Disclaimer: Not Me

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CUrrently Listening to: The Neighborhood- Afraid

MPOV

3 weeks later

I watch her.

I know it's weird and creepy but I have no choice. Our circles are so intermingled.

As I stand here with my team mates against the lockers outside the cafeteria door. My posture was one of defeat. Hands shoved deep in my pockets, my hoodie was up covering my dirty hair.

She was standing a couple of rows of lockers down from me. I wished she was closer.

She was beautiful and I never felt more insignificant. Its looks like she went shopping or something because this outfit was unfamiliar. It was late March and the weather was starting to break some. She was wearing a solid black sweater that fell just over her ass that was covered in black and white abstract patterned leggings.

I loved her legs! They were tan, muscular, shapely and lovely!

She caught me watching and shook her head as she looked down and away from me. I closed my eyes to keep my shit together. I love her so much and this shit hurts so bad!

I didn't notice I was softly hitting my head on the lockers behind me until Randall pulled me away from them.

"Come on man, let's go eat." His face showed his concern but he didn't say anything more as we walked in to the cafeteria.

I skipped the line and went straight to my seat at our table. I peeked over at her and found fucking Pete sitting next to her with his arm across the back of her chair and his hand playing with the end of her hair.

I was immediately enraged. I clinched my fist over and over to keep my shit together. I didn't want to whip his ass but I think I am going to have to.

I stood just as Randall approached the table; he looked around and saw what I saw. "Sit down Bro! I got it. Don't get into anymore shit then you already have!"

I didn't look at him as I walked out of the cafeteria; I unloaded my frustration on a set of lockers.

A couple moments later, as I was still fucking my hand up on the lockers, out came Pete and Randall. "Masen! What the fuck man? Never mind, Pete, you gotta back the fuck off of Makenna or I'm going to let him do that." He pointed to lockers that now had multiple dents in it. "To your face, you understand?"

"No, I don't. I thought they broke up; Like and month ago too. Ain't no body holding your spot Masen. Makenna is fine as fuck and we get along, so yeah fuck that."

I felt an eerie clam come over me. To be honest it scared me a bit.

I turned and looked him up and down, then right into the eyes.

With a chuckle said "I will fucking kill you. Yup, that's my decision if I see you touch her again, you're dead. And not in a rhetorical type of way either. If you touch her I will kill you with my bare hands. You got it now?"

It's funny how even when staring down deaths door dumbass people still don't get it. He walked away but not without a "we shall see" as his parting words.

Just as I took a step to commit murder in front my only friend at the moment. My sister and Kebi came running up the hallway with Makenna trailing behind them but at a slower pace.

"No! Masen stop!" Carlie yelled.

"Go back to class! Why did you go get her? You want her get in trouble?" I growled at Kedi. She shouldn't have gotten Carlie involved. My sister already had enough to worry about with SAT's coming up. She didn't need my BS as well.

"Masen, I can make my own choices. You need to calm down before you do something you regret."

Ha. "Something I regret? Well it's too late for that but I am absolutely sure I will not regret fucking this pussy up!

Pete began to walk away, back into the cafeteria but as he passed I saw Makenna leaning with her head hung against some lockers.

Shit.

"Mase, you are almost done with school why would you that and not be able to graduate? Imagine how disappointed mom and dad will be?"

Yeah, no I don't give a shit about how they would feel honestly. What I do care about is Makenna crying.

I walked pass them and stood in front of her. She sniffled and my heart broke even more.

"Please, Baby don't cry. I can't deal with that." She sniffles again and I went to wipe her tears but she pulled away. I took a step back, "Ok, I won't touch you... I'm sorry."

She knew I was sorry, but being sorry wasn't good enough. It wasn't anything really. It was just how I felt and didn't do anything to fix what I have done.

"I love you" I whispered hoping but also not hoping she heard me. I didn't want to cause her any more pain.

She stared into me with blood shot eyes "Well, Do you? I said I need time but here you are butting into my life!" My shoulders fell.

