Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Eighteen
I'm on my feet in an instant, the lights flashing up above. I blink against the sharpness of the sudden light as people shout and gasp. My head whips back and forth as I search the crowd. She's gone.
I have to find her.
Rage has a strange taste, bitter and sweet and hot in the back of my throat, it boils through my bones and blood, causing my feet to march towards the last spot I saw her at.
"Barrow," Farley growls in my ear, her hand, rough and tight, is wrapped around my arm. She drags me toward the door and it takes all my focus not to shock her. "What are you doing?" She asks through gritted teeth as we walk. I can't answer, all my concentration on my ability and not hurting her, my breathing harsh and quick.
Farley all but throws me into the hallway, I falter in my steps as I try to right myself on these stupid heels. My palms catching me as they slam into the granite wall.
There are people in the hallway, reds and silvers, drinks in their hands. They whisper and glance at us from the corner of their eyes, trying not to stare. I don't care.
Farley glares at them over her shoulder with a snarl, turning she throws her arms wide, "Enjoying the show?" The reds blush and the silvers pale, all shuffling back into the ballroom avoiding her eyes. She turns back to me, her blue eyes alight like the hottest fire, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Her." I growl back at her finally finding my voice. "She's not red." My hands shake with anger.
Farley puts her hands on her hips, clearly exasperated with me. "Who? Who's not red?"
"Natasha!" I practically shout, "She's a fucking newblood whisper." The lights above me pop raining glass onto my shoulders and my hair. I don't move.
Farley's wide eyes search the marble floor as if for an answer. "Halley?" She whispers looking back up to me.
I nod violently, "Yes, Halley said she can read and control thoughts, but not movement." I could feel my blood boiling underneath my skin.
"What's going on?" Cal asks as he enters the hallway behind Farley, a scowl marring his face. Kilorn and Evangeline follow him silently.
"Apparently," Farley says rubbing her face with a hand, "Your little assistant is hiding something."
Cal's gaze turns to me, his face falling in disappointment. "I thought we were past this."
I can feel my face contorting in a scowl, words of anger and betrayal bubble up in my throat but Farley stops me before I can speak. "Natasha is a newblood. A newblood whisper to be precise."
Cal looks at Farley his brows furrowing, but he doesn't speak, his lips purse as if stopping the words before they are spoken.
"Okay," Kilorn says slowly, taking a step forward, "If she is, what do we do about it?" He looks from me to Cal, "She hasn't done anything illegal."
"That we know of," Evangeline pipes in.
Kilorn ignores her and continues, "And she hasn't used her power on anyone."
"Again, that we know of," Evangeline interrupts again.
I look down at the marble beneath my feet, taking deep breaths, "Halley said she might not know, but I tested her. She knows what she is."
"She's probably been playing us for weeks." Farley crosses her arms over her chest taking a step back so she can lean against the wall next to me.
"We don't know that," Cal says pointing a finger, defending Natasha. "She might not know how to control it."
"Or she does and she's been busy manipulating you." I counter, the bastard doesn't believe me. How can he not believe me? Why is he protecting her? "She was in my head not two minutes ago, I know she was, and you're what? Trying to protect her?"
"You don't know all the facts, Mare," Cal growls.
I take a step forward getting in his space, "She was in my fucking head Cal, how's that for a fact?"
Cal takes a step back looking down the hallway not answering me, not looking at me. He can't meet my eyes.
"You knew." I breathe, the air rushing from my lungs as if I had been punched in the gut. It's like the world has come crumbling down around me. He still won't meet my eyes and I feel a steel grip around my heart. I push him in the chest sending him back a few steps. "You knew!"
"Mare," He tries reaching for my hands to hold me back. "Mare, listen."
"How could you?!" I pushed at him again, purple white sparks dance across my fingers. I couldn't pull them back now if I tried. The buzz of electricity rings in my ears and a few more light bulbs pop.
"Mare, stop." Kilorn pulls my arm back, his hair standing on end with the static.
