Chapter 20

BPOV

Edward finally got it together around mid-week. I talked to Masen and asked him to update his dad as much as possible. Like he wasn't already...

He was doing well. He made a friend and they help each other through any challenges they've faced. He really missed having his truck, it was hard to find a job because most of the positions on campus were filled by work-study students.

He had a meeting with his coaches and found out their schedule wouldn't be too stringent because this was the off season until the spring. They had to meet up twice a week for conditioning.

I did my best at easing everyone's concern for him. He was fine! We on the other hand are not.

There was drama with aeveryone in my life right now. Starting in my own household. Carlie and Kebi were driving me crazy.

Amun found out they were dating again and kicked her out. She ended up spending a week on our couch before she went to another friend's house. She'd been there for a while but her staying there caused a problem with her and Carlie.

The friend is someone Kebi met online and she was also gay. In my opinion Carlie felt threatened by this other person. I was concerned with kebi Living with a stranger but she refused to stay with us.

If I was being honest I would say kebi was going to be breaking up with carlie soon. I was trying to mentally prepare her and myself for her first heartbreak. None of us did well with Mase's.

Another problem that was slowly making its way was that the kids are going to My dad's this upcoming week. Just to give me and Edward a break before school starts back in a couple of weeks but this was not the problem.

Charlie and Billy like the old biddies they were made up couple years back and Billy is a part of Carlie's life. Jacob was not, although he still lived on the reservation. He made no efforts to see her when she went up to spend time with my Dad and Sue.

This part is the problem, Carlie wants to spend a couple of her days in Forks actually in LaPush. With Billy, where Jacob still lives.

She talked it over with Billy and he said he told Jake to beat it if he did not want to see her. I am not sure where that conversation went but carlie has a car and she makes great choices. I trust if he makes her uncomfortable she'll leave.

Other drama is with my sister and Jasper.

It was heartbreaking to watch it all go down. Alice is depressed and she started to lose weight from her already small frame. Her lack of will made her lose her job at an accounting firm.

Which just made her more depressed.

I hired her at the restaurant because lord knows we need help with managing our numbers. Before she started it was just me and Quicken barely making it by.

Within the last two weeks she has completely turned around our outlook on the profits. I was able to give the entire staff pay raises, including myself. Which I haven't done in years.

And with her being at the restaurant I make sure she eats during the day and she is starting to look more like her old self. We went shopping for new clothes that fit her even smaller frame and we got our hair done.

Although, traditionally she liked her hair very short and left it dark. I suggested that she did something completely new. So , she got it dyed a medium blonde and we put some extensions in the front to give her a a-symmetrical look.

She look hot and she felt hot when we left the salon. But hours later she called me bawling. Jasper barely acknowledged her. Dick!

This entire situation was odd for me, Alice was always the one to pull me up when I got knocked down but now she needed me. As her sister I knew I had to say something to him.

Edward and Emmett had already talked to him but obviously they hadn't got through. So my plan was just to show up at the house and confront him.

So here I am bright and early on Saturday. I knew their kids wouldn't be home because they were with Dad this week and won't be returning until we drop off my kids. Alice had to work today.

I used my key to get in and went straight to their bedroom.

The room was pitch black and he was asleep with the blanket over his head. As I watched him for a moment I recall the days that Jasper was on my very short list of people I could trust with everything that was important to me. Including my sister. I feel like he betrayed my trust…

"Wake up Jazz!" I said very loudly causing him to jump up in the bed.

"Wha? What's wrong? Where's Alice?" he didn't have a shirt on exposing the tattoo I forgot he had on his chest. It was a diamond shaped heart with the name Mary Alice etched into it over his left pec. The sight made me sad.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked as I sat on the edge of the bed, getting right to the point.

He rubbed his hand across his face and huffed as he realized why I'd come.

"Bella please don't make me do this with you. I am sure she has told you what's going on."

"Well I still don't understand so you have to explain it further."

" Why is it so hard for you Swans to get? I can't keep up in the false relationship. We've grown apart. It happens sometimes."

"See, that is where I get confused, just this past christmas you two were more in love than ever. People don't just fall out of love. What changed?"

"You don't know everything Bella, We have been struggling for a while."

"I think your lying Jasper. There was a time where the only men I trusted was you and my Dad. Now, I don't trust you because you ARE lying and as you do you are breaking my sister down." He dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Bella."

"What? You were the only man there for me and Carlie until Edward came. Even more then dad for a while." I felt a warm tear roll down the side of my face that I tried to wipe away before he saw.

"Please don't do this Bella."

"You are asking me to 'not do' something! You don't do this! I don't understand what the fuck is going on with you! You are one of my best friends, my brother and I feel completely lost right now!" I was full on bawling now, I needed him to really explain it to me.

He looked above me as I was talking and I realized someone else was there. I turned around to find Alice standing in the door frame.

"Answer her Jasper." She said.

"Bella..." His eyes were red s he gathered himself. "I'm dying."

"What?"

"He's dying and he wants me to leave him but I refuse!" My head was spinning!

"What?"

"I have an inoperable brain tumor."

"What? When? Oh god!"

"We found out May 10. They gave me 6 months without chemo. Under a year with it. I don't want her to watch me die but she won't let me go." He turned to Alice and whispered "Please let me go."

She shook her head. "Never"

I echoed her statement "Never Jazz." I couldn't wrap my head around it. He was still strong, he didn't look sick at all.

He dropped his head onto his knees and wept. "Please, I can't bear watching y'all watch me die! Have mercy on me!"

I just sniffled because I couldn't make any promises. "So, are you on chemotherapy? Why don't you look sick?"

"I'm not. I wanted to able to experience life for as long as I could."

I had a sudden rush of anger. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" I stretched at the both of them. "Carlisle could help us!"

"Bella, I don't want to spend the last of my days being poked and prodded at."

"Bullshit! Jasper you have to fight! You have to try! What about JJ and Janice? Or Rosalie, your parents? what about me and Carlie? Alice!"

"My short 38 years of life all I have ever done is care about how others feel. So much so that I felt burdened. I had a major need to make everyone happy or at least comfortable… Bella you guys have to ease that burden off of me. This isn't about you guys. I am dying! Can I get a fucking break? Sometime to only worry about how I am feeling? " His monologue was more composed as Alice and I cried.

I shook my head to clear it. He was right but I refuse to tell him. I wanted him to care about all of us like he always has."How is Rosalie and your parents handling all of this?"

He turned his head towards the window and I could hear him sniffle.

"No one knows." He whispered.

My anger flared for my sister. She is carrying the weight of a dying husband all by herself. I looked at her and could almost see it all weighing her down.

"Look at Alice, Jasper!" I demanded but he kept his eyes on the window. " Can I please ease this burden off of her? We have to tell the family, for her sake."

He responded with a jerky nod and i heard Alice gasp and she collapsed onto the foot of their bed crying into the comforter. He crawled over to her and stroked her hair.

He whispered to her and I felt like I was intruding so I got up to leave but still heard him say. "I'm sorry Ally, but if it matters any..." he chuckled "I don't want to die."