Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.

Thirteen

I have woken up screaming three times. Each time I fall asleep I find myself in a gray stone room with no doors or windows, the only light illuminating from the glass jars on shelves that line the walls. Their contents silver liquid that seems to glow. He's here too.

The first time he was on top of me, knee digging into my shoulder as he plunges the small silver knife into my chest.

The second time I was him, seeing myself through his eyes, plunging the knife into my own chest.

The third and final time I am lying on the ground, his dead body crushing the minimal air I have out of my lungs. I can feel the warmth of his blood seeping out of his body surrounding us in a strange silver halo. When I look down, it's not Maven at all. It's Cal.

I don't go back to sleep after that.

Instead, the sky still dark, the sun barely rising over the horizon, I find myself wandering the halls. A few maids rush around getting ready for the day's events but they pay me no mind. In no time, I find myself in front of a familiar door. He isn't here, I know that, but I push the door open slowly and quietly all the same. I can still smell the burning wood from days before, the hearth is cold by now. His bed is unmade, left just as it was when he woke here last. Papers and folders are stacked on his desk, half of them gone through with his notes of recruitment and curriculum scribbled down the sides.

I run my hand over the words he's written as if I could hold the hand that wrote them. The wiring is shot in this room, my fault from months ago, I know, and the room is bathed in the dark blue of barely morning.

I make my way over to the bed slowly, to the side I know he sleeps on. I lay down breathing deep, I can still smell him. I pull the blankets over me and pretend the warmth they give is his. You could stay here, you know. I think selfishly to myself, you can stay here with him, safe and warm and happy. But could I? Would I be happy here? I close my eyes breathing him in and I fall asleep without any dreams.

I'm woken by a startled maid coming in to change the sheets. "Oh, miss, I'm sorry." She apologizes, trying her best not to bow. "I didn't know you were in here."

I sit up, trying to stretch out the kink in my neck, "No, it's my fault. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

The maid fiddles with her fingers nervously. "I just had your breakfast brought up to your room. I can have them bring it in here, if you'd like miss."

"No, no." I wave her off, "I'll go back to my room." I say standing to leave the room, if only to get away from the woman who continuously calls me 'miss'.

"Miss," She calls before I leave the room and I have to fight a grimace. I turn to see her cheeks blaze a brilliant red. "I'd be remise if I didn't…" She trails taking a tentative step forward. "I just wanted to tell you thank you myself." She says gathering her courage and straightening her back, she meets my gaze head on with no fear. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Something in her eyes stops me from chastising this woman. She must be my mother's age or near to it, gray streaks creep from her temples into her tight bun.

At the furrow of my brows she continues hastily, "I know you don't want to be thanked or anything of the kind, but you have done so much for us reds, I couldn't let the opportunity pass."

I nod, allowing her thanks. "You're right, I don't want your thanks."

She hangs her head in disappointment.

"But," I say calling her attention back up to me. "Thank you." I almost choke on the words, I haven't said it in so long. "If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know."

She puts a hand to her chest in shock, "For me?" She repeats unbelieving, "I should be saying that to you!"

I smile at the woman, bowing my head to her, "No need, you do enough already."

She smiles at me, a bit of mischief in her eyes, "You don't think you could…?" She trails off pointing up to the chandelier, "Could you fix it?"

At that I bark out a genuine laugh. "That's my fault, I'm afraid," I rub the back of my neck sheepishly. "I think he needs a new one."

She nods with a smile, "I'll have Mr. Jacos order one. Now, go and eat, you have a full day ahead of you and you'll need your strength." She says shooing me from the room.

"Yes, ma'am." I say and make my way back down the hallway to my room. Get through it, get through it, get through it.

Kilorn has already eaten half my breakfast by the time I get to my room.

"Didn't you get your own breakfast?" I ask reclaiming the bacon in his hand.

"I did and I'm still hungry," He pouts sitting back on the purple couch. "And you weren't here. Where'd you go?"

I plop down next to him, chewing on the meat. "I couldn't sleep. Took a walk." I say decidedly not telling him where I walked to.

"Nightmares?" He asks looking sidelong at me, concern painting his features. "I thought Farley was going to stay with you."

I nod, "Farley's annoyed with me."

He chuckles, "What did you do this time?"

