Disclaimer: I don't own any of Harry Potter (though I'd love to get a piece of Daniel Radcliffe, mm-mm). I will also admit to being heavily influenced by TLAT and other fics when writing this chapter.

Chapter 14

or

Of Old Mistakes

(Part 1)

"I'm so, so sorry, Sirius," said James, sitting down next to him on the bed. "At least she's still alive, though."

"She ran away," he said, and though they could all tell he was faking it, he tried to sound unaffected. "With a Muggleborn, and now I won't be able to see her. She'll be gone from my life. I won't see her ever again as far as my mother's concerned. You've read the letter."

"Sirius," sighed Remus, leaning on the bedframe and trying his best to find something to say, something that could make this better, somehow. Andromeda was one of the only two relatives Sirius could stand, and his uncle Alphard was so old, he wasn't much in the way of conversation. And as long as he lived in that house – something he had no control over, at least for the next couple years – he wouldn't be able to see her. Communication via letters was probably still an option, but they'd have to be careful, something Remus knew very well Sirius struggled with. "You'll be alright," he said finally. "Your mother doesn't control every aspect of your life."

"Cheer up, Padfoot," said James. "Moony's right. You'll see her again. And in the meantime, there's always owl post, and besides – "

"Tomorrow's the full moon," supplied Peter helpfully. "That's always fun." Remus glared at him and Peter hurried to add, "you know what I mean. We get to let loose a little bit. I didn't mean – "

"I know what you mean," said Remus, interrupting Peter's ramble. "I can't – I mean, I hate to admit it, but Wormtail's right. Tomorrow's the full moon. We've – I mean, the plan is pretty cool – and I think that – " Remus blushed, still struggling for words. He was still torn about the whole thing. Having them accompany him – it was odd, dangerous, wrong – yet it was also amazing.

"Yeah, tomorrow's the full moon," Sirius said, grinning suddenly. "You know what? You guys go ahead to class. I'll see you later."

And unsuspecting, they did, unfazed by his sudden cheerfulness. Sirius was known for his mood swings.

Sirius was not known for being late. It's true, every once in a while he was tardy – especially before potions, which had become a tradition after a while, and Slughorn was rather forgiving. It was as if they both relished in the attention. But he always arrived only a minute or two late, never anything serious, and he was never late for a full-moon before.

"Moony, it's fine, just – go. We'll join you once he arrives."

Remus could see the worriedness on James' face. Something was wrong. But he also had a point, and Remus really did need to get to the Shack before nightfall.

"Later, guys," he said, waving once in a polite, yet nonchalant, goodbye.

"Hello," said a soft, hesitant, familiar voice.

It was morning. He could tell not because of the light, which was blinding, but because of the warmth that was enveloping him, the warmth that felt so wrong, so out-of-place with his memories from last night.

Last night.

He groaned at the pain of suddenly sitting up, his head dizzy, his stomach clawed more than usual – wait, were those scratches? No, he realized. It all hit him at once, the smell, the curses, the frightened look of a boy with greasy hair…

But how did he get in? How did he know to –

Did he kill him? He didn't remember killing him, but his memory was usually fuzzy immediately after waking up. No, wait, somebody else came and saved him – he looked familiar – his scent was familiar – James Potter had saved Severus Snape.

The realization hit him suddenly, painfully. Who knew that would happen?

"Moony, are you okay?" The voice – to his left, the voice was to his left – sounded even more concerned, smaller than it was a second ago, though still familiar. He struggled to find the right word to describe it - mousy. It was mousy. He blinked and saw that it was Peter, sweet, reliable Peter, sitting there by his side and he was so - so reliable, he was always there, every time he woke up, just like Padfoot and Prongs –

"Where are James and Sirius?" he said curtly. There was a gnawing sense in his stomach growing by the second, and it had to do with a hazy memory of Sirius being late and unclear sensation that something had gone so wrong, that James had to save Severus. "Where are James and Sirius?" he repeated, though less sharp than before. "What happened? Peter, what happened?"

Peter couldn't seem to find any words. Remus had the odd vision of a rat running through a field of mouse traps, and almost had to suppress a giggle.

Now that his eyes didn't hurt so much from the light, and his dizziness was slowly disappearing, Remus had the chance to look around. He found that as usual there was a veil between him and the rest of the world, but if he strained to hear, he could tell there was someone snoring nearby. Who was it? Snape, Snivellus, his friends' enemy, or James, Prongs, his best friend?

Peter seemed to finally find his voice. "Padfoot – Sirius – he was angry, he told Snape how to get in – "

"That's why he was late," Remus said in a small, defeated voice, staring at his feet. "And James saved Snape, because – "

"Because what Sirius did was wrong in every way possible," said James, seemingly appearing from nowhere. He sat down next to Peter – farther away from Remus than Peter was – and slumped his shoulders. "He wasn't only going to kill Sniv – Snape, that is – he was going to harm you, too."

"Sirius said he didn't think of it," said Peter, barely audible.

