Holy moly it's been 3 years… So much has changed but I had the overwhelming urge to write again so here it is. Hopefully I get back into the swing of things. Let me know what you think!

XOXO

Two weeks had gone by without incident. Two weeks of Bellamy keeping his distance from his sister's building; insisting that they meet out for coffee, or at the library, or at his apartment. Anywhere Bellamy could ensure he wouldn't run into the blonde plaguing his thoughts. And god, was he having thoughts. He absentmindedly toyed with the pen in his hand, mind racing to things he most certainly shouldn't be thinking while in a public setting.

His concentration was snapped back to the present by a straw wrapper bouncing off of his forehead.

"Earth to Bellamy." Finn's voice cut through Bellamy's daydream. "Did you make a decision?"

"A decision?" Bellamy questioned and wiped his palms on his pants legs. A nervous habit he hadn't been able to shake since childhood.

Finn feigned hurt as he placed his hand over his heart. "Bellamy Blake… were you… ignoring me?" Bellamy rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on the table between them.

"Can it, Collins. Just tell me again."

"I said," Finn looked at his roommate pointedly, "will you help me at this catering event? It's going to be good money. I'm talking, make-our-rent-in-one-night kind of money." Finn rubbed his fingers together to emphasize his point.

Bellamy groaned and leaned his chair back on two legs, teetering dangerously. He tossed his pen on the table in front of him and watched it roll across his open notebook. "Yeah, sure. I love to dress in uncomfortable clothes and serve the undeniably rich on my days off from this hell. You truly get me."

Finn blatantly ignored the biting sarcasm as he pulled his phone out to shoot a text to his boss, letting him know that he had found extra help. "You might want to tone down the dramatics, Blake. I'll start calling you Octavia."

The front legs of the chair clanked to the ground as Bellamy righted himself with force and leveled a glare at the boy in front of him.

…

"Bellamy are you even listening to me?" Bellamy blinked as a hand waved in front of his face, pulling him from where his mind had wandered. Again. Grumpily, he leaned an elbow on the bar top and rested his chin in his hand as he looked at his sister. "Where has your head been lately, Bell? I feel like I have to anchor you to every conversation."

"You and me both." She heard Finn mumble as he rounded the bar and pulled food from the window to take to his table.

"I'm sorry, O." he said earnestly, "What were you saying?"

Octavia blew out an annoyed breath and flung her hair over her shoulder dramatically, leaning across the bar. "I was asking you if you wanted to do anything special over fall break." Her eyes looked hopeful as she stared at her older brother. Bellamy heaved a deep sigh and ran a hand down his tired face.

"O, I promised Finn I'd help him with a gig. I'd bail if it wasn't such good money." Bellamy's heart dropped when he saw the disappointed look on his little sister's face. "But I promise you that I'll save up for one of the school breaks so that we can go somewhere or do something. Spring break, I'm yours." Octavia tapped the bar with her fingers – a tick she had picked up from watching her brother over the years – and leaned heavily against her own arm.

"I'll hold you to that." She muttered under her breath, drawing circles on the smooth bar top and watching her own fingers move. Bellamy heard a bell sound and removed several plates of food from the service window, balancing them precariously on his arms. The heat from each plate barely affected him, his nerves dull to the sensations after years of serving. He came around the bar and leaned in to kiss his little sister on the top of her head before carrying the plates to the correct table. His heart warmed as he watched the corner of her mouth tilt up into a hidden smile.

Bellamy had almost forgotten why he worked so hard and for whom. He vowed to keep from letting visions of a certain bodacious blonde occupy his mind and take away from the only other person who had ever mattered to him.

…

Clarke quietly walked down an elegant hallway, her nose buried deep into a paperback book. There was no need for her to tear her eyes from the pages. She grew up running these halls. She could walk them blindfolded and dodge every sharp corner and potted plant. She equally adored and hated how at home she felt within the suffocating mansion. She paused after hearing muffled voices coming from her father's study. Jake Griffin was a private man. He did what he could to soundproof the large room where he conducted his business dealings, but there was not much he could do to block the angry voices quickly rising in volume. Clarke quickly back-stepped and tilted her head closer to the crack in the door. The thick wood doors made it nearly impossible to make out actual words of what was being said. Only that it was being said loudly. She stood so close she could feel her ear lightly brush against the wood of the door.

"Clarke? What're you doing by the study?" Clarke's heart felt like it almost burst from her chest as she jumped from the unexpected presence coming up the stairs. She turned to face her mother coming up the ornate staircase, her satin house robe sweeping out behind her. Clarke was momentarily distracted by the suspicion on her own mother's face and took a large step away from the alcove that the doors were settled in.

