After Lupin left the room, there was an awkward silence.
This should have been the time when each member of the gang escaped each to his particular idiom.
Jigen should have melted into the shadows after shooting out the lights; Goemon would have deftly cut a door from a solid wall, and Fujiko...Well, she couldn't seduce Zenigata, so she would have ridden off on her motorcycle. Unless it wasn't really Zenigata but an evil bad guy who was in cahoots with Fujiko.
But it was Zenigata.
Who had stopped Lupin's songfic.
So, the gang felt they owed him a bit more courtesy this time around.
Zenigata wanted to speak to Lupin, and was very uncomfortable being the center of the three's attention.
He knew everything possible and available about them. He had followed them for years. He had partnered up with them on many occasions, and they were possibly the only friends he had.
But he could not hold a polite conversation with them.
Goemon coughed in a dignified manner.
"Sooo..." Jigen started. "How's Interpol treating you?"
"Could be worse."
A very long pause.
In this silence, Goemon noted that Zenigata needed new shoes, Jigen's hat was a fedora (he remembered the word!), and that he really needed to pick up some more tofu.
Fujiko wondered if anyone would notice if she escaped out the bathroom window, and Jigen was planning on dragging Lupin back into the room and yelling, "He's your groupie! You take care of him!"
Zenigata sneezed.
"Do you have any family...?" Fujiko asked hesitantly.
"I don't really know anymore..."
Lupin barged back into the room.
"Stop with the silence already! It's like watching my high school years all over again!"
"I didn't know you attended high school!" came the shocked murmur.
No one knew who said it, but it was something to talk about. They all decided to chatter about Lupin in high school instead of letting the silence continue.
"I bet you were the delinquent!" Zenigata accused him of this, naturally.
"I bet you were starting your streak of hitting of girls, weren't you? How many innocents did you fleece before me?" Fujiko seemed oddly jealous.
Goemon and Jigen said nothing. They had decided to act out Lupin in high school to each other. By watching the gestures, it seems Lupin was a spastic monkey with BO. After that, it was hard to tell anything because they stopped breathing from all the laughing they were doing.
"Pay attention, people!" Lupin sighed. "I didn't go to high school. I've been a thief all my life. But you guys were acting like my first gang. I would say, 'Here's what we're going to do!' and I would explain it all, and then the silence. It was like we weren't speaking the same language! The idiots would stare at me and I couldn't get anything done!" He banged his fist against the wall in past anger. "So much wasted time...They all looked like dead fish. So don't you guys ever do that. Especially when it's just him."
"Hey!" Zenigata yelled.
"Goemon, do you think..." Jigen said. "That the reason they couldn't understand Lupin was that his voice hadn't broke yet...and it was even squeakier?!"
As they laughed, Lupin wondered why he hadn't stayed a single thief.
No one to split the loot with, and no drama to deal with at the hideout.
Or teasing.
"Zenigata!"
The name brought everyone back to attention.
"What are you doing here? I have things to plan and places to visit!"
Zenigata was riled into action. He whipped out a bundle of papers, and pointed to them with one hand while sweeping across the room.
"I'm here for my revenge, Lupin! After all these years, I finally have my perfect revenge! Yes, revenge for fanfics and for the never-ending chase!"
"But, Pops, I don't have anything to do with those fanfics-"
"You exist! And because of that: Fanfics! And because of that: Fanfics about me! Evil fanfics! Yaoi fanfics!"
"Aww, Pops, don't tell me that you find me unattractive?"
Lupin waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Don't do that!"
"What?"
"That wiggle eyebrow thing! It's creepy!"
Zenigata took a deep breath and calmed himself down.
"Thanks to the forums, I've discovered what can make my fanfic complete! Behold, I will chant to magic words and you will be trapped inside my fanfic!"
Zenigata started mumbling to himself as papers flew across the room.
"This is my first fanfic, please be kind. No flames, please. One shot-updated-gift fic.
Yaoi, yum! Strong shipping. Warning: Mature readers."
"Someone stop him!"
But it was too late. Zenigata shouted the last words of the incantation:
"Please Read and Review!"
The gang disappeared, and the papers fluttered to the floor.