Disclaimer: The Hunger Games Trilogy is property of Suzanne Collins. This is a parody fanwork by fans for fans. No money was made off of the creation of this fanwork.
Show Me the Way to Go Home
by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre
oOo
Theme: 30: Relief
Words: 1342
Summary: Peeta had no intention of staying in the Capitol. Unfortunately, someone else has a different idea.
oOo
"I heard you want to go back to Twelve. Are you sure that's a wise idea?"
Peeta looked up from the ragged mess of his fingernails to see President Paylor leaning forward on her desk, her head balanced on one hand. It was an artful pose, designed to make the person seated across from her more comfortable. Make him more comfortable.
It wasn't working.
His eyes returned to their previous task. "It's probably not wise, but it's what I want."
"I'm not sure I believe you, Mr. Mellark."
"Peeta," he said quickly, trying to repress a shudder. The words 'Mr. Mellark' dredged up nightmares filled with reptilian eyes and blood red lips.
"Okay, Peeta. I'm still not sure I believe you." Her tone was gentle, like the kind you'd use with a wounded animal. So many people used it around him.
He hated it.
"Why don't you believe it?"
"Because I've seen the tapes of your nightmares, and I've read the transcripts of your sessions with Dr. Aurelius. I've also read Snow's notes on what he did to you."
There was an offer in her tone, an implication that she'd tell him exactly what the Capitol did to him if he'd just ask.
He wasn't going to ask. He didn't need to know the specifics. Knowing the specifics wasn't going to magically make him better. And it might make him worse.
Instead he shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I want to go home. To Twelve. There are no good memories for me here or in Thirteen."
"I could send you to Four. Mrs. Odair has expressed a willingness to host you."
Annie. Sweet, not-entirely-sane Annie. He knew what her screams sounded like, and she knew his. It wasn't a good basis for healing. Too many memories. Too many nightmares. "Thanks but no. She's got an infant to take care of. She doesn't need to be taking care of a hijacked nineteen-year-old too."
"She wouldn't be doing it alone. Violet Everdeen is also in Four."
"That just makes it worse." He didn't bother to elaborate.
To her credit, Paylor didn't push. Instead she changed tracks. "If Four is a nonstarter, have you considered Seven? I'm sure Johanna Mason would be happy for the company."
A chuckle. "You don't know Johanna very well, do you? I'm the last person she'd want in Seven. I'd be just another reminder of the torture she experienced in the Capitol." He shook his head, pulling at his thumbnail. "She needs healing, not triggers."
"One could say the same for you." The wounded animal voice was back.
Taking a deep breath, he met the president's eyes. "Everything's a trigger. Sights. Sounds. Smells. It doesn't matter. The Capitol screwed me up. The least the Rebellion can do to honor all of my sacrifices is to let me go home." He'd heard that phrase so often - honor all of your sacrifices - that it felt hollow. He knew it came out in his voice.
Paylor sighed and leaned back in her chair. The approachable demeanor slid away; in its place the mantle of leadership slipped over her. It was a truer image, one Peeta was willing to believe. "You know I can't send you back right away."
"I know."
"You're not ready."
"I know."
"You may never be ready."
He cocked his head. "Isn't that up to Dr. Aurelius to decide?"
"In part," she conceded. "But it is also my decision. I can't send anyone to Twelve who might damage the Mockingjay. That includes both physical and mental damage."
His gaze dropped to his hands again. "I would never hurt Katniss." The words were low. Mumbled. His fingers played with the roughened edges of his nails. A strip of skin came loose from the side of his nail. He tugged at it.
"You can't guarantee that."
"I broke that programming."
"I know. And I applaud your strength for that. But that isn't what I was referring to."
She didn't have to explain further. Peeta knew she was talking about Katniss's mental state. Katniss who had tried to kill herself after assassinating Coin. His fingers traced the half moon marks on his right hand. Indentations from where her teeth had drawn blood trying to get to the nightlock pill in her uniform. He'd stopped her then. He could and would do it again.