There has only been one other time that I have felt this betrayed. But instead of kneeling in a grand hall in front of a king, this time I can barely stand, my knees knocking together, looking at the love of my life like I don't recognize him. Cal looks at the ground, hands still at his sides. The air around me is cold and I don't think I could ever get warm again, the ice settling in my bones.
"I didn't tell you for a reason." He whispers to the floor.
"Bullshit." I spit at him, "She wouldn't have been able to save him." Maven. He knows who I'm taking about, what I mean. I want Cal to hurt just as much as I do right now. I feel as if my heart has been ripped from my chest, the gaping wound oozing anger and vitriol. "He was dead long before I killed him." I snarl.
He looks at me then, the pain and anger in his bronze eyes freezing me on the spot. I almost looked to see if my fingers were turning blue.
"I know that," His teeth grit together, his fists balling at his sides, "She doesn't know how to control it."
Evangeline scoffs, Cal doesn't turn but his eyes close in exasperation.
"Then why is she in my fucking head?!" I shout, another light down the hall pops and shatters, the hall becoming dim and dark.
His eyes seem to fill with fire, "I don't know." I can hear his teeth snapping with the words.
Farley pinches the bridge of her nose as she takes a deep breath. "We are supposed to be leaving tomorrow." She says to no one in particular. She raises her gaze to Kilorn, "I'm staying until this is settled."
Kilorn nods, "I will too."
"Farley," Cal starts but she cuts him off.
"No. You had more than enough time to settle this shit without us and you didn't. You let a whisper run wild with dignitaries and political alliances. You have put everything we have worked for in jeopardy."
"But-" He tries to cut in but she keeps going.
"And you believed her when she said she couldn't control it?" She scoffs, "Did you learn nothing from Elara? From Samson? From your mother?" She shakes her head at him, "One thing I've always agreed on with Iris and the rest of the Lakelander Royalty is that there is no place for whispers in this world."
Cal's brows furrow, "That's no better than saying there are no place for reds in this world. Both are incorrect."
"Then what Cal?" She argues, her voice rising with every word, "Are you just going to keep her around like a pet?" Victory and the past few months have not eased the relationship between these two. Farley squares her shoulders and pushes off the wall taking a measured step toward Cal. "I wonder how long you've been hiding this?" She says her eyes narrowing. "You've had her in several state meetings Cal."
He doesn't back down, "What are you trying to say Farley?" A muscle jumps in his jaw, sparks dance across his wrist but he doesn't ignite them.
"I think you know, Calore," She doesn't back down, she knows what he's capable of and she also knows he wouldn't and couldn't burn us all. "It wouldn't be the first time that you switched sides on us."
"Farley-" Cal growls taking a step forward, fist clenched, but Kilorn jumps between them.
"Hey, cut it out, both of you." He says giving them each a pointed glance. His green eyes resting on Cal, "Take a walk." He tips his chin down the hall. "You two yelling at each other in the middle of the hall isn't helping anything." Kilorn's eyes bounce to me behind Farley, "You too, get yourself under control. I'll get Davidson and Julian and we will meet back in the council chambers tonight after everyone has left. And we will talk about this civilly, is that clear?" He looks at each of us in turn. Evangeline is busy inspecting her nails as Farley and I huff, our breathing coming quick and fast in anger.
Farley's lips are thin, her eyes narrowed as she points a finger at Cal, "If I find out you were up to something, I swear it on Clara's life, I will kill you." She turns and stomps down the hall.
Kilorn lets his head fall back, looking up to the ceiling unseeing. "And I thought I would just get drunk and enjoy the night, but no, of course not." He sighs, glancing at me. My hands are balled into fists and my shoulders are tight. "Go back to your room, calm down. I'll come and get you later."
I nod curtly. He's right, I know he is, but the rage simmering under my skin calls for violence and I don't move.
