Hi everyone, so here is the fall out from last chapter, managed to sneak an OPT from another show in here, I'll be very impressed if anyone can see my thinking on that one haha hope you all enjoy

When the world stops for one person that doesn't mean it stops for everyone. To that one person it is almost inconceivable that the world can just continue turning, that people can go about their daily lives without noticing or knowing that tragedy has caused it to come to a juddering halt for them. There's a frustration that comes with it, an anger, a 'just fucking get your head out of your arse and notice this' but there is no point in it. The world will continue to turn, life needs to go on and certain events need to take their course.

Jean's frustration comes when Bertolt from the morgue come to take Marco's body away and it take every ounce of his self control not to scream bloody murder at him until he crawls back to the basement with his tail between his legs. Bertolt wins in the end – he has to, he's got a job to do – and then Jean is just left in the ED feeling numb, hollow.

He's tried to move, he's tried to get up and carry on with his day as he still has other patients, but he can't. He's stuck. Stuck kneeling beside the bed he let Marco die on. If I had just got my head together faster then I might have been able to save him. Fresh tears prick the corners of his eyes and it's just when he thinks he doesn't have any left in him to cry.

"Jean...?" a soft voice asks.

Jean blearily looks round through the tears and sees Armin standing in the door of the ED. "Hi..." he says, his voice rough and gravelly. How long have I just been sitting here like this? He can't even think, he can't even process that time has been passing at all let alone how much.

"Are you okay?" Armin asks. Jean just stares at him, unsure of how to answer. Armin shakes his head. "Sorry that was a stupid question."

"How's his wife?" Jean asks. He knows that at some point he's going to have to go and talk to Lindsay but he can't face it. Unfortunately he has no idea when he will be able to face it. After just freezing like that he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to face her again.

"She's stable," Armin replies. "She hasn't woken up yet so she's not completely out of the woods but she is stable for now."

"Good..."

"Do you think maybe you should leave here?" Armin asks after a pause. "At least get out of the ED maybe?"

"I... I can't," Jean says, his eyes dropping to his hands again. The pity in Armin's eyes is almost too much for him and he can't even bring himself to look at him. How the hell am I going to be able to face Lindsay if I can't even look at Armin.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and then the warmth of Armin's body beside him. "I'm sorry I had to leave earlier, I would have stayed if I could."

"It's okay."

"Do you need anything?"

"I don't know," Jean replies. He has no idea what he's supposed to be doing but he knows he should be doing something – he has a job to do. "I just... I just can't leave and I don't know why, he's not even here anymore."

"You did everything you could," Armin tells him after a short pause.

"No I didn't," Jean says shaking his head.

"Yes you did."

"No," Jean's voice catches in his throat and he swallows. "No I didn't, I could have done more."

"You can't think like that," Armin says.

"But I know I could have done," Jean says. "I... I saw him lying there and I just froze."

"That's understandable," Armin tells him. "Of course you're going to when you see someone you know. I know I wouldn't expect to see one of my friends in here."

"He wasn't just a normal friend through," Jean says. "He was different."

Armin scootches a little closer and takes Jean's hand, linking their fingers together. "Tell me about him."

"He was nice... too nice," Jean says, shaking his head. "Like he's the kind of person who would give up a kidney for a complete stranger, the kind of guy who people could easily take advantage of. When he found out I wanted to be a doctor he would come to me whenever he got hurt and I'd just end up yelling at him, like oh my god, go to a real doctor! When we lived together he used to use every single surface like a table – he'd just put things down and leave them there until there were piles and piles of unopened letters everywhere. He..."

Jean's voice cracks, breaking under the emotion of it all and fresh tears begin to flow again. He leans against Armin for support who doesn't hesitate to hug him, letting him cry into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Jean sniffs when he feels as if he can talk again. "I didn't mean to get all weepy like this."

"It's okay," Armin says, hugging him tighter. "Just take your time."

Jean looks from his hands into Armin's eyes and sees them filled with sympathy. He must look a mess – he knows he must – but all he wants to do is hold Armin like a lifeline. He can't go back to work just yet, he can't face the rest of the world but he can't stay in here forever.

Jean lets out a shaking exhale and dries his eyes with the back of his hand. "I need to go and talk to Lindsay."

"His wife?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel up to it?"

"Not really?" Jean admits, "but I'm going to have to at some point. She's going to have questions when she wakes up and she should hear it from me."

"Are you sure?"

"I wish I hadn't frozen, just got on with my job and then he might still be alive," Jean sobs, breaking again.

"You really can't think like that!" Armin cries. "You're an amazing doctor and an amazing person!"

"Then why couldn't I save him?" Jean asks. He's never been very good at handling grief (especially not his own) and the weight of his inability to do enough to save Marco's life crushes him. Breathing is becoming harder and he knows he should just give it up and go home but then he'll just be on his own, stifled by his own feelings.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Armin asks after a pause.

"What?"

"Marco's wife?" Armin replies. "I'll go speak to her if you want. I don't think you're in any shape to do so right now."

"I can't let you do that," Jean says.

"I don't mind," Armin tells him.

"But..."

"Please, let me, Armin says. "I know I can't exactly do much to help but I can at least do this."

Jean wants to. He really wants to let Armin help him. He shouldn't but it would be easier for his sanity if he just gave in and took the offer. He swallows his pride and nods.

