Warning: some of the jokes may be inspired by the Yugioh Abridged series created by LittleKuriboh. If you have a fear of a bridge, then kindly press Alt F4. (don't actually)
(Chapter 2: The Chazz Princeton Way)
It was about a week after the applicants for Duel Academy had taken their dreaded entrance exams and now, it was time for the passing students to leave and head to Duel Academy for 3 years of learning how to play a card game about holographic monsters and do school work at the same time. Every kid's dream come true! Well, except for Shougo from the Toei movie, but screw him, that's not canon here.
After zooming through yet another crowd at near sonic speeds, Jaden was busy getting on board the highly impractical, egotistical and overly expensive Kaiba Corp blimp that would take the students to Duel Academy. It seemed that the also highly impractical and expensive Blue-Eyes White Dragon Jet was just the tip of the iceberg for Seto Kaiba. Jaden had already checked in his baggage and endured the other hardships of the airport. Mainly security. Because for some unknown reason, the METAL duel disks that were REQUIRED to be worn if going to Duel Academy, caused the METAL detectors to go haywire, forcing every student to go through the painstaking process of being examined for a bomb, or a gun.
Eventually, Jaden managed to get to the front of the line. The tired-looking worker blankly stared at him. "Ticket?" he asked in a bored tone. Jaden fumbled around with his pockets and then took out his ticket and handed it to the worker. The worker scanned the ticket, gave it back to Jaden and let him aboard the blimp with a tired wave.
Once aboard, he headed for his designated seat on board the gigantic blimp. His seat happened to be a window seat on the middle floor of the ship at the front, one of the 1st Class seats aboard the Kaiba Corp blimp. In other words, it was the same thing as every seat on board, because Kaiba is rich. Soon a flight attendant came up to him and passed him a box, containing things he would need for Duel Academy. He placed the box beside him and sat down.
Since this was a 1rst Class seat or a normal seat aboard a highly expensive aircraft, there was a table beside each of the seats to place things. On the tabletop was a button that would get rid of the table since nobody in their right mind would play a trading card game on a table. Each of the seats on board had been separated and had their own fancy tables, with the exception of window seats, where there were two seats beside each other with a table in front of them.
After the worker left, Jaden leaned down and swiftly threw his head into the box. A normal person would have seen a new Academy duel disk… for some reason, even though they were required to bring their own, several of their respective colour uniforms and some complimentary deck holders. However, Jaden is not normal, as he forgot to open the box before diving in headfirst, meaning he went headfirst into the oddly hard cardboard. Dazed, he decided not to get up and instead rest his head on the box. It was at this moment the object-holding cardboard cube decided to cave in and his head bonked into the duel disk inside. On the bright side, his head was now in the box. On the downside, his head hurt like hell. Before he could recover, however, he heard a female voice beside him.
"Damn it, I got one of the shared seats! And the other person had to be a guy! I've been surrounded by idiotic perverts in the airport and now I have to deal with one beside me for this entire flight!" the voice ranted.
Jaden sighed. From what he could hear, the person that would sit beside him was female and was also mad. Two things that would chemically create pain when merged together. He decided that the only thing he could do was try and make the angry female not so angry since he couldn't run due to having a window seat, making his only exit, where the angry female was.
Deciding to get the pain over with, he attempted to pull his head out of the box.
…
He couldn't.
Somehow, he had made a hole in the box large enough to fit his head going in, but not enough to account for his head when coming out. In other words, he was stuck. He tried for a bit to escape, before sighing in defeat.
Outside of the box, the teenage girl beside him had finished ranting and was blankly watching the boy struggle in his cardboard head prison. When she saw the boy had stopped moving, she rolled her eyes and grabbed the sides of the box.
Before Jaden could register that something else was holding the box, she pulled as hard as she could. The result was that the box managed to come clean off the boys head. However, she happened to have pulled from the bottom of the box, and out of the hole came the duel disk. Jaden didn't even see it coming.
-WHAP-
In an awkward, yet hilarious movement, the duel disk fell out of the box and smashed into Jaden's temple, knocking him out cold. His body fell to the floor, no longer supported by his consciousness.
The girl just stared at the situation in partial amusement and partial shock. Suddenly, minutes after getting aboard the blimp, she had managed to find herself beside an unconscious boy. Yay. Shipping fodder, just what she needed.
