FSOG nightmare05

Anna's homework:

From the Suede bag he gave me. is a cell phone, addresses with a P.o. box key, and two letters. Seat on my bed, I worry at what I must do. Am I ready for him, us? Holding the two letters in my hand. One is labeled #1 open first beautiful, the second just 2. I open #1 and hope for the best. I read his plea.

Dear Anna.

Pursuant to are discussion at Skibowl; I would like to move towards, into a relationship with you. I understand that this will entail a radical change of my life. I am ready and willing to make those changes we discussed. If you are willing to make your changes, please sent me a letter by post (to the post office box listed)

If the answer is no, simply destroy the cell phone and leave the post office box key in the box.

I hope you will consent towards a mutual merger of our lives. If so open letter two.

Ski bum.

Xxxxxxxx

I stare at the envelope marked simply 2. Can I? do I want this? The Grey eyes haunt me these last weeks since are meeting. I have reexamined my life and goals. Can I move forward and do I want to? Could I dare to have a happy life after my past.

I open the letter, a flash drive labeled music, a company credit card in my name and a list of homework for us to be together. I smirk at the control freakishness of Christian Grey.

Coed in the Garden; your homework assignment

1. Never cut your hair.

2. Read a book published in the last year, not a hundred years ago. Honestly pick a genre more in keeping with where you want us to be. I suggest the erotic adult fiction: maybe Crossfire, Diary of a Suburban Housewife, Meredith Wild's Hacker series.

3. Visit a sex shop by your self and buy three toys that interest you. Play with them, if you need help call me

4. Masturbate at least twice a week. Use the toys from item 3. Watch or read porn if you need it. Call me if you need it. image us together, doing all the things your kinky little mind is dreaming about.

5. Visit Victoria Secrets and get four sets of underwear you would never have before tried to wear. risqué and revealing; do this monthly. Wear each at least once a week.

6. Restart therapy; use the credit card to pay for it. I mean it. use the card. For any emergency you have. It has a 100,000-dollar limit. A know you will not abuse it, like my sister. Please I worry about you taking risk because of your financial situation. The card is hidden and can't be traced to me or GEH. SO USE IT!

7. Go out and enjoy the world, even if its sitting in a park reading. No more hiding in your house. Recluse and hermit like. Get out a feel the sun, I will do the same, and just not to exercise like I uses to. But to experience and enjoy the world we have.

8. EAT three meals a day. I mean it Anna. I worry about you and if you are starving yourself.

9. Research things you find hot, sexually or relationship wise. See if you would like to explorer them with me. I will always answer you honestly on them, no matter what.

10. Write or call me about your fears, worries and needs. Please tell me your inner thoughts, I promise to tell you mine. We can't move forward without exercising our past demons.

11. Know in my heart, you own me. forever own me your willing slave. You have given me hope that I have a heart and soul. That I can be the man you need and want. That we could be together.

I hope you find the list do-able. Not to hard or frightening. The music is a playlist I made just for you. I look forward to your letters.

Control Freak CEO

Xxxxxxxxx

I re-read the letter. Thinking about the items that I know will turn me bright fire engine red. But if I do them, learn to enjoy them. Learn to trust Chris, learn to allow him to touch me. Let my inner walls down. Walls that bastard three caused me to build.

I smile at the reflection in my laptop screen. A future with him, is heaven to me. my dreams have been erotic. For the first time, I try to masturbate, it goes wrong, leaving me upset and despondent. I know somehow now, it will work.

I check my door is locked, its late, near eleven o'clock at night. Will he answer? Will he care?

The phone rings, music than rings again. Weird?

"beautiful?"

"ski bum?"

"yes, my love. What do you need?"

"To hear you say what you wrote."

"Anna. I am ready to change my life: to have a chance to be with you. I want and need you. Tell me what's wrong?"

"Chris? I want and need you too. We need time to change and heal. Can you wait?"

"Forever if it means you're in my life. I know the months are going to be hard. But we can do this. Make our life's able to support and contain our love for each other. I know right now , we would destroy each other if we tried for everything. We must wait, grow and learn to be people that can nurture our future. Move us into future; that will lead to you being my soulmate and wife."

"We will see if I can do your list. I will send you mine in a few days. I love you."

"I love you too baby. We will make it."

"Good night Prince of Cats, read Reynard the Fox. To learn the error of your ways and quarrelsome nature."

"Good night Miss Gabrielle Maple, let not Bette Davis but Lauren Bacall be your muse to dream of meadows in Provence, or Seattle. Sleep well and dream a little of me"

He hangs up. I google the references.I remember now its one of Ray's favorite Bogart movies. Wetting even more after his sexy voice and words. I turn off the light and dream of him. Dream of him killing three before the pain, taking me to castle in the clouds. Making me his wife and never thinking of evil again.