"Just looking for Dad." Clarke lied and tucked her forgotten paperback against her chest. She held it like a shield between her and her mother. What Clarke felt like she needed protection from, she had no idea.

"Well he has some business associates in there. They're discussing some changes to a few of the clubs." Abigail Griffin spoke slowly, eyeing her face as if to catch Clarke in a lie. "Go on and get ready, we're going out for dinner tonight."

Clarke reluctantly stepped away from the study doors, the muffled voices no longer audible. She had known about her father's business dealings for years – even accepted them on some level, but she couldn't seem to shake the pit in her stomach this time.

…

The little café had become a haven after a long night of drinking too much and staying out too late. The dull overhead lights eased the aching in their eyes and the coffee was just strong enough to bite through their bitter hangovers. The group sat at one of the booths tucked off to the side, giggling as they each retold different events that had happened the night before. Clarke leaned back in the wide bench seat with a smile tugging at her lips as she looked around their ragtag group of friends. Jasper and Monty had rolled several straw wrappers into balls and were attempting to land them in other's drinks, specifically Ravens. As if on instinct, Raven covered the top of her coffee mug with her hand, all the while not breaking from the conversation she was having with Octavia.

Clarke's eyes glazed over as she thought about the night before. It had been over a month since she had run into Bellamy. She hadn't been able to help the way her eyes scanned each party they went to; hoping to land on dark curls, hoping to catch him by the keg or at the beer pong table. She hated herself for the ache in her stomach when he wasn't there. She knew she was being unreasonable. The only interaction they had ever had was when they were at each other's throats with biting words or secretly hooking up with each other. And that had only happened twice. She could vaguely hear the sounds of the conversation around her, hearing more of the vibrations of the words and not making out the actual words themselves. Faintly, she heard a bell jingle as someone walked in the door but did not register it until someone was climbing over the back of the booth and plopping down next to her on the vinyl; squeezing tightly between her and Raven.

"Hey little Blake." Clarke's eyes roamed the profile of the boy beside her, immediately agitated that her personal space had been invaded. She noted he was conventionally attractive with shoulder length hair and teasing brown eyes. Eyes a much lighter shade than the ones she had found herself looking for every Saturday night. He turned those eyes on her, flashing a bright smile and winking in her direction; but Clarke saw something flash in his eyes as he looked at her. Recognition.

Clarke visibly swallowed. Where would we know each other from? Clarke blanched at the thought that this boy might be connected to her family in some way.

"Finn," Octavia rolled her eyes at him as if he was annoying her just by being there. "Where's your sidekick?"

As if on cue, Bellamy strolled into the café and his eyes landed on Clarke. Her skin prickled under his gaze as she reminisced on the memories of what it felt like to be under much more than his stare. He shoved his hands in his pockets and casually walked to the booth. Octavia attempted to shoo over the rest of the people in the booth to make room for him before he grabbed a chair from a nearby table and turned it to sit at the head of the table. He met Clarke's eyes again and she looked away as casually as she could before catching Finn glance between her and Bellamy knowingly. Clarke's mind jumped to an early morning she had willed herself to forget as her mind flooded with hurried 'good mornings' and awkward rushing. Finn must've been the guy in the kitchen. The realization that he wasn't involved with her family made Clarke relax down deeper into the booth. The realization that he knew what transpired between her and Bellamy made her cheeks tint with a light pink and she tensed up again.

"Hey Bell. I'm surprised we didn't see you out last night." Bellamy tore his eyes away from Clarke long enough to fix a sweet smile on his sister. Clarke watched his lips move over the words while he spoke.

"I had assignments to finish." Bellamy avoided Clarke's direction and took the opportunity to look around the rest of the table, making a mental note of how close Jasper was sitting to Octavia. The younger boy stirred under Bellamy's stare.

"Big Blake has become quite the student." Finn teased, reaching over to pull part of Raven's muffin to his mouth.

"By all means… Have some muffin." Raven grumbled and leveled a glare at the brunette. He replied with a smile and playful nudge with his elbow. Brushing crumbs off of his hands, he extended one to the obviously pissed off girl next to him.

"Finn Collins. Tall, dark, and brooding's partner in crime." It was said with such a matter-of-factness it was immediately perceived to be true. It wasn't a reach to believe this mischievous trouble maker who made himself comfortable regardless of not being invited.

Raven loosely shook his hand and rolled her eyes to the back of her head at the same time. She introduced herself, as well as the others sitting around the table. Clarke found her eyes being drawn back to Bellamy at the head of the table like the group's impromptu ringleader. Suddenly the café felt stifling. Mumbling something about needing to make a call, Clarke slid out of the booth and walked to the door of the café with purpose. Her bare arm brushed against the back of Bellamy as she walked by his chair and she didn't particularly care for the goosebumps that erupted over her skin.