Sighing, she leaned forward and took a good look at Jaden. The first thing that came to her mind was recognition as she realized that this was the boy who had beaten Crowler with a very obscure, yet amazing card. The second thing was alarm when she saw the spot where the disk had hit him. It was bleeding. The wound wasn't life-threatening, but definitely should be treated as soon as possible.
As awkward as the situation would have been, she had no choice but to take him down to the first aid area of the ship. Carefully, she picked up Jaden's stuff and placed it on his seat. Then, she contemplated how she would carry the unconscious boy in front of her. He was shorter than her and relatively light, so she decided to just carry him in her arms, somewhat resembling bridal style. With Jaden in arms, she walked out of the seating area and headed for the bottom floor, where the first aid center was.
While walking, most of the other students turned around and stared at her while she walked. A lot of boys shot glares at the unconscious kid, but most of them stopped when they noticed the blood, running along his forehead. However, one of the kids who saw this was not pleased with this at all. "How dare that totally unconscious kid who has no control over the situation he is in and is probably in that girl's arms because of an accident, take my future soulmate away from me!" Chazz thought, glaring at Jaden as the girl walked past him.
She mostly ignored the attention that was sent her way, focusing her attention on Jaden. He was out cold but seemed content and dreaming as he shook a little bit while they walked. His face seemed very happy, something that she was a bit suspicious about until she heard him sleep talk a bit. "I… ac...tivat..e a Trap…. Card… heh…" the boy mumbled in his unconscious state. "Dueling in his dream… huh." she quietly commented to herself. She looked up from the boy to see where she was and sighed in relief as the first aid center was right in front of her. She calmly walked in.
In the first aid center, the doctors were both baffled that an injury had happened even before the flight had begun and also baffled at how the boy got hurt in the first place. Thankfully, all that was needed was some gauze to stop the bleeding and a bit of medication in case of headaches caused by the incident. Somehow, Jaden's flawless body had escaped a concussion. For now.
Soon after, the girl was busy carrying a now bandaged up Jaden back to their seats, before the flight even began. She received a similar reaction from her surrounding peers, but yet again paid no attention to them. When she got back onto the floor where this random adventure started, two familiar faces greeted her. "OMG Alexis! Why are you like holding a boy?" one of them asked. She was a somewhat short, hyperactive girl, with black hair that curled a bit at the back, wearing the standard Obelisk Blue uniform for women. "Did you like, reject him so hard you split his head or something?" the other girl asked. She was a brunette with long hair that spiked downwards, wearing an identical uniform to the other girl.
Alexis sighed at her friend's tendencies to overreact. "Sorry girls, haven't perfected my own version of the "Mind Crush", just yet. He just got into an accident and I was beside him, so I decided to help him out." Alexis said, before walking past them and laying Jaden down onto his seat. After that, Alexis turned back around to chat with her friends before take-off. "So, Jass, Mindy, where are you girls seated?" she asked in a slightly more cheerful tone. The brunette, Jass, pointed towards the seats in front of Alexis and Jaden. "We got the seats in front of you," she replied.
She then turned around, expecting Mindy to come up with a following statement, only to see a Mindy shaped dust cloud beside her. Confused she turned around the other way to see Mindy on top of her seat. "Check this out, Lexi!" Mindy squealed, before pressing a button on her seat, rotating it, so it would face Alexis's seat. Unfortunately, she was still on top of her seat, so when it rotated, she lost her grip and slammed into the seat. Thankfully, Kaiba Corp uses only the finest materials for the seats onboard their aircraft, unlike their duel disks, so Mindy was fine.
Jasmine facepalmed. She then went to her seat and flipped the same switch, except she was on the floor, unlike Mindy, so she was unaffected by the rotation of the chair. She was, however, victim to her own high heels, and somehow she slipped on thin air, ending up in a similar position as Mindy.
Alexis just sat into her seat, watching her friends scramble to get seated themselves with an amused smile. Conveniently, after they were all seated, the PA system aboard sounded.
