This chapter occurs during the episode Zero hour.

Trip

They'd done it. The spheres were destroyed, the thermabaric clouds were dissipating, the weapon was destroyed, Earth was saved... the Captain was dead. Trip sat in his room going through the list over and over again: spheres, clouds, weapon, Earth, Captain. It was almost as if he could only accept the first four items if he could accept the last. He couldn't accept it. He feels like he should celebrate, or cry, or rage or pray or something. But he just sits there going through the list in his head: spheres, clouds, weapon, Earth, Captain.

The whistle of his door breaks through his mantra. "Come." He calls. He has a strange certainty it will be T'Pol.

She walks in and looks at him, sitting on the edge of his bunk. "I couldn't sleep." She tells him. Her voice has its usual blandness but her face is a study of emotion.

"I can't either." He replies.

"The Aquatics should have made a decision by tomorrow as to whether or not they will transport us back to Earth." She explains, surprisingly. He already knows this, she knows he knows it. It is unlike her to state the obvious.

"It would be nice if we don't have to try and coax this broken bucket of bolts home," he replies, maybe she just wants to make conversation. Which is unlike her as well, but a lot of things she's done recently are unlike her, so he plays along

She sits down on the bed next to him, close enough that he can feel her thigh against his. "Do you think we could have done anything differently." She looks at him, eyes wide as she says it.

It is also unlike her to have insecurities. "Of course we could have, but there's no saying things would have turned out better if we did." He takes a chance and holds her hand. "The mission was a success, against impossible odds. We saved Earth, we saved the galaxy, I don't think we've got anything to be ashamed of."

"We didn't save the Captain." She sounds sad.

"No we didn't." What else can he say. He can't quite figure out this new emotional T'Pol. He feels like she keeps moving within his reach then skittering away before he gets the chance to grab her. Suddenly he feels exhausted by it. He finds himself wishing for the old T'Pol whose only expression was a raised eyebrow. He let's go of her hand. "Look, I'm tired, you're tired, I think we should just get some sleep while we can. There are going to be a lot of questions when we get back to Earth. We shouldn't waste this opportunity to sleep."

She gives him a look like a wounded swan. Shit, what's he supposed to do, just leave himself open to be stomped all over again.

She looks at the floor and wrings her hands "I don't want to sleep alone, can I stay with you?"

He should say no. He should say no. He should say no. "Okay." He says. Who is he kidding, where she is concerned it seems he will always leave himself open to be stomped all over.

They strip to their underwear and climb beneath the sheets. She presses herself against him and lays her head on his chest. He lies, dead still and stares at the ceiling. He can feel her blinking eyelashes tickling his chest through his top. He doesn't know how long they lie like that before he realises her breathing has changed and he no longer feels her flicking eyelashes.

He lets out a sigh and falls asleep, listening to the sound of her breathe.

T'Pol

She wakes up, lying on her side with him behind her, his body enveloping hers, his scent in her nose, and his hardness pressed against her lower back. A longing starts to build within her. She wants him closer. She wants to contain him, absorb him, feel herself wrapped around him.

She lies still, trying not to wake him.

She thinks about the first time together. Driven by an emotion she could not name, and a need she could not comprehend, she had offered herself to him. He had not her turned away, not hesitated, even for a moment, he'd been waiting for her and she'd come to him.

At the time it had seemed so obvious, so clear. The new emotions had washed her in one direction, into his arms. It was there, surrounded by him, all around her and inside her, that she had found relief and release from the maelstrom of emotion she had unleashed.

The tide hade pulled her back agin in the morning. The fear of how far from herself she had gone, the realisation of how far she had moved away from the Vulcan way. She is still lost, no longer Vulcan, but not able to be human either.

She has pulled him to her, then pushed him away again, as she has ridden the strange, random waves of feeling she has unleashed. She knows he is confused and hurt, she is better at reading his emotions than her own.

She turns in his arms so they are face to face. She strokes a hand down his cheek, feeling the roughness of his stubble. She swipes the pad of her thumb across his lips and feels the damp warmth of his breath. She lifts her gaze from his mouth to his eyes to find he is awake and watching her.

She knows she should stop but Dr Phlox is right, she has released the genie, it can't be put back. She runs a finger over his eyebrow, down the side of his face, around the curve of his ear, holding his gaze all the time. She lifts her finger from his ear and traces the length of his nose, not stopping at the tip but continuing down over his lips and chin, straight down his neck and stopping in the suprasternal notch. His arm lowers around her and he pulls her hips tight against his. He is hard against her. Warmth pools in her core. She rests her hand against his chest and feels his heartbeat against her palm.

She realised that this is right, he is right. The only thing in her life that is right is him. She accepts her fate and kisses him.

He wraps both his arms around her and pulls her tight against his chest. He rolls onto his back, taking her with him, not breaking the kiss. Straddling him she sits up, settling into the cradle of his hips. She slides her hands under his top and pushes it up. He arches his back and lifts his shoulders as she moves the shirt up his torso, never taking his eyes off hers. She leans forward to pull the shirt over his head and dips her head to kiss him as she throws it aside. He brings his hands down to rest on her hips and she sits up again.

He glides his hands up her sides, taking her top with it. He takes it towards her head and when he can't reach any further, she finishes removing it and tosses it in the direction of his. His hands move round to cup her breasts, thumbs circling her nipples. She drops her head back and grinds into his pelvis.

There are too many clothes between them still. She bends down and places a kiss in the hollow of his throat, where her finger rested only moments ago. She inches along his body, planting a line of kisses, sliding her body down, grabbing his underwear as she goes, which soon join his discarded top on the floor. She crawls back up him and settles over his thighs, just above his knees.

She looks down at him, long and hard, and remembers what it was like to have him inside her. She wraps her hand around him and strokes him. He takes a shaky breath and closes his eyes. Not sure what is possessing her, she leans forward and takes him in her mouth. He gasps and his hips jolt convulsively off the bed. She can't help but feel satisfaction at his response. She marvels at herself when she realises she used to consider kissing unhygienic.

She continues to work him with her mouth. It seems illogical that this should bring her pleasure as well, but she can feel a tightness in her stomach a hollow pulsing between her legs. He groans suddenly and she realises she's bringing him close, she releases him and slides up his body to kiss him again.

He moves suddenly and flips them over so she is on her back. Before she can react he has removed her underwear and covered her body with his own. He attacks her mouth with his, thrusting in his tongue. She wraps her legs around him. She can feel him pressed against her entrance, he is still damp from her mouth. He slides against her and it's almost more that she can bear. Her breathing comes in short pants. She places her hands on his buttocks, trying to pull him into her.

Finally, he positions himself and slides inside her. She pulls a shaking breath into her lungs, which she doesn't let go as he begins to move. He dips his head to kiss her again then places his mouth next to here ear.

"Breathe, baby" he whispers. "breathe."

XXX