Disclaimer: My life may one day be as glamorous as JK's - possibly - I doubt it - but I still don't own any of Harry Potter.

So Far: Benjy and Lily tried to date but that didn't work, and James and Marlene had a very, very public fight, and Lily and James had this weird thing that was stopped, at least on Lily's part, by the fact that James and Marlene were together, so where does that leave them? Oh and Dorcas has a huge crush on Marlene and Marlene is the only girl in the dorm talking to her. Is this even a love triangle or a love pentagon? We don't know!

Chapter 21

Or

Of Snapshots

"I can't deal with all of this work," sighed Lily, crashing all of her books onto the table. This was, tragically, a loud enough action to send Madam Buchanan over to silence her. Lily nodded profusely, assuring her it was a one-time thing that shall never, ever, be repeated. When the librarian was gone, she resumed complaining. "I have so much to do, I want to cry. Thank God for Easter, or I'd probably have no hope of catching up."

"You're telling me," sighed Mary. "I don't know how you're dealing with all of this extra work. I've got two classes less than you and I'm drowning."

"Three classes, actually," said Lily, looking slightly embarrassed for the correction.

"No, I'm taking Astronomy, remember?"

"Yeah, but – "

"You two should just be glad you're not studying for your N.E.W.T.s yet," said Benjy, putting his head in his hands and making a whimper-like sound.

"There, there," said Lily, patting his back. "Think about it like this. You're one year closer than the two of us to getting rid of – all of this. You're almost done."

"Oh God," he said. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. You're right. I'm almost done. I'll be fine. C'mon, let's get back to work."

That they did, or at least attempted to. Pretty soon Mary and Lily were both distracted by muffled giggling behind them, which turned out to be – surprise, surprised – Marlene and Dorcas.

"The two of those are really chummy lately, huh?" said Benjy, without looking up from the book he was trying to concentrate on.

"Pretty much insefferable," said Mary. "That's a combination of inseparable and insufferable. I made it up especially for them. Whenever Dorcas isn't with her 'I-Only-Have-Eyes-For-You' boyfriend, she's with her, and sometimes they all hang out together, and it's a huge gross-fest."

"Mary!" whispered Lily.

"What? It's true."

"Yes, but… not quite so loud."

"Oh, sorry."

"Anyway," said Lily, "I think it's good that Marlene is talking to someone, even if it is her own brother – who's required to speak to her – and someone as iffy and betrayal-y as Dorcas."

"Whoa, bitter much?" said Benjy, taken aback.

"Yeah, sorry," said Lily. "I just – I miss both of them. I really like you guys, but the three of us used to be a – a team, or something. And then last year happened, and…"

"And it's hard to come back from things like that, sometimes, yeah, I know," said Mary, looking down at her hands. Lily hugged her, trying to comfort her, when a voice came from their left.

"Honestly, this conversation is so depressing, I'd rather be doing homework."

Sirius smirked at them, waiting for a comeback. Lily had one waiting, but things had been weird between them for a while now, and she wasn't sure if she could use it in their new position. Like they were friends-in-waiting. It was a "let's be strangers but still having friend-feelings for each other" kind of situation.

"Why don't you go annoy your actual friends, Black," said Benjy, exasperated. "Friends who don't have to study."

"You see, I would, but," said Sirius, "Remus is sick, James is in practice, and, well – I think Peter's avoiding me, but it might just be that time of the month. So here I am, trying to study, even though I know it's pointless, and – "

"Sirius?" said Mary.

"Yeah, honey-boo-boo?"

"You know that no one in this whole bloody library gives a shit about whether it's James' and Peter's time of the month, right?"

Lily and Sirius both burst out laughing. "That," Sirius said, "was the best sentence ever uttered."

"You're both ridiculously childish," said Mary. "Some of us – "

What some of us are is something that shall never be known, because at that moment Madam Buchanan kicked all four of them out.

"This is – " began Lily.

"A much better use of your time?" said Sirius.

"Go to hell."

"Not right now, I'm procrastinating."

"I'm going to study outside, since it looks so nice out," she said to Mary and Benjy, defiantly not looking at Sirius. "Come with me?"

"Sure, I'll come along. Where are we going?" asked Sirius, joining Remus and James' conversation.

"To Diagon Alley, this weekend. I'm out of chocolate, he's out of Firewhiskey – where have you been?" asked Remus, pointing at a large ink stain on his shirt.

"At the library."

"What," sighed Remus, "were you doing there, exactly?"