-Attention Duelists, this is your captain speaking. We are about to take off. Here at Kaiba Corp Airlines, we don't bother with safety announcements or demonstrations because our owner is obscenely rich, so feel free to look at the mandatory safety booklet in the bottom compartment of your table. Kaiba Corp is not responsible for your safety because our owner is obscenely rich unless you are a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program, in which we ask for your patience as we make snide remarks at those who are not a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program. Please remain seated until the seatbelt signal above you is shut off. After we reach our desired altitude, flight attendants will come by shortly to perform "services" towards those in the Kaiba Corp rewards program. For those who are not a part of the Kaiba Corp rewards program, you don't get service. We thank you again, for being forced bc to choose Kaiba Corp Airlines, unless you are not a part of the rewards program, where the only message we have for you is **** you. Complimentary censorship is only available for Kaiba Corp rewards program members.-
As the blimp began to take off, Alexis began to feel a weird feeling in the back of her head, as if she forgot something. At this point the blimp was still barely floating off the ground, main engines not turned on yet. Something was wrong, but she didn't know what. She turned her head towards Jaden, still sleeping soundly, lying down in the seat like an adorable kitten. She looked back towards her fri- Wait, lying down in the seat?! She did a double-take and lo and behold, Jaden was indeed lying down in his seat. Without a seatbelt. Or anything else stopping his inertia from flinging him across the ship. Just before Alexis could correct the mistake, suddenly the blimp blasted backwards, sending the still unconscious Jaden forwards, as in accordance with Newton's First Law.
The sudden movement sent the unconscious Jaden into the only thing in front of him. Mindy. Alexis and Jasmine winced and closed their eyes, bracing themselves for the inevitable scream that would ensue.
…
…
…?
Alexis slowly opened one eye and looked in Mindy's direction in confusion. Upon seeing what had actually happened, both of her eyes were wide open and her jaw had dropped as far as it could. Jasmine followed suit.
Instead of a screaming Mindy, throwing an injured Jaden off of her, instead, Mindy had both of her arms wrapped around Jaden's arms and torso, cuddling and squishing her body against him in the same seat with stars glistening in her eyes, like a kid on Christmas morning. Somehow Jaden was still asleep.
"He's so cute and squishy~ I just wanna hug him forever~" she quietly squeaked, cuddling the still unconscious boy. Jasmine stared at her shocked. "I-Is.. W-wha… Let me try!" she quickly said, swiftly snatching Jaden out of Mindy's arms, before squishing him herself. To her surprise, Jaden was indeed very squishy, like a Marshmallon plushy, and his content, childish sleeping face melted Jasmine's heart.
"You're like totally right! He's super squishy and adorable~" she squealed in a more high pitch tone. Mindy pouted and reached her arms out to grab Jaden back. "Back off he's mine!" she shouted while grabbing Jaden's body back. Jasmine resisted. "You had your turn, gimme!" she shouted back. Soon, Jaden was being comically pulled from both ends by the seated girls.
It was at this moment Jaden's body decided to wake him up. "Huh?"
Imagine his reaction as he was greeted with the sparkling faces of two teenage girls, both tightly holding him. "Uh.. wha-" he mumbled as the girls tightened their hold on him.
"OMG, his face is even cuter awake!"
"So cute~"
Alexis groaned. This would take a long time to explain.
...
It was about an hour after the initial incident. Alexis had finished introducing everyone to a very confused Jaden and explaining exactly what had transpired for him to end up in a situation that most men would enjoy. The blimp was now at the desired altitude and the sounds of "service" were being heard all across the blimp. The satisfied sighs of students that had finally reached the climax… of their 5 star meals.
"So… that… ugh… happened.. Ah, uh.. Anyways… thanks, Alexis… ow!" Jaden stammered as he was still stuck in the iron grip of the two females who were fawning over his "cute" looks.
"Um, you're welcome? I feel like trying to pry off Mindy and Jasmine off at this point would be… difficult. Um, do you need anything Jaden? You kinda didn't finish unboxing and stuff before you got knocked out." Alexis replied plainly.
"Um.. yeah! Can you place the things from the box into the above compartment, please? Didn't get a chance to do it since I was well, unconscious." Jaden said, still unable to move.
"Alright, let me just-" Alexis began. However, little did Alexis and Jaden know, that his suitcase was not properly locked.
