Chapter 25

MPOV

I was sitting on the couch pondering how I was going to go about breaking up with Angela.

She was going to meet me at the airport for my layover in New York. Airports were way to public for a break up and she was likely to make a scene.

As I was thinking my phone went off. Yet again…

"-Soooo are you ok? Are you still meeting up with us.- Ant"

I hopped up from the couch and run out to my truck. I laughed to myself because I'd completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing.

I went to meet the others at the batting cages, an hour and a half after we'd split up. I needed that time at home to regroup.

"Hey! You finally made it." My Dad said with concern.

"Yeah, right as we were about to leave." I shrugged at uncle Emmett. Although I do care about missing out on time with them the realization that I had to let Goldilocks go was upsetting.

Our relationship had been shit once we started to leave for school. It's only October and I realize that, that is what happens to our type of relationships.

"I'm sorry guys! Has everyone gone?" They nodded." I'll go the we can head to our movie. What time does it start?"

"We got an hour but it takes 20 minutes to get there."

"Ok." I went and got a helmet and a heavy bat. I wanted to blow off some steam. I set the baseballs to come fast and rushed to mount. I took a couple practice swings right before the first one came flying at me.

I missed, the guys laughed.

When it came at me again and I heard the crack of the bat against the ball I felt intention rolling off of my body.

At the same time I heard Uncle Emmett whistle. "Damn Masen! They are really working you over there aren't they. You see that strength?" He asked my Dad who nodded proudly." You ever want to come over to Baseball?"

He made a recent career change and was now working with the Mariners as a physical consultant. I don't want to be a professional athlete although I probably could in a couple different sports and leagues.

I hit around for a while it felt good. I walked out of the cages feeling better, not so much about my life but about how I was going to go about it.

All in all, my trip was good. Sunday, we had brunch at my Grand Parents house and everyone came. Even Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue drove down.

Aunt Alice looked so tired. My Mom and Aunt Rose spent the whole day just making sure she had whatever she needed. I don't even think she realized they were taking care of her. I watched them step up in a amazement.

Grandpa Charlie just watched on with sympathy in his eyes. It broke his heart to see his daughters hurting the way they have been.

Aunt Rose 's eyes were tired as well. I just felt like this entire family needed a break. I was going to suggest that my Grandpa Carlisle treat the family to a vacation for Christmas this year.

Although, it was a somber day, my Grandma made sure it was beautiful. The spread was amazing, my mom cooked it all! But my Grandma set it up on buffets so it looked all nice. One of the biggest things I missed about home was the food.

The pre-teens and teenagers, not including myself, were annoying though. They spent the entire day brooding over everything and nothing.

Before we ate I took JJ for a walk around the property. We needed to talk, it was time for him even at 10 years old to gain some coping skilling.

I got right to it.

"So, J, I just wanted to what was going on? Why are you making life so hard for Aunt Alice?" I didn't want him to even think this was going to be pleasant.

He shrugged and looked down at the ground.

"See that response doesn't work. I need you to answer me. What's up with you being disrespectful to my Aunt? You aren't being that way with your Dad?"

"I don't know." He said still looking down.

"Well you need to figure it out because I won't put up with hearing about you making all this even harder on her." He nodded because he knew I was serious. "Yesterday was the last time. Okay? Or it's me and you."

He kind of puffed up his chest a bit and clinched his jaw. He breathed heavily in and out a couple of times before he sat down in a large rock.

"Masen, I don't know why I'm so mad at her." I just looked at him waiting her an explanation. "It's like Dad wanted to leave and be happy without us but she won't let him and now he's all pissy. I just wish she would let him go die…" He wiped his face but kept his chest up.

It was hard to hear him say that. Looking at him, looking just like his father, the person he wanted 'to go die'.

I run my hand through my hair. "J, you can't treat your Mom like shit because your Dad is. If anything you need to step up to defend her. Show that fucker that he doesn't treat your Mom like that."

He was looking down, deflated. Crying. "I just want him gone. He hates being with us, we don't need him anymore. But she won't let him go!" He spoke between sniffles.

It all made more sense now. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper need to talk to their kids. JJ was on a path to destruction and it was just starting at home. Next he'll be acting out at school.

My mind took me to further my anger with my Grandpa Carlisle. I feel as if he first let the entire family down by not seeing that something was going on with Jazz. Now with this, as a Doctor shouldn't he see something wrong with his grandson.

