A/N: I might have borrowed a line out of Harry Potter for this one. You'll get it when you see it. :)

Chapter 44: A Promise

Alice POV:

I wanted to throw my arms around her and never let go. Kiss her and beg for forgiveness. But I held myself down for her. She looked much too beat down for that sort of thing.

"H-hey." I choked out emotionally.

"Uh. I'm gonna go…." Rosalie said awkwardly before leaving. Now it was just the two of us. My internal dam finally burst. I began to sob uncontrollably.

"I am so s-sorry! Bella I can't even begin to tell how horrible I feel for what I did. I missed you so fucking much. Please don't ever leave again. I'll do anything." She didn't come over to comfort me like she usually would. Instead, she looked down and shifted uneasily.

"Alice I can't just forget what happened."

"I know. I know that. And I'm so sorry. Bella I will do anything. Anything you want." I was just about to get on my knees at this point.

"No Alice, that's not what I meant." She sat down, still not looking at me. "You were right. I shut you out. And I'm sorry about that. And you're right, I did stop trying. That's my fault, not yours. You deserve better than that." Bella rubbed her neck uncomfortably. I kneeled down in front of her, missing her eyes.

"Bella I understand why. You don't need to apologize for trying to protect me. I'm sorry for pushing you." I carefully placed a hand on her knee. Finally those beautiful gray orbs looked up into mine. They were pained, red around the edges from crying. I don't care what she said, this was all my fault. I would never forgive myself for making her feel this way.

"I can't promise to tell you the truth all the time, that's just not something I can do. But I can promise to try, to let you in." I cupped her face with my hands, holding it softly. She was so broken. The Volturi may have done most of it, but I finished the job.

"You don't have to promise me anything Bella. Come here." I pulled her in for a hug. At first she stayed still, but eventually her body responded to my embrace. I felt a few hot tears land on my neck, where she was positioned. "I'm so sorry." We both stayed there crying for a while.

"I missed you too."

"Where did you go?"

"Virginia. Visited Liam and Zoey." I parted from the embrace to look at her properly.

"How are they?"

"Good. Zoey is really nice. You'd like her."

"She's human right?"

"Yeah."

"How is that going to work?"

"Not really sure. They're just taking things one day at a time."

"So if you were there, how come you look so…?" I struggled to find the right word. It appeared as though she hadn't showered in days and then got into a small crash. There were small cuts and dirt on her body.

"Crappy?" Well I didn't say it. She chuckled lightly when I didn't refute. "Yeah. I was only there for two days. I kind of spent the rest as a wolf."

"Really? What did you do?"

"Wandered. Thought a lot."

"Did you eat anything? You look like you lost like twenty pounds. And you don't have twenty pounds to lose Bella." She made this weird face and started rubbing her neck again.

"I mean like scraps and stuff. Couldn't really walk into a restaurant as a giant wolf."

"You mean you didn't phase back at all? Oh my god I'm getting Esme. You need to eat now." I jumped up immediately, but Bella had gotten a hold of my wrist and held me back.

"No Alice I'm fine. Can I just go home?"

"No! Oh my god what have I done to you?" She went back to examining her feet again sheepishly. "Shit I'm sorry. Can I at least make you something to eat before you go?"

"Oh. I thought you were coming with…" My eyes widened at her confusion. Did she mean it? Did she forgive me? "I mean no yeah. I get that. No, I think I'll just get going…"

"Wait! No I'd love to come with you. I just didn't know if you wanted to be around me yet."

"Well, yeah." I beamed happily and took her hand. My family didn't say a word when we walked downstairs and out the door. But I caught a glimpse of Rosalie and Esme smiling.

We had to drive in my rarely used Porsche since Bella had run directly to my house. I went to the kitchen right away once we got in. This girl needed food and she needed it fast.

"Alice really. You don't need to take care of me."

"Shush you. These are my responsibilities as girlfriend." Oops. I mean I would like to be back together. But did she? Bella put her stuff down slowly, turning to face me tense. Shit.