James snorted, but it wasn't in amusement. "Exactly. He didn't think. Imagine – "

"If I had even touched Snape, I wouldn't be able to attend Hogwarts anymore – hell, I would be in jail by now," Remus said. It had hit him suddenly, like a smack to the cheek, only more painful somehow, like his whole body was in agony. "And he – did he have an explanation? Did he have – did he have a reason?" On the verge of tears, his voice broke when he uttered the last word, as if he couldn't take it anymore, as if –

As if one of the first real friends he had ever had turned out to have never been his friend at all.

"Hey," the dark haired boy had said. "I'm Sirius. You're Remus, right? Did you think you'd be in Gryffindor?"

"No," he'd managed to say, before –

"I'm James," said the boy with the mess of hair and spectacles. "I knew I would, but Sirius thought that because all of his family was, he would be in Slytherin." He made some disgusting noises, and the boy named Sirius roared in laughter. "So what did you think you would be in? What house, I mean?"

"Ravenclaw," he said, shrugging. These two seemed intense, and he could barely believe he was going to share a dorm with them for the next seven years. Blimey – he was going to Hogwarts. Suddenly he couldn't stop smiling, and the two boys glanced at each other with questioning looks. His grin wouldn't go away, though – and neither would he. He would go to Hogwarts for the next seven years, and he would make it the best seven years of his life yet.

"Mate, are you okay?" asked Sirius.

"I'm happy," Remus had answered.

James and Sirius shared another look between them. James raised an eyebrow and Sirius shrugged, and Remus was sure they'd known each other all their lives because they had such a connection between them. Of course, later he would find out otherwise, but at the moment all he could see is that bond they had, almost like an electric current, and he thought he might get caught in it if he wasn't careful.

For the first time in his life he wasn't careful. For the first time in his life, he was truly happy.

"What's going to happen to Pa – to Sirius?" he asked.

James shrugged. "Dumbledore isn't happy. He knew that we uh – he knew that we knew about you, of course, what with the Furry – "

Furry Little Problem.

That's what James had started to call it.

It was second year, the day after he came back to school, and his three friends – James, Sirius, and Peter – had cornered him in a classroom. Peter had been a recent addition to their little group, what with the fact that he never talked much with them, but Remus saw how lonely he always seemed, as small as a mouse, and convinced the other two to let him hang out with them, at least for a while. Peter turned out to be much cooler than they'd anticipated; James loved his attention to detail, and Sirius thought his helpful remarks and sarcastic remarks equally funny, and to be honest, Remus thought they were, too.

"We know you're a werewolf, mate," said James suddenly.

Remus remembered a very urgent need to puke at that very moment. His only friends.

His only friends, and he was about to lose them.

"I'm sorry," he said, bursting into tears. Sirius and James looked alarmed, and Peter darted to his side, trying to comfort him.

"Are you okay?" Peter asked, his tone odd.

"Yes – it's just – aren't you afraid to touch me?" he looked up at the other two. "Don't you – don't you think I'm a monster?"

Sirius burst into laughter. "Not really," he said. "We think it's awesome."

"You – you what?"

"It's awesome."

"How did you figure it out?" he asked, looking expectantly at James and Sirius, who both looked sheepish at this.

"Actually," said Sirius. "Funny story, that."

"I figured it out," said Peter.

Remus didn't really know what to say. "How?"

"Well, I noticed that you disappeared every four weeks, more or less," he shrugged. "I looked it up. You disappeared on nights of the full moon, each time. Then we followed you yesterday – I mean, the night before that, or whatever it was. And we saw – "

James interrupted. "Well, we saw you going into that tree, actually, and that's all we saw, but we heard McGonagall and Pomfrey talking, and – "

"We took what we heard there to mean that Peter was right," Sirius finished.

"And you're not afraid of me?" asked Remus in awe.

James smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "No, Moony. I'm not afraid of your Little Furry Problem, and neither is Sirius or Peter. We like you. True, you have weird studying habits – "

"A fetish for chocolate – " added Sirius, which prompted Peter to add:

"A surprisingly organized underwear drawer – "

"But," James said, "we pretty much think you're cool anyway. And you have an eye for things like Peter. No offence, mate, but Sirius and I had doubts about talking to you, and if it weren't for Moony – "

"Moony?" asked Remus, a quizzical look spread across his features. "Who's Moony?"

"You are," Sirius said. "I think it fits, doesn't it?"

"Moony, are you okay?"

"Don't call me that," said Remus. "That's my Marauder name. Sirius helped give me that name. I just can't – I can't right now."

(Part 2)

"Sirius."

His name hadn't been uttered by someone that wasn't a teacher for two months, almost. And even they mostly called him Black. Despite that, he didn't need to turned around to know who was speaking to him.

"I didn't think you'd ever speak to me again," he murmured.

"Remus is the reason I'm here, not me."

Sirius turned around so fast it was almost impossible to believe he made any movement at all; he was simply turned away from James one moment, and facing him the next.

"I shouldn't have done it, and I'm so, sorry," he said. "You know that, right?"

James sighed. "But you did it."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah."

They were quiet for far too long.

"Remus wanted to say that he forgives you, but you need to give him some time."

Sirius wanted to burst into tears of relief. He didn't. "He does?" he choked. It was hard to get words out, suddenly.

