I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO WRITE A NEW CHAPTER. HAVE 2 KIDS UNDER 2 1/2YRS OLD HAS MADE IT HARDER TO FIND THE TIME TO WRITE. THAT AND GOING BACK TO WORK.
~KATNISS~
Katniss downstairs, in Peeta's kitchen, doing her best to make him some lunch. She had never been the best cook, her mom or sister usually were in charge of that. No she was better at hunting, and cleaning the game. She was a lot like her father that way.
She had begged her mom to let her stay at his place, to take care of him. She refused to leave him alone. She was worried about him, worried that he would do it again. He tried reassuring her that he wouldn't, but she didn't know if she could believe him, he had promised that before, and he almost died the last time. She felt the need, deep within her to take care of him.
The way he had been talking yesterday scared her. It hurt her knowing that he thought that his life wasn't worth living. Deep down she felt responsible for what happened with him. She knew his mom was never nice to him, but she had pushed him away when he needed a friend. She needed him, more then she even realized. She was determined to nurse him back to health, and make sure he knew he was worth it. She wanted to prove to him, that she wasn't the girl that had let him down all those times. That she was changing, because of him. She wanted to be a better person because of him.
Last night after she kissed him, they didn't talk about it. She just laid down beside him, and they both had fallen asleep. She didn't know what it meant, but she felt that spark she had felt back in the cave. She didn't want to lead Peeta on, when she didn't know what it meant. She never was good with feelings, she had always avoided them since she vowed never to marry anyone. And the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Peeta more then she already had.
She placed the bowl of soup and a piece of bread that she had found in his bread box, and place it on the tray, along with a cup of tea, with no sugar. Just like he liked it. She picked up the tray, and slowly walked upstairs towards his room.
"I've made lunch," she said as she strolled into his room. She placed it in front of him. "Need anything else?" she asked.
"Yes," he said, looking directly at her. "We need to talk about that kiss last night." Katniss went to open her mouth, but was interrupted, "Katniss, please."
She knew it was probably best to get everything out in the open, "Okay," she said sitting in the chair right beside his bed. She knew it was probably not wise to sit beside him, if they wanted to have a serious talk. They needed to feel safe to speak freely. She was fighting every urge just to run like she always had.
"I need to know….why you kissed me."
Katniss couldn't bare to look him in the eye. She was unsure how he would react to her answer, "I don't know."
"How can you not know?" he said, she could hear the confusion in his voice.
She took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain what she meant. "When I thought I lost you, it really hit me how much you mean to me. Peeta, I couldn't bare if you were gone. I don't know what it is, but you mean the world to me. But the only feelings I've ever been sure of, is what I feel for Prim. And maybe that's because I've never let myself feel anything else. Since my father died, and I saw what it did to my mom, I didn't want to chance that happening to me so I vowed to never get married, never to feel like that for anyone."
"Katniss, nothing is ever a guarantee, but you shouldn't let the thought of losing someone get in the way of a chance there could be happiness in this terrible world," he smiled at her, putting his hand on top of hers.
"That kiss wasn't something I felt since the cave."
"What do—" before he could finish, his door opened. "Hi Peeta, I just came by to change your bandage, and clean it," Prim said, as she walked towards the two of them. Not realizing that she was interrupting an important conversation.
Katniss took this time to escape, "I'll leave you to take care of him, I'm going to go clean up the kitchen." She left the room without look back at Peeta. She wasn't use to letting anyone in on what she was feeling, and it became too overwhelming for her. She was thankful Prim came when she did. She wasn't sure she could answer what Peeta was about to ask when she didn't even know how to explain it, or what it all meant.
~PEETA~
Peeta sat on his bed staring out the window after Prim left. He had wished that she hadn't come over yet, that she hadn't interrupted them. Ot had given Katniss the option to run again. He wanted so badly to trust Katniss, but his conscience told him not to. Since the Hunger Games every time he believed Katniss, he got let down. So how could he be sure that this time was any different. How did he know whether or not she was playing with his heart again, to make sure that Gale was safe.
