Author's Note: Thank you to my readers for liking my story, even though its kinda weird and personal. Please share and comment. I would love the feedback!

A loud rapping on the door pulled Bucky out of what could only be described as an intense, deep waiting state. He had slept some, but didn't dream that much. Most of the night he had lain on the couch with his eyes closed and the dog on this chest. He had been concentrating on trying not to think too much. His thoughts went, places... He was focused on staying free of thought and enjoying the warmth of the dog and on breathing. But the sound of someone knocking to be let in caused him to jolt upright, sweat pouring down his face as he wriggled out from under the dog and onto the floor.

"It's just Nat," came a voice from the other side of the door. He knew that it was her, but he continued to hyperventilate on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. The dog quickly took action, getting back on top of Buck and licking at his face to calm the soldier down. Bucky didn't even try to stop her, he just allowed Sasha to lick him until his breathing slowed. He then looked directly into the dog's eyes. "Good job," he murmured, scratching her ears with his mechanical hand while pushing her off of his chest with his flesh arm.

"Is everything okay in there? I have a key so I can just come right in," said Natasha from the other side of the door, tentatively.

"That's fine," said Bucky, slowly pulling himself up using the coffee table. "Come on in."

The door clicked and opened, and Natasha walked in, keeping her hands were Bucky could see them and her eyes level with his.

"Hey, take it easy there soldier," she said with a wry smile, "This isn't a training exercise or a drill."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, but then shook his head, deciding that Nat's teasing was just a way of making him feel more comfortable. They stood there in awkward silence for another moment, and then Bucky pointed at the dog and said, "she is quite effective at her job."

"Yeah, Sasha was trained by a soldier with PTSD, so she's prepared for anything," she said, giving Sasha a pat before heading toward the kitchen and adding, "I'm gonna get breakfast started. Want some coffee?"

Bucky stood for a moment thinking about the word PTSD, unfamiliar with the terminology. But then shook his head and quickly answered, "I'm currently nursing a seventy-plus year caffeine headache. Yeah, I'd love some."

At this Nat begun working on the coffee while Bucky watched, until she pulled out a pot and asked him to fill it with water. He obliged and then set the pot on the stove, and Nat added several scoops of oatmeal into the water. She then poured two big mugs of coffee and Bucky followed her to the table, where he basically inhaled his, and then promptly poured himself a second cup.

"Whoa, you weren't exaggerating," observed the red head with a raised eyebrow, almost impressed.

"I don't exaggerate," stated Bucky flatly. Before he took another sip and then frowned, asking hesitantly, "what is PTSD?"

"Shell shock, basically," clarified Nat, remembering that Bucky wouldn't have known the modern terminology. "It stands for post traumatic stress disorder."

Bucky mouthed these words as Natasha continued to explain. "It describes the condition when its not combat related, it turns out one's nerves can be pushed near or over the breaking point by things other than bullets. So that term is meant to describe anyone who suffers from a certain perimeter of symptoms due to a traumatic event." At this she got up to attend to the oatmeal, adding sugar, salt, and some raisins as Bucky thought about this. She then promptly set a bowl and a spoon in front of him, sitting down and tucking into hers

He tentatively tasted the bowl in front of him, eating slowly as if thinking about every bite.

"Better than dog food, isn't it?" asked Nat bluntly, locking eyes with the Soldier before looking away, sadly. "I told Stark you had a sensitive stomach. The food you found last night was his version of 'simple.' I had to show him the footage of what you did with that meal to get him to cancel having a full breakfast sent up here."

Bucky breathed before he answered, taking another slow bite before answering, embarrassed, "I ate food pellets, sometimes soups. Even a beet or two if I was lucky."

"Oh, well I have to make you my famous borscht, then," she responded with a smile. Then she said flatly, "don't be embarrassed, I once ate the raw kidneys of a dog that died while we were stranded in the Siberian Wilderness." She shuddered at this, as if remembering the dog sadly. "You're not the only one who's done extreme things to survive, or to cope."

The two of them finished their meal in silence. It seemed to take forever to eat. Swallowing something as substantial as oatmeal was difficult for Bucky, who looked almost pained by the act of eating by the time he finished his. Nat got up to put the dishes in the sink, but Bucky sat there slumped in his seat, unmoving as he asked, "did you see what I did after I ate?"

"Yes," said Natasha simply, scrubbing the bowls with a sponge.

"Small spaces, sterile... I..." Bucky couldn't speak, and Sasha sat up at attention at his demeanor, paying close attention to his nonverbal cues. Natasha put down the bowl and walked over to Buck, and placed a hand above his knee but not making contact, unsure how he would respond. "I know. I should have showed you last night. The bathroom has been modified to be more... welcoming, than I think you're thinking."

Bucky just gave her a confused look, but the redhead simply walked over to the bathroom and opened the door. The room on the other side had a floor that was carpeted except for up to a foot in width of tile around the toilet and the bathtub/shower. The bathtub was wide and round, big enough to be used as a jacuzzi. The wall the tub was connected to was made of glass, so that Bucky could see outside. It seemed spacious, beautiful, even.

"Did you?" asked Buck, almost afraid to ask.

"Yeah, I insisted on these quarters because I knew you wouldn't be okay with normal bathrooms. And before you ask, that glass is tinted on the other side, so that no one can see in."

"Oh my god," murmured Buck, getting up and hugging Natasha, who allowed him, awkwardly.

"No problem," she said, returning the hug and then stepping away.

I"m gonna..." begun Buck, and Nat quickly added, "of course, take as much time as you need to get cleaned up. Besides, that coffee should be taking affect on your bowels in ways that only coffee does any minute now."

When Bucky emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, he seemed a bit more relaxed. He was wearing a clean pair of pants and a white t-shirt, and he had shaven his face. There was a nick or two on his face that were healing quickly, and he seemed to have let out a breath he had been holding the whole time that he had been there.

"Good shower," asked Nat, sitting on the couch and petting Sasha, absentmindedly.

Bucky nodded, and then, looking away, said, "please don't knock. Just come right in. It will make me less nervous."

Nat raised an eyebrow but didn't object, and then said, "You have an appointment today with Dr. Helen Cho. Her research has been on HYDRA's enhanced humans, helping them, specifically. She can address any lingering medical conditions that you might have. You also have a psychiatrist appointment later.

I... um," Bucky bit his lip, not making eye contact with Nat at the thought of meeting any doctors. Reading his thoughts, Natasha said, "the physical can take place here instead of in her office. Its all arranged. You can even have Steve skype in on the appointment."

At this Bucky perked up, interested in talking to Steve, but not knowing what 'Skyp' was.

"Its like a phone call where you can talk through a computer screen so you can see each other in real time," explained Nat. "He can't skype in for the psychiatry appointment, but that's just a doctor who talks to you about your mental state. "

Bucky looked like he wanted to shake, but Nat quickly got up and led him to the book shelf, showing him some books from his era as well as some movies, old and new. This got Bucky to relax and refocus, anxious to enjoy some of what he had missed. Eventually, he picked a movie, The Graduate.

He settled on the couch with Nat, calmly watching the movie, anxious and excited about what was to come, Sasha settled in his lap, at the ready to protect him. He turned to Natasha as the movie's opening credits started to play, and simply said, "thank you." He meant it, too.