I was out the door in less than seconds.
Simon? My Simon? Turned into a vampire?
I let this happen. I did this to him. It was all my fault that Simon was…undead. I had to help him…had to be there. For Simon.
"Clary!" Jordan was in front of me. I'd forgotten that practically everyone I knew was faster than me. "What's wrong?"
"Simon!" I shrieked. That was the only explanation I gave before I shot off in the opposite direction, toward the exit.
And then there was Izzy. "Clary?" she asked.
"It's Simon!" I yelled again. "He's – he's – gone! V-vampires!" I choked out between the sobs.
Izzy's face immediately grew from worried to determined. "Come on," she said. "I'll help you."
And then there was Jace. "Clary, we need to – wait, what is it?"
This time, Izzy spared me from answering. Jace split from us to go get gear. Credits to a speed rune he'd quickly scrawled, Jace was back in five minutes.
Half my mind was screaming that I had spent the night in Jace's arms. I had fought off a demon after discovering a half-conscious Luke (who was still unconscious in the Institute infirmary) and finding out my mother had been kidnapped. And on top of all of it, my life was still seriously screwed up because of certain people in it and – and I'd never found myself wishing as much as I was now to be mundane.
Meanwhile, the other half of my brain was violently screaming bloody-murder in the form of the words Simon!
Somehow, in my killer desperation, I'd managed to be at least two times faster than the others, and I pushed open the doors to be sprayed with biting wind and icy rain. I stood, shocked by the coldness of the moment, until a firm set of arms snatched me around the waist and pulled me back inside.
I turned to find Jace, and then I was in nearly the exact same position I'd woken up in this morning. I stood gasping for a few seconds, my heart beating rapidly, before instinct and memory kicked in and I tore myself away from him.
"What are we waiting for?" I shrieked, clearly losing my patience.
"Weather," Jace answered rudely, and I glared at him.
"What, Shadowhunters are afraid of water? Huh, Magnus failed to mention that," I snapped.
Jace opened his mouth to say something harsh in response, but Izzy stepped in front of him. "Clary, have you looked outside? The conditions are ridiculous! We won't be able to see in that, much less locate and raise a vampire," Izzy rationalized. I knew Izzy was right, but I couldn't help wincing when she spoke the words "raise a vampire."
"Plus, it's light outside. Simon will most likely be at the Dumort, and in that case, no sensible vampires are going to be awake," Jordan added.
I let my head fall into my hands. I could feel the tears burning at my eyes, and I was doing my best to forcibly restrain them. "On the bright side, we can at least work on finding your mother in our spare time," Isabelle suggested.
I was definitely going to have trouble concentrating while Simon was in danger – even though the second option was my own mother, but I could definitely handle it.
"Are you kidding? No way! It's too dangerous. Valentine did this. No. I'm not allowing this," Jace protested.
He had the audacity?! Now I was 100% positive that I needed to find my mother. Mostly, of course, for my mother. But there was a tiny whispered voice in my brain told me that I was doing this to prove to Jace that I wasn't the same girl he'd pushed. "Excuse me?" I voiced my incredulous thoughts.
"You heard what I said, Clary. It's not safe for you," Jace stated promptly.
"Where do you get the authority to decide that?" I shrieked.
"Because I'm way more experienced than you are. I'm a trained Shadowhunter and you're - ," Jace cut himself short.
Oh. I see. "What, Jace? What am I?" I thought about the things he'd written and wondered if one of those words was one he'd been about to use. Dramatic? Attention-seeking? Pathetic? Miserable?
He pressed his lips together into a thin line. The tension in the room was so palpable I could feel it bristling the hairs on the back of my neck. The others watched in silent anticipation as our "conversation" ensued.
"Nothing more than a mundane," Jace finally completed.
I nearly stepped back. "Wow, Jace, classy," I was trying – and surprisingly enough, succeeding in keeping the faint hurt out of my voice. "You're such a child."
To avoid more unwanted and unnecessarily painful encounters with Jace, I turned and pushed open the doors, letting myself out into the rain.
I had an advantage that the others didn't. I knew Simon. I'd be able to find him myself. Then I'd go to Magnus and if it was needed, I'd go straight to the Dumort. I had no idea why I'd ever even agreed to live in the Institute. I didn't need them. I was my own person.
Nevertheless, I found myself repeating the words 'prove it to Jace,' and not the words 'save Simon' on loop in my mind. It was unsettling. So I closed my eyes momentarily as I walked and tried to banish Jace from my mind. Mind you, it the barricade I'd constructed most likely wouldn't last more than a few hours. So I'd devote those few hours to Simon.
Aaaannnnd, there was a hand on my wrist. I allowed myself to be turned, fully expecting to see Jace with his puppy dog eyes and his fake apology, but the result was much different.
"Alec?" I asked in surprise. Then realization hit me. "So they sent you this time? Thought I might murder Jace if he tried to apologize one more time? Or maybe it was the other way around? Jace is so boiling with anger that he would hurt me? You're probably right either way."
Alec rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I'm just as mad at Jace as you are. He was a total idiot that night and he's only making it worse. I'm here to help you," he explained.
"Yeah, right. What are you, a spy?" I demanded. There was no way Alec was turning his back on his parabatai for me.
Alec rolled his eyes. Again. But his gaze held ulterior motive. I was smart enough to tell that he wasn't trying to necessarily spy for Jace. But there was something…
"Oh, my God! Seriously? God, I can't believe you! Jace sent you to what, protect me? I can handle myself!" I yelled. We were pretty close to the Institute and I wanted to get a head start from the others. I wanted Simon. I had not time for this.
"No, Clary, you can't. Jace was right. You only just became a Shadowhunter. What if something happens to you?" he asked.
"Then you can all rejoice singing 'Hallelujah,' God knows none of you want me here," I snapped. "Forget it, Alec. Go back and tell Jace not to look for Simon. None of you care about him either way."
I turned and walked away. As I walked, I could feel Alec's burning stare on me, but I distracted myself by quickly applying runes for safety with a rune I'd taken from the Institute weapon room.
I knew where Simon would go if something terrible had happened to him. In fact, I had several options. It was day, of course, but I was quite sure Simon was smart enough to know his restrictions about sunlight.
To top my list, I had my house. Simon felt safe there, right? But what if he'd gotten there and seen the damage? But what if he hadn't? I made my way there first.
After searching through each and every room in my house, I decided Simon wasn't here. Next on my list was his own house.
He wasn't there, either. But I gathered a few of his things that I could use to track him. Then I made my way to Magnus' apartment. I didn't think Simon would go there, of course, but maybe Magnus would be able to help me.
Maybe if I wasn't so worried for Simon's safety, I would've been more tentative about going to Magnus for help just after telling Jace and everyone else I could handle myself. But this wasn't about me.
Freaking Magnus wasn't home. The idiot. Where else could he be?
A thought struck me that maybe Magnus had been called in to help the Institute Shadowhunters. I didn't like that very much. Wasn't Magnus on my side? But I knew he didn't have a choice.
I, myself, only had one choice left. I punched in Jordan's number on my cell phone and waited worriedly for him to pick up.