The second Alexis opened the compartment, a literal flood of Kuriboh plushies flung out of the compartment, completely filling the area that the 3 girls and 1 boy were in with them. This only further encouraged Jasmine and Mindy. "OMG HE HAS LIKE SO MANY PLUSHIES!" Jasmine screamed. "Cuuuuuuuute~" Mindy squealed. Jaden sighed in embarrassment. "Forgot about… suitcase…" he mumbled, trying not to drown in the sea of plushies.
As the commotion escalated, people surrounding the area began to take an interest in what was going on. It wasn't every day you would see 2 girls surrounding one guy in a sea of plushies aboard a highly expensive blimp. Chazz, on the other hand, was infuriated. "How? We haven't even gotten to Duel Academy and he already has more attention than me! I'll make that bastard pay! The Chazz Princeton Way!" Chazz grumbled.
Eventually, several hours had passed. The blimp had finished docking at Duel Academy and the students were disembarking from the ship. One student, in particular, was having a… difficult time getting off of the blimp. This person happened to be Jaden Yuki, with Mindy and Jasmine plastered to his legs as he slowly made his way off the blimp. Since she had nothing better to do, Alexis simply tagged along, watching Jaden slowly reach the main academy building. Somehow, he had managed to change into his uniform onboard without Mindy and Jasmine attached to him. He donned a blue jacket that was as long as a trench coat and the rest of his outfit matched the jacket. Jaden was placed in Obelisk Blue, most likely a piece of work by Crowler.
Soon, all the new first-year students were gathered in the main auditorium of the academy. Somehow, Jaden had conveniently managed to get as far away as possible from Jasmine and Mindy (With the sacrifice of many Kuriboh plushies) and was currently standing with the rest of the new freshman students, right beside his friends Syrus and Bastion, who may or may not had helped dislodge Jasmine and Mindy from him.
Then, the cartoonishly large HD screen in the auditorium lit up, revealing a bald man dressed in a red jacket. Most of the students recognized him. The others, mostly first-year Obelisks, wondered who the giant, bald Slifer Slacker was. They were given an answer by none other than Crowler himself.
"For all of you who are wondering who that person on the big screen is, well… He is none other than Sheppard! The Principal of Duel Academy!" Crowler shouted. This caught several people off guard, mostly the first-year Obelisks. "Our school is led by a Slifer Slacker? What is this bullshit?" an arrogant Obelisk who is not Jaden yelled. Crowler scowled at the Obelisk boy. "Open your eyes, young scholar. He wears not a red jacket but a slightly darker red jacket!"
A chorus of "Ohhh's" and "Ahhh's" came from the crowd of oblivious kids. Sheppard facepalmed, but no one could tell. His screen was static. Suddenly, the screen shifted to him with his mouth open, and then closed, with no sound. This caused even more confusion. Then a buffering circle appeared for a few seconds.
"I wa- To we- Du-..."
Random noises began to come out of the speaker, almost as if the speaker was cutting off 80% of the noise that was supposed to come out. Crowler groaned, before grabbing a megaphone and yelling through it. "SHEPPARD! YOU ARE LAGGING! STOP USING YOUR BROKEN ASS FLIP PHONE THAT IS SOMEHOW IMPERVIOUS TO MY SLEDGEHAMMER AND USE THE COMPUTER. NO ONE HERE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU!" he screamed, almost making everyone else in the room deaf.
"Fu- u- Cro- ler-..."
More cut off words came out of the speaker, but this time everyone understood perfectly.
"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Crowler shouted, still having his megaphone on. Everyone else groaned in defeat. This was going to be a very long opening ceremony.
After droning through the loudest and most pointless argument they had ever heard, at least for those who could still hear since at least 10 students went deaf from the assembly, everyone went for their dorms. Syrus was sent to the Slifer Red dorm, Bastion made it to Ra Yellow, and as for Jaden, he was lost. Like very lost. After moving around for a bit, trying to find his dorm, despite being the most obvious building on the island besides the actual school building, he managed to make it to the Obelisk Blue… dueling arena.
"Huh… where the actual hell is the dorms?" Jaden wondered out loud. Several Obelisks who were watching a duel and turned around head Jaden's footsteps behind them and was about to kick him out, until they saw his blue jacket, showing that he was an Obelisk just like them. One of the Obelisks that was sitting in the stands noticed Jaden and called him out. "So, you're the kid who beat Crowler huh? I guess Obelisk Blue does fit you for that. My name is Chazz Princeton, the future King of Games, and those who say otherwise, get taught a lesson the Chazz Princeton way! And what I mean by that is that we beat the everloving shit out of you." Chazz yelled arrogantly.