Sirius grinned at his two friends, but only James grinned back. "Well, at first I was there to look at something about – uh, nothing much really." He'd said the last part very quickly, very pointedly not looking at Remus. "Anyway, I ended up getting chased out of the library along with Evans and her two study buddies. She," he said bitterly, "threw her ink cartridge on me when I suggested – well, anyway. I might have been a bit rude."

James wasn't grinning anymore.

"What? It was just a bit of joking around, is all," Sirius said. "Anyway, why is it that all of your chocolate's gone, Moony? Didn't you just get some from your mother about two weeks ago? There was enough to last at least a month there."

"Yes, and then I made the mistake of sharing it with James here, because of his birthday. So during Easter weekend, on Saturday, we're going shopping, and he's going to – "

"Saturday," interrupted Sirius. "But, Prongs, I thought that – " He stopped in the middle of his sentence, clearly not sure how to continue.

"I'll be there, and so will – everyone," said James. "Don't worry."

Sirius raised his hands in surrender. "Not worrying."

THE 'NEW TRACE' LAW WILL BE VOTED ON THIS WEEKEND

The holidays are a chance for celebrating, unless you are the ever-hard working, and the still single, Lucius Malfoy, writes Daily Prophet correspondent, Rita Skeeter. This weekend he shall be laboring hard, attempting at making history.

"Though he was too busy to give us yet another exclusive interview – oh, she makes it sounds like she's had loads!" cried Lily. "You – she's – you know what, I don't have a swearword nasty enough for this woman."

"It's not her fault that Lucius Malfoy is a bigoted douche," said Benjy, taking a bite out of his breakfast apple. It was the morning before the Easter holidays, and tomorrow morning they would all be going home. Benjy didn't have class Wednesday mornings, and Charms – which is what Lily and Mary had that morning – was canceled for some reason, and Lily and Mary had taken their time getting ready that morning thanks to it, and were looking much better than they had looked in the past month or so. And so, all of these factors combined, the three of them were relaxing a bit, not hurrying or rushing. Benjy was sitting at the Gryffindor table, which had become rather unremarkable during the past few weeks. "Why do you care about this so much, anyway?" he asked. "It's not like you know any werewolves."

Lily choked on her toast. "Right, of course not," she said, coughing a bit. "It's just that – well, I think it's inhumane. And it's in bad taste that she's practically building her career on this. Not to mention, well, where they burn werewolves – "

"They might end up burning books?" asked Mary, distractedly.

Benjy frowned. "I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes."

"I was going to say Muggleborns, actually," said Lily.

"I really hope that's not how it goes," said Benjy, now in a place far beyond simple frowning. "I rather like not being burned alive, thank you very much."

"Excuse me," Sirius, plopping down next to them. "Why would anyone burn you alive? Wouldn't that be a waste of wood, at the very least?"

"We were talking about that Malfoy," explained Benjy. "Anti-werewolf legislation talk turned into Muggleborn talk."

"Not that that's any of your business," said Mary sharply. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, yes, well. I don't remember, actually," Sirius admitted. "But, since you brought it up – how are you guys with protests?"

"It depends," said Lily.

"On what?"

"On what we're protesting. Also, on how much of a douche you can be."

"Ouch, Evans, you've wounded me."

"Only because I meant to," Lily said, smirking.

"It doesn't hurt at all," swore James.

"Crap, Prongs," said Remus. "Your leg was shattered in three places."

"Oh, don't be such a sour-wolf," said Sirius, clapping a hand on Remus' back. "It'll mend right back and he'll be alright by tonight."

"It's not like he's never broken anything before…" muttered Peter.

"Yeah, but – " Remus stuttered. "Merlin, man. You won't have Madam Pomfrey forever."

"'Course I will," grinned James.

"Besides," continued Remus, as if uninterrupted. "We all know what this is really about."

Sirius and Peter nodded, and James groaned. "We've talked about this already," whined James. "I'm not broken up with her, and even if I was – "

"You're kidding yourself, and it's only hurting you, mate," said Sirius. "I mean, I could watch you make a fool of yourself all day, but it's gone past that by now. Marlene and you have broken up, and all you've done since is hurt yourself, again and again. Like you're punishing yourself or some other shit like it. And, mate, this is absolutely nuts."

"This would all be fine and well, if I were broken up with Marlene, which I'm not," said James. "So fuck off."

"Mate – "

"Did you bring me any of the sweets that you found stashed under my pillow?"

"Most of it," said Peter, handing him the bag of sweets.

"How much did you eat?" wondered James, grabbing it and digging in.

