"There's no beer and you know for a fact that, that saying sucks so stop trying to push it." Star sighs as he climbs out of the turret of his T110E5.
"Yeah well you stink. Now tha' is something I know for a fact sucks coz I gotta be near you." Chav smirks as he drops to the hull of his tank.
Star sighs and jumps to the ground. "I'd rather stink then be a scrub like you."
Chav then drops off of his tank and to the ground. "I'm not just a scrub you fucking loser, I'm a god damn perver' and a fa'ass. Never forge' tha' unless you wan' me ta draw a dick on tha' picture of Curie you have." Chav threatens with a smile.
"Do that and I'll rip up your 'sexy' deathclaw calendar that you have hung up next to your ammo racks." Star threatens back.
"Eh, I can just buy another one. Anyway, we have a por'al ta enter so we can ge' our money." Chav says as he approaches a large beige tent.
Star shrugs his shoulders before following Chav to the tent.
"General?" Chav asks as he steps into the tent.
"Ah, you're finally here, good. We know nothing about the portal so that's why you're going in. Our scientists ran out of things to try, we did everything. The last thing we have to do is to try and send someone through to try and give us some insight as to what's on the otherside." The general explains.
"So you wan' us ta go through a por'al you know nothing abou' and risk everything jus' so you can know what's on the otherside?" Chav asks.
"Yes, that's the simple version of it." The general answers.
"Money's, money. You ready to head through Star?" Chav asks.
"Do we atleast get some supplies? Food? Water?" Star asks.
"If you wanna be a pussy then we can ge' some supplies." Chav groans.
"Yes, I would like to not starve wherever we're going." Star sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
"We can give you enough supplies to last 2 weeks in there." The general answers.
"Alrigh' ya go' us for as long as ya need us." Chav says with a smile.
Star looks back at his tank and mumbles something under his breath.
"Now that you boys are loaded up and ready to go we'll let you guys get on with it." The general says as he steps away from the 2 tank drivers and towards the viewing station.
"Let's ge' this shi' on the road!" Chav shouts excitedly.
Chav then turns 'Megalodon's' engine on and drives into the portal. Star smirks and quickly follows Chav into the portal.
On the other end of the portal sits a large orchard filled with apple trees.
"The fuck? Are we back on earth or something?" Chav asks Star over the radio.
"I have no idea, this place looks a bit like earth, just a bit more... Pastel." Star answers, confused about where they are.
"Wha'ever, let's jus' ge' to tha' farm and see if we can find something that'll tell us where we are." Chav says, the radio giving off a crackel as he speaks.
"Not a bad idea, I'll let you go first. You've got all that armor, might as well go first in case we need it." Star points out.
"Yeah, yeah. I ge' it, I take the shots while you play peekaboo with ya gun." Chav chuckles.
Megalodon slowly trundles towards the farm with Star following closely behind. As they approach the farm they see a bunch of colourful horses pulling carts around.
"Shi' dude, those horses are a bi' odd looking aren' they?" Chav asks.
"Yeah, I've never seen a red horse before." Star mumbles.
"Is i' legal to pain' horses?" Chav asks.
"Like I'm going to know the answer to that you idiot." Star groans.
"Nothing wrong with just asking." Chav laughs.
As they get closer and closer to the farm the horses start to freak out and run around the farm wildly.
"These horses are pre'y loose for being workin' horses." Chav points out.
"Yeah, I haven't really spent much time on a farm or anything but these horses look they don't even have a fence to keep them in." Star says as he points his turret towards the front of the farmhouse.
"That one has a lasso in i's mouth, tha' ain' normal." Chav says as a yellow horse runs at him with a lasso in it's mouth and a stetson hat on it's head.
"This place is getting weirder and weirder." Star mumbles.
"Should I open fire?" Chav asks.
"Give 'em a warning shot. The ground in front of you should be good enough." Star says.
Chav aims the gun into the ground 12 feet in front of him. He then fires the gun, the shell hits the ground and causes a large explosion, sending dirt flying. A 9ft deep dirt hole sits in front of 'Megalodon'. The hole spans from the centre of the blast to the edge of the front of 'Megalodon' and the same distance in the other direction.
The yellow horse ahead slips and slides on the ground as it tries to run away.
"At least it won't be in our way anymore." Chav chuckles.
"Shut up and continue driving, your slow ass tank is gonna make this take much longer then it needs to." Star sighs.
'Megalodon' crawls across the deep hole in the ground and towards the farm house. Star follows behind, the two tanks engines roaring as they cross the hole.
A few seconds later a bright flash blinds them and they come to a stop, in front of 'Megalodon' stands a white horse with a horn and a pair of wings, it's mane a mixture of colours drome a pale blue to a light green and even a pink. The horse looks angrily and 'Megalodon' and it's horn starts to glow.
"Dude, I know now for a fact tha' we are no' on earth anymore." Chav mumbles into the radio.
"Is that a magic horse?!" Star shouts.
The horses horn then shoots out a large yellow beam that hits the hull of 'Megalodon' only to bounce off and into the sky. The horse then looks at 'Megalodon' in surprise, it's eyes wide and it's mouth hanging open. Chav then opens the hatch on 'Megalodons' turret and laughs.
"You actually though' you could pen 'Megalodon'? Are you fucking crazy?!" Chav shouts, laughing at the horse in front of his tank.
The horse then looks up at Chav with a face of pure awe and surprise.
"You can talk?" The horse asks.
"Wai', wha'?" Chav's face turns to one of surpise.
"I don't know if that portal made us high or something but that horse just talked." Star mumbles.
"I hope ta god we're high." Chav gulps.