"I told her I wasn't going to Archeon." I say around a large piece of melon. Gisa would not approve of my table manners.

"Yeah, I told her that was going to happen." Kilorn says rubbing the back of his neck. "I even bet Cal."

I grimace, so that's what the bet was about. "Great. Did you at least win any money off them?" I ask rolling my eyes.

"Nah, it was only for pride, and bragging rights of course." Kilorn's chest puffs as he talks. I can already see his head doubling in size.

"Of course," I groan, "Farley's making me go anyway."

"Are you surprised?" He asks turning to me, raising one eyebrow.

"No, I guess not. I just don't…" I trail off not knowing how to voice my emotions. I want to see the school. I want to see Cal. I don't want to step foot in Whitefire. "I don't want to go back there."

"I don't blame you," Kilorn says sighing, "I wouldn't either. You almost died twice in that place."

"More than that." I grumble crossing my arms over my chest.

"Semantics." Kilorn says waving me off, "But that place wasn't what did all that to you. It was one person and he's dead now. You don't have to be afraid of the place."

"He might be dead, but he's still there." I push childishly.

"He's buried in a steel box under six feet of silent stone covered in cement. Even if it was possible for him to rise from the dead, he's not getting out of there."

"You've seen the tomb?" I ask, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Yeah," Kilorn says slowly looking at his lap. "I asked Cal to take me there the last time I was here. He wouldn't step foot in the room. I don't know if he could feel the silent stone or not. I didn't ask."

I stare at the remaining food on my plate, my appetite gone, and he continues.

"They took the stones from the room where he kept you. I was there for that too."

I snap my gaze up to meet his. His bottle green eyes bore into mine. "They destroyed it?" Hope and equal parts dread pools in my gut. If there is no evidence of my pain and torture, does it still exist? Did it happen at all? Of course it did. I still have the scar to show for it. Even more, unseen. It must have happened. I wish I could have clawed that room apart with my own bare hands.

"No." Kilorn says and I feel the weight of the word on my shoulders. Heavy and unmoving. "Cal and I both decided not to tell you this part and that is on both of us." He says his palms raised in surrender. "Just listen, okay?"

I nod slowly, taking deep breaths. Think of it from his point of view, Evangeline's voice springs forward in my memory and I try, I really try.

"Julian, Cal and I found it. Cal threw up and Julian cried. Especially when he found the books." Kilorn stands abruptly, pacing the room as he recalls the horrid events of my cage. "Annabel saw it next and was genuinely disgusted. I saw it with my own two eyes. She had the stones removed and buried them on top of Maven. When they lowered them I heard her say 'For Mare'. I shit you not." He stops pacing and crosses his heart with his finger. "You can even ask Julian, he heard it too." He continues his pacing, "This next part – Cal and I wanted nothing to do with this part." He stops pacing in front of me and meets my gaze, imploring me to understand. His shoulders slump and his arms dangle loosely at his side. "They kept the room. They use it as a teaching tool." Kilorn moves to sit back down next to me. "They show the kids the room when they teach them about the end of the war."

This is not what I was expecting when he started his story. "They kept it?" I ask disbelieving. On one hand I understand the importance of showing children what a monster did to another person, to prevent those acts in the future, but on the other hand…

Kilorn leans back into the cushion on the couch, "Yeah," He sighs. "Cal won't go near the thing and threatens to burn it down at least once a week."

I feel my lips trying to twitch into a smile. I wish he would burn the whole palace down.

As Farley promised I am in the seat next to her on the jet.

"And how are we this lovely morning?" She asks cheerily as she buckles herself into her own seat. She's mocking me.

"Tired." I grumble under my breath.

"Nightmares?" She asks quietly enough that only I can here. I nod. "I'm sorry," She says, "I feel asleep going through paperwork. I did mean to come by."

"It's okay," I mutter, "I've got to practice sometime, right?"

She purses her lips as she watches me, but she says nothing.

"What does this tour consist of?" I ask turning to Kilorn across from me.

He smiles at me, this has been one of his projects over the last month and you can see the pride shining off him like the sun. "I'm glad you asked." He says, "We are going to watch their training session, then they will give us a demonstration of what they've learned. We go into a presentation on the curriculum after that while the children are eating lunch with their families. Then while the kids are in class, we will tour the halls and the dormitories as well as some empty classrooms. Then the last thing is the presentation on the future of the Academy. Then we come back and have a fancy dinner and go to bed."