"Girlfriend?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Crap I keep screwing things up!" Fuck I am the worst! I should leave before I mess anything else up. But I was thrown for a loop when Bella's lips crashed onto mine.

Fuck I forgot how good she tasted. How good she felt against my body. I needed more. Bella groaned into my mouth and picked me up.

"I need to shower." She breathed out against my lips.

"I don't care." I grabbed her face and returned to my hungry kisses. She pulled away again.

"Alice I really need to shower."

"Fine! Take me with you then." She contemplated for a moment while I moved my way down to her neck. Her arousal reached my nostrils. Yes!

"Ok." I kept myself wrapped around her waist as she walked us upstairs to the bathroom. Finally parting when clothes were becoming a problem. "Are you wearing my shirt?"

"What? Oh. Oh yeah. I missed your scent." I had been wearing this shirt for so long that I forgot it was on me. Bella licked her lips and slowly unbuttoned it.

"It looks really good on you." Her eyes were almost black with lust. It had been so long since we made love. I eagerly stripped her of wet clothing. She was so skinny. I was going to cook nonstop once we finished in the bedroom. But that may be a while.

The shower was amazing. I got to reacquaint myself with Bella's body once again. So soft and smooth. By the time I was done washing her hair, she was a purring aroused mess. She pulled me back up against her body and turned off the water.

"Fuck I missed you so much." She threw me on the bed and started an assault on my neck.

"Show me. Show me how much you missed me." I panted out. Bella let out a moan and complied with my request. It's true what they say, make-up sex is absolutely incredible.

Bella POV:

"Please! Please don't hurt us!" The innocent woman cried out while trying to protect her children. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to kill her family. But I had no choice in the matter.

"I don't want to! But if I don't, they're going to make it worse."

"Please god! Don't hurt my family. I'll do anything!" She was making it much harder. I felt angry tears well up in my eyes.

"I don't have a choice! This isn't what I want."

"Stop stalling 173952. You know what happens when you stall…. Would you rather I finish the job?"

"No! No I'll do it. Just give me a second." Aro tapped his watch from the corner.

"You have thirty seconds, or I have lunch." I nodded and turned to the family again.

"Please. Ma'am. I don't want to hurt your family. But if I don't, he will. Please forgive me?" She looked at me terrified as I asked for forgiveness of the job I was about to do.

"You're a monster."

"Time's up 173952." Aro moved in, his eyes dilating with excitement of the prospective kills.

"No!" I snapped her neck and quickly drained the body, followed by her family one by one. She was right. I was a monster.

"Fuck! No!" My yelling had woken me up. Alice was looking at me concerned, I ran my hands through my hair.

"I'll go make some tea." She went to get out of the bed but I stopped her.

"No. I don't need any tea. Please stay?" Alice bit her lip and nodded. She laid her head down on my chest to hum me back to sleep. "It was a memory. The Volturi used to torture innocent people in front of us unless we killed them ourselves. After a while you give in to that."

"No Bella you don't need to-" I put a finger to her lips.

"No, I made a promise." She nodded and let me continue. "There was a woman, she was trying to protect her family. She begged me to save them, spare them. But I couldn't. I tried to explain. Aro told me if I didn't finish the job he would himself. He had this way of killing people by breaking one bone at a time. Sometimes he'd even leave them with venom in their systems for a while, watch them scream and beg for death, and then he'd kill them right before the change took place." I had to stop for a deep breath and regain control of my emotions. Alice rubbed my arm comfortingly. "I told him to give me more time. I wanted her forgiveness before I killed them. I don't know why I always did that. Maybe if they forgave me, I would forgive myself. Not really sure. It never worked. But she couldn't. She called me a monster. She was right." I finished heavily. It felt strangely good to say these things out loud. But my body wanted to curl up in a ball and cry for days. Alice brought her hand to my cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped without my knowledge.

"You are not a monster. You are a good person. A very good person who has had very bad things happen to them. And I love you. Please don't ever think of yourself as a monster." She kissed me sensitively and rested her head back down on my chest again. It was as though someone had taken a heavy weight off my shoulders. "And Bella, thank you."