Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 16: I Need You

Bella POV:

Who the fuck did she think she was? I was beyond pissed Alice and her bitchy attitude. Blinded by rage, I slammed the door shut after me as I entered my house, nearly breaking it.

"Stupid fucking vampire! I don't need your fucking judgment and goody two shoes arrogance. Why I could just-!"

"What could you just do?" I jumped at the interruption to my rant. Liam had let himself into my house and was lounging on the couch with an amused expression on his face.

"How did you get in here?"

"Oh Jake let me in. And you were too preoccupied to notice. Now, what's this about your imprint upsetting you?"

"Do NOT call her that! She is not my imprint. How can I like anyone who makes me this crazy?" I was still really pissed and was shouting at my best friend now.

"Ah. Now maybe that's why she makes you so crazy hm? Maybe someone is feeling stronger emotions?"

"Oh shut up! You have no idea what you're talking about!" His smug attitude was not helping my temper.

"Actually I think I do Bells." He dropped his good-humored display. "I think I have the right to say I know you more than anyone else. Sometimes even you. So I know what I'm seeing here. You have feelings for her, and she has feelings for you. It's called passion Bella." He scrutinized me with his eyes.

"Yeah whatever. So what are you doing here anyways?" I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of me pondering over what he said. I was too angry right now. I'd sleep on it later.

"Do I really need a reason to visit my big sister? I just missed ya Bells." He wrapped me in a warm hug. I was still slightly ticked off but I couldn't stay mad at him. "So, how did your mission go this weekend?"

"It was alright. I didn't get any sleep at all. But it was a success. Apparently Colt's trying to gain control of the area the Volturi used as home base over the summer. If we can get it, it may give us lots of good Intel." We chatted for the rest of the evening over a bottle of decent scotch. I was feeling a lot better than I had before. Liam must had known I needed this, just old friends relaxing. For the first time since I arrived back in Forks, I slept throughout the night without being woken up by a nightmare.

Liam left the next morning back for Virginia. Forks was on his way back from where he had an assignment this weekend, so he only passed through. I thanked him for the support and calming me down as I hugged him goodbye. He told me I had a lot to think about. I felt much lighter going to school this morning than I had in a while. The Cullens were on edge with me all day, I'm sure no doubt, that they heard about the fight Alice and I had. Alice was very subdued in Gym, so I was surprised when she approached me after class when I had finished getting dressed.

"Bella? I will completely understand if you say no, but would you mind if we went somewhere and talked today? We could go to your house if that's more comfortable for you. I just want to apologize for- well for a lot of things." She appeared to be on the verge of tears and I didn't have the heart to say no to her. When did I get so soft?

"Sure Alice. My place is fine. You can follow me home." I shrugged and swung my backpack over my shoulder as she followed me out of the locker room. She must have talked to Rosalie beforehand, because she seemed to understand right away when Alice asked for the car. I drove at a normal speed back home and parked in the driveway once I arrived. I watched as Alice pulled in behind me and exited her vehicle. She looks absolutely miserable. I led her inside to the living room and motioned for her to sit down across from me on the couch. She sat quietly and picked at her jeans for a while. She seemed to be having a hard time finding what to say. That's unusual for Alice.

"Alice?" I tried to convey my calmness in my voice so she would relax a little. She looked up at me, her eyes full of tears that would never fall. And before I knew it, she was sobbing.

"Bella I'm just so fucking sorry!" Alice was falling apart in front of me. "God I'm so so so sorry. For everything. I can't even imagine what it was like for you. I was such an idiot for listening to Edward and leaving. You were my best friend! I thought I would be helping you but really I was just being stubborn. And then I've been such a bitch to you since I came back. You're completely right. I have absolutely no right to say anything about your life. Bella I just can't lose you. It killed me to be away from you for that long. I know I'm being selfish but I can't have you mad at me. God I just miss you so much. I can't- I'm so-" She started hyperventilating and sobbed even harder. Before I knew what I was doing I had her wrapped in my arms. I couldn't stand seeing her like this. I'm really starting to hate this feelings thing.

"Ssshhhhh. Alice shhhhhhhh. Hey I'm right here ok?" I rubbed circles on her back as she shook against my body. She cried for a while. Finally, her shaking subsided slightly and she looked up at me with her head resting against my chest.

"Bella I swear, if you let me, I will spend the rest of eternity trying to make up for all I've done. I'll do anything for you." I took a deep breath and nodded against the top of her head.

"Ok." I whispered into her hair. She thanked me over and over again, and then continued her crying. I stroked her hair until her sobbing was only short bursts. "Alice?" I whispered tentatively.

"Yes?" Once again she looked up into my eyes.

"Why-why did you leave? I mean, without-without saying goodbye or anything?" It was embarrassing to ask, but I had been wondering this since the day they had gone. It never seemed like a thing Alice would do, but she did.

"It's kind of a long story. And I'm not sure now is the time." She bit her lip tentatively. She was avoiding, not saving for later.

"Alice? You said anything. I need to know." She moved away from me and looked down at her lap.

"Well, you see, I left so quickly because I was afraid of you." I scrunched my eyebrows together. Afraid of me? "Ever-ever since you ran away from me that day with James, I have kind of been feeling things that I shouldn't. You were supposedly my brother's mate and not mine." She continued talking to her lap. Was she finally admitting to me I was her mate? Did her feelings really go back that far? "I tried to fight them, but there was something pulling me to you. So when Edward decided that the family should leave, I looked into your future and saw you becoming close to Jacob Black. You were happy without me, sort of. And Jacob could give you a normal life. I cared for you too much to take you away from that. I didn't say goodbye because, well I couldn't." She started to cry again lightly. "Bella I've been in love with you for months now, really years I guess from my first visions of you, but I know you've moved on, I know I don't deserve you. I just-" Before I knew it, her lips were on mine.

I was stuck. On one hand, this was all I've ever wanted for the past week or so. But on the other hand, she should not be kissing me. My first instinct took over as I passionately kissed her back. I put one hand on her chin and another buried in her hair. She was grabbing my neck and my skin felt like fire. This is wrong Bella. Yeah it is. I need to taste more of her. No! I pushed her off of me, gasping for breath. Her scent had intoxicated me completely.

"No." I was talking to myself really. "No this isn't right." She doesn't even know who you are. If she did she would never have kissed you. She would have run out that door. "No." I repeated firmly, clearing my head of her scent.

"You're right. I'm so sorry. I'll leave. I'm sorry Bella I didn't mean to do that. That was wrong of me." She leapt off the couch and run out of the house, all while muttering sorry about a dozen times. I was still in shock of what had just happened.

Oh you idiot! You had her and you made her stop! You made her leave! You fucking idiot! No. No that wasn't right. You don't deserve her. She's innocent and you're a monster. She needs someone who will actually care for her. Someone who can give her a better life than you ever can. My anger at myself and sexual frustration were at an all-time high. I punched a wall.

"Fuck that hurt!" I pulled my fist from the hole. "Great job you moron." I went to the kitchen and got some ice for my throbbing hand, and then laid down in my bed. Pulling off the black bandage over my forearm, I studied the inky black numbers. It really was what the Volturi wanted. That stupid number was my identity now. I rolled over and fell asleep clutching my aching fist. Alice Cullen is in love with me, and I'm in love with Alice Cullen. But she'll never know me, I won't let her.

A/N: Another heavy chapter. Sorry ya'll. They have a lot of shit to deal with you know. Don't worry though, Bella is already breaking. She can't last much longer can she? We shall see