I've been alone for neary nine hours now, and thoughts of regret refuse to leave me be. I tried avoiding thinking altogether, but it's the nature of prison to force someone to ponder what they could have done differently.

I see the faces of those I killed every time I close my eyes. It's almost like they're getting their revenge on my by bothering me almost constanty. Something tells me I won't be able to sleep until the time I won't wake up again because of their faces.

I punished murderers with murder, a but redundant when I think about it. I just wish they would leave, but they won't. They satnd as constant reminders of not only how my life will end, but the fact that I have nothing to look forward to.

At least they had Hell.

I've got nothing thanks to the notebook. I guess it's nothing more than I deserve after what I've done.

I lied to my family and myself. I used my father's connections to the police to search out my victims. I perposfully misled the investigation. I-

I betrayed my best friend in the world.

Yes, I considered L my friend. The time I spent working with him is probably the only thing I wouldn't change about the last four years of my life. Then I went and ruined everything for my own selfish reasons.

And yet... he apologized to me... Why? I guess I'll never really understand him.

Still... it's impossible to say that Kira didn't do any good in the world. I helped so many people finally find some form of closure that the government wouldn't give them. they rejoiced then the one who killed their loved one was finally punished for what he'd done. I became a god in the hearts and minds of the public.

No... I can't allow myself to think like that. I'll only drive myself insane if I keep this up.

It's strange. I was beginning to regret my decision to get caught, but I'm starting to see the benifits of it. I wouldn't be writing this for one thing. I never would have realized how wrong it was for me to have become Kira in the first place. I probably never would have told L the truth.

I would have more than three weeks left to live, but I'm starting to not care about that.

It's almost like a weight was lifted off my chest the moment I started this. It's almost like I need this to keep myself alive. Strange...

I wonder how L's doing. Is he thinking about what I said? Of a way to get me out of here? I hope he knows all of what I've written here. Not that I'm trying to send him on a guilt trip or anything, but, if I was still Kira, I wouldn't have let myself write all this. His pride isn't nearly as easily broken as mine.

Maybe I'm not him anymore. Maybe the fact that I'm in prison like the criminals I killed actually killed Kira. Who knows? Maybe Kira was his own last victim.

Wouldn't that be ironic?

Well, look at that. I've managed to cheer myself up in this deary place. The guy in the next cell over doesn't seem to appreciate my mood though. He keeps pounding on the wall. I can only assume that he doesn't know who I was or he'd be too frightened to attempt to break down the only thing seperating him from the one who had the power to kill him.

I really hope L finds this, even if I die. It's probably the closest thing to a record of the real Kira's death that he's ever going to get.

Well, the original Kira. Mikami's still out there, stupid man that he is.