Author's Note:

NSFW content and fluff in great dosage. Please only read if you are above the age you are able to handle mature content of slightly and a bit more openly sexual topics and the hinting of them. It won't be too explicit, but better to be safe than sorry. Thank you! Enjoy.

Juti's POV

Honeymoon isn't called honeymoon for nothing after all.

This time of the marriage, right after the wedding, supposed to be the happiest for the couple, where they can get to know each other and spend so much sweet time together, and taste how love works. And this most certainly happened to us, especially after the night we spent with dancing together. Erik suddenly, holding me in his arms for a longer time and dancing with me in front of others, without any catastrophes happening, felt more comfortable and wanted more of intimacy.

Something seemed to change in him, some kind of inhibition finally broke, which was very hard for him to overcome. Even in public, he finally hugged me closer when we were walking, he cuddled up against me on a train without closing all of the curtains, and he loved to hold my hand when we weren't just the two of us. It bothered me before, to tell the truth, that Erik only took my hand and hugged me when we weren't among other people. I knew it was rude by Victorian morals to kiss in public even for a couple, but Erik treated me as his niece or something like that, only guiding me by ceremoniously holding my arm on the streets. Young married couples openly hugged and you could easily identify a husband/wife relationship with others – we did not so far, so I think, nobody thought us to be married just seeing us on the streets, walking together.

And when it was just the two of us, things changed to the better as well. Cuddling lasted longer, and he wasn't as passive as he used to be before, he did not only just let me snuggle up to his side, but he started petting my side, my back and kissed me repeatedly, and these slowly but steady turned to making out on the bed for some long minutes, filled with passionate kissing and petting each other more freely. I was allowed to pet his face more, and he showed me endless trust by letting me touch the area where his nose should have been. Of course, I was extremely careful, petting the edge of the hole with my finger, and thankfully it did not disgust him as it used to before. He was surprised though that I wasn't disgusted of it either and by the fact I wanted to touch it at all. He allowed me more things than before, I was allowed to sit on his lap for much longer periods of time and it did not bother him any more if I put my head on his lap , he started stroking my hair and ear absently if I did so. Earlier he would ask me not to do that. I felt now that he was indeed my husband, and he started to see me as a woman, finally, not only his cute little daughter he accidentally married. I did not wish to rush anything, but I was happy our relationship arrived to a new level.

It was time to make him a bit less bashful about his appearance and I wanted him to feel more comfortable in front of me, so I decided I won't be so bashful either, maybe it will help both him and me to relax about intimacy. Now that we felt relaxed with each other dressed up, it was time to remove some clothing. Nothing serious at first, or at least, not by my standards. By Victorian morals, of course, I'd be described as a whore if I stepped out of the house like that, but I only kept this appearance for Erik. I stopped wearing socks at home. I know, I know, there was a time at the House by the lake when I did so as well, but the main difference was I was wearing long pants which covered most of the sight anyway, and Erik would always warn me to put on sock or he forced slippers on me at least. Yes, it was underground with chillier weathers… but now in late summer- early Autumn I could at least pretend it was because of the hot weather. To make matters worse, I either wore breeches or in a dress I sat like he could see my legs. Showing ankles used to be his problem at the first time we talked after my illness? Well, now he can be thankful if I only show my knees!

Seemingly, he was surprised at first, but he did not start his mini rant about morals of XXI th century girls, and did not ask or order me to put on some decent clothing in his presence. On the contrary. A few days later I noticed he unbuttoned his shirt at his neck and rolled up his sleeves on both hands. I giggled and winked at him, sending the message I noticed and approved of his behavior.

- If you are undressing, then I guess Erik is allowed to do so too. – He stated half-jokingly.

- Absolutely. – I nodded with a smile.

I have never seen Erik's uncovered arms before. Even if he was in sleepwear he wore long sleeved nightshirt or PJS, so it was the first time I could see his skin had numerous scratch marks on his arm as well, and some marks indicated wrongly healed burns. There were some healed cuts on his right arm, dangerously close to his wrist, and by the angle of the position I was sure they weren't caused by an opponent. As he was a leftie, I knew they were caused by him.