He watches me warily before he turns back to the ballroom, shaking his head and shoving his hands in his pockets. Evangeline follows him slowly, looking at me over her shoulder before the door closes behind her.
"Mare." Cal's voice is rough, like my name tore its way out of his throat.
He reaches for me and I recoil.
His expression falls, pain etched in every line. "Mare, please." He begs taking a step forward his hand still reaching for mine.
"Don't." I warn. I can't have him touch me. Not now. I can't let his warmth seep into my bones or my heart. "I trusted you." I hold onto the cold wrapping around me as if the ice in my veins will protect me from his fire.
His hand drops back to his side. "Please let me explain."
I shake my head, "You can explain later. To everyone." I turn on my heel, sparks trailing behind me. I don't look back.
My room is dark, the lights had exploded as I entered the room.
Glass crunches underneath Farley's feet as she makes her way to me. I sit under the window, knees up to my chin, still in my dress. Farley has changed, her dress replaced by black slacks and a black top. She taps my foot with her big Scarlett Guard boots, "Hey."
"Hey," I respond not raising my head.
"You popped some lights in my room too." She says sitting down next to me, her back resting against the wall, her long legs splayed out before her.
"Sorry."
She shrugs, "If I could, I probably would too."
"What are we going to do?" I ask turning to look at her.
She runs a hand down her face, "I don't know. Other than her reading thoughts, she hasn't really done anything wrong. Maybe Cal's right, maybe she barely knows how to control it."
"I don't buy that." I stretch my legs out and put my hands in my lap.
"I know, I don't either." She tips her head back, letting it rest against the wall as she stares up at the ceiling. "I just want to see my daughter."
"You don't have to stay. I can take care of this."
She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, not convinced. "Sure you will. Natasha will be right next to Maven if I let you handle it." At the look on my face she scrubs her face again, "That's not what I meant."
"No?" I ask, "I'm not a murderer Farley."
"I know you're not. It's just…" She trails off looking up to the ceiling again. "Between war and this… it's hard to remember it's over." She sighs, "I'm still ready to fight, waiting for the next battle."
"I am too." The constant anxiety and tension of victory is not as sweet as I thought it would be. There is still pending doom on the horizon and I keep watching, keep waiting for next fight. "What am I going to do?" About Cal, about it all.
Farley takes a deep breath and wraps an arm around my shoulder pulling me into her side. We don't talk for a long time, both knowing there's nothing to say, no answer to make all of this okay.
"We can't have her in state meetings, who knows where her allegiance lie." Kilorn argues from one of the plush chairs in the council chambers, a chorus of nods and agreement follow his sentiment. Cal remains silent.
Like the rest of the palace the council chambers have been redecorated. A large oak table sits in the middle of the room, large arm chairs surround it and there are no chairs at either head of the table. There is no longer a king and there is no chair for a ruler. Eight of us sit around the table, changed out of our wedding attire, you could almost forget the occupants were not common.
Evangeline clicks her metal covered claws on the table. "Of course not," She agrees, "Nor should she be in the palace. There are too many people here for her to damage what we've accomplished."
"We?" Cal toys with the edge of the table, looking across at Evangeline, speaking for the first time, "If I remember correctly, you weren't too keen to help the cause."
She leans over the table threateningly, "And if I remember correctly, neither were you, your highness," She spits the title at him like it disgusts her even though a few short months ago she was royalty herself. "You know what I've sacrificed for this world," She continues and I can feel the metal in my chair groan and tighten with her anger, "How dare you."
I put a hand to her wrist trying to still her. She turns to me and takes a breath, I feel my chair relax underneath me with her exhale.
"We have all sacrificed for this world," Julian looks tired, the man was just newlywed mere hours ago and it seems years away. "But Kilorn is right, we can't have her in meetings where anything delicate is discussed."
"She can read minds Julian, being kicked out of a few meetings isn't going to stop her." Farley sighs turning to Cal, her brow raised. "Are you going to tell us how this all happened?"
