Would you believe that I wrote fifty pages of fantasy over the weekend… and completely forgot about this until about three hours ago? I do hope it's still good. Fair warning: this is pretty much fluff with minor angst. The high-stakes will they won't they plot is being put on hold so we can fangirl over their relationships. Basically, this is the chapter where ships are sailed. I do hope you enjoy, and I've done all the relationships justice.

Many thanks to two of my friends for singing this song as much as they can to prove they can sing. Also, see if you can spot the random car safety reminders I slipped in throughout the chapter! I don't even know why!

Note: The start of this chapter takes place about a week after the last chapter.

To Guest: Yes indeed, and thank you so much! To Maggie (Guest): As always, thank you so so much for your review and kind words!

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Rise or Spring Awakening in any way, apart from caring too much to be healthy, and am not making any profit off of this (apart from any love you decide to show!)

Disclaimer 2: "Therapy" is from the musical Tick, Tick... Boom! and the lyrics are from Jonathan Larson. I do use the lyrics to "Therapy" in this song. I do not own the lyrics to "Therapy." It's not mine. Just getting that out of the way. (And I recommend listening to it, because I probably didn't do a lot of it justice in writing lmao.)

So, thank you for all sticking with me and this huge ass AN, and please enjoy!

Episode 6: Therapy

Maashous has to literally bite his tongue to keep from cursing his mother. He considers himself a generally nice, reasonable person (Kaitlin uses the term "cinnamon roll"), but this is where he's about to draw the line. It's been at least two weeks since his mom promised to get rid of the drugs, and there has been no change. He's watching her now- on the couch with one of her druggie friends. She'll be high soon enough anyways- she won't notice if he leaves for a few hours, right?
He texts Kaitlin to make sure she's home. She doesn't respond until he's already driving, and he isn't about to look at his phone while he's driving. High or not, his mom would kill him. Luckily, when he pulls into the Mazzucchelli's driveway, she responded the affirmative. He grins and runs into the house- the Mazzu's made it clear he was welcome any time. Kaitlin is at the piano, he can hear her playing as he takes his shoes off and leaves them by the door.

"What are you playing?" he asks as he approaches. She stops playing, then turns and grins at him, moving over so there's more room on the bench.

"The song 'Therapy,'" she replies, showing him the sheet music. He smiles. Tick, Tick… Boom! is one of his favorites. "Have you heard it?"

"Of course I've heard it," he replies, staring at the piano. He couldn't play to save his life. He's pretty crap at singing, too, but he knows the words by heart.

Kaitlin glances at him mischievously. "Are you saying we can't talk?" she asks, her hands resting on the keys. Maashous grins.

"Are you saying we're not talking?" he replies.

"What are you saying?" she asks.

"What are you saying?" he copies. Then he clears his throat and tries singing, and Kaitlin starts playing at the same time. "I feel bad that you feel bad, about me feeling bad, about you feeling bad, about what I said, about what you said, about me not being able to share a feeling." He holds the last note for a ridiculously long amount of time, just as they do in the original cast recording.

"If I had thought that what you thought, was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts, then my reaction to your reaction, to my reaction, would have been more revealing." Her voice sounds perfect- Stanton has to get the drama department back, just so Kaitlin Mazzucchelli can perform, Maashous thinks.

Gordy just… drives. And he drives. And he drives. Sure, he kinda wants to get lost, just driving around Stanton in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. He got his car keys back when his parents saw the rehab program was working wonderfully, and now that he's got a more solid group of friends in the theater department that his parents trust, they trust him a lot more.

And he keeps driving, because at this point he's just killing time.

He pulls up in front of the local sub shop. Gwen is waiting outside, and she waves at him as he pulls to a stop. She totes a bag full of sandwiches and chips into the passenger seat behind her and hands him a drink.

"Alright," she says. "Where are we going?"

The car door slams shut and she puts her seatbelt on before Gordy pulls away.

"I was thinking we could head to the beach," he comments.

She glances at him sharply, then relaxes. "Alright," she agrees.