- Nice, eh? – He shook his head with a small snort, knowing exactly what caught my eye. – Well, this is one reason why Erik did not roll up his sleeves in front of Juti yet. Disgusting sight, is it?

- No. – I put my hand on his shoulder. – Rather sad. Why?

- Life. – He replied. – Life leaves marks on an unlucky fellow as I used to be.

- Does it hurt? – I pointed at a rather nasty one, which seemed to be like a deep cut on his left, but as it was huge I doubted it was caused by a simple knife.

- Physically, not anymore. – He stated.

- I kiss it better. – I said with determination, leaning to his arm and kissing the scar.

He could not believe his eyes that I was able to kiss that spot, it really looked horrible. I think he felt like I will never accept all of his deformities or unappealing traits, no matter for how long I will be his wife, and that my eyes shall never ever meet the sight of all of his body. Seeing the huge amount of doubt in his eyes, I felt it was time to kiss it better emotionally as well.

- I love you. – I stated, leaning close to his face, looking into his eyes. – With all your life and its marks. Never be ashamed of your scars in front of me. Scars are beautiful. They represent a will to heal. A will to heal is awesome.

- I have many- many more of them. – He pointed out seriously. – But… but you always know what to say to make Erik feel better. Thank you.

- This is why I am your wife, to support my little husband.

- Your little husband is the happiest and luckiest of men in the whole world. – He kissed my forehead. – To have you with him.

I thought we were going slowly from that point, just as slow as we were going up until that time, as Erik was so very bashful and socially awkward, I thought the next step will take months, or even a year to accomplish. How wrong I was! On a beautiful September night in Salzburg, after a long day filled with sightseeing and walking in that beautiful city, holding hands, the unimaginable thing happened.

It started innocently enough. Erik carried me to the bed in his arms and put me down, and we started cuddling and kissing, just as any day of the previous week. Yet suddenly I noticed an unknown shine in his beautiful glowing golden eyes I have never ever seen before. It lasted for only a split second, though I knew it was the right way to go, and I got braver. I reached out to pet him, and leaned closer to his ear, kissing it.

- Oh, careful with my ears. – He warned a bit shyly, but I just playfully kissed his ear again. – Careful, please.

- Why? – I asked. – Does it hurt?

- No. – He replied. – I… I like it… I… do like it too much. If you understand what I mean.

- Oh, if I knew it earlier! – I giggled.

- Yes, it is my… weak spot… to call it that.

- Your ears? – I shook my head with a giggle. – It is strange, I did not hear such a thing before.

- I am not sure why it feels good if they are stroked, but… I love that feeling and…

- And why is it a problem?

He did not reply for some moments, looking at me, into my eyes, then absently scratched his ear.

- You are right. – He said seriously. – We are married. Why not?

Some moments still passed in silence, but after he looked at me again, he blushed. He stood up from the bed, pacing around for a time, as I could see, he was extremely embarrassed suddenly.

- I don't mind if we don't do it right now, dear, I was just hinting I'd like it.

I tried to calm him as I did not want him to get too much stressed about my expectations towards him.

- It is all right. – He came back to the bed, leaning closer to me again. His hands were trembling as he leaned closer and looked me in the eye:

- But…are you sure that… oh God… - He turned bright red even by the mere thought, so he covered his face and was peeking at me through his long bony fingers.

- Yes, Erik, I am sure. – I nodded and patted his shoulder reassuringly.

- You want that to happen…?

- Yes. Please.

- Won't you… regret it later?

- Why would I, when I love you?

- It might hurt. – He swallowed nervously. – It can.

- No worries. Please Erik… if you want it, then come and do it to me, I will like it.

- Well… If you are sure… Erik will do his best… but please know I might not be able to do it… for the first try. I am nervous and when I am …. I might not be able to… make it work.

- Relax, Erik, try to concentrate on the good things, will you sweetie?

- All right. – He sputtered and nodded.

