When I opened my eyes and remembered what awaited me today, I tried to go back to sleep, covering myself with the quilt, although it only lasted a few minutes, as my brother opened the door while calling me, what made me complain.
"It's time to get up" he spoke closer. "Come on, Mya" he said shortly before grabbing my hand to make sure of what I said the previous night. "Are you going to explain to me why are you doing this?" he asked the moment I looked at him and he sat on the edge of the bed.
"I don't need to explain it to anyone, it is a habit that I have and I will continue to have" I sat up on the bed. "I understand that you worry, but I'm fine, Mon-el" I tried to assure him, although I did not seem to convince him at all.
"You know you can always count on me, right?" He brushed the hair from my face. "I'm not going to judge you, ever" he said, moving to hug me.
I nodded lightly placing my head on his shoulder, allowing him to keep me hugged for as long as he wanted, but it did not take him long to separate me from him and grab my face.
"Do you want to choose with which person you are going to talk to?" He asked looking me directly in the eyes, which made me shake my head, again, I did not need to talk to anyone. "Do you want to talk to me?" He questioned, but not even I bothered to answer. "Imra?" he continued, but after realizing that I did not respond to anything, he stopped asking. "Okay, we go to the DEO then" he sighed getting up. "Get ready" he asked before leaving.
I sighed, closing my eyes as I let myself fall on the bed, how many more times should I refuse to do it? Despite not wanting to do it, I ended up preparing myself.
My brother looked at me the moment I left the room, watching me closely while sighing and shaking his head.
"Is there something you want to do today?" He asked leaving a plate of pancakes in front of me.
"I thought we were going to the DEO" I answered looking him directly in the eyes.
"I know you're not going to speak, I'll reconsider if you give me reasons to do so" he explained making me nod before starting to eat without wanting to say anything else about it. "Do you want to go somewhere?" he questioned again, to which I shook my head. "In that case, what do you think if we show National City to Imra?" He pointed at her while asking the question to what I looked at her, who seemed surprised by the proposal, but willing to agree if I answered that I would, so I nodded slightly.
For much of the morning we walked through the streets of the city, barely speaking to each other, and it was that I used to walk alone in front of them, taking my time to think, although without doing anything special.
My brother suggested the idea of going to the ice cream shop, the one I used to go with Kara when I ended the classes, hoping that my brother would have managed to sit at the table that was next to a window, from that I dedicated myself to observe everything that happened on the street, to which I began to go with Zale when we went out of the rehearsals and that for seven months I had not dared to step in again, not even to pass in front of it.
I stopped at the entrance while sighing feeling that I was going to break at any time as a result of the memories that were assaulting me. However, I managed to shake my head, get rid of them all and sit in front of Imra and my brother.
"Are you okay?" She asked, the worry visible on her face.
"Yes, it's just that ..., It's been a long time ago since I came the last time" I answered.
"You haven't eaten ice cream for seven months?" The question was asked by my brother, making me laugh lightly while shaking my head. "Where are you going now?" He asked curiously.
"To the one next to the apartment" I answered. "But not as often as before" I wanted to explain ducking my head, which made Mon-el ask the reasons. "This year is much more demanding than the previous one, I need more study hours" I looked at him.
"Did you sign up for an extracurricular activity?" he asked me. "You quit the choir" he said at the same time I nodded.
"The astronomy club, it's interesting" I commented with a sincere smile.
I let the conversation stop focusing on me, diverting my attention to what was happening on the street, ducking my head the moment I saw them there. That group of "popular" had become a nightmare for me since the start of the new academic year.
"Can we go? I'm not feeling well" I tried to attract the concern of my brother while seeing them enter, but I only got him to observe me for a few seconds, enough time for them to approach us.
"Hey, look who's here, Mya Matthews" Nick pointed to me while I ducked my head without bothering to look at them. "It's been a while since you came here, you know, since your space boyfriend died" he said getting that the rest of the group laughed, making me clench my fists with force. "Poor thing ... He died with the rest of his kind, maybe he was as bad as them" he spoke with a smile on his face.
"I have no idea who you are supposed to be, but leave her alone" my brother was the first to react, getting up from the chair as he was talking. "Leave my sister alone" he warned, but without achieving his purpose .
"Or what?" Nick asked, challenging him, which made me get up too, staring at my brother.
"No, please," I begged shortly before running to the exit, wanting to run away, being alone for a few minutes, maybe hours, so I did not stop when my brother called my name.
When I found myself a little further away, after making sure I was not seen, I dared to fly, this being my first time without Kara, with no one who could help me if I failed, although my only intention was to get to my brother's apartment. I entered through the living room window, the only one that was open, before locking myself in the room and starting to cry almost without being able to avoid it.
The first days of class had been the worst, I could not deny it, but over time I had learned to live with it, to ignore them, releasing all my anger with those cuts in my hand.
I heard the apartment door open shortly before hearing my brother's footsteps approaching the door of the room, making an attempt to open it, but calling repeatedly when he realized he was not going to get it.