"She needs me." He met Paylor's gaze again. "And I need her." He said the words with a conviction he didn't truly feel, but that he wanted to feel.
"That's not up to you." She leaned forward, resting her hands on the desk. "But I can talk it over with Haymitch and Dr. Aurelius."
"Haymitch?"
"He's keeping an eye on Katniss for us. Sending us steady reports."
Peeta's eyebrows rose. "Haymitch sends reports?" That didn't match the image of the drunken mentor he had in his head.
A half smile. "They're a little terse, but they get the point across."
"I see."
"We are also monitoring the Mockingjay's house. The Capitol's surveillance equipment is still intact. Dr. Aurelius's observations match Haymitch's reports."
A wash of anger flooded through Peeta's body. He clenched his fists over and over again as he struggled to keep himself from lashing out at the president's revelation.
"I want the surveillance removed."
"No."
The ragged nails dug into the palms of his hands so hard that he could feel the warm wetness welling up within. He concentrated on the pain, the hurt. Throttling the president wouldn't help his case. "What you're doing is no better than the Capitol," he said in a low tone. A carefully controlled tone. The same tone he'd used when trying to convince the Capitol to cancel the Quell. "Spying on your citizens. It's wrong. It's immoral. It goes against everything the rebellion fought and died for. And I won't stand for it."
Paylor shook her head, a hint of a wistful smile playing about her lips. "You misunderstand, Mr. Mellark. The surveillance is for the Mockingjay's benefit. It's there to let us know if she attempts any self-harm, as well as keep us apprised as to her mental state. When she's healed enough that we feel she will not cause harm to herself or others, we will remove the devices."
"I don't believe you." And he didn't. It was contrary to Panem's best interest and, in his experience, governments never did anything to go against their own interests.
"Each of the Victors' houses was outfitted with an incredible array of surveillance equipment. We've removed the equipment from all but two of the houses."
"Haymitch and Katniss." It wasn't a question.
"No," she said in a kind voice. "The Mockingjay's and yours."
Peeta sat back, staring at her. After a moment, he said, "You knew I'd ask to go back to Twelve."
"I anticipated it." She resumed her 'trust me' pose. "I want what's best for Panem, Peeta. All of Panem. And you're part of that. What Snow and Coin did to you two was unconscionable. You didn't deserve to be a pawn in their games, and Panem owes you and Katniss a debt it cannot repay."
"So let me go home."
"If that's what you want, if that's what you really and truly want, I'll sign the papers. But I need some assurance that sending you to Twelve won't make things worse, for you and for Katniss."
"So what can I do to convince you?"
"What you've been doing. Concentrate on yourself, on your health."
"And Katniss?"
"Isn't your problem right now. Although, if you could persuade her to actually talk to Dr. Aurelius, it'd go a long way."
"What makes you think she'll pick up the phone for me?"
"I don't think she'll pick up the phone for anyone." A smile ghosted across Paylor's lips. "I expect you'll tell her in person when you return home."
He finally relaxed, breathing deeply. "Home. I really like the sound of that."
"Then focus on getting better. And I'll do what I can to make it a reality."
He could do that.
oOo
AN:
Written: 4/26/18
Revised: 5/31/18
More randomization! Paylor popped up again, so...consider this a sequel to the Gale and Paylor fic? As well as the sequel to the Mrs. Everdeen and Paylor fic. This is kind of turning into a series. Oops? Oh well. Paylor is an underutilized character anyway and it's not like she has a ton of personality other than she didn't like Katniss terribly much in Eight and somehow kept getting promoted until she became President of Panem after the rebellion.
As for Peeta, well… there had to be a reason why he stayed in the Capitol for as long as he did. By making it about both Katniss' and Peeta's mental state it removes the onus from both of them. Essentially, Paylor isn't going to sacrifice one for the other. She wants both of them. Because she ships Everlark… because who doesn't ship Everlark?
Are there any other Paylor scenes you'd like to see? Let us know in the comments!
You can get more information about our original writing here:
Website: RoseLarkPublishing
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