He knelt on the side of the bed next to me, yet at first he was clueless of what to do first. He straightened up his shirt collar in his total embarrassment, and I would have loved to laugh at him because of it. He tidies his clothing before undressing, oh the modest little schoolboy. He finally dared to touch me, he caressed my face by two fingers, and kissed my forehead. He then examined my facial expression if I liked it or not. I did, and wished to show him he could be a bit of braver. I really did not want to rush him or force him to make a move, but with this tempo, I think we will be here doing nothing even on the next New Year's Eve. Moreover, this face petting was way too much outdated, we were through this for a long time. I slowly ran my fingers through those few long locks of dark hair that fell down to his shoulders, my fingertips touching his neck. He shuddered. He kissed my cheeks, blushing, then gave a rather long and half braver kiss on the lips. It lasted a bit of longer when he finally closed his eyes and gave himself to the passion. He seemed to be a bit relaxed, and with a relieved sigh he looked at me and smiled.

- Thanks. – He patted my shoulder. – You are sweet. Well… ummm…. So you want to… really…? To… ?

- Yes, Erik, I still want to sleep with you.

He nodded and stood up from the bed.

- Where are you going, sweetie? – I whined a bit playfully. – I miss you.

- I am going to return shortly. – He said. – It is too… light in here. – He explained nervously and turned down the gaslight on the top of the table in the middle of the room. – I am unable to do it… in such a well – lit room. And, I am sorry to ask such a thing of you, but… but would you do Erik a favor?

- Whatever you wish it is granted. – I reassured him.

- All right… please take off your… spectacles… before we do anything.

- Oh, do you want to cover my eyes?

- I am sorry to say that, but maybe I won't need it… with your eyesight… you see… well… ummm…

- Oh I understand. You don't want me to see you clearly.

- Yes. – He whispered. – Will you do that?

- Yes, if you wish.

I removed my glasses and put them on the end table next to me.

- Here, are you satisfied? – I smiled.

- Well, yes… much better. – He said. – Thank you.

- Okay, then come here. – I opened my arms for a hug, but he did not come closer yet.

- Just… a minute. I have to… get rid of my clothing.

- Don't you wish me to help?

- No. – He replied shyly. – I will… do it alone. I always do it… alone. By myself.

- I wish to remove your clothes. – I laughed. – Pleeeease.

- Maybe at another time. – He declined again. – I would not feel comfortable with it right now. I unbutton my pants since the age of two. I don't need help.

- It is not about you needing help, but it is the exciting thing, my Erik, it is like I would unwrap a gift. – I chuckled.

- Well, it will be delivered without package this time. – He did not want to change his mind, sadly. – Take it as a development that I am actually willing to undress. It never happened to me before. – He admitted softly.

- Okay, but will you want to help me at least?

- Oh… if you… wish… yes.

I found it strange Erik never removed his clothes before to have sex, but understandable with his usual shyness. And why to undress when he blindfolds the girl anyway? It was a huge step he did not do it right now. I could not see a thing, thanks to the fact I had to remove my glasses, but I heard some soft metallic knocking sound on the table, and I was sure he just placed the cravat pin and cufflinks there, which were followed by his pocket watch some moments later. Oh he could not help not to check it before putting it down, as I could hear the sound of the lid being opened then closed. He was such a maniac about time. He threw his waistcoat and shirt on a nearby chair and stepped out of his shoes to be able to remove his pants. When he just nervously tossed the pants further on the floor, he quickly, like a spider, climbed back on the bed, and put his trembling hands against the top button of my blouse. I did not wear a tie this time, so the only piece of clothing he had to remove were my shirt, a pair of pants and my underwear. Well, it took him some time, to tell the truth. He was a bit of uncomfortable at first, undressing and touching me. He asked multiple times if I was okay with it, and claimed that "to be touched by death's hands might be extremely disgusting and frightening." I had to calm him many times that I did not want anything more than to be touched by him. Poor Erik really wanted to please me and this fact slowly, really slowly overcame his fears and shyness in the end finally.

I did not get bored however, as he gently gave soft and shorter kisses on my neck and shoulder as he removed my blouse. Finally, a bit of independence. This made me brave enough as I touched his naked back and ran my fingers across his back and ribs, then my hand wandered down to his side and stomach. Though I could not see his body due to poor light and the lack of my glasses, I was able to feel his upper body was full of scars and scabs. Poor dear Erik, he was tortured so much in his life.