"J, Adults are complicated, she wants to be with her husband and we can't fault her for that. What we can do is support each other. When you are going through and feeling angry and frustrated you call me! or text me! I'd rather you take your shit out on me then her." I gave him a real hug because he needed it and after he got his emotions under control we went back into the house.

The rest of the day went well I said my goodbyes to mostly everyone because I wasn't planning on seeing them before I left to go back to school.

Once we got home I decided to tinker around with the instruments for a while.

I was playing Live and Let Die on the Gibson Acoustic, humming the tune of the lyrics along the way. In that moment of freedom and expression I was happy my Dad made me learn at least one instrument.

When I reached the bridge some lovely voices joined me to my surprise. I almost missed a note but I kept pace with them. They harmonized perfectly and I could feel them in every lyric.

"You used to say live and let live

you know you did

you know you did

you know you did

But if this ever changing world

in which we live in

Makes you give in and cry

Say live and let die

Live and let die"

"Beautiful, I forgot you guys could sing." I praised my little sisters. They stood next to me grinning my mother's sheepish grin. "I wish our Dad would've been down here to hear that, it would've brought a tear to his eye."

I loved whenever any of us expressed ourselves musically.

"You never told me what Grandpa Charlie had to say about the while scissoring thing." I said to Carlie as I remember that we never finished our conversation from the other night.

She peeked at a giggling Renee before laughing herself and shaking her head. "My sorry our brother is such a jerk Re`."

"It's cool." She shrugged and laughed. I thought what I said was fine. When I was 13 I was waist deep in rated MA and NC17 movies.

"He was just weird at first, ya know how he is. Like Mom when she doesn't know what to say but doesn't want to upset you." I nodded. "Yeah, then that next day he said 'I just don't understand the appeal and I don't want life to get hard on you baby girl. Be careful who you tell this to because not everyone is going to take it was well was I have.' I rolled my eyes at him."

I laughed because she was doing a spot in impression of our small mountain town chief of police grandfather.

"Grandma Sue was prefect as always."

"What do you think of all this?" I asked Renee`. I didn't think I'd get much of an answer but was happy when she spoke.

"I just want everyone, including you two, to get their shit together. Like, sooner then later because I feel like we are all on borrowed time with our sanity."

And like the gentle slap in the face she often was Uncle jaspers fate came rushing at me and all our bullshit ways of deal with that fact went out the window.

On Monday, I picked up all the middle schoolers from school. I wanted to have a talk with them before left. Janice especially, but I didn't want her feel like she was under pressure.

She was so pretty, she looked just like my Aunt Rose, unfortunately she also had her attitude. I shook my head as I watched her and Renee walk toward the truck together.

She was a sixth grader; I wasn't ready for how fast they were all growing up.

They all hoped in, Janice and Renee in the cab while Ant and one of his buddies hopped in the bed. As we headed towards Cold Stone Creamery I asked them about their day.

They giggled and 'girl'd' until I stopped them.

"So, Janice, how are you holding up?" I asked right out. I couldn't take anymore chattering.

She stopped talking but didn't answer me just yet. I pulled into a parking spot and we all piled out and the group went inside.

She stayed back bit and I picked up the hint.

"I'm fine Masen. You don't have to worry about me, or us really. I just want you to do well at school." She spoke but there was not feeling behind her words. I pulled her around so that she was looking at me.

"I understand that you have to be strong but just know if you need to talk to anyone you can call or text me. Even if I can't respond right then I will call back! You guys are not alone." She nodded but her eyes were years into the future. A trait she got from the women on both sides of her family.

I let her order her complicated ice cream concoction, I got my basic Strawberry and paid the high as bill.

We sat down with the group and ate and joked around. I missed them, a lot. They were goofy and innocent and I missed being like them. I have to adult now and It sucks.

As soon as I thought about my life back at school my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"-I know you've been busy but can you call when you get a chance? - Goldilocks"

I was deliberately ignoring her. We were supposed to meet to the airport on my way back and I plan on breaking up with her there. I didn't want to make any false promises or do any unnecessary lying in the meantime.

"-Sorry Goldi, I have been busy but will I see you at the airport tomorrow? - M"

"-Do you still want to see me?- Goldilocks"

"-Yes-M"

"-Well I will be there…- Goldilocks"

"-Would you mind coming alone? We have to talk…-M"

"- OOOOKKKKK, Talk about what?- Goldilocks" I shouldn't've sent that text because I don't know how to respond. I can't just say about breaking up, can I?

"-Us…-M"

She didn't respond to that but I think she knows what coming, she has to, right…