Jaden narrowed his eyes. "O..kay then. That's… a way to introduce yourself…" he said carefully. He was about to walk away before something, or rather someone… or rather someone and someone else rammed him from the side, knocking him to the ground. Jaden paled when he realized who they were.
"You thought you could escape us, squishy boy, ~"
"But you can't~"
"Oh god please someone help, they're going to crack me up… literally… my spine… help!" Jaden cried as Jasmine and Mindy had latched themselves upon him once more. All the other Obelisk boys almost felt jealous, until they heard a "CRACK" in which they instead felt very happy they were not in Jaden's position. Even the loner, emo Chazz was thankful he wasn't being bearhugged by the two unusually strong girls that like to latch onto squishy people. For that reason, he was also thankful his skin wasn't very squishy. Thank god caviar and edible gold don't do that to a person despite both being very soft foods.
Thankfully for Jaden, his saving grace came up to him. An even stronger woman with a temper that can break the fourth wa-
(Authors note: AHHHHHHHHHHHH SHE'S COME FOR ME… I mean continue the stor- AHHHHHHHH THAT'S A RAZOR SHARP NAIL FILER!)
-ll. In other words, Alexis had come to unlatch the parasites. And when I mean parasites, I mean boy-hungry girls who are somehow single in a girl-hungry boy school.
"How about instead of latching onto Jaden, we go and get to the Obelisk welcoming dinner. You know. The thing we are going to be late too if we don't run now." Alexis warned.
Everyone got the message and the only thing left in the arena was a bunch of comically shaped dust clouds… and apparently a random sign with a chibi Jaden head on it with the words "I LEFT THE ROOM" written on it.
The Obelisk welcoming dinner was an extravagant party in the Obelisk Blue dorm, containing only the finest of wines- wait they are too young to drink that… uh… I mean the most extravagant beers- no… that's alcoholic too… uhhh... screw the legal age of alcohol! I have 4th wall powers! They were all drinking responsibly anyways… at least 5% of them were… ah, fuck it. It was a fucking baller party that nobody remembered and since Duel Island is owned by Seto Kaiba, he makes the rules… which means there are none since he screwed them all.
(Author's Note: This is a one-time occurrence for a "screw the rules" joke and should not be treated seriously. I do not condone the illegal drinking of alcohol for minors. Also, this will be magically retconned tomorrow, so no hangovers lol.)
As for Jaden, Alexis and Chazz, all of which were conveniently alcohol intolerant, they instead were munching on extravagant fermented milk curds… I mean cheese, as well as black and salty fish eggs… I mean caviar, as well as only the best slimy stuffed snails… I mean escargot… actually, that's the same thing, but in a different language… huh.
As the three not drunk teenagers in a room full of very drunk teenagers, despite most of them only drinking very weak wines, they did the most sensible thing possible. Take as much food as possible and run. They ended up eating their very fancy food in the nearby school building, in a hallway on a table.
"I hope they don't serve alcohol like that every day," Jaden commented while biting down on some gold-covered fried shrimp.
"I agree." Chazz and Alexis both replied, both finishing… some rich food of some sort.
After finishing, Chazz remembered what had happened on the plane with Jaden. Now was the perfect time to impress Alexis and get her out of Jaden's arms. Even though it was the other way around on the blimp.
"By the way Jaden, I challenge you to a duel! An ante duel!" Chazz yelled loudly.
Jaden looked up from his fried shrimp. "But where can we duel? There is a table here, and why would anyone play a card game on a table?" he replied nonchalantly.
Chazz wagged his finger in Jaden's face. "Well… I'll show you how we do it the Chazz Princeton way," he said as he grabbed the table and threw it across the hallway. Or he would have if it wasn't bolted to the ground. Instead, he lightly pressed a button on the side of the table and it went into the ground.
"Huh, well now that the evil and the undesirable table is gone… I'll walk into your very obvious trap that can easily get us both expelled!" Jaden yelled loudly.
"Wait, what?" Chazz said, legitimately confused.