"Kenna, I am giving you space and time. At least I am trying my best, but Pete or any other mother fucker in here cannot touch you though. I am waiting. I will wait for however long it takes for you to take me back. But even if you don't; none of these fuckers can have you. NONE of them. If you want to... want to start... uh… if you want to date someone else you will have to wait until school is over or find someone that doesn't go here. I can't watch it Makenna. I know that I was wrong here but I can't! Someone is going to end up dead if you do it."

"Fuck you Masen!" Well, that saying us getting all too familiar." You were fucking that bitch right under my nose for months and you think you have the right to dictate to me who I can and cannot talk to. Well you don't! You don't have any rights here!" She spun stomped her way down the hall with Kebi hot on her heals.

"Makenna!" I yelled after them making her stop in her tracks. "This will end in tragedy if you do this. I cannot watch you do this."

"Then close your damn eyes!" she sneered over her shoulder. I know I didn't have the right to get mad but I was getting pissed off.

I quickly moved so that I was standing in front of her. I guess I could see where Randall had a problem with my aggression, she is 5 foot 2 inches tall and I am 6 and half feet tall. He pulled back my arm as I stooped to eye level in front of her but I would never touch her at least not physically or on purpose.

"Are you fucking serious? You are all I see! Even with my eyes shut, you are fucking haunting me! My dreams, my consciousness, my memories it's all you! I can't escape you if I wanted to! Which I don't!" By the time I was done I was panting!

"Please, please don't torment me! I know I fucked up! I know! I know I hurt you but please don't walk around this school with someone else in my place." As I finished a teacher came walking in our direction. I backed away but never broke eye contact.

She sniffled, lifted her head, straightened her posture, and spun on her heals. She stomped into the cafeteria just as a lost my shit.

Unfortunately, the teacher, Mr. Thompson had just approached at the time. "Where are you supp...?"

"FUCK MY LIFE! I can't do this! I can't fucking do this!" I all but shouted as I paced and hit lockers.

"Chill man!"

"Cullen, Weems, get into my classroom now!"

"I can't do this!" I yelled as Randall pushed me into the doorway of the empty classroom.

"Chill the fuck out Masen!" Randall yelled as he pushed me down into a seat.

Mr. Thompson crotched down in front of me "Cullen if you can't pull it together I am going to have to get an ambulance. You need to breathe. There you go buddy, in and out, slowly."

I didn't even realize I was hyperventilating until he told me to breathe slowly.

Shit! I hate all these dramatics! I needed get my shit together! I took more deep breaths and I heard them both sigh in the background.

"Ok, so do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"No." I mumbled at the same time as Randall began to speak.

"Mase cheated on Makenna with Zafrina." I side eyed him and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Damn... I mean, wow that's upsetting" you can say that again. My head dropped into my hands and I placed my elbows on my knees.

"I can't do this."

"So, did she just find out and you are trying to get her back?"

"No"

"They broke up like a month ago, He was pissed today because Peter Facinellli was trying up push up on her."

"Shut the fuck up Randall!" I was starting to get frustrated with the only person in this whole school trying to be supportive, asides from my sister of course.

"Cullen, Has she given you a sign that you have a chance?"

"Nope." That's not entirely true, she said at the beginning she said she just need time because she couldn't picture being without me. Then as time has gone on I am getting less and less hopeful.

"Then you have to let her go man! You made the mistake and this is the consequence. I know it's hard but you have to man up and take it!" Mr. Thompson tried to reason.

"I will take whatever SHE gives me but I will not put up these fuckers trying to date her! And I will stop trying! At least not until she flat out tells me to."

"Masen take this time to take care of you bro. I don't think you are coping well." I knew that my friend cared but I don't need another person to worry about worrying about me.

I just nodded because I didn't want to do this anymore. I was already going to counseling twice a week and the shit wasn't helping. That bitch was saying she thought I needed antidepressants which I wouldn't fucking take.

Which was causing a new set of problems with my parents; things were bad all around and I didn't know what to do about it.

As I was pondering my fucked up life the bell rang for us to move to our next class. Another class where I had to sit in the back of the room and watch her be just out of arms reach.

Mr. Thompson had more words of wisdom that fell on deaf ears as we left his room. But as soon as I stepped out of his door I was stopped in my tracks at the sight of Zafrina!

"I fucking hate you bitch!"