Hey everyone here's the next chap, hope y'all enjoy it!

Despite the fact that all Jean wants to do is crawl into bed and not come out unit the funeral he just about manages to pull himself together enough to go back to work. It's hard and it hurts like hell but he just about holds it together and doesn't fall to pieces when he's there. He avoids the ED as much as possible (which is easy enough) because he knows that he just can't face it and, so far, he's survived well enough. The hustle and bustle of the average day helps him to keep out of his own head.

It's when he has to stick around for a night shift that he wonders if he's actually going to be able to keep it together. Hospitals at night are quite eerie and they leave you with too much time to think, something that Jean has been desperately avoiding over the last few days.

"How are you holding up Kirschtein?" Levi asks, suddenly appearing behind him and making him jump.

"Yeah..." Jean replies once he's recovered from the shock enough to speak. "Yeah I'm totally fine."

"Good," Levi says although Jean's pretty sure Levi knows that he's lying. "You didn't have to come back to work so quickly if you're not ready."

"Like you said we're still understaffed and staying at home all day isn't really something I want to do right now."

"Well it's good to have you here," Levi says, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Thanks."

"You want some coffee?" Levi asks. "I need something after the x-ray I just had to explain and legally I can't drink at work."

"Sure," Jean shrugs. "What was the x-ray?"

"Kid with a hairbrush shoved up his ass," Levi replies shaking his head.

"What?"

"I fucking know right and he insists that he has no idea how it got up their either."

"Was it the old 'I fell on it'?" Jean asks.

Levi clicks his tongue. "For once I just want someone to be honest and admit that they did it because they were bored and horny."

"I'm sure there are better ways to alleviate boredom than shoving things up your butt," Jean mutters as Levi opens the door to the On Call room.

The room should be deserted as the only other doctor on call tonight is Hanji and she's on the ward terrorising drug addicts but it isn't. Stretched out on one of the beds is Armin, fast asleep and looking as peaceful as he possibly can sleeping on a glorified bunk bed.

"Fuck's he doing here?" Levi mutters. "He's not on call tonight, he shouldn't be here."

"He's just sleeping, he's fine," Jean says but Levi clearly isn't listening.

"If you're not working you shouldn't be here," he says. "Fucks you up for when you actually do have to work."

He goes over to the bed and gives Armin's cheek a harsh prod. Armin stirs slightly but doesn't wake up so Levi continues to prod him. Armin's eyes slowly flutter open and he looks up, a little dazed, until he realises that he's looking up at Levi. His eyes widen and terror flashes across his face as he sits up.

"Dr Ackerman!"

"What are you doing here Arlert?" Levi asks.

"I... er... I'm on call tonight," Armin stammers in response.

"Oh really?" Levi asks sceptically. "Because I have the call sheet here and your name isn't on it."

"Oh... um... well..."

"So you'd better have an incredibly good explanation or a cardiac arrest in the next thirty seconds or –"

"It's my fault," Jean says suddenly jumping in to his rescue.

"What?"

"I asked Armin to come in tonight as well," Jean lies. "I know sometimes nights can be pretty bad and I thought we could use the extra help. I forgot to update the call sheet so that's why he's not on it." It sounds plausible enough and he hopes it's a good enough excuse to keep Levi from tearing Armin to shreds for being at work when he shouldn't be. It's always been one of Levi's strictest rules – if you're not at work and you're not ill get the fuck out of the hospital.

"Oh... right..." Levi's gaze shifts from Jean to Armin a few times and Jean worries that he's about to be found out. Eventually Levi shakes his head and sighs. "Update the sheet next time, I am too old for this bollocks."

"I will."

"And you," Levi says turning to Armin, "if you're going to sleep make sure you have your pager next to your head so you can hear it if someone contacts you."

"Yes sir," Armin mumbles.

"I'm going to make some coffee," Jean says, desperate to fill the slightly tense silence.

"Yeah I'll take a coffee," Levi says. "If I'm going to get surprises dropped on me and hairbrushes up asses I need caffeine."

"What?" Armin looks confused.

