Chapter 37: Tuning Out

Bella POV:

We dressed in silence once back in the vicinity of the car. Luckily Alice had stocked the trunk with spare clothes after many mishaps, so she busied herself finding a suitable shirt while I put my clothes back on. She did have to help me put my shirt on considering my injured shoulder. I was also demoted to the shotgun seat while Alice drove us to her house.

How could I have been so thoughtless? Being that close to her while she hunted was utterly irresponsible. And then I went and lost control, fucking her against a tree. I don't care if she liked it, it was still dangerous and stupid.

"Thank you Bella."

"What?" I was in the middle of scolding myself internally and she took me by surprise.

"Thank you. For being there for me. I needed to hunt and you got me to. In retrospect it wasn't the best thing we ever did, but I feel much better. And from now on I will feel alright to leave you for a short period of time so I can feed. Also I'm really sorry about your shoulder." Her face grimaced at the last part. I wasn't really sure what to say so I just mumbled something incoherent. "We're here." She chirped lightly as we pulled into the drive. Oh crap. I haven't thought of a cover up story for my injury. Alice must have read my mind. "How about…. a mountain lion got the drop on you?"

"Really? A mountain lion? Got the drop on me? A werewolf?" I raised my eyebrows at her amused.

"Well I don't know. Do you have anything better?" She laughed out. Alice always seems to make my bad moods disappear.

"Shit. No."

"Then mountain lion it is. Come on my damsel in distress." She helped me out of the car gingerly and led me into the house. "Hey Esme, is Carlisle home yet?"

"Right here Alice." Carlisle came up from behind us, obviously just returning from work. "Is something wrong?"

"Um yeah… I-I think Bella's shoulder is broken."

"What happened Bells? You try to walk and chew gum at the same time?" Emmett called out amused from the couch. "Or did Alice get carried away in the bedroom?" It took all my strength not to blush at his pretty spot on comment.

"Oh shut up Emmett. We went hunting and a mountain lion jumped on her while she was distracted." Oh god she is the worst liar! I couldn't help but notice that Jasper was looking very uncomfortable. Shit! He can tell what she's feeling! He knows! Oh no. Oh god this is so embarrassing. "Carlisle? Her shoulder?" Alice must have heard my heartbeat pick up and was trying to get us away from the crowd.

"Yes. Let me take a look at it in my study." We followed him and ignored Emmett's chuckling. Carlisle carefully examined my shoulder for a moment or two. "A mountain lion huh?" Kill me now.

"Yes Carlisle. A mountain lion." Alice said through gritted teeth at her father.

"Alright. Well it is broken. I just need to reset it quickly and that might be pretty painful. So whenever you're ready Bella." Alice immediately rushed to my side and I took a deep breath.

"Ok. Go for it." Carlisle did it quick, but it still hurt like hell. "Son of a bitch! Sorry." I felt bad for swearing in front of Carlisle for some reason. He chuckled lightly and Alice started rubbing my shoulder comfortingly.

"I suggest you two be a little more careful hunting next time." He gave us a knowing look and then walked out of his study.

"Oh my god. I am officially never coming over here ever again." I told Alice who had the same horrified expression on her face as I'm sure was on mine.

"It could have been worse…."

"How? How could that have possibly been any worse?"

"Ummmmmm. Esme could have been in here?"

"He's going to tell her anyways! Oh and they're going to give us the talk. This is horrible. I should have never started dating you."

"Aw don't say that! You love me!"

"That I do." She smiled and I leaned down to kiss her gently. "Alright. Let's get out of here before I burst into flames." We walked back out into the living room hand in hand, ready to head back to my place.

"Hey Bella are you free to talk? In private?" Rosalie intercepted us right before we got to the door. Right. I had forgotten that Rose wanted to talk to me for some time now. A lot had happened since then.

"Oh yeah Rose. I completely forgot. Sorry about that. Alice? Would you mind?" She looked a little put out for a second, but put on a happy face and nodded. Rosalie led me to her room upstairs. I had actually never been in her room, it made me kind of uneasy.