"Okay..."

Still holding one of Jean's hands Armin turns to go but Jean isn't ready. He tightens his hold on Armin's hand and pulls him back into a hug. Armin's entire body stiffens for a second before he relaxes and hugs back.

"Thank you," Jean whispers, breath ghosting passed Armin's ear as he hugs him tighter.

"What for?"

"For everything," Jean replies.

"Anything I can do to help," Armin says giving Jean a comforting squeeze.

Jean can't even begin to put into words just how grateful he is. Armin owes him nothing but he's willing to help out just like that. He looks down into Armin's beautiful blue eyes and his heart clenches. He's so nice... just like Marco...

Neither of them hear the door open but Jean hears Levi's voice and it startles him into stepping away from Armin.

"Am I interrupting?" Levi asks, making them both jump.

"No sir," Armin replies timidly and Jean can't help but notice the blush springing to life on his cheeks.

"Good because the ED is not the place for whatever this is," Levi says, gesturing to the two of them.

"Sorry sir," Armin mumbles, looking at the floor.

"Kirschtein, I thought you might want to know that Lindsay Bott is awake."

"Okay," Jean nods.

Fuck!

He thought he had more time but apparently his day just needs to be as bad as it can possibly be. His chest tightens and breathing starts to become difficult again. His legs feel like lead and he has no idea if he's going to be able to even walk out of here but deep down he knows that he can't stay in the ED forever. You have to face her sometime...

"I'll leave you to it then," Levi says.

"Okay," Jean says again.

Levi exits the room and Jean feels like he's beginning to crumble at the seams. I can't do it... I can't... A gentle hand takes his and he's reminded that Armin is still there.

"Shall we go then?" he asks.

"I..."

"I'm here," Armin tells him. "Whatever you need I can do it and I'll be here every step of the way if you want."

"How are you so understanding?" Jean asks as the two of them leave the ED. He feels as if all the eyes in the building are on him but they're not, he knows they're not. Everyone is too busy going about their business to notice his watery eyes and glazed over look.

"Well you're my friend," Armin says, smiling, "and you need someone right now so I'm going to do whatever I can to help you out."

"Thank you."

"Do you still want me to go in first?" Armin asks as they stop in front of the curtained off bay he assumes Lindsay has been put in.

"Can you?" Jean ask in return. "I need to get myself together before I see her."

"Sure," Armin smiles and gives his hand a squeeze. He smooths out his coat where the hugs have rumpled him before he pushes the curtain aside and steps behind it. "Mrs Bott? Hi I'm Dr Arlert."

Jean tries not to listen as Armin tells Lindsay about Marco's death but he can still hear her sobbing through the curtain. His heart clenches and it feels like it's breaking all over again. Eyes clench shut and he tries to hold himself together. It's not working and all he wants to do is leave but he knows he both can't and shouldn't. He needs to stay, he needs to be here.

"Hey," a quiet voice says and he opens his eyes to see Ymir standing next to him.

"Hey."

"I heard about what happened to your friend," she says. "I'm sorry, I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through right now."

"I'm... I don't know."

"If there's anything I can do to help just let me know," Ymir says in a rare moment of compassion underneath all her usual cynicism.

"Thanks."

"Is that his wife?" Ymir asks nodding to the curtain where they can just about hear the faint murmur of Armin's voice.

"Yeah, Armin's talking to her," Jean replies.

"Armin?" Ymir asks, brows furrowed in confusion. "Why's he talking to her?"

"He said he's do it," Jean replies. "He was in the ED as well so he knows what happened well enough."

"He'll do just about anything for you, won't he?"

"Don't start," Jean sighs. He knows the kind of train that Ymir is about to jump on and he's really not in the mood for it. Not after everything that's happened.

"I'm not," Ymir promises. "All I'm saying is that there's something there. I can tell when you're interested in someone and you're definitely interested in him."

"Kid's a good doctor," Jean says, "nothing more than that."

"There is more to it than that," Ymir insists. "You never get this invested with anyone so why him?"

Jean doesn't know how to answer that. If he keeps protesting then Ymir will continue to push until he finally cracks (and considering how broken he already feels he won't hold out that long). At the same time he doesn't feel as if he can get into what Armin means to him when all he can think about at the moment is Marco.

He opens his mouth to try and answer when the curtain is pulled back slightly and Armin sticks his head out. If he wants to ask what Jean and Ymir are talking about he has enough sense to know that now isn't the time.

"Sorry to interrupt," he says, "but um... she'd like to speak to you Jean, if you've got a minute."

"Sure," Jean says. He's thankful for the excuse to not have to think about this anymore but at the same time he now has to talk to Lindsay. Even if he doesn't feel ready he knows he'll have to, he can't avoid it forever.

"Just think on it, okay?" Ymir says and leaves, clapping Jean on the shoulder before she goes.

"You okay?" Armin asks after a pause.

"Yeah," Jean lies.

He pushes the curtain aside and steps behind it. He doesn't want to look but his eyes are instantly drawn to Lindsay in the bed. She looks awful but nowhere near as bad as Marco did. A lump springs to life in his throat and he can feel tears pricking the corners of his eyes already. He's not ready for this and he has no idea what to say that will make anything any better.

He swallows the lump down and tries to make his voice work. "I... I'm so sorry..."