"Don't ask," Levi grumbles. He pulls a chair out from under one of the slightly grubby tables. Almost as soon as he sits down the pager on his hip begins to beep. He unclips it and looks at it, eyes darkening. "Mother fuck it! Can't even get ten minutes to sit down. I'll have to take a rain check on that coffee I need to go and sort out a bleeding hooker."

"Need a hand?" Jean asks, more out of politeness and a sense of duty than any actual desire to go. If he's given the choice between assisting with a bleeding prostitute and spending some time alone with Armin he knows which one he would rather chose.

"It's fine," Levi says. "If I need you I'll page you." And with that he's gone leaving a silence hanging heavy in the room between Armin and Jean. Armin rubs the sleep out of his eyes and looks so vulnerable that Jean wants to pull him into a hug and never let go.

"Thank you," Armin says when the silence has stretched on far too long.

"What for?"

"For covering for me."

"Don't sweat it," Jean says as he turns to finish making the coffee. "You would have done the same thing for me."

"I suppose so, yeah."

"So do you want to tell me what's really going on?" Jean asks.

"It's nothing," Armin replies.

"Oh yeah? So you're sleeping at work while you're suppose to be at home because you like how comfy the beds are?" Jean asks as he goes to sit beside Armin. He hands him a cup of coffee – the one that actually resembles coffee rather than the crap stuff.

"Good point," Armin chuckles.

"So..." Jean presses.

"It really is nothing," Armin says. "It's kind of a long story I guess."

"I've got time."

"I've got this patient," Armin says. "Her name is Mikasa and her kidneys are failing. She's going in for a transplant soon and she's nervous, although she won't say anything. She has some dialysis stuff she has to put up with as well and I thought it would help her out if I was here. I'm just getting some kip before I go to the ward again."

"Oh..."

"I know what you're going to say," Armin chuckles after a pause, looking down into his coffee.

"Oh yeah?"

"That I'm getting too invested with my patients again."

"Well... I suppose so yes but you're just being a good doctor," Jean says.

"Thanks."

"So other than that you're not pushing yourself so hard during the day you collapse here instead of going home?" Jean asks.

"No I'm fine," Armin smiles. "What about you though?"

"What about me?"

"How are you holding up?" Armin asks.

"I'm fine," Jean shrugs.

"Really?" Armin asks.

"Yeah," Jean lies looking down at his coffee.

"Jean this is me you're talking to, you don't have to put on a brave face if you don't want to," Armin tells him.

"Okay... in that case I am struggling," Jean admits, his voice suddenly thick and hoarse. "I just can't stop thinking that I could have done more for him... for both of them."

"You need to stop putting yourself through this," Armin tells him placing a hand on top of Jean's. "You did everything you could – we all did – but the odds were against us on this one and this isn't all just down to you."

"I suppose so," Jean sighs. "I just wonder what's the point of it all then?"

Armin thinks about this for a moment before he finally sighs. "I guess because we have to keep going," he says. "I mean if we just give up then there really is no point but we do what we do because we want to and because we can make a difference."

He's right. Jean knows he is and what he's saying makes a lot of sense. There's no point in giving up just because things are difficult. Marco wouldn't want him to just give up and wallow in self pity. Marco would tell him that he needs to pick himself up and move on. He still needs a little bit of encouragement though and he knows he needs to ask for it.

"Hey Armin..."

"Yeah?"

"Marco's funeral is next week," Jean says, squeezing fingerprints into the top of the Styrofoam cup for want of something to do with his free hand. "I... um... I don't know how it's going to go but would you mind coming with me?"

"You sure?" Armin asks.

"I mean if you don't mind," Jean says, still unable to take his eyes off his hand. "I just... I don't know if I can face it on my own."

Armin gives Jean's hand a squeeze. "Sure."

That makes Jean finally look round at him. Armin smiles and he looks so sincere and adorable that Jean can't help but put his coffee cup down on the floor and pull Armin into a hug. He inhales deeply, taking in the smell of disinfectant with the underlying hint of something fruity, something just so quintessentially Armin. It's wonderful, like a beacon of hope in this entire shit situation.

"Thank you," he whispers into Armin's hair.

"No problem," Armin replies and Jean can hear the smile in his voice.