Alexis face-faulted. "Ante duels are illegal and against the rules here at Duel Academy. Anyone caught doing it can face very severe and unknown consequences," she said.
"SCREW THE RULES! I HAVE MONEY!" Chazz yelled in defiance. "And I'm 99.999% sure Seto Kaiba has more," Jaden replied with a smirk.
Chazz stared at Jaden, infuriated, but realized that he was right. "Fine. No ante rule! Duel!" he yelled, activating his duel disk.
Jaden in turn, activated his own. "Get your Kuriboh's on! … I mean get your balls on… screw it! Duel!"
[Jaden Yuki] vs [Chazz Princeton]
-4000 LP Duel, Jaden goes first.-
"Alright, I'm up first!" Jaden yelled, grabbing 6 cards out of his deck. He took a careful look at them and smirked. He had a hand of only Spell Cards. Normally, a person would frown at this as this meant he couldn't summon a monster, or protect himself next turn since he had no traps. However, if you look closely at his hand, you will realize that his hand is actually flawless. His cards were; Graceful Charity, Pot of Greed, Chorus of Winged Kuriboh's, Flute of Summoning Kuriboh, Monster Reborn and finally Card of Sanctity.
(Author's Note: Card of Sanctity will have it's anime effect since I hate its real effect.)
Jaden sent a confident smirk towards Chazz and placed his cards into his duel disk. "I activate Pot of Greed!" I now draw 2 cards!" he yelled, drawing two new cards. He looked at them and smiled. "These will come in handy later. What an oddly convenient draw!" he said out loud.
"Now I use my Graceful Charity to draw three more cards, but I need to discard two of them!" Jaden said. He drew and discarded. He got rid of two of the cards he drew but kept the last one, which was his Dark Magician Kuribon.
"Now here comes the fun part! I play Flute of Summoning Kuriboh, and chain it with Chorus of Winged Kuriboh's!" he yelled.
Chazz blankly stared at the two Spell Cards.
"This sweet card lets me summon my Winged Kuriboh from my Deck in Attack Position, and the other card lets me summon 2 more!" Jaden said, grabbing his trio of Winged Kuriboh's and placing them on his duel disk.
(Winged Kuriboh) Lv 1 x 3
Atk: 300 Def: 200
"Your move Chazz! I end!" Jaden yelled triumphantly.
Chazz growled and drew. "Alright, I'm taking down your flying hairy balls now! Lighting Vortex!" Chazz yelled, placing a Spell Card depicting some lighting… in a vortex, in his duel disk.
Jaden mocked gasped at this. "Oh noes, mah hairy ballz! Thou hath sent them to the great beyond! Oh, woes is me!"
Chazz blankly stared at Jaden before moving back to his turn. "By discarding one of my cards, I can use this to destroy all of your Kuriboh's!" Chazz yelled back at Jaden.
True to his word, lightning came and blew up the angelic Kuribohs. But Chazz was not done yet. "Now prepare yourself for the not censored version of Monster Reborn!" he said, placing another Spell Card in his duel disk, this one depicting a blue ankh.
Jaden performed another mock gasp. "Oh god! It's horrible! You can totally see it's ankh!" Jaden yelled in mock fear.
"It lets me perform the ultimate task of revival! I revive my Bowganian, the card I used to activate Lightning Vortex!" he said, as a one-eyed monster with a crossbow appeared on the field.
(Bowganian) Lv 3
Atk: 1300 Def: 1000
"But he won't be staying long!" Chazz said, flipping a card in his hand, revealing it towards his opponent.
"I Tribute Summon this! Legendary Fiend!" Chazz yelled triumphantly.
(Legendary Fiend) Lv 6
Atk: 1500 Def: 1800
"And I end my turn with a face-down since your Kuriboh would negate the damage anyways!" Chazz said, as his facedown materialized on the field.
Jaden looked at the field with concern. Then his face changed into a smile. Chazz looked at him in confusion. Just what was so funny?
"Chazz… why don't you look at my duel disk a bit closer?" Jaden taunted while drawing a card. The card he drew was just a Kuriboh which he smiled at.
Chazz rolled his eyes and looked, before noticing that there was still a card on Jaden's field. The Chorus of Winged Kuriboh's.
"Wait! It's a Continuous Spell Card?" Chazz wondered out loud.
