oh hello xo so this chapter is really part of one big chapter I'm working on but it was all so much to work on at once, so I cut it down to work on them in three parts. Thank you again for the reviews, I just read them and they warmed my heart. See you soon xx
Emily hadn't slept well that night. Or any night lately, she'd become exhausted with the current events, one current event in particular which was her relationship with Alison.
Emily loved Alison, she really did, but she needed to talk to someone else about this, figure things out so she could be happy around Alison, not so on edge all of the time. Worried that a toe out of line would cause her to lose the one she loved.
It was over breakfast, Emily sipping her coffee as Alison scrolled through something on her phone, that Emily decided to finally bring it up in the only way she knew how.
"Ali, I was wondering, if you haven't got plans today, that maybe I could go past my parents house? Just to check the mail and clean up a little. So the dust doesn't accumulate and, y'know..." Emily trailed off, biting her lip as Alison looked up, slowly meeting her gaze, smiling.
"Sure Em, did you want a lift over there?"
"No, no I thought I might run, I feel about stiff, might help."
Alison nodded, kissing Emily's cheek as she took their empty dishes to wash up, keeping her back turned.
She was thrilled. Emily was finally understanding, asked her to visit her parents house, not home, because home was here, with her, so Emily was entitled to a small reward.
"I might tan for a bit while you're gone. Meet back here after lunch? Two?" Alison asked, glancing at the clock. Emily had plenty of time to do what she needed and be back. It took enormous strength on Alison's behalf not to give her an hour and warn her not to be even a minute late, but some credit was due. Emily was taking things seemingly well, if only they'd continue.
"Two's fine. I'll go get ready." Emily left a kiss to Alison's cheek, heading back upstairs to change.
Contemplating whether she should follow her today or not, Alison shook her head. When Emily's mother moved back or, hopefully, sold the house, then it wouldn't be a responsibility of hers. She'd let Emily have it while it lasted.
Emily pulled on some running tights and a jacket which, when zipped uncomfortably high, covered her neck. Satisfied, Emily ran back down the stairs and, making sure to grab her phone, receiving a kiss from Alison on her wait out.
"Be good."
Emily nodded, promising to be home soon as she left, not looking back. She didn't want to feel guilty, she wasn't doing anything wrong. All she was doing was going for a run, maybe seeing a friend along the way and some yard work. It wasn't a big deal. She only hoped that's how Alison saw it, should she find out.
Emily ran the long way, taking the scenic route, taking deep breaths of air in and exhaling deeply, needing to feel something other than the confusion and hurt that swirled through her mind, clouded her thoughts. Anytime she paused, stopped for even a brief moment, Alison had a way of invading her thoughts, her voice surrounding the air around her.
Be good.
Emily wasn't being good.
Standing in front of such a familiar house, Emily's heart clenched, guilty that she hadn't returned in so long. This was supposed to be home. Yet she felt like a stranger standing before it.
"I was wondering when you would show." Emily turned, shoulders slumping in relief as a pair of arms wrapped around her.
"I'm glad you showed. I know how busy you've been lately." Hanna laughed, arms tightening around Emily as they headed inside.
"I've always got time for you. Besides, Aria helped me pack last night, so I haven't got much, if anything left." Hanna grasped Emily's hand tightly as they went to sit on her family's couch, the house looking how it always did, however less lived in, empty, cold. Not at all how Emily remembered it.
"What's going on Em?" Hanna asked quietly, bringing Emily back to the present. Worried about her friend, Hanna pressed forward, invading her vision, frowning when Emily flinched at the sudden intrusion.
"Alison and I are.. dating?" Emily was slow to say, watching the confused but supportive smile begin to cross Hanna's face.
"Okay, why don't you seem happy about that? That's huge. I know you've been following her around forever, why so glum?" Hanna said, nudging her friend at the small tease, Emily clearing her throat as she tried to figure out what to say next.
"Things are great but something happened, a few things really. They probably aren't that bad but I, I do love her Hanna, I do."
Emily twisted her hands in her lap as she struggled with herself. Friends discussed their relationships with each other. She'd done it before, when she was with Paige or Maya. Why should this be different?
"Did something happen? Did one of you get hurt?" Hanna was taking in signs, not the typical blonde most people thought she was. The way Emily wouldn't meet her gaze, god she only needed to see a hint of a bruise to go in, attack Alison, guns blazing, heart in a good place.