"Yes. Peter agrees with him. And I…" James hesitated. "I miss you, mate. But I'm trying to understand, and I can't. I can't understand how you could so easily betray him. Betray us, and what we are."

"I would never do it again, you know," he said quickly. "Not in a lifetime. And I didn't think of it as a betrayal. I didn't think – "

"You didn't think," James said. Sirius nodded. "Well, you'll need to give us all a little bit of time," James concluded. "But… I think we're almost ready."

"Good luck with your exams," Sirius said.

"Thanks," James said. Then he laughed. "Wormtail's brain-dead, you know, from all the studying. He's taken to watching me do things instead of doing things himself. It's a bit disturbing." James frowned for a second, before shaking his head and adding, "But I'm sure he'll get over it, eventually. In the meantime, I don't see the harm of him clapping when I do cool things, right?"

"Yeah, right," Sirius laughed.

Then, as if realizing very, very suddenly what was going on, they both turned around and walked away.

It was a quiet night. Four boys had snuck down to the village for no reason other than they wanted to sneak down to the village, and now they were sneaking back up to the school for no reason whatsoever. The night was young, and so was the moon, which was shining over them in the shape of a toenail and in the color of cheese. An averagely proportioned boy with a smack of brown hair was looking very pointedly at the ground below him, and a chubby looking boy with non-descript features asked him if everything was okay. The first boy suggested that they all sit down, maybe enjoy the last of their Firewhiskey before they actually had to go back to their room.

The only boy with glasses was very enthusiastic about this idea. He crashed to the ground dramatically – he did everything dramatically, from asking out the girl he liked to giving an essay in to Professor McGonagall – and sighed loudly. "Why do we waste our days and get wasted during our nights?" he mused, gulping from the bottle in his hand, the last one they had left from a stash of six they had hidden on the way to village in the beginning of that year.

The final boy laughed loudly – it was a pleasant sound – and bent over, clutching his stomach. "Waste days… Wasted nights…" he laughed, so much harder than the joke warranted.

The brown haired boy still looked thoughtful. He was saying something – it was slightly slurred, but comprehensible nonetheless.

"I'm drunk, and I'm never going to say this again – "

"Good morning, Sirius."

Sirius shot up. He hadn't heard that tired voice in what felt like a lifetime. "Good morning, Remus," he said carefully.

Nothing else was said, though, and it was that no one looked at him at that very moment, because if they had, they might have been blinded by the dazzling light of his teeth.

"Ready for the Defense O.W.L?" asked Sirius.

"Yeah," said James. He checked something in his pocket, then said, "C'mon, let's head down to the Hall. I have a good feeling about this."

"What, like you could fail?" laughed Peter. "I'm just worried I'll forget something important that I should definitely know. Shit, I'm jinxing it, aren't I?"

Remus nodded, though only semi-seriously. They all seemed to be in a great mood. It was going to be a great afternoon.

(Part 3)

"What do I do now?" Lily asked. Sirius' body was warm, but she felt cold nonetheless. Whether it was the gory details of a story she had known very little about – and now regretted knowing – or simply the loneliness that stems from saying goodbye to someone when you don't truly want to, the heat nevertheless was seeping out of her bones and leaving nothing but a shadow behind.

"You keep it in mind, I guess," Sirius said, shrugging. "You do with it what you will. My lesson – what I took from that – is that friends are more important than enemies. But you could always think it over."

"I think that's what I'm going to do, Sirius," she said in a small voice, soaking in the warmness of him and slowly, but surely, falling asleep. "I'm going to…"

She didn't really know how he got her to her bed, but she was thankful for it nonetheless. Sirius was a great friend.

A/N: I had this in a completely different place originally, but I had to rewrite my whole outline and it was put here instead. I think it works though; it's a nice break, a slightly different style that the rest of the story. It jumps back and forth because it's Sirius who's telling it, but it's still written from my point of view - the omniscient narrator or whatever it's called.

So yeah, I updated four days after the last update! Who knew that would happen? (I did. Shhh.)

Kickerbraut: I hope I didn't make it too obvious, but it wasn't that much of a cliffhanger, I guess. Thank you for the compliments!

Guest: I remember you, and recommend that you reread my fanfiction. All of it. That's what I do every time TLAT updates. :P And thank you so much! It means so much that you hold my fanfiction in such high regards. But next time - positive criticism. The angry thing really goes to some people's heart, and it's just better to stay positive.

Calypso: Thank you so much! Lily's been getting quite a lot of hate, and I felt really sad for her, so I'm glad that people are getting to know her a little bit more... I have a lot in store for her, the poor thing, but it's worth it in the end, I think. You'll learn to love her as much as I do, I'm sure.

In a stunning turn of events, Jewels has released on her Tumblr a possible date of publication - the end of October! Or possibly the end of October next year. In any case, I'm feeling particularly inspired now that I'm home for the holidays. Happy Rosh Hashana, ya'all! (that means New Years in Hebrew. Please don't go away cuz I'm Jewish, I love you.)

Please don't forget to follow and favorite, share with your friends, and most important of all - review. It gets me through the night.

JustGail