He grins and they spend the rest of the drive in silence. When they arrive at the beach, there aren't many people around, even though it's the middle of a wonderful Saturday afternoon. Gordy pulls a picnic blanket out of his trunk to set up on the beach, and they eat their food in silence for a while, watching the waves lap at the sand. Eventually, they start talking about normal teenager things- laughing and throwing food at each other, gossiping about recent developments at school and complaining about teenagers. Any time the talk turns to the drama department, they backtrack as quickly as possible. Neither of them really wants to think about that. Even though it's been a week and a few days since the PTA meeting, and they've all been gathering as much support as possible, there isn't really a surefire way to prove that the community values the theater program.

It isn't all tossing chip crumbs and avoiding certain conversations, however, because eventually Gwen makes a comment about their relationship and they both go quiet.

"So, Ben Sarajian asked me to go see a movie with him," Gwen says, gesturing with half of a sandwich. Gordy freezes, his own sub halfway to his mouth. He lowers it and sets it down on his plastic plate, swallowing harshly.

"What'd you say?" he asks.

"I turned him down," Gwen says, sounding a bit unsure. "Because of this unspoken thing we kinda have going on, I didn't know-"

"You shouldn't hold yourself back because of me." And my problems, he wants to add, but he leaves that part off. "But… what unspoken thing?"

"Well, if I said anything, it wouldn't be an unspoken thing anymore, would it?" she says, raising an eyebrow, and the two burst into laughter.

"A catch-22," he says, and the two laugh again. "But, really, now that you bring it up… we should talk about this. About us."

"About us?" she asks, nodding. "Yeah. I've thought about it."

"You have?" he asks, more than a bit taken aback. She nods. "I have, too."

She takes a deep breath. "You go first," she blurts out eventually.

"No, no, you first," he says, gesturing for her to go. Their food sits in front of them, forgotten.

She takes another deep breath, then glances around to make sure the few people still on the beach aren't eavesdropping on them. "I think we should try this," she tells him, as soon as she can muster up the courage to speak.

He has to bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying, "Really?" Instead, his eyes just widen a bit, because "trying this" could mean almost anything.

"And by trying this, I mean trying us," Gwen clarifies. "Like, us dating."

Gordy pauses for a moment, thinking about how his coach would probably kill him, how his parents would probably approve, and how he would really, really like it.

"Okay," he says, nodding. "I mean, that's pretty much what I was gonna say, too, so…" He trails off, glancing around. She does the same, as if they hadn't just confessed their feelings.

"Do we kiss now?" she asks him suddenly, turning to him. "I feel like this is the part where we kiss."

"Seems like a safe bet," Gordy says, nodding along, and they both laugh before Gwen leans in first.

"I was afraid that you'd be afraid, if I told you I was afraid of intimacy," Maashous sings. "If you don't have a problem with my problem, maybe the problem is simply codependency!"

"Yes I know that you now know, that I didn't know that you didn't know, that when I said 'no,' I meant 'yes I know,' and that now I know that you knew, that you knew you adored me!" Kaitlin replies, her playing getting faster as she heaves for breath after singing the whole part in one go. Maashous grins before continuing, and she has to hold back a laugh as he sings.

Michael is just relaxing at home when he gets a call on his cell phone. He glances down quickly, hoping he can just ignore it- but no, it's Sasha, and he can't ignore her.

"Hello?" he asks carefully, picking up the phone. He's not quite sure what she's going to say, but she sounds a bit… out of breath, almost.

"I decided what to do," she says softly. "About the baby."

"Oh?" he asks, a bit concerned. This is the deciding factor. "And the conclusion you came to…" He waits for her to finish the sentence.

"I'm, um…" she starts, then stops. "I'm gonna try and get an abortion." She's speaking in hardly more than a whisper and he can barely hear her, but he hears the last word and freezes.

"You're sure?" he asks. "I'm not pressuring you into anything?"

"No," Sasha replies. "I talked to Ms. Wolfe. She agrees with you. I haven't told my father yet. I… thank you, Michael."

"Yeah," he says quietly. "I mean… yeah. Okay. Have you planned it out yet?"
"Ms. Wolfe is going to help," she says. "But not yet… I just came to the official decision today. Really, thank you, Michael, because now I see that I did kinda need to do this. I…" She sounds like she's about to start crying and Michael does not do well around crying people over the phone, so he cuts her off quickly.

"I'm proud of you for coming to a decision like that," he says, trying to hold it together. "And… I'll see you tomorrow? We can go somewhere for food, or something?"

