A/N: I meant to finish this story sooner, but I went into preterm labor and was taken out of work. I spent the rest of my pregnancy suffering from intense contractions every 5 minutes and went to L&D three times to be turned away for "stalling" at a 2 and undilating. They finally induced me 2 days before my due date and I had a healthy baby girl that pooped in utero. I had a 4th degree episiotomy and fractured my tail bone pushing too hard. She was 8lbs 8.3ozs and 21" long. I am finally healed and we're going great!

alchemistmagiciangirl - Thank you for the review! Nice to see another FF mommy on here! I am lucky, my daugther is very calm and peaceful.

walkingivy - I saw the opportunity and ran with it! Heh.

Life the Fay - There is a reason for everything

Hellfire - I agree! LOL

wlk68 & weirdo4life - Thanks!

The day of the funeral the sun hid behind clouds, as if it were ashamed to be seen on such a day, as if it, too, mourned the lost of it's golden child. I could only stare at Sage's face until my vision blurred with tears. As we walked away from him one last time I could hear my heart rip apart and I fell to my knees and cried. Somehow Kento and Ryo dragged me to the car kicking and screaming like a small child. The ride home was quiet and awkward, everyone was lost in their own thoughts of our comrades.

That was the last time I saw Kento and Ryo that year. I found a new friend, someone I could trust in, someone who was always there for me, someone who kept me warm and never got tired of me. Most importantly, someone who could never leave me, the only friend I needed. I buried myself in the bottle or anything else that promised to help me escape reality for a while. Mia come by many times to clean my apartment of all the beer bottles and trash and I ignored her, she always offered me help in her own way, but the visits died down until she quit coming by at all.

"Rowen-" The redhead started looking around the apartment in disgust.

"Dun start, Dun wanna hear it." He downed another bottle of beer, watching the foaming trail down the sides of the bottle, as if he didn't have a care in the world.

The woman sighed in defeat and shrugged. "Fine."

She headed to the door and paused, turning back to look at him. "This is it then. I can't stand around any more and watch you destroy yourself. I can't stand by and watch someone else I love die. Goodbye Rowen."

The door slammed closed behind her and Rowen squeezed his eyes shut as a single tear slid down his face.

Once Mia gave up on me, I gave up on me, but Ryo didn't. Mia told him everything and he came to the apartment with a disgusted Kento close on his heels. They cleaned the own place, ignoring my protests. Kento grabbed me off the couch and carried me to the bathroom where Ryo stood with the detachable shower head.

"What the fuck are you - glahhhg!" Rowen squirmed and fought in the shower, but the two other Ronins held him down, spraying the icy water over him.

"Time to sober up, Rowen."

It was a long battle, but I got sober, and started getting my life on track. I owed them a lot for getting me out of the bottle, believing in me when everyone else had walked out on me. I accompanied Kento to Cye's grave every day to leave flowers or to check on it. I think in his own way, Kento knew exactly what I was going through more than anyone. As many times as we saw Cye, I could never bring myself to visit Sage's gravesite.

Two years passed quickly and I still hadn't healed, but I had moved on with my life and spent a lot of time in my studies. It was on the eve of the anniversary that Ryo came to me. He told me it was time, that I needed to say goodbye to Sage and let go of everything. I told him I would never let go, I could never forget Sage. He said nothing, but watched me with a knowing look. We both knew, I didn't want to admit it, but it was time.

I sat and watched the sunrise, leaned next to the cold grave. It was the first sunrise I had seen since that morning and I felt the tears begin to fall down my face. It was wrong... everything was wrong. Everything I had wanted to say, everything on the tip of my tongue now sat empty and heavy on my heart. It was then I realized that I had hated Sage these last two years, I hated him for leaving me, for knowing and never saying anything. Always trying to protect me from getting hurt and in the end he had hurt me by leaving me behind. More tears fell, hot on my cheeks and I felt a catch in my throat, but I couldn't hold it back. I cried for the first time since the funeral, I cried for all the grief of my lost friends, everything in my heart, for anyone that had to suffer like me. It was then that the sun peaked just over the horizon and lit the grave stone next to me, sparkling on it as it had once down to golden hair.

It was then that I felt it, as if someone was sitting next to me, hand on mine, and I turned to look at golden hair as it rested on my shoulder. The image faded as face as it had come, but the feeling did not. It was a feeling that I had been ignoring for two years, a feeling Kento had every day. He was there with me, not physically, but Sage would always be with me, even Cye. I stared back up at the sun as it rose and shined brighter then I'd ever known.

It was then when I knew I'd be alright.