DISCLAIMER: In the beginning there was fiction, and the creators of fiction saw their fans and knew that their creation was good, to ensure that their fans were eternally loyal the creators demanded that no fan-inspired stories were created, but the fans could not help themselves and thus was born : FANFICTION!

A/N: I felt such a dramatic disclaimer was necessary as I'm not 100 percent happy with the story, but up it goes nonetheless! And I hope you enjoy it. (And also, It's on time again!)

Kakuzu – September 4th

There was giggling in the Akatsuki hideout – Kakuzu could feel it – and Kakuzu did not appreciate giggling. It must be stopped, at all costs, but where was it coming from? The most obvious choice would be Tobi's room, but Deidara and Sasori's room was right next to his and the pair of them despised giggling (though you'd never have thought of it the way the blonde teased his danna so mercilessly). Giggling was off-limits.

But who could it be? Pein's manic laughter was far more hysterical, Konan didn't laugh – ever – let alone giggle, Kakuzu doubted either half of Zetsu had even encountered the word giggle, so who did that leave? Himself (obviously not) Itachi (he hoped not, that would probably spell out that the apocalypse was nigh) Kisame (that was unlikely, and even if it was him he was under the Uchiha's protection) and . . . Hidan.

But that was impossible – wasn't it? His silver-haired partner would never stoop to such lows. He feared he may be wrong however, and as he made his way to the area of the hideout in which he and Hidan were roomed, those fears seemed shortly to be confirmed. Stopping just outside their room, Kakuzu could definitely hear his partner trying to hold back choked giggles.

"What is the meaning of this degradation?" Kakuzu hissed as he threw open the door to their room to see Hidan lying on the floor of their rooms in tears.

"hehe . . . fuck, Kakuzu . . . I . . . hehe . . .can't . . . hehe . . . fucking . . . hehe . . . help it"

"What?" Kakuzu was confused

"I hehe . . . found . . . tehehehee. . . BABY PICTURES! Bwahhahahaa!" the giggles turned abruptly to full-blown hysterics as Hidan became incapable of holding back his amusement any longer.

Kicking himself for not having noticed them earlier, Kakuzu saw several polaroids scattered across the floor, all depicting him as a very tiny baby sucking his theumb, lying on his back with legs in the air, and one of him in the full-blown baby nude.

Survival instincts kicked in instantly.

Flying forwards, Kakuzu grabbed his partner by the neck and smashed him against the nearest wall "You will tell no one about these pictures."

"Why the fuck not?" In his surprise, Hidan had stopped giggling.

"Because if you do, I'll blow you into teeny-tiny little pieces and never sew you back together again"

"Fuck"

"Are we clear?" Hidan nodded bitterly "good. Now I don't know how you got them or what it cost you – burn them. Now" one look from Kakauzu was enough to make Hidan comply and he picked them up stroppily, leaving to deliver them to Itachi for incineration.

I hope he doesn't bump into Kisame were Kakuzu's only thoughts.

A few months later, just as Kakuzu was beginning to think he was safe, Hidan burst into the room with an evil smile on his face.

"Kakuzu, come quickly bitch! Kisame's got something for you"

"What is it?" Kakuzu growled suspiciously

"It's a fucking surprise" Hidan replied and turned tail from the room, practically forcing Kakuzu to follow him.

When the two of them reached Kisame's room, it appeared that the whole Akatsuki had gathered to witness . . . something. Kakuzu was now more on guard than ever.

"What is it Kisame?" he demanded gruffly

"Is that any way to address someone who's just made you a delicious birthday cake?"

"A what?" something was very wrong here, it didn't take Kisame and Hidan's matching anticipatory smiles to work that out.

"Come and see" Hidan prompted and, treading carefully, Kakuzu moved over to see what was going on.

When, after what felt like miles of walking under the stares and smirks of the entire organisation, Kakuzu reached his "surprise" and time seemed to stop.

There, in front of him, was a rectangular cake of mostly white icing and a large picture of a very naked baby Kakuzu, thumb securely in mouth and staring straight at the camera. Hidan couldn't help himself – the look on his partner's face was too much – he began to giggle uncontrollably.

His giggles were, unsurprisingly, swiftly cut off as Kakuzu seized him by the throat once again. Hidan's eyes widened in shock at the look of menace – mixed in with a slight hint of insanity – in his partner's oddly coloured eyes.

"H-happy birthday?" he squeaked in a most un-Hidan-like way and Kakuzu's smile widened manically

"Hidan go BOOM"

OWARI!

Poor Kakuzu, I truly feel for him.

"Hidan go BOOM!"

Reviews loved as always! x