I wake in the early morning screaming his name, shuttering with pleasure and ecstasy; sweat soaked and smelling of sex. I know what sex smells like living with Kate. I just had my first wet dream and orgasm. The future looks bright.

Xxxxxxxxxx

July 4: Seattle

Dad, Jose Sr., Jr and I have tickets for the Space-Needle observation deck tonight for the fireworks. I official won them with an essay to NRA magazine on children of military serving in war zones. Reality, Chris sent them, with the article framed with my award, and the true prize $150. 00..

We get two rooms at the Best Western Plus Pioneer Square Hotel. A VFW buddy got us a good discount. Jose Jr will sleep with me as the guys bunk out in the other room. Each room has two beds. We are only staying the night. I don't want the old guys trying to drive home after a full day.

We make are way to Space needle park, Dad got tickets for the Chihuly Garden and Glass museum this afternoon with Jose Sr. getting dinner reservations at the Quincy's in the Armory.

The Dad's always eat here when they bring us kids to Space Needle Park and the Museums. Jose Sr. was customer twenty in 1981 when they open here: Quincy's upbeat, casual setting, with their incredible Charbroiled burgers and unique salads. Make this a Steele Family must stop and eat. We all drool at the anticipation of great food.

We wander the glass museum, marveling at the sculptures. The play of colors and lights is magical. I only wish he was here. I know he will be near me on the observation deck watching the fireworks. I miss him, I will plan an outing later in the month, maybe a sunny day at Defiance Point.

After dinner we wander towards the needle, we must be there by 7:30 or we won't get in or a stop to watch. I surprise dad by taking his arm.

"Annie any boys interesting you in Vancouver?"

"No, Sorry just aren't interested in boy right now, I want my degree. Maybe later." I smirk hiding from his gaze. Boys no, hot copper headed control freak CEO! hell yes!

"you're being safe, I worry about you. Kate's very wild?" his fears that Kate will lead me to a skank life are misplaced and insulting to my friend. She has a lot of good point, good heart and a true friend. Better than me at the moment.

"Dad, I'm the safest Coed in the country. I'm still a virgin. No college boy has earned or is worth of my love." Dad blush red. In his verbose way. "Grunt, good."

The Conversation dies thank god. I don't think if he had continued to interrogate me, I wouldn't have any blood left in my brain, since It would all be in my skin, flaring a neon fire engine red blush.

The ride up is crowed, the guys hold them back giving me a little space, so I don't freak out. Crowds still scare me. we are shown are spot. I look around, not seeing him and his family.

At 8:30, they arrive, a are escorted to the VIP section. They get seats. I know next year, we will be seated over there. He will be holding me, loving me, making our dreams reality.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pike market, I'm shopping with Kate when my other phone rings. I check it's a text. He's here, wanting a little PDA. I leave Kate in the jewelry shop. "Kate I'm going to check the Undercover Quilt shop, see you in thirty. Or I'm leaving. Remember I have the car keys." Walking away laughing at her pout. She could spend a day, night, hell the weekend in that shop before she was satisfied she had the right jewelry.

I sneak down to the Post Alley, He's here in a hoody jogging suit looking all mysterious and anonymous. I wet as he kisses me, making me feel loved and cherished. We have to be quick, the time disappears, I can't wait till New Year's in New York. no more hiding, no more stolen moments and kisses. Shit? Kate's is calling me. I break, headed for the Quilt store. I manage to explain away where I was. We head out to the Kells Irish Pub for dinner before heading south to College. I see my man smiling at me as we pullout of the parking space.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chris is at a Gala tonight. We are going to the annual Children's Halloween Costume Making Party in Tacoma. I relax, maybe Chris will sneak don for the Halloween party Jose is throwing. "Vans here Anna."

We get into the Van; the blondes are already here. The Future Doctor wives are shameless and worse skank's then Kate. I nearly fall at the sight of my doppelganger. Something about her, makes me think of Chris's ex's. The driver pulls away, creepy old Chester type of pervert. Hopeful the other will provide protection. My twin, sneers evilly at us, holding a hankie to her mouth, a gas mask hidden underneath. SHIT! This is Bad! She sprays us. The lights go out.

I can't see, everything is pulling me this way and that. I can't breathe, my jaw won't open. I feel so lost and sleepwalking. Could I be sleepwalking, dreaming I'm sleepwalking. Too deep Anna, way too deep. I slam into a wall of muscle; strong arms hold me. His arms hold me, my man.

Bright light hurts my left eye, I think its my left eye. I see blobs and colors. His perfect green fleck grey eyes wet me. I'm a sack being hurdled over the race track. I hope I don't barf, I can't open my mouth.

I feel a warm seat heat my ass. A sweet-smelling blanket covers me. My mouth can open a little. I relax dreaming Chris has me. making me loved and safe.

He releases my head, I feel free, smiling I pet his face, licking my lips. He makes me drink some cool water. I fade to sleep, knowing I am his and safe.