Chapter 4: The woman who is a scientist, once had a mother
Ritsuko walks into Gendo's office. He sat, and unlike his usual self, in a relaxed way.
"How's the report?"
"Here." She said, laying it out before him. "It surprises me you can hold off the committee, faking your long gone love for Yui, and your lack of attention to your son."
"I do owe Naoko a lot."
"Actually, in a way, I'm your daughter, you know. The committee is really dumb to think I'm actually infatuated with you."
"The committee can believe whatever it wants. Though, shouldn't you keep some distance from their boy?"
"Kaworu is like my child to me. He saved my mother."
"Still, I can't trust him. Yet. Worst case scenario, we might even need to remove him."
"I don't think he's all for the committee. They weren't very kind to him. Besides, he cares about me too."
"Well, at least don't spill your guts. The committee can't know that we are going to stop their plans. Who knows what they'll do to us."
"I won't. But you've got to trust him more. He and Rei make a good pair, don't you think?"
"He's technically your son, while Rei's technically my daughter."
"You're so old fashioned. I care for Rei, so she's my daughter too."
"At least they trust you. I don't know how to reach my son."
"A good way of connecting to Shinji is to spend time with him. Show him you care."
"Rits!" Misato called. "I have important news for you."
"What is it? You rarely look that concerned."
"They're sending in Unit 02 and Unit Beta from Berlin. Along with the pilot. Unit Alpha didn't work out, as you know. Don't tell the boy too soon. He will be distraught. Somehow, they've finally decided that we'll need them more. Also, there's something you should know…"
"Just say it."
"Your mother. They're sending her over. Her mental state's erratic, and they think she's not going to have much time left. So they want you to be able to see her one last time."
"I see." She says curtly, walking away, hiding that tear that slides down her cheek.
Mother, even Kaworu couldn't save you, could he? He only delayed the inevitable. But you tried so hard… I thought you would wake up.
"Sempai!" Maya called out.
"Yes, Maya?"
"Something irregular is going on in the Magi- Casper kept showing a file that requires a passcode to unlock. And we couldn't do anything to override it."
"I'll check it, Maya. Thanks for telling me." She said, the messages Misato and Maya brought her on her mind.
Mother… is there something you wish to tell me before you go?
She stared at her computer screen.
MAGI CASPER ENCRIPTED FILE: NAOKO AKAGI
PASSCODE REQUIRED
"Gehirn" She typed the word in. That was obviously the answer, as it was the last word she said before she fell into a coma, the others told her.
ACCESS ALLOWED
She sighed. Opening the file, she reads out the contents to herself.
Dear Ritsuko,
If you're reading this, then Kaworu must have alerted me that the Angels have started coming, causing that I will be brought back to Japan. Do not worry, I won't be dying yet. Here, as I am on my way to you, I shall explain why I left you, in a coma.
Before the incident with Yui, I was in a way, confused. I didn't really understand how to balance out between my duty as a mother, my work as a scientist, and my heart as a woman. I shouldn't have went that far with Gendo, even if he did feel something for me, perhaps. But then, it's too late now, there isn't a way to change what's in the past. But then, mankind's future depends on us, so there are things we must do.
Yui had presented to the committee, before everything, a plan. The Human Instrumentality Project, as you know. But what you probably didn't know, was that she prepared it for her son. She was going to give birth to Shinji, and she thought with the world in that state, she could make him into a God, letting him choose his world, free from hurt and pain.
She forgets that hurt and pain are both lessons that one must learn in life, that it is actually necessary for him to learn those things. However, she neglects that, wishing to give him a perfect world, and thus we have the Human Instrumentality Project. Gendo tries to stop her, but naturally he fails. Seeking affirmation that he is right, I came into question. You know what happened later on, but I just wanted to make sure you know.
However, I didn't fall into a coma because of an accident on the plane. I knew it was the only way to placate Yui, so I asked Kaworu to do it. You have to trust him. He's our only chance. As to why, you'll have to ask him himself. That is his to tell. He's like a grandson to me. He speaks well of you, and how you helped Rei. But anyways, I believed it was the only way to protect you from Yui, as she took control of Unit 01. I am sorry for leaving you alone all these years, but I'm sure you found something by yourself, didn't you?
Well now that the Angels have come, it is necessary that I am alive. I shall awaken from my slumber. Yui would not be able to harm me, because of her son's presence. Don't hurt him. He doesn't know anything of what happened in the past, and he is innocent. What is in the past is gone, and if we all live through this, maybe Gendo and I can find something. But now, we must be careful. We can't afford to lose.
I look forward to seeing you again, and I hope you forgive me for my absence all these years.
From your mother,
Naoko Akagi
P.S. This file will be deleted by the time you close it.
Memorising every word of the letter, Ritsuko wipes away her tears. A small smile forms.
"Mother," she whispers to Casper.
"Of course I forgive you. It was all for me, wasn't it?"