"So, um I wanted to talk to you about something that may be a little awkward. I was uh, chatting with Alice the other day about some issues you guys were um, having in the bedroom." My body skipped the face blush and went right for the neck and ears. Having Carlisle know what went down earlier was already embarrassing enough. But this was a whole new level.

"What?" I was a cross between wanting to run out of here now, and wanting to murder Alice. Rosalie must have sensed this because she put a hand on me to prevent my leaving.

"Please don't get mad at her. We were just talking and I was asking her stuff. It's healthy to talk Bella. That's why I brought you up here actually. Look sometimes difficulties with the intimate stuff indicates a deeper problem. Is there something that you're not being honest with Alice about?" She was staring me down like a hawk. I could actually feel myself start to perspire. Did she know something? Did she tell Alice anything?

"Uh…. No?" It was getting really hot in here.

"Bella….?" Ok she definitely suspected something. I couldn't do this talk. Not now. Not ever.

"Um I just forgot, Alice and I have like a big date tonight. I really need to get going Rosalie. Can't be rude to Alice." I jumped up without even waiting for her to respond. This room was on fire.

"Bella. I'm not going to push you, or even assume anything. Just know that secrets destroy relationships. And the people who hold them in."

"Right." I avoided her eyes at all costs and ran down the stairs. "Come on Alice let's go."

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Huh? No. I just wanted to get a move on for our date. Remember? Our date tonight?" She was looking at me concerned, luckily Rosalie didn't follow me down the stairs.

"Ok….." This is why I love her. She followed me out to the car and didn't ask anything about the matter.

I did take her out shopping for our impromptu date. But she noticed my strange quiet behavior and stopped us midway through.

"Let's go home." She took my hand and led me back. The rest of the evening was rather quiet, Alice left me to my thoughts. It wasn't until I was getting ready for bed that she actually asked me something.

"Hey how's your shoulder?" I was in the middle of brushing my teeth so she waited for me to finish rinsing my mouth for my answer.

"Um yeah it's fine. Almost as good as new."

"Bella? Are you having fun?"

"What?" It was such an odd question, I wasn't sure I heard it right.

"I mean are you having fun in our relationship? Everything always seems so serious all the time. I never really get to see you loosen up."

"How could you think that? Of course I'm having fun. I love you Alice. Every day is the best with you." Did I do something wrong?

"I know that. I love you too. It's just sometimes I feel like you're not having as much of a good time as you could be. Like whenever you talk about your time over the summer with Liam, you have all these good memories. You just seemed a lot more relaxed." She looked so sad and dejected it was breaking my heart. It was like a depressed puppy.

"Alice baby. You are so cute."

"That's not an answer!" She got all adorably flustered and I started laughing, which of course prompted her to hit me. "Bella!"

"Ow! Hey! I'm sorry. You're just too cute." She rolled her eyes. "Listen, I was drunk and high during most of that time. You tend to be pretty relaxed when you're not that sober. It wasn't real happiness. Not like I have now with you." That seemed to make her cheerier. She smiled but then frowned again. What now?

"Yeah but you never go out and party anymore. Just to blow off some steam. I feel like I'm holding you back from activities."

"Alice….."

"No. I've just decided. You need more fun. Jessica is having another party this Friday and we're going."

"What? That's so weird! What would we do?" The excited look on her face was really freaking me out.

"Be teenagers! I want to go to a high school party with my girlfriend. So we are going. That is my date request."

"Really? You really want to do this?"

"Yes!" She was practically giddy as we climbed into bed. "Now, go to sleep you."

Friday eventually rolled around and Alice was bouncing more and more as the day went by. Emmett and Rosalie were both going to the party as well. Emmett for watching drunk people to entertain himself, and Rosalie for trying to get me talk I think. She hasn't tried to chat with me again yet which I have been very grateful for. But she does keep giving me looks that make me uncomfortable.

"Hurry up Bella! We're going to be late!" Alice called from the closet as I got out of the shower.

"Alice it's a party. You're not supposed to show up on time."

"Really?" She popped her head into the bathroom looking confused.

"Well yeah. It's supposed to be cool to show up late. 'Fashionably late' as they say." She pondered my words for a few moments and then shrugged.