"To celebrate?" she asks, with a slight hiccup on the end. Michael frowns. This doesn't really seem like something you would celebrate.

"No," he says decidedly. "Like… a date."

"Oh," she says softly. "Yeah. I'd like that."

He smiles. "Great," he says.

"I'll pick you up," she replies, and he can almost see her smiling based on the tone of her voice. "But other than that… what do you think? About this?"

"I think it's good," he says, nodding even though she can't see him. "What do you think?"

"I think it's good," she repeats, and he smiles again.

"But maybe-" he starts, then stops, trying to figure out how to properly word the thoughts in his mind. "I don't want to damage our friendship again," he says eventually.

"I don't either." Sasha sounds a bit disappointed, so Michael hastens to continue.

"But I think we should still keep this 'thing' a 'thing,'" he says. "Just maybe a secret thing."

"A secret thing," she echoes, as if trying the term out. "Yeah. That's good."

"That's good?" he questions. He wasn't even sure when he said it himself, even though the words came out of his mouth.

"That's good," Sasha confirms. "We're good."

"We're good," he repeats, quietly, to himself.

"I was wrong to-" Maashous starts, their singing faster and faster.

"Say you were wrong to-" Kaitlin continues, her fingers rushing to keep up, slipping up now and then.

"Say I was wrong about-"

"You being wrong!"

"When you meant to say that-"

"The ring was the wrong thing to bring-"
"If I meant what I said when I said rings bore me!"

The two glance at each and grin as they both sing the next line. "I'm not mad that you got mad that I got mad, when you said I should go drop dead!" They hold out the last word for an unnaturally long amount of time, trying to see who can hold it the longest. Kaitlin wins as Maashous pauses, heaving for breath, before he continues with the next line.

"If I were you when I'd done what I'd done, and I'd do what you did when I gave you the ring, having said what I said!"

They both pause for a moment, heaving for breath, preparing for the next part.

Lilette is finally done with her shift. The last few weeks have been pure hell at work- since the first time her manager started standing a little too close to her, he did it more and more and more, hinting that if she told something or tried to stop him like her mother did, she'd be out of a job faster than she could hit him. And for God's sake, she needs that job.

But today- today she thinks she's going to snap. Because she's hanging up her apron and she's just finished clocking out, considering it's four o'clock and her shift is finally done, and her manager is standing right there.

"Glad to see you're being a good girl and behaving," he grunts, quiet enough that no one else can hear them- not that there's anyone else around. The other waitresses are all outside, busy taking orders, and the cooks can't hear or see them from here.

She purses her lips tightly and offers a forced smile, barely there.

"Come now," he says quietly. "Show me those pretty teeth when you smile."

She grits her teeth together and smiles. She needs the job, she needs the job, she needs the job. She repeats those four words in her head over, and over, and over again, as she's been doing every time she comes in.

"That's better," her manager says. She turns to walk away- she's not going to let him get to her, she needs the job. "You'll make a good wife one day, obedient girl like you." She needs the job, she needs the job- screw the job.

"Do you get off on this?" she snarls, turning to face him. "You enjoy mocking me and insulting me like you mocked and assaulted my mother?"
He looks startled that she would dare talk back to him, but she doesn't care.

"I am sick and tired of you treating me like trash because I'm a woman. I'm not going to take it anymore," she says, backing up toward the door, ready to run. "It's done. I quit. If the rest of your workers have half a brain, they'd quit too!" She's getting louder now, hoping her coworkers hear her, hoping the customers hear her. "You're a disgusting human being for verbally assaulting a minor like this, you're a disgusting human being for sexually assaulting my mother like you did, and I am done!"

She relishes the look on his face for merely a moment, then turns and slams the door open, running before the look can turn deadly. She all but sprints a block away- Simon was going to drive her home, but as she checks her phone, he sent her a text saying he couldn't make it and he's sorry. She doesn't care, because she running down the block and she's going straight to Robbie's house.

It takes her a while to get there, and she has the entire time to stew and fume over how horrible her manager is. Only a block from Robbie's house she realizes how close to tears she is about the fact that her manager will face absolutely no repercussions, because there's no proof, and she can't do anything about it. She knows it's not her fault, but if she tells someone, they won't believe her, because of this stupid, screwed-up society-

And then she's pounding on Robbie's front door.

