Casey walked through the graveyard, red flowers in his hands. He saw someone sitting in front of Cyra's grave. It was Severide. Casey froze out of his line of sight. "The guys are still trying to get used to seeing my face at the beginning of the shift, not yours. And you had great leadership skills. The men followed all of your orders, you knew your stuff, but I guess I wish I could've learned more from you." He paused for a second. "We really miss you. I... really miss you."

Casey finally cleared his throat, and Severide turned to look at him. "Hey, Kelly."

"Matt. I didn't know you were here." Matt kneeled next to her grave and put the flowers down. Every time he read the grave, it was like a knife was repeatedly driven through his heart. 'Cyra Cruz, mother, wife, hero, and one damn good firefighter.'

"How are you?"

Kelly shrugged. "I'm okay. I mean, I guess. I just wasn't expecting this to be so hard."

"Yeah. It's hard, you know, looking at Chad and Lily. They look so much like her, and Chad has the same exact attitude, and they like the same things."

"Have you heard anything from Joe?"

"Not really. He's having a hard time juggling his grief and the kids."

"I wish I could help him, but I don't know how."

"I think it's enough just to let him know that we are here when he needs it and that he has all the time he needs."

Severide nodded. "Has he even been out here yet?"

Casey sighed. "The station decided what was on the headstone that day you were out sick. He showed up for the funeral then disappeared." The men both stood up and walked toward their cars.

"If you need anything, just call me Matt."

"Thanks. I'll see you next shift. Take care of yourself, Severide."

The next day, the men started pouring in to start the shift. Casey walked into the day room and was shocked to see Cruz sitting at the table. He didn't have any expression on his face. "Joe. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I had to get out of the house; I had to get back into a routine." He avoided looking over at the couch that Cyra and Mouch watched so many football games on.

"Joe, it's been two and a half weeks." Severide walked in and shared the same expression of shock that Casey had. "I think we should talk to Chief. Come on." They stood up and walked into the Chief's office. Boden was apparently unaware that Cruz was there.

"Why are you here?"

"Chief, Lieutenant, the truth is I'm tired. I am tired of sitting at home, doing nothing. I can't do that forever. At some point, I have to get back to normal life the best I can."

"I understand you, Joe; I really do. But you have to allow yourself time to grieve and get better, for lack of a proper way to say it."

His tired, sad, and heavy eyes looked into Casey's. "I cannot get better. I lost the love of my life, and I will always feel like a part of me is missing. So you could give me all the time in the world, and I won't be better by your standards. Please, just let me do my job."

Casey only had to take a moment before he nodded. "Okay, fine. You're back. If you need anything, don't hesitate."

Cruz nodded before excusing himself and leaving the office. Boden raised an eyebrow at Casey. "Are you sure that this is the right thing to do?"

Matt shrugged and frowned. "No. But I do know I can't let him sit down at home and sit in his sorrows. He's having a hard enough time dealing with Chad's grief."

"Keep an eye out for him. There is no way of telling what is going through his mind."

"Yeah, of course." Matt left the office and returned to the day room, where he saw Otis and Herrmann talking to Cruz. His face had a smile, but his eyes still had the same sadness.

~Three Months Later~

"Chad! It's time to leave! We are already late!"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you." Chad came running down that staircase, grabbing the backpack from the side table. Joe was holding the door open, and Chad ran out. Joe smiled and shook his head as he grabbed Lily's car seat. The baby was the happiest baby Joe had ever seen. They drove to Matt's house, where he and Gabby sat on the front porch with coffee mugs in their hands as they waited. When they saw the car pull up, they walked down the steps.

"Hey Matt, Gabby."

"Hey, Joe." The backseat door of the SUV opened up, and Chad hopped out. He went around the back and let the dogs out. They took off toward the house with Chad in tow. Joe opened the other backseat door, and Gabby saw Lily sleeping in her car seat. She handed her mug to Casey.

"She gets more adorable every time I see her." Gabby unhooked the car seat and took it out of the car. She took her inside, fawning over her as she walked.

"Thanks for doing this, man. I mean, moving houses has not been fun. I don't know why we have so much stuff. I need this break." Cruz slapped Casey on the back.

"Yeah, no problem. You know I like taking care of them. Being around Chad is like having a little more time with her."

"I know." He nodded. "I'll be back for them at dinner time."

"Perfect. Gabby wanted to make dinner; you know she always makes more than enough for the two of us. We'll see you for dinner." He nodded and returned to the house, two coffee cups in his hands. Joe looked back up at the house and saw Gabby talking to Chad, the two of them laughing.

It was time for him to make his own peace with what had happened. He walked slowly through the headstones until he reached hers. He took a deep breath as he looked at the grave, his heart nearly stopping when he saw her name. He got down on the ground and sat at the foot of her grave. "Cyra." Just hearing his own voice saying her name made his eyes well up with tears. "I'm just now coming out here to see you. I just couldn't make myself do it any earlier. I'm a little ashamed, but I know you would tell me it's okay, that I should deal with my grief in my own way. That's what I loved about you. You were so understanding. It boggled my mind how you could have enough patience to deal with what you had to deal with. I guess that's just one of the reasons you were so amazing." He roughly wiped a tear away. "I want to tell you about the kids. Chad started playing soccer, and they practiced during the summer and through the season. He loves every second of it. He's also joined the art club, which is less so his style." Cruz laughed. "Apparently, they paint too much for him. He prefers using a pencil. He drew the most amazing picture of the squad and its crew from memory. He got every single detail down pat. Boden sent it to headquarters, and they put it on the web page. Looks like we have a modern-day da Vinci." He pulled two pictures from his wallet. One was of Lily, and the other was of Chad. "And Lily. She's growing so fast, and I just want her to stay little forever. I don't want her to ever turn into a child. She needs just to stay a baby forever. But now she can sit up by herself almost. She leans a little, but it's getting better. She has started making more noise than usual, but she is still the best-behaved baby in the world. I can take her out to dinner, and she will stay quiet and content the entire time. And she sleeps most of the night now, which is a huge relief."

