Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Bold Italics = Wolf Communication
Chapter 13: Love Don't Live Here Anymore
Bella POV:
Jake had explained to me when I was human what imprinting was and how it was supposed to feel. But nothing could have prepared me for this. Those honey gold eyes were looking deep into my soul. No. I can't deal with this right now. I need air. I need to get out of here. Now.
I pushed past Alice, who was looking at me like a lost puppy, and rushed out to the courtyard. Once I made sure no one was watching, I ran straight for the forest. My wolf wanted out at the moment and I had no control at the moment. I got about two feet into tree cover before I violently phased. Damn those were nice jeans. I kept running until I reached La Push beach, then I howled loudly for Jake. He was on the beach running towards me in a matter of minutes.
Bella? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Did the Cullens do something? Do I need to call Sam? I'll kill them Bella I swear. If they touched you-
No Jake I'm fine! Well not fine but- oh hold on. I relaxed my mind and let him in to see what had happened to me. Starting from the moment when I overheard the Cullens across the parking lot up, until I imprinted and ran for the hills.
Fuck Bella! You imprinted on a fucking Cullen! What are you gonna do?
I don't know. Shit I can't do this. I never wanted to imprint! I can't love someone like that! I don't even like myself. How am I supposed to feel something that dominating? No I can't do this- I can't- I need- oh god I can't breathe! I started to hyperventilate in panic mode.
Easy Bells! Ok just calm down, I'm going to call Sam. Just relax ok? I'll be right back. I started pacing the beach as I waited for Jake to return with Sam. My wolf was begging me to go to Alice wherever she was. No. I refuse. She abandoned you Bella, left you for dead. And that's what you are now, dead inside. I refuse to feel anything, for her or anyone.
Bella? Sam was here with Jake trailing him. I heard you imprinted? Is this true? I nodded and let Sam into my head just as I had done with Jake earlier. Yeah you imprinted alright. Hmmmm. Well, the tiny vampire already thinks you're her mate so it may not be too difficult for you. We may have to make some changes to the treaty. Jake can you go get the elders-?
No Sam. I'm going to fight it. I do not want to be imprinted. I'm not going to be weak.
Bella are you sure? When I first imprinted on Emily I tried to fight it as well. It obviously did not work out that well.
Yes I'm sure. I'm stronger than you. I refuse to accept this. My mind was set and Sam could see it. I was going to fight this with all of my being.
Alright Bella. Just consider yourself warned, this will be the hardest thing you'll ever do.
Noted. Thank you Sam. Jake? You wanna go for a walk?
What? Oh yeah sure. Jacob seemed a little frazzled from what had happened over the course of only a few minutes. We walked back down the shoreline towards his house in silence. So much had changed since we were hanging out just yesterday.
The rest of the week passed by in painfully slow motion. Every second was torture. When I wasn't in Alice's proximity my wolf was whining, and when I was near her in school my wolf wanted to be closer. My internal battle was chipping away at the façade on my face. I could still block out Jasper, but my expressions were starting to be readable. The Cullens were all commenting about how I looked like I was in pain, and I was. The only thing keeping me fighting was the fact that I knew I'd be in much more pain if I gave in. Love hurts. A lot. Trust me I know.
Friday had finally rolled around and I actually had something to look forward to. Jake was coming with me to Jessica's party to try and keep me relaxed. He's been really good lately, I can always count on him to make me laugh and forget a little. Tonight was for having a good time.
We arrived around 10ish and the party was almost in full swing. Jessica was already drunk as hell and Mike was stoned as fuck. Jake and I hit the beer pong couples tournament and kicked some ass for a good hour before the Cullen kids showed up.
"The fuck are they doing here?" Jake was a little drunk at this point and was quick to the gun.
"Easy Jake. Tonight's not about them remember? Come on let's sit and de-stress." I led him to the seating area and handed him a drink while I got myself one. I definitely needed some more alcohol to get through this night now.
"So we're drinking now huh? You used to not do that." Edward had approached me with his stuck up attitude. Seriously, who does he think he is?
"Yep. I actually do a lot of stuff that I never did while we were dating." I said causally, enjoying watching him squirm. Pushing past him I made my way back over to Jake, only to find my path being blocked by a one Miss Alice Cullen. "Can I help you?"
"Yes. You can start by giving me that," she pointed at my solo cup, "while we drive you back home."
"Mmmmmmm," I put my finger to my chin pretending I was deep in thought, "I think not. I think I'm going to enjoy my night without mom and dad showing up." I looked pointedly at her and Edward and then maneuvered around her to sit back down next to Jacob.
"Is this because of him?" Edward pointed an angry finger at Jake and began to shake with rage. This was dangerous territory. I put a hand on Jake's leg to keep him from responding.
"No. As hard as it must be for you to believe, I do have a mind of my own. I can think for myself." He scoffed at my remark.
"Hardly! Or you wouldn't be here right now. My Bella would never do something this irresponsible." Ok that pissed me off. I got up and stood centimeters away from his face. I had grown with my transformation so I stood at 5'8 now, a little more intimidating than before.
"Listen you worm, your Bella is no more. I'm not some immature little girl who thinks she's head over heels in love with you anymore. Frankly, I can barely stand being this close to you right now without feeling the urge to vomit. So back the hell off because I will not come running to you. I don't need to be fixed or rescued. I need to not see your fucking face pining after me day after day."
"Oh burn!" I struggled not to laugh at Emmett's comment in the background, I wasn't supposed to hear that. Edward just stood there staring at me like I'd grown two heads.
"Come on Jake, let's get out of here." Jake jumped up and followed me out of the house.
"Ok Bells that was bad-ass. I'm kinda turned on right now to be honest." I laughed at his comment, as it melted my tension away. What would I do without him? "Come on let's get home." He growled lowly in my ear and dragged my hand towards the car. Just as I was leaving, I heard Emmett's voice from inside.
"Ok, is it just or me or is anyone really liking this new Bella?"
A/N: Oh come on, you didn't think I'd make it that easy now did you? I always hated how Bella seemed to forgive the Cullens so readily when they came back. They left without any goodbyes! What happened to being best friends? Chapter was named after "Love Don't Live Here" remix by Bastille. Great song if you get a chance to listen. On of the main lines is "You abandoned me, love don't live here anymore." Kinda the same mind space Bella is in right now. Oh and she doesn't like people so. Oh and I love Emmett and his sense of humor. Alright, I gotta get writing. Thank you all for the support! I love you all dearly.