"Remus took most of the chocolate, I took the two pumpkin pasties – you never get enough of those, and I just don't get the hate – and Sirius – well, I think he just sort of grabbed whatever came first," admitted Peter. "Since when have you known we knew about it?"

James pretended to concentrate. "Since when have you known about its existence?"

"Last Sunday."

"Last Sunday, then."

"Good lord," said Marlene. "That long?"

"Nah," answered Dorcas. "I think it must have been edible for at least a week. Then it went all mushy and brown. I think they're feeding us poison."

"Why did you keep one of them, anyway?" Marlene giggled, stuffing a muffin in her mouth. "They're dishgushting."

"I know, but – "

The door opened, and the two girls calmed down their laughing pretty quickly. Tally had walked in, and – as usual – she looked… Well, the way she always looked these days. Tired and angry.

After she stopped speaking to Mary – and most likely, stopped harboring feelings for Sirius Black, which was a stupid thing to do anyway, since he never seemed interested in anyone – Tally changed. Radically. It took a while, but eventually she formed into this… thing. She still looked mousy, but now she was more like a rat – gray and sagging in places. Dorcas thought she must be on drugs, but Marlene thought it was more likely that she was "hanging around the wrong sort, is all". Whatever it was, she was skipping classes and, when she actually attended them, was inattentive and sluggish. It wasn't quite like she was in a haze – it was more like she just didn't seem to care anymore.

In any case, it was a bit odd, speaking of private things next to her. Or even not so private things. Luckily, sleeping purposes notwithstanding, she never seemed to be around Gryffindor tower… except, apparently, right now.

There were a couple of awkward, silent moments, while Tally rummaged through the pile of junk that was now her stuff. She never cleaned it up anymore. Before it happened she was possibly the most organized girl in the room aside from Dorcas.

"Shit – I forgot my notes in Charms," cried Marlene suddenly. "Dorcas, come with me to get my notes. From Charms."

"Yeah, sure," said Dorcas, grabbing a sweater with her as Marlene dragged her. "Are we leaving because – "

"Shhh," said Marlene.

Here's something that people never seemed to grasp about Dorcas: she was rude. And loud. And quite possibly on the autistic scale, with how she treated the people around her. And sometimes when she laughed she couldn't stop laughing to the point of annoying everyone near her. And even though she had been this way her entire life, Marlene and Lily somehow never ceased to be amazed by this, never seemed to stop being surprised when she said something inappropriate or rude or otherwise somehow wrong.

They always forgave her. Both of them. But Lily was the one who understood. Lily, with her temper – she understood what it was like to overreact in a way you couldn't control. Both of them with their fires, they understood each other in a way that Marlene never would. They got on each other's nerves, of course – but they were twin flames, not opposites.

And suddenly, like a gigantic wave, it hit her how horrible it was that she couldn't talk to Lily, how much she missed their friendship, how horrible it was that she had messed up and had no one like Lily left.

And right there, Dorcas asked – because this thought, for some reason, made her brave – "Marlene, what's going on with you and James?"

And Marlene turned around and said, "I've told you a million times, we're just – "

" – on a break," James said. "Fuckin' hell, would you lay off already?"

"James, we can't have you distracted before the final game, mate, is all I'm saying," said Sirius. "Quidditch is important."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," said Remus, "But I agree with Sirius. You've been moping all year and when you're finally free of this thing you're moping after you can't seem to let go."

"Sirius has been on my back all year, if anything," said James. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I am not giving up on Marlene. Just because we had a little fight – "

"A little fight? Mate, you didn't have some lover's spat in a private room. You screamed at each other in front of all of Hogsmeade, even in front of that weird lady who sometimes offers me old handbags."

"Sirius, you're not helping," said Remus.

Peter intervened now with a new approach. "Prongs, I know you're having a hard a time, but you're not focusing on the important stuff is all we're saying. If you were capable of failing, I'm pretty sure you would be, and that's the hard truth. You're like a ghoul."

Everyone looked at Peter oddly. "Ghoul?" asked Remus. "That wouldn't be my first choice."

"Yeah, but they're infinitely cooler than zombies," said Peter, unwavering. "I'll explain it to you sometime."

Remus was about to answer but his eyes landed on the clock in the room. He paled. "I'm late to my shift," he said, adding a string of curses.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" cried Sirius, but Remus was already out the door - only one finger had remained, and then that was gone too.

"I should go, too," sighed Peter. "McGonagall wanted to meet with me about that – thing. Anyway. I'll see you guys tonight."