"Humans are weird."

"Yes they are." I ran a towel through my hair and followed her back into the closet. "Hey have you seen my-?"

"Middle left drawer." I was still getting used to having half my wardrobe in Alice's expansive closet. It did help to have a girlfriend that could read my mind though.

"Thank you love." I kissed the top of her head and grabbed my jeans from the dresser.

"Can you be my teenage girlfriend tonight?"

"Of course I can. I'm actually a teenager. Can you, old lady?"

"Hey! I'm technically still 19."

"Riiiiight." She was obviously having a difficult time deciding what to wear. "Go with the black one. It looks sexy on you." She giggled and pulled the dress from the rack.

"You're such a horn dog. Hey, if we're being idiot teenagers tonight, can we go sneak off later and do illegal things in the car?"

"Wasn't that already in the plan?" Alice laughed again and winked as she walked out of the closet to check on Rosalie and Emmett.

Thirty minutes later we were all jammed into my car driving to Jessica's house.

"You getting drunk tonight Bells?"

"No Emmett. I'm not drinking tonight."

"Boooooo! Party pooper." We pulled into the house at what appeared to be peak party time. Perfect. Alice danced around like a kid in a candy store and greeted everyone left and right. Emmett and Rosalie parted ways with us to talk to some people they knew and I went to make my way over towards the seating corner and chill the rest of the night while my girlfriend got her kicks.

"Bella come here!" Damn.

"What's up?" Alice had pulled me over towards the beer pong table.

"We're playing."

"What?"

"I've never played before." She pulled out the big guns and used her pouting face.

"Fine! But stop using that face." She immediately cracked a devious smile.

"Alright Alice, Bella? You ready?" Mike asked from the other side of the table with his playing partner Tyler.

"Yeah sure." Alice went first and completely threw the shot. "Alice!" She just kept the dubious grin plastered on her face. What is she up to now? I made my shot, but so did Mike.

"Ohhhh. I don't drink. Shoot. Looks like you'll be drinking for the both of us Bella." Alice said innocently. Why that sneaky little midget! I gave her a death glare before taking the cup.

Needless to say, by the end of the game I was pretty drunk. With Alice's purposefully missing shots and her giving me every damn cup, I was ready to kill her.

"What happened to not drinking Bells?" Emmett came out a nowhere with a huge grin on his face.

"Your devil of a sister happened."

"Can't argue with that!" The rest of the evening was pretty blurry, Alice had to drive us home. She dropped off a complaining Emmett, who wanted to see if I would puke, and Rosalie at the Cullen house and then drove the both of us home.

"You're sneaky." I told her as she helped me out of the car. She giggled and led me into the house and up to my bedroom.

"Haven't we been dating long enough? You should know these things by now Bella."

"Yes I should." She pulled off my shoes and started to change me into my sleeping clothes. I felt like a helpless idiot. "Now don't get any ideas about enticing me." I told her as she removed my pants and gently put my sweats on.

"Come on Bella. You think I would ever take advantage of someone like that? Even if you are my girlfriend, it's still rape if it's not consensual." Why did that bother me so much? Suddenly all my bad memories came flooding back, sobering me up immediately. Oh right. "Bella? Bella you spaced out. Are you feeling alright?" Alice's voice was calling me from what sounded like a tunnel. No I didn't feel alright. I wanted to be alone.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I rolled over to face away from her. I didn't want to look at her now. She made me feel guilty. Dirty and tainted even.

"Bella? Do you feel sick? Did I say something? What's wrong? Talk to me."

"I'm fine Alice. Please just leave me alone." She contemplated it for a while and they gently laid a hand on my head.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to upset you tonight." She sounded like she was crying. Then she left, like I told her to. I cried myself to sleep.

A/N: Whew boy. Long chapter to write. Already working on the next one. Applying for jobs is really stressful. Hence, my writing till 4am. Yep. I'll just say right now that Rosalie is not going to out Bella to Alice. She knows that's not something you tell anyone. Also Rosalie is kind of hoping she's wrong in what she assumes.