Jaden smiled. "Yup, it is. And by destroying my Winged Kuriboh's, you activate its second effect! As long as those Kuriboh's are sleeping soundly like adorable angels in the Graveyard, I can draw a second card every other turn!
Chazz growled. "Grrr! Whatever, just do you turn!" he yelled.
"I am! First I draw another card!" Jaden yelled. He took a look at the card he drew and smiled. He had drawn a Parasite Kuriboh, something he could use later. But after a bit of thought, he stared at the cards he miraculously drew from his Pot of Greed. It was absolute luck he had managed to draw them, but now was the perfect time to use them.
Jaden looked back up and stared at Chazz. "Alright. First I should clear something up first!"
"Huh, what do you mean?" Chazz wondered.
Jaden smirked at Chazz's cluelessness. "My deck is not only made up of Kuriboh's!" Jaden yelled, catching the undivided attention of his peers.
"WHAT?" the two others yelled.
Jaden internally chuckled at his peer's reactions. "I'll prove it! With my Black Illusion Ritual card! One of two very convenient draws from Pot of Greed!" he yelled as a pot with the millennium eye appeared in the middle of the field.
Chazz paled when he saw the pot that is not of greed. "Wait… convenient draws? No… you can't have drawn that!" he cried out.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I summon, RELINQUISHED! Bwahahahahahah!" Jaden maniacally cackled.
(Relinquished) Lv 1 Ritual
Atk: 0 Def: 0
Alexis and Chazz both gasped as a super cute Kuriboh from Jaden's hand jumped into the pot and a less super cute Relinquished came out of the pot.
Jaden looked at Chazz's face with glee. "So I'm sure you're aware of the ability contained within Relinquished?"
Chazz's jaw just dropped to the ground. "Yeah! How did you get a card that rare?" he asked.
"I went to a store. I bought a silver plastic container containing trading cards and then opened the container." Jaden deadpanned. This caused Chazz to have an anime fall.
Back with Jaden, he was ready to activate the ability contained within Relinquished. "Alright Relinquished! Prepare to assimilate that really cool looking fiend!" he yelled triumphantly.
Relinquished didn't move at all. Chazz saw this and sighed in relief, right before his Legendary Fiend somersaulted into the hole inside of Relinquished, thereby assimilating himself and adding its attack and defence to Relinquished, causing Chazz to groan in despair.
Jaden's smile got even wider as he revealed a card in his hand. "Now I summon my trusted and most adorable partner, Dark Magician Kuribon!" he yelled.
(Dark Magician Kuribon) Lv 2
Atk: 300 Def: 200
Dark Magician Kuribon Atk 300 - 1500
For once, Chazz smirked. "House of Adhesive Tape! Activate! This Trap attracts a monster with 500 or less Defence Points and subjects them to eternal adhesive tape hell in the Graveyard!" Chazz dramatically said.
Jaden didn't back down, even as the House appeared and swallowed up Kuribon without resistance. "Well, jokes on you Chazz! My Dark Magician Kuribon has a Damsel In Distress fetish so HAH!" he said.
Chazz and Alexis paused for a second to process exactly what Jaden had said. Then they proceeded to stare at him in disbelief, before remembering this was the same kid who thought that jumping into the stadium from the stands, several meters high, was safe.
Jaden realized what he had said and quickly covered it. "Uh, I mean… MONSTER REBORN!"
Jaden grabbed a censored version of Monster Reborn and played it on his duel disk, reviving his Dark Magician Kuribon.
The first thing Chazz noticed was that the monster was blushing. Then, he realized that Dark Magician Kuribon has a permanent blush just like Dark Magician Girl. Huh…
Jaden then pointed towards Chazz. "Alright my monsters! Attack Chazz directly!" he yelled.
Relinquished fired a giant beam at Chazz, knocking him off his feet from the non-existent impact of the beam. Then, Dark Magician Kuriboh fired her giant Kuriboh fireball at Chazz, slamming him into the ground, despite being a hologram, causing him to cry out in pain.
Chazz LP 4000 - 1000
Jaden cheered. "Alright! This duel is almost over!" he yelled.
Chazz slowly got up and with anger in his palms, he drew. He looked at the card he drew and smirked. "I play Brain Control!" he yelled, catching Alexis's attention.