"'Bye, Wormy," said Sirius in a sing-song voice.

"Hey, Evans, d'you have a moment to spare?"

"Huh?" Lily looked up from the piles of papers on her table. In front of her was standing James Potter in all his glory, messing up his hair in a certain kind of nervousness, and she was suddenly struck by the fact that James was handsome in all the right ways. Sure, he was a bit long in a lanky sort of way, but he was well built, quick and hard lined, like a charcoal drawing.

She shouldn't have admired him like that. He was, technically, still the boyfriend of a girl who was, technically, her closest friend.

(Even if they had fought the way they did. Even if she wasn't speaking to her. It was wrong, and she shouldn't have done it.)

"Lily," he said, and it was infuriating for some reason. She itched to be anywhere else, somewhere far away from him. How did he find her, anyway? She was sitting in a random hole in the library. But it probably took him little to no effort to figure out where she was, just like everything else he did. He himself was effortless. Sitting the way he did, stretched so far backwards he was practically horizontal, never concentrating on class and yet never missing his mark. She had to study, to work. Why was it that he got to be James Potter in all his glory, while she was messy and probably had ink on her cheek from when she had an itch and scratched there earlier?

"Do you have a moment?" he asked again, and this time she registered just how nervous he was. Was he going to ask her out again? No, of course not, don't be ridiculous, Lily, she chastised herself. He's got a bloody girlfriend.

"Yeah, uh, sure," she said. Then, realizing that he was waiting for her, she pushed her quills and books and parchment into a neat pile which she then shoved into her bag. "Let's go."

And like every other conversation that's ever mattered, they ended up in that same abandoned classroom in one of the lower levels. And Lily sat down, and James constantly ran his hands through his hair, and there was a silence that could only be shattered, not broken.

And James did.

"Did you and Sirius – " he began, then frowned, and retried. "Were you two ever a couple?"

Lily didn't reply, too shocked to say anything. Then she started laughing, and laughing, and laughing. "Is that – " she said, partially choking on her own laughter, " – is that why you took me here?"

James, who suddenly saw the humor in the situation, roared very suddenly. The two of them, so suddenly transitioning from the serious to the hilarious, laughed for much longer than was appropriate, before, finally, their breathing became less shallow and frantic, and the room grew quiet again.

Deep breath. "We weren't, you know," said Lily. "Together."

"It's just – I see the way he looks at you," said James.

Lily sighed and looked away. "Potter – "

"James."

She nodded. "James. Sirius and I were close. He was there for me and you haven't really been there for him. We never discussed your group's secrets or anything, but I think we trusted each other enough to – say some things we wouldn't have said otherwise. But we were never together – it was never anything more or less than an understanding. And Potter – James – " She sighed again, locking eyes with him and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. James' left hand was, of course, in his hair. His eyes had never seemed clearer, and she shouldn't have, she shouldn't have, she shouldn't be focusing on the color of his eyes – "James, he's your best friend. What's going on that you couldn't just ask him yourself?"

James' hand left the mop-like mess on the top of his head and he focused on her and it looked like he was trying to find something in her eyes. Unrelenting, she stared back.

"I think Sirius is angry at me," he admitted. "And I thought – maybe – " He sighed and waited a moment, before looking away.

"James – "

"You're coming to the protest, right?"

"Of course. James – "

"What?"

"You should just talk to him. If you think he might be – ew – interested in me, and if you think he's angry at you – you should just talk to him. You shouldn't just – wait for him to explode."

"Evans – "

"Lily."

"Lily. You're right, of course."

"Of course."

"Of course."

A/N: I know what you're thinking. Gail, what are you doing? You're supposed to wait at least two months before posting a new chapter. Not three weeks! Well, I've been reading a lot of emotional stuff recently, and when I ship something, I automatically want to write Jily. So... you can blame Spideypool, I guess. It's all Marvel's fault, at the end.

The best thing about this new vigorous writing is that I'm almost done writing the sixth year. Which means, more and more actual Jily. To give you some hope that I'm not just lying in your face - chapter 24 will be split into two part, so it will actually be chapter 25 as well, and will take place mostly on the train back to London at the end of the year, just for a bit of nostalgia. And there's a little surprise for ya'all planned in the end. :D

What d'ya guys think? Are Marlene and James really broken up? Will Lily ever talk to Marlene and Dorcas again, or does she have a new squad now? Will Sirius ever stop being annoying? Find out by following, favoriting, sharing, and reviewing!

I just started my senior year of high school. Am I the only one freaking out?

JustGail