Once outside, Clarke rested against the brick wall of the café and closed her eyes. Her head scratched against the rough brick but she hardly noticed. She felt the looming presence next to her before she opened her eyes and saw him. Bellamy leaned against the wall next to her, cupping his hands around his mouth to block the wind and light a cigarette. Clarke glared through the tendrils of smoke.

"Long time no see, Princess."

"Do you mind?" Clarke waved her hand through the smoke, wafting it away from her face.

"Then maybe you shouldn't stand next to the ash tray." Clarke looked to her right to see a grey standing ash tray. She turned and faced Bellamy now, leaning her side against the brick wall.

"Are you here to chastise me for hanging out with Octavia again?" She deflected.

Bellamy took a long drag from his cigarette and leveled with Clarke's defiant glare. He didn't answer her question and opted for focusing on the way her chest heaved with forced anger.

"Stop looking at me." Clarke demanded.

"Where would you like me to look then, Princess?" Bellamy taunted her. Cocking an eyebrow while a smirk played at the corner of his lips. Clarke huffed and pushed off the wall to walk back into the café. She didn't owe him a conversation. She didn't owe him anything. A strong grip on her upper arm turned her back around to a haze of smoke. "If Octavia gets hurt from being around you, I will make you wish you stayed away from the beginning."

Clarke yanked her arm out of Bellamy's grasp and narrowed her blue eyes, staring directly into his dark brown ones. Her heart rate increased at the implication of his words. Bellamy obviously knew more about her life than she first figured. The life she had taken precautions to keep hidden from the friends she had made at school. For once, Clarke struggled to find the words she so badly wanted to use as a weapon against him. Wordlessly, she plucked his cigarette out from his fingers and dropped it on the ground to stomp out with her toe. Bellamy's mouth dropped open like he couldn't believe the audacity. Smirking, Clarke turned to return to her friends and left Bellamy to stare at her retreating form.

…

Clarke told herself that she wanted to go out because she was trying to get the most out of her time at school. She told herself it wasn't because she was forced to interact with Bellamy Blake and that her strong craving for something strong in her glass wasn't a result of their heated words outside of the café. So much for being a haven. She shuffled her feet when she climbed out of the taxi, waiting for her other friends to climb out behind her. She reached down to tug on the top of her black, velvet thigh-high boots and then moved to adjust the tight olive green dress. The dress hugged her body like a second skin and the hemline stopped a generous amount above her knees. It was an outfit her dad never would have allowed her to leave the house in and that thought made her feel rebellious and daring.

The rest of the group piled out of the cab and made their way to the front door of the house. Other students were milling around on the lawn with red solo cups in their hands and the sound of music inside was significantly muffled. Clarke and Octavia threaded their fingers together so as to not lose each other as they stepped into the crowded house together. It was significantly warmer in the house and Clarke felt sweat prickle at her collarbone while they weaved their way through the crowd. Finding an open spot, Octavia pulled a small bottle of vodka and two shot glasses out of her purse. Filling the glasses to the rims, the girls clinked them together and tipped them back in one breath. Clarke grimaced as the shot burned down her throat and reverberated in her stomach. Let the night begin.

…

Clarke wasn't sure how long they had been in the house. She could feel her hair getting frizzier in the intense heat inside. Bodies seemed to be all around her but they moved in slow motion as Clarke's alcohol riddled brain slowed the world around her. Octavia and Raven were on the dance floor dancing flush against each other, laughing while some of the surrounding guys watched appreciatively. Jasper and Monty had long since stumbled down to the basement with another group to break out the stash of weed they had brought. She stumbled outside, taking deep breaths of the fresh air like she hadn't been breathing the entire time she had been inside. She stumbled around the corner and her eyes fell on a familiar back. He was talking to Finn and another girl, all three of them smoking by the side of the house.

Finn noticed her first. She struggled walking in a straight line to the group and the walk seemed to take ages. Clarke was surprised it was still dark out it had taken so long to get to the object of her attention. Finn tilted his head towards her to acknowledge her presence and signaled Bellamy to turn around. "Harper, why don't I make you my signature drink. I guarantee it'll be the best thing you won't remember." Finn confidently took the girl's hand and led her around the corner, leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone.

Neither broke the silence at first and they just stared at each other. Clarke swaying on her feet slightly and Bellamy puffing on the cigarette between his lips. Clarke's lips and throat suddenly felt dry and she struggled to form the words she wanted to.