"Oh no! This definitely changes everything! Jaden barely has a hand, while Chazz has plenty of room for a comeback, especially with Brain Control. He's in trouble now! He has no cards on the field, and no way to… wait a minute…" Alexis thought to herself.
Back in the real world, Chazz was explaining how his card worked. "Anyways, my ultimate card of destruction takes 800 of my well-earned Life Points and…"
"Let me guess… lets you control them." Jaden said in a monotone voice.
Chazz was visibly disturbed. "What! Impossible, how did you know the effect of this card?"
"Well, I'm in Obelisk Blue… and it's literally called Brain Control." Jaden replied.
"Oh yeah, it is… Brain Control! Take that pesky Relinquished of his!" Chazz yelled.
A brain with random ass green hands came out of nowhere and snatched Relinquished and Legendary Fiend, bringing them onto Chazz's side of the field.
Chazz LP 1000 - 200
Jaden took the opportunity. "I discard Parasite Kuriboh! Not only does this give Dark Magician Kuribon more attack points, but it replaces all non-Union Equip Monsters with Parasite Kuriboh Tokens! So no counter-attacking for you!" Jaden confidently yelled.
Dark Magician Kuribon
Atk 1500 - 1800
Relinquished
Atk 1500 - 300
Def 1800 - 200
Chazz grinned. "Who said anything about attacking? I know Relinquished is a troublesome monster so I'm getting rid of it!" Chazz boasted. "I Tribute Summon-"
"You lose," Jaden said the moment Relinquished was tributed.
"What?" Chazz said, before noticing his Life Points had indeed hit 0.
Chazz LP 200 - 0
Winner: Jaden Yuki
Jaden laughed. "Chazz, when you get rid of a monster who has a Parasite Kuriboh attached to it, you lose 500 Life Points," he said in a relieved tone.
Chazz couldn't believe it. He lost! What could he do now to get back at Jaden?
…
Of course! The Chazz Princeton Way!
Chazz pointed towards Jaden. "Grrr! Screw this duel! Let's handle this the Chazz Princeton Way, and what I mean by that, I mean the beat the everloving shit out of you way!" he yelled.
Alexis was about to intervene until her highly trained ears heard something from down the hall. Upon recognizing what it was, she blurted it out to the boys who were about to brawl.
"Uh guys, the party is over… so we're about to be in the way of a bunch of teenagers who were partying… hard." she said with a slight tone of fear.
The boys got the message. Run. Didn't mean Chazz liked it though. "Damn it! For some reason, this stops me from just walking over to you and beating the absolute shit out of you. But someday, you will be subjected to the Chazz Princeton way!"
Jaden rolled his eyes and sighed. "Let's just run now and deal with our newfound rivalry later!"
"… Agreed" Chazz reluctantly replied as the trio ran towards their rooms, comically carrying tons of wood and nails to barricade Jaden's door since Jasmine and Mindy would definitely be coming by.
And so, the first day of Duel Academy had ended.
(To be continued in Chapter 3: Sitting On Syrus's Face)
Parasite Kuriboh (Earth) Lv 1
ATK: 300 DEF: 200
Insect/Effect
You can discard this card; you can replace all Non-Union monsters that are being treated as Equip cards with a Parasite Kuriboh Token (Lv 1/Insect Atk: 300 Def: 200) (this is a Quick Effect). Any monster equipped with a Parasite Kuriboh Token cannot deal Battle Damage and deals 500 damage to its owner's LP when removed from the field.
Chorus of Winged Kuriboh's (Spell)
(Continuous Spell)
If you have 1 "Winged Kuriboh" on the field, you can special summon all other copies of "Winged Kuriboh" from your deck and/or hand onto the field. If all three Winged Kuriboh's are in the GY, you may draw one extra card during your Draw Phase every other turn.
Jaden Yuki's Current Deck: Kuriboh, Relinquished Deck
Chazz Princeton Deck: Marik Deck
Here's an OC card that will be used Next Chapter:
Masochist Kuriboh (Light) Lv 1
ATK: 300 DEF: 200
Fairy/Effect
You can discard this card; Gain 500 LP. This monster cannot be destroyed by battle. If you take LP damage from a battle involving this monster, gain 1000 LP.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! - Miracle