Chapter Two: I AreCoolness
I strutted down my-the-hallway. The "OMG!!!" looks that the ladies were shooting me were slightly odd, but I let it pass. It couldn't possibly be because my hair is so fucked up and I have a huge effing scar like a lightning bolt in the middle of my awesome head, although some people have told me that's why I get these looks. They were obviously surveying the awesomeness aura that spreads out from me like a freaking halo. (Yeah, I've been mistaken for an angel before. Especially by myself. Happens a lot.) Ron trailed behind me like my little abused puppy. I've been thinking about getting him a cute pink collar and a pretty leash with Golden Snitches on it. You dig?
I found Draco leaning against my wall. I was immediately sent into ultracool rage. Eww! How dare he uglify my wall with that greasy blonde mop of his?! I could catch whatever he has! Can you say total yuckiness?
"Yo,Malfoy," I growled in a sultry low tone.
"Potter," squeaked Malfoy in a preadolescent voice. Someone had been hitting the helium a wee bit too hard. Either that or he was scared of me like every other loser. Probably both.
"I hear you been beating on my main man Weasley," I spat at him. "What the shizzle, yo?"
Malfoy cleared his throat. "Take a Prozac, Harry," someone growled over my shoulder. It was Hot Hermione. Ron was literally drooling. Very unquelle.
"I mean really, no one talks like that anymore," Hermione explained. "And what in God's name is a shizzle?!" Okay, now a femme was questioning me? An amazingly hot one? This day was turning out to be a total drag.
"Back off, Hermy," I replied. "This isn't your shindig."
"Call me Hermy again and I'll shove your wand up your ass and around the corner!" She slapped me! And it huuuuurt! I was about to tell her off, but she smiled and winked at Malfoy, who followed her out.
Ron started sobbing. I rolled my eyes in angst. How could this happen to me? ME? HARRY POTTER?