It flies open after a moment. His parents' cars aren't in the driveway, but his is, so she knows it's going to be him when the door swings open. He looks down at her in surprise- clearly, he wasn't expecting to see her today, and definitely not in the state she's in.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly, concerned. "What's-"

The words are spilling out of her mouth before she can stop herself. "I said I didn't need you," she says, watching the look on his face, trying not to cry, "and… I was wrong." She glances around, waiting for him to say something.

Robbie reaches an arm out carefully, pulling her into a hug. She wraps her arms around his back and presses her face against he chest, finally letting herself cry. He whispers sweet nothings into her hair, telling her it's going to be okay, as he closes the door softly behind them.

"You good?" he asks, guiding her to the living room. They sit on the couch, pressed together, and she tells him everything- about her manager, about how she quit, about how if she tells anyone no one will believe her.

"Hey," he says, catching her hands as they gesture wildly in front of her. "I believe you." She turns to look at him questioningly. "Of course I believe you." She opens her mouth to talk, but he cuts her off. "It's gonna be okay, Lilette. I promise."

She nods and sinks into his embrace again as he wraps an arm around her.

Yeah, she thinks. It's gonna be okay.

Maashous and Kaitlin look at each other, taking a deep breath. This is the part where they sing together, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, voices just kind of overlapping. It's his favorite part of the song, but considering he's never sung it in a duet before, he's not quiet sure how absolutely horrible they're going to be.

"I feel bad, that you feel bad, about me feeling bad, about you feeling bad, about what I said, about what you said, about me not being able to share a feeling!" Maashous sings.

"I feel badly about you, feeling badly about me, feeling badly about you!" Kaitlin belts out at the same time. "If I thought that what you thought, was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts, then my reaction to your reaction to my reaction, would have been more revealing!"

"I thought you're gonna react shallowly, when I reacted to you!" Maashous sings this at the same time as the second part.

"I'm not mad, that you got mad, that I got mad, when you said I should go drop dead!" Kaitlin sings, Maashous jumping in on "I got mad," "You got mad," and "Go drop dead."

"If I were you when I'd done what I'd done-" Maashous starts.

Kaitlin punctuates this with a very high, "If I were you!"

"And I'd do what I did when I gave you the ring-"

"But I'm not you!"
"Having said what I said!"

"Said what I said!" Kaitlin joins, and they both hold out "said what I said," once again trying to see who will crack first. They stop in unison, breathing heavily, Kaitlin's playing stopped for a moment as they laugh and catch their breath.

Simon glances around. He was supposed to be picking up Lilette but apologized and said he couldn't, because then it seemed that he was supposed heading to church with his family, but… it doesn't look like that's going to be happening now, either.

All the weekends since the show, his father has had some excuse and hasn't been able to go to church with the family. Simon, Emma, and their mother have gone dutifully every Sunday morning without his father. Now, however, his father says that he's gotten sick of it and wants to go to the five o'clock mass on Saturday night with his family.

Only, Simon doesn't know if his father has disowned him and he just doesn't know it, because as Simon takes a few steps forward to exit the house, his father holds out an arm.

"No," his father says. Simon looks at him questioningly.

"What?" Simon asks. Never has his father prevented him from leaving the house, especially not to go to church.

"I said no," his father repeats. Simon takes a few steps backward as his father rounds on him- his mother and Emma are both already in the car, they can't help him now.

"What-" Simon starts, but his father cuts him off.

"You are unfit to go to church with us!" his father barks, and Simon knows, just knows that this has something to do with the show, something to do with Jeremy, something with the fact that over the past few weeks he's been hanging out with Jeremy more and more. Though he's made no mention of it to his parents, he definitely thinks he's gay, and that's probably what this is about.

"You're a stain on this family!" his father yells, and Simon flinches, taking another few steps backward.

A stain?

"A sin!" his father yells.

A sin?

"Do you hear me?"

Simon gulps, looking toward the ground. He manages to squeak out a quiet, "Yes, sir."

"I said, do you hear me? Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Simon finds the courage to look up at his father, who's panting and red in the face. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir, I hear you," Simon says, louder.

"Good," his father snarls, turning and marching out of the house.

