Chapter 52: We'll Make It Through

Alice POV:

"Alice? Alice you haven't said anything. Are you still with me?" Liam was calling me, but I didn't care. My insides were screaming in absolute agony.

This couldn't be true. No. The world isn't that fucked up. I must be dead. Yes. Somehow I died and I'm in hell. That's the only explanation for this. There's no way that anything about this is real.

"Alice? Alice dear I need you to respond. I know this is hard to take." Now Carlisle joined the voices trying to break through my personal hell. Time ceased to exist. I might have been sitting here for minutes, hours, or days. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU HAD NO RIGHT!" That got my slight attention. Rosalie had barged into the office screaming at Carlisle.

"Rosalie calm down! How did-how did you even find out?"

"Edward and Jasper are going fucking insane! These walls may be soundproof but they're not fucking 'gift'-proof!" She was completely livid. I'd never seen her so pissed, and especially at Carlisle. "How dare you! You had no right to say anything! That was Bella's, not yours!" She started to jab him with her finger angrily.

"Rosalie, look at what it was doing to her. She would have never said anything, and it would have eaten her alive. It already was. There comes a point when it needs to be said." Carlisle said calmly to her. But she was still beyond furious, she began to yell again.

"You think just because-"

"You knew." I whispered quietly, interrupting her. Something clicked. It all made sense. How Rosalie always seemed to look at her, how she wanted to talk to her, even back when we had our original chat about our problems. It all fit. She knew all along.

"Alice I-"

"You knew." I repeated the words, they were sinking in now. "YOU FUCKING KNEW ALL THIS TIME! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"Because it wasn't my place Alice! Look I'm sorry, but it just wasn't right. I know that. I wanted her to tell you, but it wasn't my choice." I knew what she was saying was right, but I didn't care. I had so much anger in me and I needed somewhere to put it. I lunged at her and began to hit as hard as I could, but Liam had grabbed me and pulled me back.

"NO! NO, LET ME GO! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I was blindly struggling against his arms, my blurry eyes obstructing my vision. But my energy was soon gone from the fight, and I fell back into him sobbing.

"Shhhhhh. I know. I know. Just let it out." He whispered into my hair, holding me tight. His scent reminded me of Bella's and my heart felt like a gunshot went through it.

"I need her. I need Bella. Can-can you take me to her?" He was quiet for a moment at my request, but nodded against my head.

"Yes. Of course. Carlisle can you take over from here?"

"Yes Liam thank you. We'll talk more when you get back." Carlisle gave my shoulder a quick squeeze when Liam led me out. I wasn't paying attention to anything or anyone, just letting myself be steered. Somehow we made it to the car without me even noticing.

Liam didn't say anything on the drive, and I was grateful for it. The only person I wanted to hear was Bella. Finally we pulled up to a cute little cottage up a long concealed drive. There wasn't much to see in the dark, so I wasn't sure exactly how it looked or where I was. Liam walked me to the front door and knocked lightly. Within seconds the door opened to reveal the face I had been craving.

Without thinking, I threw myself at her. I wanted to hold her and never let go. She didn't respond at first, which worried me, but eventually she wrapped her arms around me. Liam bid a quiet goodbye and drove back. Bella and I just stayed in the doorway, bound in our embrace.

"Hey." She said quietly. I started to sob into her chest hysterically. She gently pulled me into the house and rubbed my back soothingly. I must have cried for a good few hours before I actually said something.

"B-Bella. I-I'm s-s-sorry! I-"

"Hey shhhhhh. Shhhh don't say anything." She had moved us so we were sitting down on a bed. It made it easier for her to cradle me while I wept. I continued my sobbing until I just couldn't anymore. "I guess my birthday really is cursed after all." She whispered with a hint of humor, trying to get me to smile. I let out a small watery laugh and squeezed her harder. It really was.

Bella eventually fell asleep after hours of me crying on her. She let out a few small tears as well, but held onto me deep into the night.

When morning came, I finally moved from my position in her arms and got up to make breakfast. There wasn't much to work with in the kitchen, but I managed to make something for my sleeping wolf. She awoke when I was almost finished and wandered over towards me. Now that the sun was up, I could really see how beautiful this little cottage was. It was so open and bright, it surprised me that this was Bella's. Not that she was dark or anything, it was just different.

"Good morning." She had come from behind me while I was cooking and nuzzled herself into my neck.

"Good morning love. This place is so stunning." I turned around to stroke her hair softly. Looking into her eyes was much different for me now. They had always held so much pain, but now I understood it a little more.

