Fsog nightmare04

Christian's map

Escala May 15Th:4am

I sit in my castle in the clouds, watching the eerie lights move thru the fog. I know they are ships plying the Sound. Ferries and cargo, pleasure and smugglers. The disjointed, shrouded lights mystical moving in the fog. Bring fore memories of headless horseman, Dutchman and Little Orphant Annie (James Whitcomb Riley). Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you. Ef you. Don't. Watch. Out!

The handwritten letter in my hand, a list of things I must do to have any future, and hope of redemption and happiness. I marvel at my coed antagonist, my muse, my girl. I'm putting the horse before the cart. Looking down I see things months ago I would never have thought of doing, let alone be wanting to do.

1. get rid of submissive: if you expect a relationship with me, it I monogamous and mutual

2. get rid of whips, belts, canes and other pain instruments in your dungeon.: After three, I could never take any of these things, nor be with someone who needed them.

3. read a real book a month not related to business in anyway. I will send you a reading list of unacceptable books, you may be quizzed on what you read. Remember I am a lit major.

4. restart your BA, I know you have the ability to complete a degree, it doesn't have to be business, economic or political. Pick something that feeds your mind and heart. Music maybe?

5. Get a male friend not working for you. maybe someone from item number nine?

6. deepen the male friendship you have. Yes, you have male friends, like Taylor, Flintstones and even Claude.

7. write me your inner thoughts and turmoil's: so that I may help you, bear the burden with you: you are not alone.

8. daily tell yourself "I am loved, I am worthy of being loved and giving love. I am worthy of Anna" because you are and all ways will be in my mind, heart and soul

9. join a team sport. Enjoy it!

10. define your existence not in terms of money, possessions or power. But in family, relationships and yourself. Grow something, you personally.

11. get rid of the Mrs. Robinson! understand the damage she has done to you, your family and other victims. Yes, she surely has done this shit to other boys. Her kind always does.

12. learn to hug your family members, give your mother and sister flowers just because. Give your dad and brother your time, just because. Find ways to express your love and caring without using money.

13. learn to cook something. You need to learn, for one day if we complete our list you will want to make your children food.

14. learn to say thank you and please. Manners are still expected, even in this day and age.

15. know that when the list is thru, you and I will always be connected in holy rings.

I pray this list is not too hard to do, I expect a good faith try, I believe you can do everything on this list. It's not as long as yours Mr. Grey. Not as intimidating as your kinky list. The flash drive with your playlist is very revealing and soothing to my heart and soul.

We will not move forward until your list is done and you do mine. I still demand to graduate next year. But hope you can make Christmas special and next July: a very white month too celebrate every year the day you make us one.

Shocked virginal Coed of the Garden.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I started a few, not sure if I could do 1, 2, or 9 to 13. I so want 15. But fate forces me to move forward. I start to plan for the future of us. I learn to grow.

I restart playing Tennis, finding a guy from Seattle Prep, both of us outcast in High School. Now self-made rich men. We play double, getting pretty good. We even win the Bellevue Country Club tennis doubles trophy. Not bad for a geek and loner.

I spend more time with family, learn to relax and accept their love and concerns. Mia has a meltdown when I take back her black Amex card. I spend more time with her and less buying her affections.

I restart my degree quest, switching to Music. I find myself challenged, stressed and enjoying the online classes and work. I realize that my time in Harvard was wasted because I wasn't learning anything new or challenged. Now I enjoy learning and discovering new things.

Cooking is going pretty bad. Gail has taken to getting me cheap frying pans, so as not to ruin her good ones. I after two months can grill cheese and make bacon. Maybe in a year I can even do it without them turning black. I daydream sometimes about making a grilled ham and cheese that is edible.

As summer fades and fall color changes the landscape. I begin to plan my escape from Elaina and the World I was trapped in. The Lodge is almost ready for After New Year's. The Anna's House is nearly complete. I talked her into transferring up to Seattle from Vancouver to finish her degree.

We have stolen moments near each other, even managed three dates to the movies. I remember kissing her in the alley behind Pikes Market, stealing time during her and Kate's shopping trip there. Talking on the phone, writing deep letters. Getting Miss Smart Ass Lit Major's book quiz's or corrected spelling and grammar letters I sent her. AHHHH!

I wish I could sneak down for Halloween, but she's doing her annual Tacoma Children's hospital Costume making party and later in the week the in-hospital Trick or Treat & semi-scary haunted hospital. The face book photos on her and Kate's pages are great. My girl has a big heart.

I just have to survive this weekend's Gala. Elaina is arrested Monday. I meet Anastasia in New York for the New Year's ball drop. She even worked out a way to meet and start our public relationship. She's going to fall at 1000 5th Avenue and East 82nd Street, Manhattan. In Gallery 760 of the American Wing under the Isola Bella in Lago Maggiore by Sanford Robinson Gifford at exactly 1300 on December 28. We would retire to The American Wing Café, enjoy a snack and coffee, then wander the MET till closing at 5:30. Then dinner, show. Leaving her at her room in the Hotel across the street from mine. Starting our public romance. I already have reservations (clue) for her at the Hotel and sent the plane ticket. I smile at the future. The Cliff I'm leaping off! But for her and a chance of happiness with her. I gladly leap.