"No, not, not in a way she didn't, she, she enjoyed what was happening and I was caught off guard for the most part."
"Things got kinky that you didn't like. That's still hurting you Emily." Hanna reached for Emily's hand, squeezing reassuringly. Emily took in a breath, nodding as she understood, a pool of doubt settling uncomfortably within her.
"It started with this, before this even, this was just what's happened recently." Emily unzipped her jacket, exposing her neck as she stripped it off. Grabbing Emily's shoulders, Hanna grabbed her, eyes taking in the littered bruises of fingers that were beginning to fade, that shouldn't have been there to begin with.
"What else Em? It's okay. I won't say anything to her." Hanna said quietly, not wanting to scare her off. She held frail shoulders in a girl Hanna once thought of as so strong, paining her that this was the reality they were faced with. How hadn't she noticed?
"She gets jealous, of everything. It's like I can't breathe and it manages to upset her. I was fine with a little at first, it seemed normal, but Hanna it grew. I saw Paige and... I couldn't breathe. Then when we got home she was so gentle and sweet. Then yesterday we were arguing about work and she got rough, the worst of it was when she was finished, she called and quit for me."
"You're coming home with me. We're gonna figure this out. We'll call Spencer and Aria. Get you away from her." Was all Hanna could say after a few minutes of silence. Jerking away, Emily stood, zipping up her jacket tightly, arms crossed over her chest.
"I didn't come here for you to help me get away from Alison. I wanted you to help me be with her. I'm not good. She'll be upset about me seeing you, can you imagine how angry she'll be-"
"I don't care how angry Alison will be. I'm scared she'll hurt you again!" Hanna grabbed for Emily's hand, having to fight for it.
"Stop it! I've had enough of being manhandled by blondes, just hear me out without forcing me to do something." Hanna's hand dropped, still determined however.
"If you go back there then what's next? You can't see your friends? You can't work, you can't tell her where you're going incase she hurts you. She's directing your life. You're supposed to be going to college and living not, wait, Em you're going to college right? Emily turned away, thoughts trying to process. College was another heartstring that pulled sharply.
"I love her."
"I'm not questioning that. I'm just trying to keep you safe. Can't you see I'm trying to do what's best for you?" Turning back to her friend quickly, Emily tensed as she eyed her.
"Alison says the same thing. And I made her a promise. I said I would stay."
"Staying is going to get you killed. I'm not letting you go back."
"You don't let me do anything, I decide that."
"No, Alison does that for you!"
Emily ran. It was what she was good at, she glanced at Hanna, her chest squeezing tightly in her chest. Was it always this hard to breathe? Was there always this pressure? It made her stumble down the steps of her place, making for the footpath so she could get away, ignoring Hanna's calls for her to come back.
What did she know? Alison loved her. She, she did, didn't she? Suddenly she wasn't so sure. Her body ached as she tried to push forwards, away from Hanna calling out her name, away from what was her home, away from the guilt and fear of returning to Alison, who would likely enjoy the tears that spread down her face.
"Emily? Hey-woah what's wrong? Why're you crying?" Two hands grabbed her arms again, holding her still, despite how Emily lashed out, her head lifting.
"No, no go away. She'll never get over it when she finds out I saw you."
Paige looked at her confused then to Hanna was was jogging up to them, meeting Paige's gaze with fear.
"Em, I'm sorry let me help-"
"I don't want your help, I want to go home. Leave me alone Hanna, forget I said anything."
"She's hurting you-"
"Someone's hurting you? Alison? Is she hurting you? Emily?"
"Look at you, you're going to go back to her after what she did?"
"What did she do? Whatever it was let us help, let me help."
There were too many questions, the heaviness on her chest increasing as she struggled to breathe, pulling away from the both as she put her hands on her knees. Paige and Hanna continued to ask her questions, pushing her to answer but all Emily could hear was Alison.
Be good.
You deserve it.
I love you.
Dots swirled in her vision, grasping onto whoever's hand reaches out first, Emily's knees buckled, slamming hard against the concrete, barely registering with Emily as she tried to breathe in, unable to help but think of how mad Alison would be when she got back, Emily felt herself slip away.