"Mya, I know you're inside, please open the door" he asked, but I did not move at all.
It only cost him a few more struggles so that he could open it, causing me to turn around to avoid looking at his face, cuddling up on myself as I continued to tear myself to pieces. I felt his hand on my shoulder as if he expected me to look at him, but, honestly, I could not do it.
"Since when has this been happening?" he asked stroking my hair, looking for a way to calm me down.
"Since the year began," I replied in barely a whisper.
"Does Kara know?" He asked making me shake my head, nobody knew. "Why?" He questioned alarmed.
"She has enough to add her my problems," I muttered knowing he was beginning to get angry, although I was not sure if it was with me or what was happening in general.
"Do you really believe that? For the gods, Mya, you should have asked for help" he made me turn to him. "You still have time to do it" he lifted my chin to look me straight in the eye, but I shook my head. "They are hurting you day after day, it can't stay like this, tomorrow we will talk to the Principal" he assured me making me start breathing with agitation.
"You are going to complicate things more, Mon-el" I complained wanting him to leave the subject there, but he did not. "Please, let it be" I begged him.
"No, Mya, I can't let it be" he denied the idea. "I'm sorry, but we have to do something about it" he got up from the bed.
"Mon-el, do not do it" I got up too.
My brother stopped in his tracks, sighing heavily as if pondering something before turning to me and watching me for a few seconds.
"Do you know what?" He looked at me seriously. "I'm tired of doing what you want me to do, Mya, you haven't stopped being a spoiled princess that you think that with crying a little you solve everything, but it's not like that, sometimes you have to fight" the tears were even more present when I hear him say that. "Continue crying, maybe you'll get something" he turned to leave the room, closing the door.
I lay down on the bed without bothering to dry my tears, closing my eyes with the sole intention of evading everything that was happening.
""Mya, no!" Her older brother shouted behind her after seeing her move forward, but she did not stop. "Mya!" he shouted again, but again, he could not stop the child..
The six-year-old girl had only one goal in mind and, despite what happened a few weeks ago and her father's prohibition for her not to go there, she did not fulfill it. She wanted to get to where her brother's precious dragon was, because there were many times she had heard about him, but they had never given her the opportunity to see it.
She stopped at the moment she stood in front of it, admiring the dimensions of that being who had just turned its head to watch her with its two big eyes, a fact that intimidated her enough, making her feel completely tiny by its side. Still, she admired it, fascinated to discover the beautiful color of its abdomen, completely golden, scales that stood out under that dark blue of the others. She had to admit it, Saffire was the most beautiful dragon she had ever seen.
"Mya" the voice of her brother echoed again in her ears, feeling as he placed his hand on her shoulder, but she could not turn, because she did not want to break the connection with that wonderful fantasy being. "You know you can not be here" he turned her towards him.
"I wanted to see Saffire" explained the kid looking at him with her two big blue eyes, but, although other times they had been a weakness, today was not going to be the case, not when he knew that his father would not hesitate to scold him.
"You have to go" he pointed to the door, which only managed to increase the pout of his younger sister. "No, go" he asked again, rather demanded, wanting to divert his gaze. "I'm tired of being scolded because of you, Mya." He grabbed her chin. "You think that with pouting you solve everything, you're daddy's little girl and he will do everything you tell him, but I don't" he pointed to himself. "My life was much better without you, everyone's, you shouldn't have been born" he let her go.
The words were hard for a girl of only six years, who did not understand all its meaning, but even so, she did not hesitate to run away from him, because after all it was what his brother wanted."
I opened my eyes breathing with agitation at that memory, hurt by the words he said to me that day, knowing he was angry, but even so, that was not enough excuse for his words.
"I don't want to talk, Imra" I noticed when the door of the room opened, but she did not know stopped, she continued walking.
"I don't need you to do it, I just need you to listen to me" she smiled sitting on the edge of the bed, which made me look at her before drying the tears that were still running down my cheeks. "I know it can be hard to admit that you need help" she started talking.
"But I don't, I can do it" I interrupted her.
"I know, you're strong" she commented with a slight smile. "But sometimes you need to open up to the rest of people who love you" she looked at me, but this time I did not interrupt her in her words. "Your brother wants to protect you of everything that can hurt you and yes, his words haven't been adequate, but he didn't intend to give it that meaning," she explained, speaking again when she realized I was going to reply. "Don't lose the relationship you have with him, Mya, you need each other" she dared to put my hair behind my ear. "Don't think I didn't scold him too" she said making me laugh lightly.
"I don't want to talk to him now, but I will" I assured watching her smile.
"I suppose you'll stay here" she said while I nodded. "In that case, try to rest, Mya" she stroked one last time my hair before getting up and leaving.
I closed my eyes again the moment she closed the door, in a way more relaxed than before, giving a chance at her request, maybe I should talk to him tomorrow.
Thanks for reading,
Ayrin