what had to be his fifth glass of champagne and looked at all the people. They were indeed famous and rich, he thought, as well as beautiful. The women had that glossy sheen that came from many hours spent in beauty salons the world over. Their skin and hair glowed with health and cosmetics that cost more than the resources of several small countries combined.

"What's wrong with you?" Karin asked, a slight frown marring her perfect forehead, although Sasuke knew that it hadn't been perfect when she was born. It had been "lifted," as most of her had been lifted and augmented. She looked about twenty-seven, but Sasuke chuckled as he realized that it wouldn't surprise him to find out that Karin was seventy-five years old.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked. She was perched on the arm of his chair, her long, lean, well-muscled thigh within reaching distance.

"I was wondering how old you are."

Karin almost choked on her drink, and he could see spots of anger growing on her perfectly made-up cheeks. "You're in a mood tonight, aren't you?" she said, her lips tight. "Why don't you get up and talk to your guests?"

Suddenly her face brightened, as though she wouldn't allow herself to get angry with him. "I know what would cheer you up. How about if I give you your Christmas gift now?"

"I have enough ties," he said.

"No, silly, it's not a tie; it's . . ." Leaning over so her breasts were against his shoulder, she whispered her plans for seduction.

Drawing back, Sasuke gave her a small smile. "Don't you think I should stay out here with my guests?"

At that, he could see a look of hurt in her eyes. She got up and walked away, leaving him alone.

When she was gone, Sasuke didn't know whether to be glad or to feel even more alone than he usually did. Damn his brother, he thought yet again. He'd been doing fine until Naruto showed up with his talk of marriage and a family. That visit, combined with it being Christmas Eve and the anniversary of Sakura's disappearance, was about to unhinge him.

Sasuke had anticipated that tonight would be difficult, so he'd hired a well-known interior designer to put on a party in his apartment that would take his mind off his troubles. And Sasuke had to admit that the designer had done a bang-up job, as the party was exquisite. The decorations were magnificent, with crystals sparkling in candlelight in the designer's theme of silver and white.

The food was wonderful, each mouthful a delight. Or at least that's what Sasuke had been told; personally, he hadn't touched anything but the champagne.

So if everything in his life was wonderful, why was he so miserable? Sure he'd lost a woman he thought he loved, but didn't other people break up every day? And did they go into a decline that a year later still haunted them?

Sasuke knew that if he had any sense, he'd do what he had been advised by everyone from the detectives to his own brother and forget about finding one woman and a little boy. As one of the detectives had said, "If I had your money, I wouldn't be worried about any woman; I'd buy myself all of them." Sasuke had fired the man on the spot and had tried to clear the words from his head.

But now, looking at the glittering people in the glittering apartment, he remembered them. "Buy myself all of them," the man had said. And wasn't that what Sakura had said, more or less? That Sasuke was trying to buy himself a family?

He signaled the waiter to refill his glass, then kept on staring at his guests. In the last year Sasuke had done everything he could to forget that last night with Sakura. Twelve whole months of refusing to think about it, to remember it. Twelve long months of hanging on to his anger. If she'd just listened to him . . . If she had thought about his side of things . . . If she'd just been willing to wait until the morning to talk . . .

Sasuke drained the glass, then held it up for another refill. But tonight, in spite of the fact that he was in very different surroundings and the giant tree in the corner bore no resemblance to the one he and Sakura had decorated, it was as though he were back with her.

Images came before him until he could hardly see the roomful of people. He remembered Sakura laughing, Sakura teasing, Sakura's excitement at being able to buy her child some furniture.

The waiter started to fill Sasuke's glass again, but he waved him away; then Sasuke put his hand over his eyes for a moment. For the first time since Sakura left he thought, Why didn't I listen?

His head came up, and he looked about him. No one was looking at him. No, they were all too busy looking at each other and enjoying Sasuke's food and drink to give a thought to their host, who was quietly sitting in a corner and going mad.

I am going mad, he thought. For one whole year he hadn't had a moment's peace. He'd tried to carry on a life, but he hadn't been able to. He'd dated women, beautiful women, and today he'd even thought that he'd ask this latest one, Karin, to marry him. Maybe marriage was what he needed to make him forget. Maybe if he had a child of his own . . .

Breaking off, his breath caught in his throat. What was it Naruto had said? There are "other children." In Sasuke's mind there was only one child: Kenji.

But he'd lost that child because he had—

Again Sasuke rubbed his hand over his eyes. Maybe it was all the alcohol he'd consumed; maybe it was the anniversary, but tonight he couldn't work up his usual anger at himself, at Naruto, at the town of Konoha, at his father, at anyone.

"She left because of me," Sasuke said to himself.

"Sasuke, come and join us," said a man to his right.

Sasuke recognized him as the CEO of one of the largest corporations in the world. He'd come to the party because he was afraid he was about to be fired, so he was trying to get a job with Sasuke. In truth, every person in the room was there because he wanted something from Sasuke.

Shaking his head, Sasuke turned away from the man. Sakura left because Sasuke had wanted to put her in a house and leave her there. He'd wanted to take away her freedom, her free will, all while causing himself no inconvenience whatever.

It was a hard truth to look at, Sasuke thought, very, very hard. And if he'd succeeded in persuading Sakura to marry him, where would he be tonight?

He'd be here, he thought, just as he was right now, because he would have continued to think that CEOs were important people.

And where would Sakura be? he wondered, and he knew the answer. He would have bullied her into attending also. He would have told her that, as his wife, she had an obligation to attend his business parties and help him earn money.

Money, he thought as he looked about at the people in the room. The sparkle of the jewelry on them was enough to blind a person. "You'd swallow me up," Sakura had said. He hadn't understood a word she'd said that night, but now he did. He could see her in this glass-and-chrome room, with its designer tree and the well-designed people, and he could almost feel her misery.

"Other children," Naruto had said. "Other children."

Maybe he couldn't have Kenji or Sakura, but maybe he could do something in life rather than make money.

"Other children," he said aloud.

Instantly, Karin was at his side, and Sasuke looked at her as though he'd never seen her before.

Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew the ring with the huge sapphire and handed it to her.

"Oh, Sasuke, darling, I accept. Gladly." Ostentatiously, making sure everyone in the room saw, she reached up to put her arms around his neck, but Sasuke gently took her wrists and put them down at her sides.

"I'm sorry I've been a bastard. I think you already know that I'm no good for you," he said.

"But, I want you to have this ring. Wear it in good health." He looked away, then looked back at her. "Unfortunately I have to cut this evening short; I've just remembered somewhere I have to be." With that he turned away from her and went into the hallway. Ishio, his butler, was right behind him.

"Going out, sir?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered as the man held up his coat and Sasuke slipped his arms inside.

"And when shall I say that you'll return?"

Sasuke looked back at the party. "I don't think I will return. See that everyone is taken care of."

"Very good, sir." Ishio then handed Sasuke his cell phone, something that Sasuke was never, ever without. Sasuke took the instrument, then looked at it as though he'd never seen it before.

In the next second he dropped the thing into the trash bin; then he started for the door.

"Sir!" Ishio said, for the first time losing his composure. "What if there is an emergency? What if you're needed? Where can you be reached?"

Sasuke paused for a moment. "I need to talk to somebody who knows what it feels like to lose a child. You know that little church over the Street? Try me there."

As his butler's jaw dropped, Sasuke left the apartment.