- Does it hurt if I pet you here? – I inquired worriedly.

- Not anymore. – He said. – Don't worry, if it is uncomfortable, I will ask you to stop.

He was very- very gentle at first, as he hardly dared to touch my body as it was finally exposed in front of him. I found it a bit of not righteous that he, thanks to his altered vision, could even see colors in the dark, and I did not see anything of his body. But I did not complain as I knew it would only scare Erik away, and I did not want that. Yet, he turned his head away, not to directly look at me for some minutes. We, of course, did not start it right away. Erik is a hopeless romantic, and paid attention to the right, or possibly a bit off too much amount of foreplay. To be honest, I liked this fact, as it could be seen that he did not do it to relieve his own urges only, but for me not to be in pain during the process. He was gently petting my body all over, my side, my breasts, my stomach and back mostly.

Sometimes his hesitant touches tickled me, which made the whole thing more enjoyable.

Suddenly, as I was stroking his hair at the back of his head, and the side of his face, he moved away from my touch though, nervously whispering:

- Don't touch the mask…

Then instantly fell silent, realizing he did not have it on this time. Embarrassedly, he sighed and sat up in bed, penitently looking around.

- Please I am sorry. – He stuttered. – Erik always wears it while… and he lost his mind…

- Calm down sweetie. – I put my hand on his forearm, sitting up slightly, and gently pulled him back to hug me.

Thankfully, after some hugging, he got back into the mood and this little goof did not ruin the activity. Erik gently kissed my forehead and nose, and complimented what a sweet little nose I had. I thanked him, giggling.

- I say so because it is so… you have a very nice little nose. – He touched my sides under my breasts, at both sides. – Do you remember what Erik likes…? – He whispered, so softly it was nearly inaudible.

- Oh, you mean your ears? – I asked naughtily.

- Well… yes… Erik loves it very much if… his ears are petted and massaged… it is a very good feeling for him… really… would you do it to him…? Please…? – His voice turned a bit of higher, and looked into my eyes with a hopeful expression.

- But of course. – I touched and pinched his ear between two of my fingers and massaged it gently in small circles, clockwise. – Like this?

- Yeah – yeah… - He nodded vehemently. – Go on… that's it… - He was licking and kissing my neck, moving down a bit continuously. After a time he went down to the region where I could not reach his ear any longer, but maybe he got brave enough already. Suddenly I chuckled as he licked my belly button. – You like that? – He lifted up his head.

- Yes, it was just a bit of unexpected. – Indeed it was, as he acted like a nervous schoolboy and did not even imagine he could imagine doing something like this in bed.

- Erik is full of surprises. – He said, while I bet, grinning, as I heard from his intonation.

- And I like that about him. Very much so. – I stretched out a bit to reach the back of his head to pet him. He sighed in relief, then climbed a bit up to meet my eye contact. His face came centimeters away from my face and with a shuddering breath, he excitedly and passionately whispered:

- Let me play something beautiful…

- Do you really want to play the violin right now, come on….? – I asked with disappointment.

- No, of course not… - He put his palm on my face gently. – You, my dear. I want to play you.

- Meeee?

- But of course. – He nodded naturally. – You are Erik's most prized and most beautiful instrument.

I smiled. Of course, Erik is an excellent musician and he measures everything by music, even love.

- Well, play your serenade, Maestro. – I caressed his cheek.

- Oh thank you for calling me Maestro, it is an honor.

He really touched me the way he would touch a violin or a guitar, he was petting me everywhere, even at places he did not dare to touch yet. I became braver as well, and touched him everywhere. He finally relaxed about being touched, though sometimes he put my hand away if I wanted to touch him on more sensitive areas, saying "Please not yet", but all in all, he was enjoying the petting, and I heard him starting to hum something. I wasn't sure he knew about it. Erik would hum something many times not even knowing he was singing. We petted each other for a long time, and we kissed. When I wanted to playfully scratch his back though, he politely but firmly asked me to stop. He did not do anything to me I did not like, he was trying his limits though, and always warned me nervously before doing something to tell him if I wanted him to stop. He even kissed my feet and sucked on my toes. It was funny, but still good. I kissed and licked his ears, as I knew now that it was his weak spot. Also the back of his neck was very sensitive, and he loved if I touched his inner thigh. He could not help, but gave out some small whimpering sounds if I touched him somewhere he liked, and I did the same. We were in a strange little harmony already. And he nearly drove me crazy when with his fast pianist fingers, he started to tease me with his index and middle finger, just like he was playing a trill on the piano. This made me give out a loud moan and he grinned.