Cal at least has the decency to look guilty. He is guilty, I feel my anger rise the longer I look at him, the hollow pit in my chest swallowing me whole into a deep darkness. When the lights dim I have to look away before I pop more bulbs.
I can feel his eyes watch me, the heat of his gaze dragging up my form and stilling on my face. I will not meet his gaze. I cannot. I won't.
"We needed extra hands with the kids. Extra teachers," He starts, his words slow as if he is remembering a dream. "There was a job opening and Natasha best fit the description." He pauses, as if thinking deep about what comes next. I still cannot look at him. "We hired her. Everything was going well in the beginning, it was as if she could anticipate what I needed before I spoke it."
Farley scoffs crossing her arms over her chest.
Cal continues, not sparing a glance for the general across from him, "Within a week she had answered a question I didn't say out loud. I knew then."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Julian asks, his voice strained and pleading. He searches his nephew's face, fear etching the deep age lines around his mouth and eyes. I can tell the ghost of his sister is not far from his mind, her life stolen away by a whisper.
"I don't know, I wanted to," Cal says, "But something kept stopping me."
"Or someone." Evangeline interjects.
Heat ripples across the air so quickly you could almost see it. "She doesn't know how to control it." He repeats for the umpteenth time as his fist hits the table.
"That's what she tells you," Evangeline pushes, "You have no idea if that's true or not."
Cal says nothing, he knows it's true but he won't admit that to Evangeline.
"If she is telling the truth," I say speaking for the first time, "And she doesn't know what she's doing, what do we do with her?"
"She cannot continue working at the Academy, that's for sure." Cameron answers from across from me.
"No shit." Farley scoffs next to me, her arms still crossed over her chest, her knee bobbing up and down.
"Obviously," I continue, "But then what?" I look up and down the table, "Do we just let her go?"
Davidson shrugs, "I suppose, if she truly hasn't done anything wrong then yes, we would have to let her go."
"She could be valuable." Cal argues, "We should put her in a new role, not exile her for what she is."
Sparks race down my arms and I sit forward in my chair, "What value, Cal? You want to use her for interrogations?" I grip the edge of the table, "Maybe you want to put her in manacles and have her trail you around?" I can taste the bitterness like blood on my tongue.
"Mare." Evangeline whispers.
My gaze snaps to hers, "What?! Maybe you could make her a new collar?" I can feel rage building in my chest again and I dig my nails into the wood of the table. I turn back to Cal, bronze eyes full of pain meeting my fury filled ones. "Tell me, Tiberias, what value is she?"
Cal winces at my use of his name and he rubs a hand down his face.
"What if she is lying?" Cameron asks quietly before Cal can speak. "What if she knows what she's doing? What she is?"
"She'll be arrested and tried." Julian answers with a sigh. "We need to find out either way." He looks to Cal, "She will need to be questioned."
Davidson adjusts in his chair, "Cameron, I believe we may need your assistance in silencing her ability. We don't want her to hear our thoughts while we question her."
Cameron nods solemnly. She has gained more and more control over her ability over the months but she still has not come to like what she can do. I fight the chill running up my spine at the thought of her silence.
"We need to find her first." Kilorn leans back in his chair, putting an arm around the back of Cameron's.
"Has anyone seen her?" Farley leans her elbows on the table, looking up and down at each face in turn. No one has seen her.
"Great," I grumble, pushing myself from the table. "I'll start looking for her."
Cal's gaze snaps up to mine, "I'll help you." He offers.
I stand from the table, "I don't need your help."
"Mare, please." He stands as well, his eyes pleading with me. I can feel six pairs of eyes ping-pong between us.
I watch him, the man I love, the one I had thought about every moment for three months, the one I had cried for, the one that shattered whatever I had left of my heart. I shake my head at him.
"No." I don't spare him another glance as I walk out of the chambers. I can't.
OMG I'm soo sorry for the long wait! I try to have at least one chapter a week and this month has just gotten away from me. Thank you all so much for the love, I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think!