WARNING: Yaoi

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sasuke, Naruto or any of the fangirls in this story :'(

A/N: I really have no excuse for how late this is - I wrote it months ago! So I am incredibly sorry and I hope you like it and and . . . and I'll update on deadline next time (Shikaku will be appearing alongside Tsunade, so don't forget to jump back to that)

Uchiha Sasuke – July 23rd

Sasuke was tired. Sasuke was tired because he had been running from his fan-girls since six o clock this morning. To be absolutely correct Sasuke had fleeing from his fan-girls (fan club attacks were the only time an Uchiha was allowed to flee and so this particular Uchiha was taking full advantage of such an allowance.

The reason for his fan-girl's persistence: it was July 23rd – his birthday. And as we all know, birthdays and valentines days are the most dangerous times of years for anyone with a fan club – particularly a shinobi's fan club (whose members are bound to be well trained and incredibly persistent in order to keep up with their "prey").

If he was honest, Sasuke only ever knew or remembered it was his birthday because of his incredibly skilled fan club. The heaps of envelopes on his side of the door and the home made cakes, chocolates, teddies and numerous other gifts that couldn't fit through the letter box and so remained heaped up on his doorstep in piles so high that even the Uchiha genius Sasuke was unable to open his front door.

This day (and Valentines Day) was the only day Sasuke was ever late for training.

This year, some of the more obsessive fan-girls had twigged that Sasuke's inability to exit via the front door would result in him using the back door and so they cleverly ambushed their favourite raven, proceeding to do such unspeakable things to the poor Uchiha that when he finally escaped back into the public eye he felt thoroughly violated.

And it only got worse when he arrived for training.

"Happy birthday Sasuke-kun!" screeched an exuberant Sakura as she handed him a perfectly wrapped rectangle.

"Oh so that's why you're late huh teme?" Naruto pouted and scrunched up his face "'I'm Sasuke, I'm special, I don't have to be on time for training because it's my birthday, I'm too popular to be on time –"

"Naruto! Stop picking on Sasuke-kun"

"But Sakura-chan!" Sakura held up a fist and Naruto was silent

"Yo!" Kakashi had finally arrived "Happy Birthday Sasuke" he added tossing something at his student. Sasuke caught it with one easy move and flipped it over to see what it was

"It's Icha Icha . . ."

"So you can follow in your beloved Sensei's footsteps and become all-powerful, just like you've always wanted" and then Kakashi pulled a move that looked suspiciously like Gai's 'nice guy' pose before adding "training's cancelled" and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Haha! Oi, Sasuke-teme, lets go eat ramen, I'll let you treat me!"

"Hn" Sasuke responded as he always did and Naruto, as always took it as a yes.

"Well I have to go, don't forget to drop by Ino's Sasuke-kun, I'm sure she's got a present for you!"

"Hn" Sakura also took this as a yes

"Huh? She didn't try to force herself on you or invite herself along, what's going on?"

"Huh" the ever-articulate Sasuke muttered and Naruto was too busy drooling over ramen to translate it (into: "she's seeing Lee and she guessed I'm gay – which is more that I can say for you, loser")

"Teme" Naruto said yet again and stuck out his bum, wiggling it in Sasuke's direction and saying in his best girly voice "'I'm Sasuke, I'm better than you, I don't even need to use words I'm so special' huh!"

"Usuratonkachi" Sasuke murmured and headed off in the direction of town.

"OI! TEME! WAIT FOR ME!!" Naruto screeched as he noticed the birthday boy (and his free ramen) disappearing, hastily sprinting after them.

It was while Naruto was enjoying his fifth bowl of ramen that Sasuke's rabid fan-girls made their second appearance of the day. Naruto, of course remained blissfully unaware of this fact, though Sasuke's super-heightened senses locked onto the danger right away.

"Oi, Sasuke, what's wrong? You look really creeped out – well for you anyway"

"Shut up dobe. There are fan-girls. Just stay very still and very quiet until I can figure out a way to get out of here"

Naruto paused for a moment, confused, and then an evil grin spread across his face. Quickly finishing his ramen and paying for it (with Sasuke's money of course) he drew in a large breath and yelled "OI! Insane fan-girls!! Sasuke-teme's over here!" And with a huge shriek Sasuke's extensive fan club had descended upon Naruto's precious ramen stand.

With the speed of the roadrunner, Sasuke had grabbed hold of Naruto's jacket and once more fled – yes fled – the scene. Unfortunately his blonde companion was still advertising their whereabouts and that damned orange outfit was not suited for stealth. Thinking fast, Sasuke ripped off one of his arm-guards and stuffed it into the mouth of his tag-along before switching to the rooftop route around Konoha.

On the way to safety there was an unexpected trip – in which Naruto, still being dragged along by the jacket, got tangled under Sasuke's legs – into the women's bathhouse, earning both boys a severe beating from the less fearless bathers and a thumbs-up from Jiraiya who had just avoided being caught due to the commotion .

Eventually both Sasuke and Naruto arrived back at the Uchiha compound, where Naruto was quick to rip out the arm guard from his mouth and hurl it at the raven.

"teme!" was all he managed to say, however, as Sasuke had just tossed the guard and it's partner into the wash along with his shirt which had been heavily doused in fan-girl drool. Naruto was now faced with a shirtless sex god. "Uh . . ." he managed

"What?" Sasuke demanded, but there was no comprehensible answer. "Che, loser"

"HEY!" Naruto yelled, finding his voice with his anger "put a shirt or something"

"It's my house" Sasuke drawled and folded his arms, turning to see a very awkward looking Naruto.

A predatory smirk slipped across the raven's face as Sasuke's inner was finally revealed after sixteen long years of repressed hormones. "So dobe, what did you get me for my birthday?"

"Nothing!" Naruto told him resolutely "you've never gotten me anything teme so why should I get you anything?"

"But I know exactly what I want" Sasuke murmured mysteriously, and Naruto couldn't help but be intrigued.

Still avoiding looking any lower than Sasuke's chest, Naruto asked carefully: "what?"

"A kiss" Sasuke said slowly and advanced towards his team mate, smirking again

"WHAT!?" Naruto began to back away from his stalker "you're not Sasuke! Give me back my Sas – I mean the real Sasuke!"

"What are you talking about idiot? I am the real Sasuke" by this time Naruto had been pinned against a wall and was unable to move as Sasuke's face came closer and closer to his.

Sasuke's inner had made its debut and it was not backing down. Being gentle with the wide-eyed blonde, Sasuke held his head still and planted a chaste kiss on Naruto's lips, smirking as he pulled away at the tomato-colouring of his victim's face.

"That's not fair!" Naruto whined as Sasuke turned away once more "I didn't give it to you! You stole it! Give it back!!"

Sasuke paused, and looked back over his shoulder at Naruto (whose eyes were currently wandering down to where his shorts ended). He moved closer to Naruto once more and it suddenly dawned on the blonde that he had said exactly what Sasuke wanted. "Uwah! That's not what I meant! Stay back! You can keep it! No, Sasuke –"

It was too late, Sasuke had already reached him and was bending down to restore the kiss.

"Say 'happy birthday Sasuke!'"

"happy birthday Sasuke" Naruto mumbled, as he curled up in a ball of orange and blue. Sasuke had stolen his first three kisses without even asking! As soon as his birthday was over Naruto was going to show him . . .

Success! Crowed Sasuke's inner, and for one the original Sasuke agreed. A very happy birthday to me.

End!

We heart reviewers :3