- Oh finally. – He stated. – It is hard to make you sound like this. But it worth.

I half chuckled, half cried out in pleasure as he continued to play.

Suddenly Erik got above me, halfway laying on top of me.

- Here we go. – He stated. – Now I am… capable of it… finally. It took long I daresay.

- Don't worry, dear, we did not hurry anywhere.

- Erik is growing old. – He sighed. – Well, one more time I ask: are you sure?

- I am. – I nodded. I wondered if it will hurt or not, and closed my eyes to be able to concentrate on something else if it does. I read in books that it only causes moderate pain for a moment. I handle pain well. I felt nothing for a time though. I wondered if he was already done and I felt nothing, or he did not start it yet. My body ached for him and I did not get why he did not start it yet. Did he change his mind? Will he stop just now?

- What are you up to? – I opened my eyes and lifted my head up. Erik was on the other side of the bed, doing something I could not see.

- Taking care of my children.

- What?

- Not to have them.

- Wow, you don't say condoms are a thing yet!

- They are. – He groaned. – But don't bother me please I need to concentrate.

I smiled at his grumpiness because I found out about his protection. I was at least happy that he did not chose the "I stop before it is too late" method. It was worse than Russian roulette. Yet I did not know if it will affect the way he feels things.

- Erik, does it bother you if you wear it…? I mean if you would remove it, it would be more comfortable maybe…?

- Erik always takes care. I don't wish to father a child. Sorry about that. – He turned back to me and gently pushed me down to the bed. He got on top of me again, and carefully tried to position himself. – Well… tell me if it hurts… as I will stop then. Erik will be careful, fast and gentle.

He put his hands on my shoulders and passionately kissed me on the lips. He tried his best to find the right position for himself, but before he could do anything, he moaned out loud and then nothing happened for a time. Was he in pain?

- Erik…? – I called out as he did not move for some seconds and closed his eyes.

He sighed in annoyance and got off of me with a frustrated little snort.

- God damn it.

- Erik what is wrong? – I asked, not getting what his problem might be.

- Finished early. – He muttered shamefully.

Oh… so he was indeed fast, just as he promised. TOO fast it seems. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to me, with a tired sigh.

- It happens. I am sorry. – He added, not looking at me.

- I am not mad, Erik. – I sat up, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. – Do you want to try again? Or not?

- So… do you not think I… failed?

- No. Let's consider it as a… rehearsal. What about this? – I kissed the back of his neck.

- Well… all right. – He slowly turned to me again. – We try.

Soon we were hugging and kissing again, teasing each other.

The second act came faster than the first, as Erik was already aroused. He tried again to get inside me and he was successful. It wasn't painful as I imagined it to be, it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but it felt good in general, and Erik chose a lighter tempo for starting.

- Did it hurt? – He asked with worry.

- No, not at all. – I caressed his hair out of his forehead.

- Good then. – He finally relaxed, knowing I wasn't in pain. – Will this pace be good for you at first? – He asked, moaning a bit.

- Yes, dear, go on.

- Good, but tell me if you… want me to stop. – He kept going on in the same tempo and I tried to move in the same rhythm with him. He seemed to like it, but not the fact I stopped giving out noises. This fact made him move deeper and as it still wasn't successful, he reached between us with one hand and played the piano on me yet again. Well this gave me enough pleasure to whimper again. – Good, that's what I like. – Erik kissed my neck. – An instrument makes sounds! It is your JOB!