"Those things will kill you." She settled on accusingly, nodding towards the cigarette in his hand.

"Says the girl whose liver won't make it to her senior year."

"I'll have you know I have a very strong liver." Clarke accentuated her point by poking her index finger into his chest. Bellamy grabbed her hand before she could pull it away and yanked her closer to him. She drunkenly lost her footing and tumbled into him, giving him an excuse to put his hand on her waist to steady her. The couple stared at each other, not saying anything.

They were far from alone. They knew just around the corner at the front of the house people were taking in the fresh air. They knew that just inside were dozens of people. Yet, they stared at each other like they were alone. Bellamy tugged on Clarke again and she stumbled to lean against the side of the house. Bellamy pressed against her, still just staring in her eyes almost predatorily. Clarke splayed her hand on his chest and could feel that his heart was pounding just as hard as hers. She briefly thought about pushing him away for being so bold, but she was more interested in finding out if his curls were as soft as they looked. Her hand slowly slid up his chest and around the back of his neck to tangle her fingers in the locks at the nape of his neck.

Bellamy's breath caught in his throat and he watched Clarke's eyes flick down to his lips. "I should go find Finn." He said, forcing the words out. His voice cracked as the words slipped through his dry throat.

"You should." Clarke agreed, but neither of them moved.

"You should go home before you get in trouble." Bellamy leaned down closer to her face, watching her eyes flutter shut the closer he got.

"I should." Clarke agreed again, so close to Bellamy that their lips ghosted against each other. Bellamy pressed against her lips softly, as if he were trying to not spook a wild animal. Clarke responded by closing her fist in his curls and aggressively bringing his lips against hers again. Bellamy groaned into her mouth and pushed her harder against the house. The siding dug into Clarke's back but she couldn't bring herself to care as she melded her body against his. Bellamy's hands roamed over her hip, bunching the fabric of the dress in his hand and hiking it up. His tongue brushed against hers and Clarke responded by nipping at his lower lip. Bellamy ground his hips against her, eliciting a guttural moan that sounded like heaven.

"Bellamy…" His heart constricted at the sound of his name coming from her mouth. He wanted to hear it again. He ran his hand down her outer thigh and moved slowly back up her inner thigh, getting closer and closer to the hem of her dress. Bellamy vaguely thought about how impractical such short dresses were, but the thought was quickly rushed out of his mind as his fingers hit lace and he thanked the stars for whoever started the trend of impractically short dresses. Clarke's breath hitched in her throat and her head tilted back against the house. Bellamy peppered kisses down her neck, taking his time on the outside of the lace.

"I DON'T KNOW OCTAVIA. I DIDN'T SEE THEM OUT HERE." They heard Finn practically yell from the front of the house. Clarke and Bellamy broke away from each other, chests heaving.

"Why are you yelling? Stop being weird." Octavia's voice drifted around the corner as the two continued to stare at each other. Bellamy cleared his throat and took a large step away from the blonde in front of him. He fished his crushed pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket and shoved one between his lips before patting his pockets for his lighter. The air suddenly seemed frigid without his body against hers and he needed to do something with his hands. Clarke was still leaning against the side of the house like she was frozen when Octavia wandered around the corner.

"There you guys are. What're you two doing out here?" Octavia made her way to the pair and crossed her arms over her chest to fight off the chilling night air. Finn followed behind her apologetically.

"Princess here was just lecturing me on healthy habits." Bellamy tilted his head up and blew smoke, never breaking eye contact with Clarke. Her eyes narrowed at him.

"It's a bad habit to have." Clarke bit out. She wasn't sure if she was angry at the fact she had given in to Bellamy again or the fact they had been interrupted. Maybe she was just angry in general.

"I seem to have a few habits I can't shake." Bellamy winked behind his sister's head and Clarke shivered at the double meaning behind his words. Octavia didn't seem to notice.

"Do you guys want to share a cab home? I think Raven and I are ready to take off. Jasper and Monty are hanging out longer." Octavia reached for Bellamy's cigarette and took a long drag.

"Bellamy and I drove here. Besides, we have a lot to catch each other up on." Finn stood next to Bellamy, his lips setting into an uncharacteristically stern line. Bellamy never took his eyes off of Clarke.

"Suit yourselves." Octavia shrugged, pulling Clarke's hand. "Be safe, Bell!" she called over her shoulder. When the two girls disappeared around the corner, Finn let out of long breath through his teeth.

"So the 'avoiding Clarke Griffin' thing is going swimmingly, I see."

Bellamy didn't answer his roommate, choosing to instead run his hands up and down his face and through his hair, tugging on the ends. "I'm fucked."

Finn couldn't even laugh.