Simon stands in that position for several minutes. His feet don't move, his heart doesn't stop thumping, until the sound of the car engine has long since faded.

He's not one for swearing. But the only thing running through his mind at this moment is that moment at the end of the song where they all stare out at the audience and yell "totally fucked!" Because that's pretty much how he's feeling right now.

The first thing he does is scramble for his cell phone in his pocket. As quickly as possible, he dials Jeremy's number. Jeremy picks up almost immediately.

"Hey," he asks. "You okay?" They never call each other, just in case Simon's parents overhear something.

Simon explains what happened as fast as he can, and from the other end of the phone he can hear Jeremy moving around.

"So… can you come over? Maybe?" Simon asks. He hears the jingling of cars keys and an engine starting.

"I'm already on my way," Jeremy says reassuringly.

They exchange quick goodbyes before Jeremy hangs up and Simon tosses his phone onto the couch. He paces in the living room until he hears the doorbell ring, and then he all but runs to the door to let Jeremy in.

"Hey," he says, grinning, then he realizes that Jeremy has never been to his house before. No one has really been to his house before, except Lilette. "Um, come on in, I guess." Jeremy grins and enters the house, closing the front door softly behind him.

"You doing okay?" Jeremy asks. Simon leads him to the living room.

"Yeah," he says uncertainly. "Yeah, I think I'm good now."

"Good," Jeremy says, smiling, his eyes betraying him. He doesn't quite believe Simon, but Simon doesn't really care. They sit on the couch, feet on the coffee table, and start browsing channels. They're not quite sure what you're supposed to do when you definitely have a "thing" but don't have a "thing" at the same time, and Simon can almost feel the awkwardness rising, so he does the one thing he can think of to do- he grabs his phone and starts blasting Spring Awakening. Jeremy grins.

"Perfect," he says, and Simon laughs.

That gets them going, and they do what they always seem to do when they hang out together: sit and talk. The music plays quietly in the background.

The moment that "The Word Of Your Body (Reprise)" comes on, they both freeze and go completely silent, memories rushing back to them.

Simon knows, in that moment, God is giving him a sign.

"I feel something for you," he blurts out, just as Hanschen and Ernst pause in the song to talk, rather than sing.

"You feel something?" Jeremy asks, startled.

"I feel a lot of things," Simon groans, covering his face with his hands. Jeremy laughs.

"But, really," he says quietly. "You're…"

"Yes," Simon says, the words spilling out. "I'm gay. Definitely gay. For you." Oh no. Is that what he's supposed to say? Did he just simultaneously come out to and admit his feeling for Jeremy? Did he really just do that?"

"Well, I'm assuming you already know how I feel on the matter," Jeremy mutters, glancing away, and Simon laughs a bit too loudly to be comfortable.

"Okay," Simon says. "So, we've clarified that I… definitely like you."

"Clarified," Jeremy says, nodding. Simon then notices how close they're sitting to each other. He also notices how blue Jeremy's eyes are. And that he has a little splotch of freckles on his nose when you look closely enough.

And then he doesn't quite know which of them leans in first, but suddenly Jeremy's mouth is on his, or maybe his mouth is on Jeremy's, but Simon is pretty sure that this right here is what Heaven feels like. If his father thinks he's a sin already, well, he's definitely going to now. But does sinning really feel this sweet?

"But now it's out in the open!" Maashous sings.

"Now it's off our chests!" Kaitlin finishes.

The two glances at each other- the rest of the song they sing together, note for note, Kaitlin's hands flying over the piano keys. "Now it's four AM and we have therapy tomorrow it's too late! to! Screw!" They pause, heaving for breath, and then she's hitting the keys at a rapid pace and they hold out the last line.

"So let's just get some rest!"

They finish together, the notes from the piano fading out. They breathe heavily for a few moments before dissolving into tears of laughter at how epic that was.

Behind them, Gail Mazzucchelli watches her daughter and the boy she wishes was her son finish the song she watched them start, and she beams.

Next time, on Rise Again: "What do you mean, you're packing?!" - "You said she was getting better! You lied to me?" - "So this is it? After everything, you're gonna abandon me to this now?" - "I will personally make sure she is cared for." - "So rehab… it's going well?" - "No no no, I wasn't supposed to mention that!" - "The hell is this? More funding? You've got to be kidding me!"