"Is that all?" Farley drawls, "We only have three hours."

"I know," Kilorn snaps, "But I had to fit it all in there somehow."

Farley smirks at him, "I'm only teasing Warren, you did well."

Kilorn sits back into his chair, fighting, and losing, a smirk.

The flight is short, much shorter than the trip from Montfort. Not nearly enough time for me to stop the shaking in my fingers. I have not made a decision yet, not one that would change anything. Cal owns my heart that much is very clear. He is the one that I love, the only one that I have ever and will ever love. I just don't know if I can stay. If I should stay. But maybe you can.

I shake my head of the migraine inducing thoughts as the wheels of the jet touch down, causing me to bounce in my seat. This runway is not nearly as smooth as Fort Patriot's. I look out the window across the river, there are transports and people bustling around, but I notice there are some buildings missing and the three-tier bridge currently only has one tier, the metal skeleton of another tier waiting to be built above it.

As the jet parks and opens the hinged door at the back, I work my buckles slowly, dreading the thought of leaving the plane. I don't want to be here. Get through it. Get through it. Get through it. I grit my teeth as I unbuckle the last safety restraint and stand, back straight and strong. I will not give anyone here the pleasure of seeing me weak. I will not.

I stomp out of the plane with the rest of our precession into the bright sun of Archeon.

To my dismay, Natasa is waiting for us on the runway. I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes at her black and red dress. Cal's old house colors. I will give her a black eye to match before I leave for Montfort, I promise myself and I feel a bit of warmth in the pit of my cold heart. I truly hate this woman.

"Good morning." Natasa chirps as we depart the back of the jet. "We have transports waiting for you to take you to the Academy." She gestures behind her at the waiting transports, "We're all very excited to have you here today."

Farley follows me to the first transport and for some unknown reason Natasa seems to think it would be wise to travel with us. She climbs into the front seat, sitting sideways in the chair to better see us. I'm directly diagonal her from my seat behind the driver.

"I'm so excited to have you here, Mare." She says trying to engage me and I nod. There is no conversation that I could have with this woman to make me be civil. She's trying valiantly, I'll give her that. "Cal has been so nervous the past few days." She says looking down at her lap, "I know he's happy you're here."

So she's not as dumb as I thought. "I was happy to see him too." I respond, not giving her the validation she was looking for.

She meets my gaze, worrying on her fat bottom lip. "There will be news crews there and they have requested to get a quick interview with you. He told them they would have to take it up with you."

I look over at Farley who nods, "Yes, but that is up to you, Mare." She says meeting my gaze. "You don't have to do that."

"At least I get a choice in that." I retort, still mad I'm even here. Get through it, get through it.

"Yes, well, we can't all be that lucky." Farley turns her attention back to her own window, not rising to the bait.

Natasa looks sheepish, "Your interview is scheduled when we arrive, General."

Farley doesn't respond. I return to looking out my window, watching the buildings as we pass, the missing faces of buildings winking like missing teeth in a smile.

"Mare?" Natasa tries calling my attention from the front seat.

I don't turn my head. "Yes?"

"I want you to know…" She trails off her words thick and she clears her throat, "I want you to know I care very much about Cal."

"I can tell." I turn to meet her emerald eyes, they waver just slightly when they meet my mud brown gaze. "You've made it abundantly clear."

"I'm not sure how you feel or what you plan to do-" She starts but I cut her off.

I lean forward in my chair so that our faces are mere inches away. "What my feelings are or what I plan to do after this trip are mine and Cal's. I don't owe you anything." I can feel a spark run down the side of my face with my scars. It wasn't planned but I watch her eyes widen slightly as they trail the purple veins of electricity.

"I'm not afraid of you." She says so quietly it doesn't add much to her case. I can see fear in her eyes all the same.

"You should be." I say sitting back in my chair.

"I-is that a threat?" She asks trying to find her steel, but stutters anyway.

"It's a promise." I say turning back to the window.

Oh my goodness! You all are so sweet! Hopefully this wasn't too long of a wait! Let me know what you guys think, it seriously makes my day when I get a review.