"It is isn't it?" She said while taking her surroundings in. "I haven't been here in ages. I was actually thinking about taking you here on a weekend trip sometime soon. Obviously this isn't exactly the way I wanted us to enjoy it." Bella sighed, bringing up the inevitable. "Alice I-"

"Shhhh. How about you eat first? We can talk later. We have time." I had put a finger to her mouth to hush her. She nodded and took the plate I handed her. I sat down while she ate quietly.

"Alice, I am so sorry. I should have told you. I just-I just couldn't." She ended with watery eyes and looked down at her lap. I grabbed her chin and pulled it up gently.

"Bella, you don't need to explain anything to me. You should not be sorry. This in no way is your fault. Bella look at me." She was avoiding my gaze.

"I just." She started to really cry now while finally meeting my eyes. "I just thought you wouldn't want me anymore. Or think less of me." Now that got me crying.

"Oh my god no. Come here." I wrapped my arms around to calm her down. "Bella, don't you ever feel badly for what happened to you. I love you so fucking much. And I absolutely hate that someone made you feel this way. That is my fault. But of course I don't think any less of you. Why would I?"

"Because I'm supposed to be strong. I'm the protector. Not the weak one." Her voice came out muffled from where she was on my shoulder. Every word she said was breaking my heart even more. I ran a hand through her hair while my other rubbed her back.

"Hey, you are not weak. You are the strongest person I know. But Bella, you don't have to be the hero all the time. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever." We both stayed in our embrace, sobbing for a long time. Eventually we were both exhausted from it all, the worst was over. "How about I make a fire?" I asked, eyeing the beautiful fireplace in the living room.

"Yeah that'd be nice." She leaned back, wiping her eyes. I gave her a small kiss and went to go get supplies. We would make it through this.

Bella POV:

Alice was being so nice about the whole thing. I still felt disgusting. For what happened and then for lying to her about it for so long. She was perfect, and I was the worst.

"Bells. You're zoning out on me. What's on your mind?"

"I don't deserve you." Alice got up from her spot on the floor and took the mug of tea from my hands, replacing it her hands.

"I don't deserve you. The amount of times I have fucked up this relationship is truly too many to count. And you are so loving and understanding." She leaned up to give me what I presumed would be a chaste kiss, but a sudden urgency ran through my body and I grabbed her face heatedly. I pulled us both up in the standing position and shoved my tongue into her mouth. I have no idea why I was suddenly so eager, but I just wanted to show her how much I loved her. "Mmmm. Bella. Not that I don't enjoy this, but are you sure?" She had pushed me back slightly to check if I was ok.

"Yes. I love you, and I trust you completely. In fact, I want to show you." I took her right hand, kissed it lightly, and then moved it down my body.

"Bella no. No, I understand why now. Please don't do anything that will make you uncomfortable because you think I want it." She had tried to pull her hand away, but I kept it in my grip.

"I'm not. I promise. I'm not afraid anymore. Not with you. You are not them. You are nothing like them. See? See how my muscles aren't tense anymore?" She glanced me up and down to confirm what I said. "I love you. Please let me show you." I continued to maneuver her hand down further.

"Bella."

"Alice please." She finally stopped struggling when I kissed her passionately. Once her hand had reached its destination, she let out a feral growl and pushed me against the wall. I had almost forgotten the feeling of someone inside of me, it was glorious.

Alice was stripping us of clothing at a record pace. It was so very hot and I was losing it fast.

"Don't hold on. Let go. I know you want to." She growled into my neck. Her fingers were moving at the perfect speed and pressure, and she was right, I was holding on. So I did what she said and let go, to have what I'm sure would be my first of many orgasms of the evening.

"Oh fuck." I gasped out, leaning against the wall sweating and out of breath. Alice had withdrawn her hand and was sensually sucking on her fingers while I recovered. Great now I'm aroused again. Her nostrils flared at the smell and I bit my lip in anticipation.

"This might be a while. Wanna move to the bed?" A lazy smile spread across my face.

"Yes please."

"Oh god we should have been doing this months ago." I breathed out while laying back down on the mattress. It had been a wonderful few hours, and I was absolutely exhausted. I'd never seen Alice smile so much, it was beautiful. She looked like she was on cloud nine, and I was with her.

"Mmmmmm. I don't care. If you're happy, I'm happy." She was lying across from me, propped up on her elbow.

"You look so gorgeous right now." I mirrored her position to enjoy the view more.

"Nothing on you babe. This is literally the best night of my life." She whispered lightly. I was so in love with this woman across from me right now. Everything about her was stunning. I wanted her to mine forever.

"Marry me."