It felt so nice when she told him she needed him. He had never felt like anyone had ever needed him before. At home he never felt like he wanted. His mother always made sure to let him know that he was suppose to be the girl that she had always wanted. Bran was 5yrs older then him, they never had much in common, so they never spent too much time together, and Rye spent most of his free time chasing girls, and taking them to the Slag Heap. Only time they had spent time together was when they were both in wrestling. His dad had always mentored him in baking, and when he was younger they were close, but as he grew older his father spent more time trying to make sure his mom was happy so she didn't take it out on the his sons, especially him.
He couldn't take it any longer, he needed to talk to Katniss. He didn't care that he was suppose to be on bedrest, he couldn't sit here in bed any longer. It only made his mind run wild. And made the dark begin to seep into his brain.
He slowly walked downstairs, and looked around to find that he was alone. His heart dropped. She had ran as per usual. He should have known that this was going to happen. She always disappointed him. He picked up the water glass, with every intention of throwing it, when he was startled, when his back door opened. Katniss walked through the door with freshly skinned squirrel in her hand. She looked just as surprised to see him, "Peeta, you're suppose to be resting."
"I was tired of sitting up there. I was going stir crazy, just lying there. Also I wanted to finish that conversation we started."
"Peeta, you should be resting," she said, trying to urge him to go back upstairs.
Peeta wasn't budging. They had to lay it all down now in hopes to move forward. "Kat, I can't, not when my mind keeps wandering. I need to know."
"Okay," she said, placing the meat down on the cutting board, before washing her hands.
"So please tell me what you had begun to say," he said as he moved closer to her.
"Peeta, I've been having these confusing feelings since the cave. At one point while we were in the cave I felt a burning within me when we kissed. As you know I have never wanted to be in love. I didn't like what it did to my mom once my father died. So I made sure to stay away, to run from it. I guarded myself once we returned home, to ensure that didn't happen. And then we grew closer on the train. It freaked me out, especially after Snow said we weren't successful convincing him. When I seen you lying on the ground bleeding, I thought I was losing you then.I 'm scared of letting myself fall for you, only to lose you. I wouldn't survive it."
"I know letting someone in is scary, but it also can be something amazing," growing closer to her. "Don't let the fear keep you from being happy."
"Okay," she said softly, looking at her hands.
"So does that mean you will give it a try?"
"Yes. But I can't promise you anything."
Brushing her hair away from her eyes, "Okay, that's all I ask for," he said, before he leaned in to kiss her.
Katniss broke away, "Now I think you should get back up to bed. You need your rest."
"Yes Dr. Everdeen," he joked as he walked towards the stairs.
~KATNISS~
"How's our patient?" Prim asked, as she walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the island.
Katniss looked over her shoulder slightly, "Not bad. He's sleeping right now," she said as she continued to wash the dishes. "He seems to be getting better. Regaining his strength." She happy that he was healing quickly. She knew he would want to get back to his baking for the seam. And Painting when he had bad nightmares.
"I'm glad. And it's nice that you have been here for him. I know it means a lot to him," she smiled. She knew that her sister and him had gotten close since they had come home from the games. At the time she had been mad about it, and it was wrong of her to be. She is happy that he had at least one person there for him when he got home, so he hadn't been fully alone.
"Well I couldn't stand the thought of something happening to him again." When she had found him on the ground, at first she thought she was seeing things like she had in the woods many times, that it was just a nightmare. When she realized it was real, it felt like her worst fear was coming true.
"You really like him, don't you?" she smiled.
Katniss tried not to blush, "I care deeply for him. And we decided to see if there is something more with us."
Prim walked over to her sister, putting her arm around her, "I'm so happy for you. I think you guys are great for one another."
"I'm so scared Prim. I'm scared of losing him, of turning into mom."
"Katniss, that's not going to happen. You're so much stronger then mom ever was. Look at the way you have taken care of us these past 6yrs. You out of anyone deserve to be happy, deserve to find love," tears fell from her eyes. Prim always knew what to say to her. And as scary as it was, she was going to open her heart up to the boy with the bread, her dandelion.
"I love your Prim," Katniss said as she embraced her sister.