My voice made him relax more and concentrate on his own pleasures, as he started breathing faster and he again sang something softly. It was nearly inaudible, but I could hear some of the melody which resembled a march. He gave smaller kisses on my forehead neck, shoulders and breast, and seemed to get tired of the earlier tempo as he stated in French, rather to himself than me:

- Eh allons, allons…

He really went faster, and his fingers moved faster as well, on my stomach, causing me not only whimper, but moan louder. He nodded in agreement and delight, finally being comfortable enough to let his moans escape too. His current voice did not resemble his usual tone, it was much higher and somewhat softer. He nearly slipped into soprano sometimes, which made me grin. He breathed faster and faster, he sang fewer, yet he moaned or sighed more. With his breathing, the pace of the lovemaking got faster and faster too, which stimulated me to my breaking point. He suddenly got a bit slower.

- P…p…presque…! – Erik stated, wheezing.

It was funny how he mixed languages now, totally losing control of himself, now he could only speak French. He just said "almost", which indicated he had not much time left.

He returned to the faster tempo a bit, but he was only able to keep it up for a few seconds as he abruptly stopped moving and grabbed my side. A bit of strongly he did grab me in his ecstasy, but it did not hurt me too much. He cried out, shuddered and his muscles stiffened as he could not enhance his pleasure, and slowly but steady his breathing slowed down, and put his head on my chest.

- Szeretlek. – He sighed in his final relax. It touched my heart that he found it important to confess his love for me in Hungarian in this moment of complete euphoria. Oh he is so sweet!

- Én is szeretlek, Erik. – I replied smiling affectionately, stroking his hair.

I suddenly sensed he was crying softly, hugging me.

- E… Erik what is wrong? Why are you crying? – I gasped.

- Nothing… nothing dear… - He sniffed. – You are the best instrument I have ever… had the fortune to play…

With this sentence he climbed up to meet the level of my face, and he showered me with kisses of affection and adoration, his tears flowing on my neck and face.

Erik's diary

18th September, 1882

What a night… what a sweet and beautiful night it was!

I never dared to imagine I was able to experience and learn something more about intimacy. I thought I knew the things I needed to know already, and I thought I did not even like this activity. I thought… it was just a necessary bad act to keep men from going crazy with lust from time to time, while doing the emotionally emptiest thing on the whole world.

It was so predictable and mechanical every time I visited those women before, I could have cried from the emptiness it left in my soul. The usual damned routine!

Bonsoir, Mademoiselle, I would like to use you tonight! Ask nothing about the mask. It is just what I like. Tie their hands, blindfold them, don't touch the mask, I repeat do not touch it, bend over, fine, enough. I did my business and felt nothing, only needed to tell them how they were mine and how I owned all of them, to show dominance. I did not even remove anything which wasn't necessary to remove. Paid, thank you. Au revoir.

I hated it. I wasn't even sure why people loved to do it so much, as seemingly anyone else liked it other than me. The only thing I felt with the slight relief was shame, disgust, self- loathing and emotional emptiness.

Up until now.

I know why I kept procrastinating it with Juti. I expected the same empty and disgusting happenings with her too, but I had to disappoint in a positive way, about many things. I never thought of the possibility, that I, as a 50 year-old "experienced" man, who had his first time in his twenties, can learn things from a girl who was clearly a virgin. I know she did not lie to me about it. She hardly dared to move and clearly she did not experience the happenings. I saw she was yet unsure and bashful a bit, though it was her, the tutor this time.

Now I learned it is not always a failure what I think it is, Juti was so understanding and supportive and sweet, I did not dare to think someone would be so kind to me about this subject. I was afraid even she will be grossed out by my body, but she touched my bare skin! She touched me as God created me, and she did not die! And did not say "ugh what scars" or "how cold you are, ew"…

Any other women I had sex with were just doing their jobs for money.

This was not emotionally empty! On the contrary! And… I finally considered someone else's feelings… I felt that I finally had a PARTNER and not just a body I used for my pleasures. It was the first time I cared if I cause pain or not.

It was the most beautiful music I have ever played… even though she is too silent as an instrument. Erik has to find out a way to make her sound as she is supposed to sound, and Erik wasn't called the Angel of Music for nothing! He will learn how to play Juti, as he learned how to play every single instrument of the world. And Erik loves challenges.

I will show you, my darling, what a musician Erik is… keep being prepared of the Magnum Opus, my love!