He took a second to breathe and shake his head. "I miss you, Birch. I wish you were here for all of these things, to see our kids grow. I couldn't get a handle on things when you were gone at first. I was getting a few hours of sleep, maybe one meal a day, and I was being pulled in ten million directions by the kids. But I've gotten used to things now." He took a deep breath. "I miss you so unbelievably much. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile; that could brighten anyone's day. I miss your beautiful eyes looking at me and that smirk you always gave me. I miss you being here. And I failed on my end. I promised to take care of you and keep you safe. I made that promise to your son and to myself, and I failed." He couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes now. "I don't know why I keep going sometimes. I don't know what I'm doing; I don't know if I am doing right by our kids. I don't have anyone to tell me what to do or reassure me that I am doing the right thing. You always seemed to have a plan or idea for everything. I miss having that sense of security, the sense that you gave me. But I know I can't just shut down and forget my responsibilities. I have to take care of the kids and make sure they will have a future. I keep living for you, my beautiful Cyra." He rubbed both of his eyes and wiped his face off with his shirt. He decided just to sit there until he was ready to go. He was debating whether or not he wanted to leave or not but he heard heavy boots walking toward him. He turned around and saw Severide holding a six-pack of beer.

He saw Cruz and almost turned around. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you would be here."

"No, it's fine."

Severide held up the six-pack. "Want one?"

"Yeah, sure." He handed him a bottle, and they sat together in front of the grave. "Do you come out here often?"

Kelly shrugged. "Two or three days a week. I bring some beer and talk to her about the station and the squad. After stressful shifts, I come out here and rant. Then I play this stupid game in my mind, trying to think of what she would say. It's usually something like, 'don't be a bitch, Kelly, you run that squad. Don't take that crap from them'."

Cruz laughed. "That sounds exactly like something she would say. She didn't do that cute little girly advice. She gave you the cold, cold truth."

"Without hesitation, of course."

They both laughed and then took drinks from their beers. "It's going to sound so dumb, but I didn't know you two were very close."

"At first, I hated her. She took my job after I was the idiot that left. Then she saved my life and showed me that she wouldn't take nonsense from me. We went out a few times to get a beer and talk about rescue strategies. I learned a lot from her that I will probably use for the rest of my career and possibly my life. So, even if she's not here, I like to bring her favorite beer and tell her that she's still a part of this family. I promised that I would give Chad his first sip of beer when he's 16, make sure Lily's middle school formal date is a good guy, and make sure he knows that if he breaks her heart, I'll break his hand."

"Those are things I'm supposed to do."

"Hey, man. You know I care about you, Cyra, and the kids. The station is family. The kids have the most aunts and uncles to protect and support them."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Actually, Herrmann mentioned the school was having some art show, and I was going to ask if Chad has any pieces on display?"

"All of his pieces are for auction. His teacher allowed him to sell his to raise money for the National Fallen Firefighter Foundation.

"Hey, text me the details, and I will be there with my wallet, waiting." Cruz glanced over at Severide.

"Thanks for being her friend and mine."

"No problem." He checked his watch. "How long have you been here?"

Cruz checked his own. "Three hours. I better get going. I don't know if Casey wants to keep the kids much longer. I'll see you around Severide."

As Cruz got up and walked away, Severide shouted after him. "After next shift, you and I are going to Molly's."

Cruz gave him a thumbs up and watched Kelly toast his bottle with Cyra's headstone before he propped a beer up against it.

Cruz knocked on Matt's door. "Come on in!" He walked through the door and saw Gabby setting a plate in front of Chad and at an empty spot. "Perfect timing Cruz. Matt just finished cutting up the steak. Come and sit down." He sat next to Chad, who was happily munching on a carrot.

"Hey, Dad, do you think I could get pizza with the team after my next practice?" Cruz was slightly shocked that Chad just called him Dad. He tried to hide the shock as he made eye contact with Gabby, who was grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah. Well, it depends on if I am cool enough to go with you."

"I think you're pretty cool. Most of my friends' parents are accountants or teachers, which is pretty lame, but you're a firefighter, which is like twenty cool points in my book. And you are much cooler than Jonathan. He used to get into too many fights, and sometimes his debts would end up getting my mom put in the hospital like that one time she went missing for a day, then she was out of work for a few weeks. But anyways, you are cool. Which you will never hear me say again." Matt was frozen in the opening of the kitchen. He was holding a bowl of mac and cheese, but he had heard what Chad said. The puzzle pieces snapped into place, and Matt suddenly understood why she got into fights.

Cruz wanted to ask Chad about it but decided against it. "Uh, well, thanks for that compliment. I will remind you that you said that when you are older."

Gabby smiled, opened the apple baby food, and put it on Lily's tray. Matt regained control of his muscles and placed the food on the table before sitting next to Chad and Gabby. Gabby gave Lily a small spoon full of apples. Cruz looked around the table and realized how lucky he was despite the tragedies in his life. He had great friends that he'll have for life. He has his son, who showed him to keep his head up even in dark situations. And then there was Lily, who was just happy dipping her hands into her apples.

After dinner, Chad fell asleep watching the old show Emergency! About firefighter-paramedics in the 70's from LA county. Cruz was holding Lily, looking at her sleeping face, while Casey and Gabby were in the kitchen laughing quietly and talking.

Cyra wasn't there. That was a fact. But another fact was that his life wasn't terrible. In fact, it was pretty damn good.